If V2 decides to start caring for once, The Icarus Line will still be heading over to Europe in a couple weeks to do some shows with that MC3 or whatever it’s called thing, and play some festivals and stuff. In case ya haven’t heard yet, DKT/MC5 are the three surviving members of the MC5, and have Mark Arm from Mudhoney (!) and Evan Dando from the Lemonheads (?!) as guest singers. The day The Icarus Line is playing Reading and Leeds isn’t actually all that bad… White Stripes, Morrissey, New York Dolls, Mark Lanegan, TV On The Radio, Dillinger Escape Plan, Autolux… and a bunch more. If ya can’t get in cos it’s sold out, call The Captain at (562) 500-0820 and tell him you’ll be his date and you’ll probably get hooked up. He likes to get JACKED OFF! And like, who gets jacked off anymore these days? Here are the Icky dates… Some Holland and France dates should be added soon as well. See, we’re posting info once again, and V2 can’t even kick down a few hundred bucks a month for a banner ad on this site:
August 24th @ The Concorde, Brighton, UK (with DKT/MC5)
August 25th @ The Astoria, London, UK (with DKT/MC5)
August 28th @ Richfield Avenue, Reading, UK
(Reading Festival)
August 29th @ Bramham Park, Wetherby, UK
(Leeds Festival)
August 31st @ The Garage, Glasgow, UK (with DKT/MC5)
September 1st @ Roisin Dubh, Galway, Ireland
September 2nd @ An Cruiscin Lan, Cork, Ireland
September 3rd @ Dolans Warehouse, Limerick, Ireland
September 4th @ Whelans, Dublin, Ireland
September 5th @ Limelight, Belfast, Northern Ireland

Speaking of Reading and Leeds… The New York Dolls are playing. Izzy Stradlin is in the New York Dolls now. Didn’t Izzy always look like he was in the New York Dolls anyway? They’re playing the same day as The Icarus Line, so we’re gonna stalk the dude. We’re gonna try super hard to get Izzy Stradlin, Mark Arm, Evan Dando, Har Mar Superstar, the buff singer guy from Dillinger Escape Plan, Mangina, Jack White, and Morrissey all in the same place at once to party. FREAK SHOW!

We keep confusing the ads for the new Dillinger record for 24 Hour Fitness ads. Chill out on the weights dudes. Either grow out your hair, or pump iron… not both. You do both and you start looking like Conan The Barbarian or some shit.

Taking Back Sunday sold something like 200,000 copies of their new record in their first week. Yes… there are that many dweebs out there free to walk the streets among us.

Wires On Fire are on tour. They’re selling hand numbered and homemade versions of their EP because Lookout “Nada Hermano-ed” us on pressing the real ones in time. It’s cool though, cos they’ll be ready as soon as the kids get home. Indie rock rules! Live the dream kids! Check out their website you internet sluts – http://www.wiresonfire.com .
August 5th, Thursday- Greensboro NC @ College Hill Sundries w/
The Letters Organize
August 4th, Wednesday- Atlanta @ Drunken Unicorn w/ The Letters Organize
August 5th, Thursday- Greensboro NC @ College Hill Sundries w/
The Letters Organize
6th, Friday- Richmond, VA – TBA
August 7th, Saturday- DC – TBA
August 8th, Sunday- Baltimore @ Ottobar
August 9th, Monday- Philly – TBA
August 10th, Tuesday – Philly, PA @ Tritone w/ DJ Terrydactyl, T Mobile, and Prime Meridian, 1 more TBA
August 11th, Wednesday- New Brunswick, NJ @ Basement Show w/ Listless Lovers
August 12th, Thursday – Brooklyn @ TBA
August 13th, Friday- Dayton, OH @ Elbos w/ Wet Leather and The Vitamin
August 14th, Saturday- Louisville, KY @ Keswick Democratic Club w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, and Read Yellow
August 15th, Sunday- Clevelend @ Scene Pavilion – Strhess Fest w/ Thursday, Finch, Converge, etc.. www.strhessfest.com for more info
August 16th, Monday- Pittsburg – TBA
August 17th Tuesday- New York, New York @ Knitting Factory w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Drowningman, and An Albatross
August 18th Wednesday- Indianapolis – TBA
August 19th Thursday – Toledo, OH @ Masonic Temple w/ Planes Mistaken For Stars and Since By Man
August 20th Friday – Milwaukee, WI – @ Knights of Columbus Hall – Robot Mosh Fest w/ Undying, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Since By Man
August 21st Saturday- Denver @ Laramir Lounge w/ The Starvations *DAYTIME SHOW
August 22nd Sunday- Salt Lake City – TBA

Aaron manages Shat now. Shatmania is about to happen.

Shat is gonna book his own DIY tour. If you want Shat to play your town and can throw him on a show or can put him in touch with someone who can or you just wanna show him where he can find drugs and whores, email him at Jeffwoodofshat@yahoo.com.

Everyone is moving to LA cuz they think stuff is happening here. Stay in Nebraska please. We’ve filled the waitress quota plenty. Traffic sucks now.

Asif can stay though… as long as he doesn’t blow us off for dinner anymore. You do that shit again, and we’re gonna shit on your porch. Call us back dickfore.

Alex Newport can stay too cos he built a studio downtown and it’s kinda cool. He’s gonna record a 400 Blows album there, and a new e.p. for The Locust which will be one really long song that will come out on Ipecac. He’s also supposedly doing some work on the upcoming Gayrilla Biscuits record. If you live in L.A. and don’t mind being bossed around by limeys, check this website out: hotheadrecording.com

And another thing, if you live in LA, don’t start a band. There’s enough shitty bands here already. People are starting bands here just so they can get free drinks at the bar.

Thursday is breaking up cos the singer is getting married and doesn’t wanna hafta be away from his wife. Whatever pussy.

Bluebird broke up. The bass player is tripping and is trying to play a show every night cos he was told to do so while he was high on peyote. Ehhhhhh. Sam’s a shorthair now.

Speaking of psychos, the singer of Say Anything went crazy from listening to The Get Up Kids too much. See, we told you kids that shit was bad for you. We wouldn’t normally be giving this shit the time of day, but Casper Adams happens to be in the band for some strange reason.

Staying on the topic of freakshow singers of L.A. rock bands, the singer of Brian Jonestown Massacre, Anton Newcombe, has a documentary movie about him and the poser from the Dandi Warhols called “DIG”, and it’s supposed to be bonkers. Someone send us a copy.

Devendra Banhart and his pack of happy neo-hippies and elves want you to DRINK THE KOOL AID! Drink up kids. He’s onto some Charles Manson shit. We’re guessing that kid is gonna set up shop out at Spahn Ranch sooner or later with about 30 girlfriends…

The Get Up Kids are breaking up cuz they’re adults now. They’re gonna put out one more album first though.

Story Of The Year, and the 3,476 other mall screamo / jock metal hybrid bands with shants, bad tattoos, lip piercings, shiny wireless metal guitars, skate shoes, and have singers who tap their chests when they sing, should all be stabbed in the face. This crap makes Pennywise look bad ass. We can thank the Warped Tour for these crimes against humanity. We’re in our mid 20’s, and this shit makes us feel old. Yeah… we’re so old kids, we remember when Victory Records was a hardcore label!

Courtney Love has been bitching about having serious financial problems. We’ve got three words for you Courtney…. NIRVANA BOX SET! See how fucking smart we are? Your troubles are over. Cut us another check sweetie and put us in touch with your pill hook up goddammit.

If you go to the X Games you’re a jock. Fuck You.

If anybody knows how to hook us up with a deal on a Apple laptop, email Aaron@Buddyhead.com . Take one for the team.

Just when you thought the people who work at major labels couldn’t get any fucking dumber, in an effort to not lose their SUV’s and flat screen TV’s, they’ve started putting huge FBI “anti piracy” labels on cd’s now. Great, now if you buy a CD you get less artwork and you gotta look at this ugly FBI badge on the back and cd face. Sweet! That’s totally gonna stop piracy! Why don’t you guys just stop signing bullshit? You never know, if you put some quality out instead of quantity, people just might start buying records again.

Also, if you do work at a major label, act like Robin Hood and send us a big fat box of CD’s so we can fucking sell that shit! PO Box 1268 Hollywood, CA 90078

The MTV Video Music Awards are coming up again. Playing live this year in the “rock category” is Jet, Yellowcard, and Hoobastank… sounds sick man. Wake us up when something happens.

In the new Yellowcard video the Violin player is jumping off amps… yeah, you heard me right THE VIOLIN PLAYER. Our dorkus detector needle is in the red.

The kid with the zits and the fucked up ass problem in Saves The Day has been shooting loads up in his girlfriend, and is trying his hardest to knock her up. Mmmmk.

Steve Jones has been playing some good shit lately. Have us on your show Steve. But… hey Steve, I don’t need to hear any songs from The Libertines or Foo Fighters dude. Just play the old shit you know is good old man.

Well, we know that Indie 103 reads our site… Andy Gershon (President of V2) called Travis at 9am in the morning to tell him the good news, after the station had called him crying about how now they aren’t gonna play “Spike Island” because of what we had said about them refusing to play “Party The Baby Off” (because they said it’s “too fuzzy” and people will think their signal isn’t strong, yet they play The Jesus And Mary Chain and The Velvet Underground? Homosaywhat?) and that they had thrown all The Icarus Line cd’s in the trash and are never going to play them again. Why does Indie 103 care so much about what we think? Well in that case you think you guys are a bunch of pussies, all of you, minus Steve Jones. Yeah just keep waving the “INDIE” flag and make sure your play list looks almost identical to KROQ’s…. Oh, in case you missed this the first time, Indie 103 FM is owned by Clear Channel, and is nothing more than a ploy to knock KROQ down one point in the ratings so that KISS FM (another channel owned by Clear Channel) can be the number one station in LA. Oh, and we heard The Camp Freddy Radio Show finally, which is Dave Navarro’s, and we’d rather listen to monkeys fuck than have to listen to that dickhead talk about how he shaves his chest, and then directly after playing Nirvana’s “Rape Me” say, “Yeah Nirvana, those were the days…” If any terrorists are reading this and are planning attacks in L.A., hit the clear channel building please.

That hot keyboard / guitar player girl from The (International) Noise Conspiracy who quit the band cos she broke up with Dennis is in Sahara Hotnights now playing keyboard. Talk about conspiracies… this one sounds like one conceived by the Swedish government to get all the bomb Swede gash into one group, and thus takeover the world.

Jello Biafra and the Melvins are in the middle of making a record together. The collaboration will be called “JELL-VINS”. No shit.

Rivers Cuomo posted the following novel on his website, and it’s a pretty interesting read.

“I wrote this for readmission to school…

What I’ve Been Up To Since I Left School

Weird Science
After the initial failure of my band’s second album, Pinkerton, I decided not to return to school in the fall of 1997, instead setting out on a mission to develop creative methods which would allow me to be more consistent as an artist. Above all, I wanted to cure myself of the Romanticism which I believed was to blame for my failure.

Throughout 1998 and 1999 I engaged in hundreds of song-experiments. I filled notebooks and cassette tapes. I drew graphs, tables, and charts. I studied other writers’ methods. I took hundreds of pages of notes on the creative process, mostly from Nietzsche, but also from Goethe and Stravinsky.

At first, I maintained a social life, playing and coaching soccer and continuing my classical piano studies with Bruce Sutherland. Eventually, however, I became more and more isolated. I unplugged my phone. I painted the walls and ceiling of my bedroom black and covered the windows with fiberglass insulation. I disciplined myself to an extreme extent. My goal was to purge myself of all weakness so that I could write ‘perfect’ songs as reliably as a machine.

Most of the time, I believed that I was optimistic and happy. The song-experiments, however, produced music of less and less joy and, occasionally, I would fall into despair. At one point, in September of 1999, I actually gave up my mission and decided to go back to school, sacrificing my music career indefinitely. I contacted Dean Thomas Dingman to gain admittance, but learned that I had missed the registration deadline by two weeks. I could only move forward with the music.

I struggled on for two-and-a-half years in all. I finally concluded that such intense focus on musical perfection was only scaring off any real inspiration I might have had. I needed to broaden my focus onto a more practical, tangible goal, in the hopes that music would start to flow in service to that goal. Nietzsche’s discussions of ‘great’men’Julius Caesar, Cesare Borgia, and Napoleon’suggested the goal of ‘world domination’, or in terms applicable to me, commercial success.

Commercial success, I believed, simply dictated making the most of what I had, musically, and becoming active with my band again, and making an album and touring. I swallowed my creative insecurities for the sake of that success and revealed my songs to close associates in early 2000. Their positive reactions led to rehearsals, which led to performances. We discovered that during our long absence, we had only become more popular. Our ‘failed’ album, Pinkerton, was now viewed by many critics and fans as great. With momentum behind me, I kept writing. At the end of 2000, we entered the studio to make our long overdue third album.

Imperial Aspirations
The Green Album was released in May of 2001, going on to sell over two million copies worldwide. We toured extensively, playing our biggest concerts ever. We performed on Saturday Night Live and at the MTV Movie Awards. The album’s success at radio and MTV, and in foreign markets wherein we had had no previous success, seemed to me to validate the approach I had taken with myself and my art. I became the opposite of the unconfident hermit I was in 1998 and 1999. I believed that my band would become ‘the biggest band in the world’ and that I was the man to lead us to that destiny.

I sought to cultivate the same ruthless practicality in my business that I had achieved in my music. I studied the lives of Napoleon and David Geffen, Machiavelli’s ‘The Prince’, and contemporary texts on leadership and management. I gradually took over all of the business responsibilities from our manager and managed the band completely by myself. My performing, writing, and recording continued but were now joined by my business activities, all of which together I viewed as converging on the one goal of ‘world domination’. I read books on business and negotiating. I hired a staff. I reformed our operation, renegotiated contracts, and consolidated power. I found it easy to gain ground in negotiations because no music businesspeople wanted to ‘play hardball’ with ‘the artist’. Furthermore, I believed we were able to grow with integrity, as I could make informed choices, seeing for once exactly how the business worked.

However, I also steered us into many bitter battles, including two lawsuits and many other very tense negotiations. For example, in order to demonstrate our independence from the record company in the new age of digital media, I shut them out of the making of our fourth album, Maladroit. We financed and produced the album entirely ourselves, sending hundreds of copies of the finished product to press and radio, but none to our record company. The record company could only watch on the sidelines as the first single quickly climbed the charts, and the fans downloaded the promotional copies off the internet. At this point, we had what I believed was optimal leverage, and we renegotiated our contract.

Ultimately, however, Maladroit was not the big hit that it had threatened to be, selling only about three-quarters of a million copies. I had succeeded in improving our financial arrangement, but not in making a hit album. The record company blamed my shenanigans for the downturn in success.

Many fans also criticized the music. They heard both Maladroit and The Green Album as being ‘mechanical’ and ‘emotionless’. I tried to evaluate the criticism objectively but I had a difficult time. I had crushed my faculty of self-criticism in 1998-2000 in order to make a comeback. I could not tell if my current predicament was just a classic case of an audience lagging behind the development of an artist (as in the case of Bob Dylan when he went electric) or if I had really ‘lost something’. I reacted defensively, calling the fans ‘little bitches’ in an interview with Guitar World magazine. Now the fans were unhappy, the record company was unhappy, my associates were unhappy, and I was unhappy. I did not know what could be done to change that.

I fell into a life of ego and vice. Deep inside, however, I was having serious doubts. I asked myself, ‘Is my life really supporting the production of the music I know I am capable of creating?’ I had to admit that music no longer gave me the feeling of sublime ecstasy that it once had. Although I had already written another large pile of songs for our fifth album, I put all plans to record on hold. There was a revolution brewing in my mind, soon to be triggered by the man we had hired a few months earlier to produce the album, Rick Rubin.

Renunciation
In February of 2003, Rick gave me a copy of Daniel Ladinsky’s translation of Hafiz’s poetry, The Gift. After overcoming my initial aversion to all things spiritual, I decided to read some of the book because I trusted Rick so much. Henry Mindlin, in his introduction to the book, says:

Hafiz wrote hundreds of ghazals [or love songs], finding ways to bring new depth and meaning to the lyrics without losing the accustomed association of a love song’He explored different forms and levels of love: his delight in nature’s beauty, his romantic courtship of that ideal unattainable girl, his sweet affection for his wife, his tender feelings for his child’his relationship with his teacher and his adoration of God.

I was struck by the connection between all these different forms of love. I recognized that the feeling of sublime ecstasy I once got from music was just one more of these forms of love.

I had an epiphany: if the feeling these mystics get in union with their God is analogous to the feeling I used to get in union with my music, then their teachings for how to achieve their union should likewise serve to instruct me how to achieve my union. A whole world of spiritual teachings opened up to me for the first time since, as a child, I had decided that I was an ‘atheist’. I now read these teachings as coded instructions for how to connect with my musical creativity. For example, when Hafiz says, ‘Self-Effacement is the emerald dagger you need to plunge deep into yourself upon this path to ‘God’, I read it as ‘Self-Effacement is the emerald dagger you need to plunge deep into yourself upon this path to Musical Creativity.’ Like this, I just replaced the word God wherever I saw it. I had discovered a new path. I believed that this path was what I had been waiting for.

I eagerly studied a wide variety of traditions including the mystical poetry of Hafiz, Rumi, and Kabir, contemporary spiritual teachers such as Eckhart Tolle and Leonard Jacobson, and ancient texts such as the Tao Te Ching. In accord with my understanding of these teachings, I abruptly dropped all of my business responsibilities and hard-won power, and isolated myself once again. I fasted and lost fifteen percent of my weight. I took a vow of complete celibacy. I gave away or sold most of my possessions, my house, and my car and lived in an empty apartment next to Rick Rubin’s house for the rest of the year. I moved to settle outstanding lawsuits and reconcile myself with enemies. I apologized to many people. I volunteered six days a week at Project Angel Food in Hollywood, preparing meals for people with HIV.

Balance
Thus, my life made another extreme swing, as it has many times, at least since I was a teenager. I have been sometimes a tyrant, sometimes the most frustratingly passive person you have ever met, sometimes a socialite, sometimes a hermit, sometimes a rock star, sometimes a student. I have had little inner stability.

During this latest swing towards spirituality, however, I started a practice at Rick Rubin’s suggestion which may help me achieve some balance: meditation. I was averse to the idea, initially. My goal in trying all the crazy experiments in my life has always been to improve, maintain, or recover my connection to music. Meditation, it seemed to me, would rob me of the angst that I believed was an essential precondition to that connection. With little to lose, however, I took the chance. I experienced immediate benefits.

The technique I was drawn to is called Vipassana. It is taught around the world at over one hundred centers. (Go to www.dhamma.org for more information.) I started the practice fourteen months ago, attending seven ten-day courses and serving as a volunteer at two. Since then, I have found that the areas of tension in my mind’the fear, the anger, the sadness, the craving’are slowly melting away. I am left with a more pristine mind, more sharp and sensitive than I previously imagined possible. I am more calm and stable. My concentration and capacity to work have increased greatly. I feel like I am finally much closer to reaching my potential.

I now live in a small but comfortable apartment. I feed myself adequately. I took a class at USC this spring, ‘The History of Literary Criticism’, and enjoyed it very much. I take private lessons in music composition once a week from Bruce Reich, a professor at UCLA. I still volunteer, once a week, now at the West Hollywood Food Coalition, feeding homeless or otherwise disadvantaged people. Most pleasing to me is that, month by month, I have watched my creative flexibility growing. The music I have created over the last six months has brought me much enjoyment.

I am returning to school in the fall. Other than that, I am wide open to whatever else comes my way.”

Dave Grohl plays some drums on the upcoming Nine Inch Nails record. Should be dope seeing as how whenever homeboy does this, and only this, the album slays.

A dvd of the last Botch show ever should be out sometime soon on Hydrahead.

Speaking of Botch… the bass player recently got married… to a dude. Congratulations dude.

Iann Robinson wrote this article that totally fucks up that band Atreyu, not like it’s hard to fuck up a band named after a big flying dog from a kids movie, but still it’s funny. Somebody pussed out and took it down though, anybody still have that?

Fiona Apple’s new record “Extraordinary Machine” has been shelved by her label Sony. The rich old white dudes who run Sony are so used to making 14 year old lip-synch’ers undress that they couldn’t find a “single” and were “unsure as how to promote the record” says her producer Jon Brion. Weak.

The singer of The Gossip lost a lot of weight. Two words – Trim Spa. Click HERE.

In other girl rocker news, Erase Errata’s guitar player has quit. We’re not sure why but we are sure that now the singer plays guitar and they’ve got some dude who kinda looks like Jude Law singing. It seems they’re going for that whole “October” era U2 vibe now. Sweet.

Throbbing Gristle fucked everybody up by putting on their own festival for their reunion concert… and then… never showed up to play. Awesome.

Good Charlotte are finishing up their new record across the street from 3 Of Clubs in Hollywood with Eric Valentine (Dwarves, Queens Of The Stoneage) and they’re gonna call it “The Shape Of Mall Punk To Come”.

Hydrahead signed Big Business! If you haven’t seen em yet, they fucking slay. It’s Jared from Karp and Tight Bro’s on bass and beergut, and Cody of The Murder City Devils kicking ass on drums. It sounds like… y’know… Karp. We heard they’re getting a guitar player. We also heard people saying they sound like Lightning Bolt?!? If you’re one of those guys, YOU’RE TRIPPING SERIOUS BALLS!

Everyone wants to sue Vice it seems. First it was Jessica Hopper, now they’re getting sued by the disco label DFA cuz they’re claiming DFA stands for Death From Above (even though they’ve never used the full name) which is the name of a two member canuck band on Vice’s record label. We heard the drummer thinks he’s hot shit now cuz he got to fly to Australia because of his band. Hey man, get in line. Vice is also feeling heat from DJ Millionare A.K.A. Steve Dim Mak, who is taking a break from playing rap records on Cahuenga, and slapping them around over the fact that The Panthers re-recorded a song off the Dim Mak EP for their full length. Everyone just needs to have a beer, chill out, and listen to some Black Sabbath.

Dio sent Dios a cease and desist letter, so they changed their name to Dios Malos. Yes, they can still eat you under the table.

The Captain (drummer of The Icarus Line) used to play in this band Shoegazer til we let him be in The Icarus Line. Well, those dudes from Shoegazer have a new band called “Helpgnashred” and Captain plays drums on their new 7 inch that Hit Dat Records is putting out. Check it out HERE if you’re a big, big Captain fan. MP#

Danzig is taking Doyle out on the next Danzig tour so they can do a “Misfits set”. Danzig says, “It’s the closest thing to a Misfits reunion anyone is ever going to see!” Danzig also said that, “It seems like I have been touring my whole life and I want to take some time for myself and do many of the things I’ve always wanted to do, like direct my first feature film, which I will be doing this next year. I’m also in a lot of pain from getting knocked the fuck out, and need to recuperate.” Click here (http://azpunk.com/) to see Danzig get rocked by some steakhead metal guy.

The Explosion just put out a new EP online called “The Red Tape EP” and are finally done with their major label debut record for Virgin (they’ve been on the label for two years plus now). You should see that in stores before years end. To be honest, we’re more curious if their manager can name a Sex Pistols song yet.

Speaking of our Buddyhead Suicide Sampler, Wonka Vision Magazine is giving away some copies of it as well as copies of Your Enemies Friends “You Are Being Videotaped” in their new issue. Check it out.

Bobby Gillespie, from Primal Scream, just won a court case for an undisclosed amount from Rupert Murdoch’s British tabloid News of the World over an article that suggested he had an affair with Kate Moss. Ummm what? Bobby be tripping it sounds like. I mean, if someone was saying we were shagging Kate Moss we’d just go with it. It’s cool though, more money for speed now.

This band from LA called Werewolf with Robot Hands are looking for a singer. The band told this annoying kid, that we happen to know, who in turn then told us what they said… “It doesn’t matter where you live, doesn’t matter who you know, and doesn’t matter if you think you’re an amazing singer. All that counts is that you really wanna be in a band and will give it 100%.” If this sounds like something you wanna do, check them out at www.purevolume.com/werewolfwithrobothands or www.werewolfwithrobothands.com. And then email Brian (who we’re gonna guess is in the band) at ifitbledsitleads@aol.com. If singing isn’t your thing spread the word by repost it or telling a few friends. DO IT FOR THE SCENE.

On Oct 26, Pavement’s “Crooked Rain” (Travis swears it’s the best one) hits the stores again, this time as a “DELUXE EDITION”. Tons of extra shit and prolly more artwork. Rad!

CONTEST
We’re giving away 10 copies of Jayz’s Black Album. If you wanna win Jigga’s new album all about how he’s awesome, send us an email to buddyhead@buddyhead.com with “I WANT SOME JIGGA MAN YO” and tell us why we should send you a copy of this cd. DO IT, DO IT!

Mic-stands to the face always suck. Click HERE.

A new Hot Snakes album called “Audit In Progress” is recorded, and it hits your local record store shelves October 5th 2004. We’ve seen the cover already and it features a smiling soccer ball and pirate rubbing a cat’s belly or some shit. You think we’re joking? Just wait. We haven’t heard it yet, but we’re pretty sure it’s gonna kick ass. I mean, it’s Hot Snakes, what could really go wrong there? One change on this record is that Jason Kourkounis is no longer drumming (he’s busy touring with Burning Brides right now, there’s no hard feelings). This time around you’ll hear Mario Rubalcaba (Black Heart Procession, RFTC, and Clickitat Ikatowi). Also, The Snakes are hitting the road!
9-30-04
MASON JAR
2303 EAST INDAIN SCHOOL RD.
PHOENIX, AZ. 85016
602-954-0455
10-01-04
EPICENTRE
7450 MIRA MESA BLVD.
SAN DIEGO, CA. 92111
858-271-4000
10-02-04
Troubadour
9081 Santa Monica Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90069
310-276-1158
10-03-04
Great American Music Hall
859 O’Farrell Street
San Francisco, CA 94109
415-885-0750
10-07-04
North Star Bar
2639 Poplar Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
10-08-04
Ottobar
2549 N. Howard St
Baltimore, MD 21218
10-09-04
Northsix
66 North 6th St
Brooklyn, NY 11211
10-10-04
Knitting Factory-NYC
74 Leonard St
New York, NY 10013

Year Future are going on tour. Make sure you don’t miss this fine L.A. band when they roll through your town.
08/11 Wed Anaheim @ Chain Reaction w/ Hint Hint, Free Moral Agents – all ages
08/13 Fri Denver @ Larimer Lounge (6:00 all ages show)
08/13 Fri Denver @ Larimer Lounge (9:00 21+)
08/14 Sat Omaha @ Sokol Underground
08/15 Sun Chicago @ Fireside Bowl w/ The Starvations, Wolf & Cub
08/16 Mon Cleveland @ Grog Shop w/ Wires On Fire, The Explosion, Burning Brides
10/02 Sat Brooklyn NY @ Northsix w/ Gogogo Airheart
10/03 Sun NYC @ Knitting Factory w/ Gogogo Airheart
10/04 Mon Boston @ Middle East Upstairs w/ Gogogo Airheart
10/05 Tue Philadelphia @ First Unitarian Church w/ Gogogo Airheart, Explosions in the Sky
10/06 Wed WDC @ Warehouse Nextdoor w/ Gogogo Airheart
10/08 Fri Chicago @ Fireside Bowl
10/09 Sat Lawrence KS @ Replay Lounge
10/10 Sun Denver @ Larimer Lounge
10/13 Wed San Francisco @ Bottom of the Hill w/ The Holy Kiss
10/14 Thu Los Angeles @ The Echo w/ The Holy Kiss

Planes Mistaken For Stars are back on the road again playing some shows and probably taking turns blowing each other in the back of their van.
07/21/04 Lincoln, NE @ Knickerbockers w/ TBA [PMFS HEADLINE]
07/22/04 Wheaton, IL @ Wheaton Grand Theatre w/ TBA [PMFS HEADLINE]
07/23/04 OFF
07/24/04 Washington, DC @ American Univ. Kay Spiritual Center w/ Ultra Dolphins, Snack Truck, 1905 [PMFS HEADLINE]
07/25/04 Elizabeth, NJ @ Hellfest w/ Lots of really awesome hardcore bands
07/26/04 Toronto, ONT @ Rockit w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, The Bronx, Decahedron
07/27/04 Toronto, ONT @ Rockit w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, The Bronx, Decahedron
07/28/04 East Lansing, MI @ Mac’s Bar w/ Decahedron, Bear Vs. Shark, Spit For Athena [PMFS HEADLINE]
07/29/04 Detroit, MI @ Shelter w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, The Bronx, Decahedron
07/30/04 Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, The Bronx, Decahedron
07/31/04 Chicago, IL @ Fireside Bowl w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, The Bronx, Decahedron
08/01/04 Chicago, IL @ Fireside Bowl w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, The Bronx, Decahedron
08/02/04 Lawrence, KS @ Jackpot Saloon w/ TBA [PMFS HEADLINE]
08/03/04 Boulder, CO @ Fox Theatre w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, Read Yellow
08/04/04 OFF
08/05/04 OFF
08/06/04 San Francisco, CA @ Bottom Of The Hill w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, Read Yellow
08/07/04 West Hollywood, CA @ Troubador w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, Read Yellow
08/08/04 West Hollywood, CA @ Troubador w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, Read Yellow
08/09/04 Phoenix, AZ @ Mason Jar w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, Read Yellow
08/10/04 OFF
08/11/04 Austin, TX @ Emos w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, Read Yellow
08/12/04 New Orleans, LA @ The Parish w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, Re ad Yellow
08/13/04 Spartenbug, SC @ Ground Zero w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, Read Yellow
08/14/04 Louisville, KY @ Keswick Democratic Club w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, Read Yellow
08/15/04 Cleveland, OH @ TBA Strhessfest (Tentative)
08/16/04 New York, NY @ Knitting Factory w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, Read Yellow
08/17/04 Long Island, NY @ TBA w/ Since By Man [PMFS HEADLINE] (Tentative)
08/18/04 Pittsburgh, PA @ TBA w/ Since By Man, Wires On Fire [PMFS HEADLINE] (Tentative)
08/19/04 Toledo, OH @ Masonic Temple w/ Since By Man, Wires On Fire [PMFS HEADLINE]
08/20/04 Milwaukee, WI @ Knights Of Columbus Hall Robot Mosh Fest – w/ Undying, Since By Man, Wires On Fire, and more.
08/21/04 Columbia, MO @ TBA w/ Since By Man, Wires On Fire [PMFS HEADLINE] (Tentative)

The Starvations are taking off for their U.S. summer tour tomorrow! If you have friends in any of these cities, spread the word!
July 30 Tucson, AZ @ Club Congress w/ Knockout Pills
July 31 Phoenix, AZ @ The Complex
Aug 02 Denton, TX @ Rubber Gloves
Aug 03 Austin, TX @ Emo’s
Aug 04 New Orleans, LA @ One Eyed Jacks w/Starlite Desperation
Aug 05 Memphis, TN @ Young Avenue Deli w/Mouserocket
Aug 06 Atlanta, GA @ Lenny’s Bar
Aug 07 Columbia, SC @ Art Bar
Aug 08 Brooklyn, NY @ Trash
Aug 10 Boston, MA @ Middle East
Aug 11 New York, NY @ Lit Lounge w/Broke Revue
Aug 12 Baltimore, MD @ Talking Head Club
Aug 13 Pittsburgh, PA @ Garfield Artworks w/The Mae-Shi, Rapider
Than Horsepower
Aug 14 Cleveland, OH @ The Black Eye w/This Moment IN Black
HIstory, The Peppermints
Aug 15 Chicago, IL @ Fireside Bowl w/Year Future
Aug 16 Green Bay, WI @ Mainstage
Aug 17 St Paul, MN @ Big V’s w/Red Satyrs (and daytime radio
show)
Aug 18 Sioux City, IA @ Legion Hall
Aug 19 Lawrence, KS @ Bottleneck (early show: 6-9pm) + possible
party
Aug 20 Kansas City, MO @ The Hurricane
Aug 21 Denver, CO @ Larimer Lounge (early show, BBQ party)
Aug 22 Las Vegas, NV @ Double Down Saloon

Quite shortly The Icarus Line will be spreading their sound like a bad case of anal-herpes across The United States Of America and Canadia. They’ll be sharing the stage with such radical bands as Dead Meadow, Battles, Nardwuar’s band – The Evaporators (who are doing the whole west coast… FUCK YES!), 400 Blows, and Year Future. Travis is staying home this tour cuz someone’s gotta work on shit while Aaron’s playing rock star. If ya wanna be the super cool fan dork up front who knows the new songs before everybody else, you can download the band’s latest BBC session they did in London recently here: PART 1 PART 2. The 2 new songs are called “Skipping Church” and “Frankfurt Smile”. There’s a half assed Black Flag cover on there too where Joe apparently doesn’t remember the words. Also, if you aren’t a limey, chances are ya haven’t heard the Funkadelic cover that’s a b-side on the “Party the Baby Off” single cuz that shit is like 40 bucks on import. Check that out here: Speedsick & Hit It & Quit It. Oh yeah, like we said before, if ya wanna get into any of the shows for free, find Aaron beforehand and give him Ritalin and a gay blowjob out back. Just Ritalin should work too.
THE ICARUS LINE:
06 22 04 – Austin, TX @ Emo’s (with 400 Blows)
06 23 04 – New Orleans, LA @ One Eyed Jacks (with 400 Blows)
06 24 04 – Atlanta, GA @ Echo Lounge (with 400 Blows)
06 25 04 – Orlando, FL @ The Social (with 400 Blows)
06 26 04 – Columbia, SC @ New Brookland Tavern (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
06 27 04 – Carrboro, NC @ Cat’s Cradle (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
06 29 04 – Washington, DC @ Black Cat (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
06 30 04 – Baltimore, MD @ Fletcher’s (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 01 04 – Philadelphia, PA @ The Khyber (with Dead Meadow, 400 Blows & Trouble Everyday)
07 02 04 – Boston, MA @ Middle East (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 03 04 – Ottawa, ONT @ The Capital Music Hall (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 04 04 – Toronto, ONT @ Mod Club (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 05 04 – New York, NY @ Knitting Factory (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 06 04 – Pittsburgh, PA @ The World (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 07 04 – Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 08 04 – London, ONT @ Call The Office(?!)(with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 09 04 – Detroit, MI @ Shelter (with Battles & Dead Meadow)
07 10 04 – Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave Bar (with Battles & Dead Meadow)
07 11 04 – Chicago, IL @ The Bottom Lounge (with Battles & Dead Meadow)
07 12 04 – Minneapolis, MN @ 7th Street Entry (with Battles & Dead Meadow)
07 13 04 – Des Moines, IA @ Hairy Mary’s (with Battles)
07 14 04 – Omaha, NE @ Ranch Bowl (with Battles)
07 15 04 – Lawrence, KS @ The Bottleneck (with Battles)
07 16 04 – Denver, CO @ Larimer Lounge (with Battles)
07 17 04 – Salt Lake City, UT @ Lo-Fi Cafe (with Battles)
07 19 04 – Vancouver, BC @ Richard’s on Richards (with Battles and The Evaporators)
07 20 04 – Victoria, BC @ Lucky Bar (with Battles)
07 21 04 – Seattle, WA @ Crocodile Café (with Battles and The Evaporators)
07 22 04 – Portland, OR @ Dante’s (with Battles)
07 23 04 – San Francisco, CA @ The Pound (with Battles and The Evaporators)
07 24 04 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Roxy (with Battles, Year Future, and The Evaporators)
07 25 04 – Anaheim, CA @ Chain Reaction (with Battles and The Evaporators)
07 27 04 – San Diego, CA @ The Casbah (with Battles, Year Future, and The Evaporators)

Your Enemies friends are playing Siren fest (in NYC) and Hell fest (somewhere else far away) this summer. They’re doing a show with The Hunches and The Ponys at The Troub and some shows with Read Yellow on the way out to Siren Fest and back. Here they are:
June 18th – Skratch Magazine Party at The Knitting Factory in Los Angeles
June 19th – Goleta, CA @ The Hard to Find with Year Future and the Vanishing
June 29th – Hollywood, Ca @ The Troubadour with Starlite Desperation, The Hunches, & The Ponys (8pm doors – YEF on at 11pm)
Jul 09 Denver, CO Larimer Lounge w/Read Yellow & Kill Radio
Jul 11 Iowa City, IA Gabe’s Oasis w/Read Yellow & Kill Radio
Jul 12 Chicago, IL Subterranian w/Read Yellow
Jul 13 Detroit, MI Shelter w/Read Yellow
Jul 14 Toledo, OH Headliners w/Read Yellow
Thu Jul 15 Covington, KY Radio Down w/Read Yellow
Fri Jul 16 Pittsburgh, PA Club Café
Sat Jul 17 Coney Island, NY Siren Fest w/Blonde Redhead/Trail Of Dead, etc
Mon Jul 19 Cleveland, OH Grog Shop w/Read Yellow
July 22nd @ The Loft in Poughkeepsie, NY
Jul 23 Elizabeth, NY Hellfest *** HELLFEST WILL BE ONE OF THESE 3 DAYS
Jul 24 Elizabeth, NYHellfest
Jul 25 Elizabeth, NY Hellfest
July 28th @ The Bottleneck in Lawrence, KS
Aug 22 Los Angeles, CA Sunset Junction w/ Blonde Redhead, The Donnas, etc…

Radio Vago are up and running again. The band has been kicking ass around L.A., and will be finishing their debut album shortly with Slowmar.

Shat is recording a new 69 song record for Buddyhead. No, we’re not joking. And Shat is ready to tour, so if you’re in a band, take Shat on tour. Don’t be a pussy!

Speaking of Shat… Why isn’t Shat on Ozzfest? The hillbilly sister fuckers that pay between $90 and $370 for admission would surely eat up Shat and his weird metal songs about pussy. Ozzy’s kids need to get down with Shat. DO IT!

So yeah, Ozzy is hauling his geriatric corpse back out on stage and bringing those other old dudes with him so that all the Hessians will spend all their “bail me out of jail after I get drunk and forcefully sodomize my sister” money on Ozzfest tickets. Guess it’s a good business move, but do you really want to see “Disney Ozzy” shaking like a crackhead singing “Hole in the Sky?” We’ll stay home and avoid Wresltemaniafest or whatever you wanna label this circus without SHAT.

Michael Moore’s new flick “Fahrenheit 9/11” finally got picked up for distribution and will hit theatres nationwide June 25th. The trailer debuted on the internet a few days ago, and it looks BADASS… check it out…. Click here for the trailer and here for Michael Moore’s site. Learn.

Creed broke up… finally. Even Jesus is stoked.

The Vines broke up too… finally. Their “crazy and wild” pot smoking “singer” dude is stoked cuz now he has time to impregnate that chick who’s hairy and dirty or whatever she’s called.

The Libertines broke up too. Finishing a record didn’t sound as much fun as hittin tha pipe.

From the sound of those three last items… shit might be looking up!

We haven’t heard that Velvet Revolver record, but can someone tell that dude who wasn’t in STP or GNR that wearing a beanie and a “Famous Stars And Stripes” t-shirt in every promo photo makes him about as cool as those weenies in Blink 182. Come on dude, you’re in a band with Slash now, let’s not be a total pussy and lose the jock beanie and grow your hair out. Same goes for you Matt Sorum, no one cares that you played on “Illusions” buddy, lose the frosted short Hollywood cut and grow that shit out. Weiland… well you’re fucked no matter what man, just keep doing drugs.

Buddyhead’s lawyer, Bryan Christner, (who used to be in Shelter), won one more for the good guys and got back the rights to the two Atlantic-era Jawbox records for DeSoto Records (who’s gonna re-release them next year, hopefully with some DVD bonus material). Once again Bryan sticks it to the man. Dude is like the Robin Hood of lawyers and shit. Think about it, he does handle us losers.

Speaking of Shelter, Youth Of Today are doing even more reunion shows this summer, but this time in the U.S. Porcell is tired of folding t-shirts at Equal Vision, and needs the loot. Ray too, even though he’s not straight edge anymore, and has a sex addiction problem. Speaking of hardcore dudes with sex addiction problems, these guys had better ask Gayrilla Biscuits to open the shows.

That new Cure song sounds like some posers like Thursday writing a Cure-esque song, though more “in key” vocally. Yeah, it’s fucking shitty, and Robert Smith looks even more bizarre now, like he does his makeup with powdered donuts… which would totally make sense, cause he’d get to gorge his face with donuts after getting all tarted up. Ten bucks says Aaron’s doing that by the next Icarus Line record.

Speaking of Thursday, their crybaby singer kid goes around telling people that “playing live isn’t really their thing”. They also reportedly hit the stage at Coachella by announcing, “Hey, we’re Thursday, and we’re an emo band, you might have heard about emo by now!” Too bad security was tight at that shit, cos if somebody had a gun, that dude woulda been ended.

Stop by Cole Rehearsal in Hollywood… it’s on Cole just south of Santa Monica… if ya wanna hear Fred Durst attempting to “sing”. They’re in studio D. Homeboy usually shows up around 9 or 10. It’s comedy, we promise. Tell em we sent you.

Speaking of LAME DORKS… Click here to see Hollywood’s new batch of ironic social butterflies http://www.polaroidscene.com/…if you hang out with these people you are a lame dork.

Capitol will be releasing “The Mazzy Star Anthology” (a collection of songs from the bands three studio albums) in October of 2004 with some bonus DVD material. Dope.

Hope Sandoval is also on one song on the “Vetiver” record, which Devendra Banhart plays guitar on and Colm from My Bloody Valentine plays drums on. Also, look out for the Arthur comp Devendra put together. And buy Devendra’s new record. Homeboy is weird and sings about his teeth and shit. Here’s that comp tracklisting. Click here (http://www.arthurmag.com/store/bastet_cds.php) to buy that shit.
1. Vetiver (with Hope Sandoval) – “Angel’s Share” (from the “Vetiver” LP)
2. Joanna Newsom – “Bridges and Balloons” (from “The Milk-Eyed Mender” LP)
3. Six Organs of Admittance – “Hazy SF” (previously unreleased)
4. Viking Moses – “Crosses” (from “Crosses”)
5. Josephine Foster – “Little Life” (prev. unreleased home recording)
6. ESPers – “Byss & Abyss” (from “ESPers” LP)
7. Vashti Bunyan & Devendra Banhart – “Rejoicing in the Hands” (from the forthcoming “Rejoicing in the Hands of the Golden Empress” LP)
8. Jana Hunter – “Farm, CA” (prev. unreleased)
9. Currituck Co. – “The Tropics of Cancer” (from “Ghost Man on First”)
10. White Magic – “Don’t Need” (from forthcoming EP)
11. Iron and Wine – “Fever Dream” (from “Our Endless Numbered Days” LP)
12. Diane Cluck – ” Heat From Every Corner” (from “Macy’s Day Bird”)
13. Matt Valentine – “Mountains of Yaffa” (prev. unreleased)
14. Entrance – “You Must Turn” (prev. unreleased home recording)
15. Jack Rose – “White Mule” (from “Red Horse, White Mule” originally released thru Eclipse, forthcoming on VHF)
16. Little Wings – “Look at What the Light Did Now” (from “Light Green Leaves”)
17. Scout Niblett – “Wet Road” (from “Sweet Heart Fever”)
18. Troll – “Mexicana” (from “Pathless Lord”)
19. CocoRosie – “Good Friday” (from “La Maison de Mon Reve”)
20. Antony – “The Lake” (from “Live at Saint Olaye’s With Current 93″)

It’s Christmas in June all over the black hole of humanity that is the Midwest. Yep, a new Slipknot record is upon us. Right now there are about a million dudes with names like “Shitpile” and “Scumfucker” that will take a break from their backyard wrestling matches with their 5 year old sisters to spend every penny they have in their pockets that isn’t going to porno.

Lakers in 5 bitch.

Jeff Winterberg (ex Antoich Arrow) has a photo book out called “Rat a Tat…Birds”. It’s a collection of pictures from 1991-2003 featuring live shots of Jesus Lizard, Monorchid, Karp, Nation Of Ullyses, Boredoms … you name it. It’s fucking rad. Get it @ www.jeffwinterberg.com

Jeff is also in a band called “Coptic Light” with John Fine (ex bitch Magnet) go see them too.

The Mars Volta are winning new fans everyday. Yesterday their new fan was Kirk from Metallica, click here for photo.

Watching American Idol is the 2004 version of watching Star-Trek. Who the fuck cares about these high school talent show morons? Anything that gives Paula Abdul a job and makes millionaires out of weirdo dudes who look like Alvin from the Icarus Line needs to be abolished.

Bob Dylan & Paul McCartney both said they want to be judges on American Idol next year. Come on God, serve these guys up a pair of heartattacks before the next television season.

The guy from the Darkness who sings like the skin of his balls is being peeled away with a buck knife had some surgery that went well and now he can sing all gay again. Bummer, that doctor fucking blew it.

Dillinger have a new record coming out on July 20th called “Miss Machine”. We hear it’s about the Jeff Wood period in the band where chicks would actually show up to shows to see if they could get a piece of the dong master, Jeff Fucking Wood. The Dillinger Escape Plan is also going on tour for, like, ever. Here are the dates… Europe first, then you North American dorks can get with it.
June 5th @ Download Festival, Donnington, UK
June 6th @ Rock IM Ring Festival, Nuremburg, Germany
June 8th @ Manchester University, Manchester, UK
June 9th @ Cathouse, Glasgow, Scotland
June 10th @ Garage, London, UK
June 11th @ Exeter Pheonix Arts Centre, Exeter, UK
June 12th @ Engine Room, Cardiff, UK
June 14th @ Magnet, Berline, Germany
June 15th @ Logo, Hamburg, Germany
June 17th @ Hultsfred Festival, Hultsfred Sweden
June 19th @ Provinsrock Festival Seinajoki, Finland
June 22nd @ Garage, Oslo, Norway
June 23rd @ Stengade 30, Coppenhagen, Denmark
June 24th @ Effenaar, Eindhoven, Netherlands
June 25th @ Grasspop Festival, Dessel Belgium
June 26th @ Fury Festival, Le Mans, France
June 27th @ Danube Festival, Vienna, Austria
June 28th @ Garage, Munich, Germany
June 30th @ La Locomotive, Paris, France
July 2nd @ State X Festival, Den Hauge, Netherlands
July 4th @ Eurockennes Festival, Belfort, France
July 6th @ Bloom Art, Palermo, Italy
July 7th @ Rock Planet, Pinarella Di Cervia, Italy
July 8th @ Open Air, Lecce, Italy
July 9th @ Radio Sherwood Festival, Padova, Italy
July 10th @ Knockout Festival, Moultier, Switzerland
North American “Fucking with the Lights On” tour starts
July 18th @ Ottobar, Baltimore, MD (w./ The Bronx, Decahedron plus special guest)
July 19th @ Ottobar, Baltimore, MD (w./ The Bronx, Darkest Hour, Decahedron)
July 21st @ Middle East, Boston, MA (w./(w./ The Bronx, Decahedron plus special guest)
July 25th @ Rexplex Center, Elizabeth, NJ (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
July 26th @ Rockit, Toronto, Ont (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
July 27th @ Rockit, Toronto, Ont (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
July 29th @ Shelter, Detroit, MI (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
July 30th @ Grog Shop, Cleveland, OH (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
July 31st @ Fireside Bowl, Chicago, IL (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
August 1st @ Fireside Bowl, Chicago, IL (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Read Yellow)
August 3rd @ Fox Theatre, Boulder, CO (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 6th @ Bottom of the Hill, San Francisco, CA (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 7th @ Troubador, Los Angeles, CA (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 8th @ Troubador, Los Angeles, CA (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 9th @ Mason Jar, Pheonix, AZ (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 11th @ Emos, Austin, TX (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 12th @ Parish @ The House of Blues, (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)New Orleans, LA
August 13th @ Ground Zero, Spartanburg, SC (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 14th @ Keswick Democratic Club, Louisville, KY (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 16th @ Knitting Factory, New York, NY (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 17th @ Knitting Factory, New York, NY (w./ Special Guests)
August 20th @ Pukklepop Festival, Hasslet, Belgium
August 28th @ Reading Festival, Reading, UK
August 29th @ Leeds Festival, Leeds, UK

The new Blink 182 video for some song called “Down”, features former gang members playing and get this… this is a total thespian stretch, current gang members. Wow, take 3 white ass dudes from the rich area of San Diego and surround them with gang members. WHO THE FUCK IS WRITING THE STORY BOARDS FOR THESE DUMB FUCKING VIDEOS???? Here’s our idea for their next video, Blink 182 shows up at a party, they’re the only white dudes there… they think they’ll be “down”, cause they hang out with Tommy Lee and rich rappers here and there at gay ass Hollywood parties. So Tom (not sure which one he is, but we know one of them is “Tom”) throws up his hands like he does when he’s high fiving his warped tour buddies after someone scores in Volleyball, and instead of the nice gang members bro-ing down with Blink 182, they beat the living shit out of them for 3 minutes and 30 seconds so that it fits MTV’s criteria for a video getting shown. For 3 minutes and 30 seconds those 3 dorks get fucking pulverized. It would be the best video ever. We’d watch MTV again. It’d be great.

Call up Tara Reid and tell her it’s time to get some more plastic surgery. Yeah, let’s have her lips stapled to her ass. 323.874.9888

While you’re at it, call up Mandy Moore and tell her to act her age, 12. 310.920.1517

Is it just us or does that fat goth chick in Evanesence look like a wee bit plumper Meg White dressed up for Halloween?

That kid made another emo game. We don’t play video games, but Alvin’s gonna beat this shit man. It’s called Bush game. Bush doesn’t give a fuck. http://www.emogame.com/bushgame.html

If you can find it, pick up the new Jools Holland dvd, it’s 34 live performances from 1993-2003 including Primal Scream, Spiritualized, The Charlatans, The Verve, Oasis, Echo and The Bunnymen, Pulp, Radiohead, Blur, The Darkness and Franz Ferdinand. Shits out June 7th.

Courtney Love is going on tour… well, our guess is like one or two of these shows will happen, the rest of the time, she’ll be too busy popping crazy horse pills, showing her tits and vagina off, busting out windows, talking dirty, spitting, smoking, or being too much of a fucking wierdo tweaker to bother showing up.
June 18th @ New Haven, CT Toads Place
June 19th @ Providence, RI Lupoís The Strand
June 23rd @ Boston, MA Avalon Ballroom
June 25th @ Philadelphia, PA Electric Factory
June 26th @ Norfolk, VA The Novva
June 29th @ Washington DC Nation
June 30th @ Pittsburg, PA Rock Club

David Cross’ new record is pretty funny even if he is a dork. Check out this mp3 sample. Click here.

The Revolution Smile got dropped… do we really need to say it?

The bass player from the Strokes is having a kid. Baby lurch?

The singer from the Strokes is getting married to some chick he met in his record label’s office or something. Maybe she can lend him some girly cream for his zits.

So those lame bar rockers Godsmack had their road crew kick the shit out of faux mall “punk rockers” The Story So Far at some lame festival (which is a lot like two retards trying to claw each others eyes out in the back of the short bus), who posted a poor written and detailed account of how they got their asses kicked on their website only to later take it down. Here’s what those pussies posted.
“FUCK GODSMACK AND THIER NAZI FUCKING CREW…..
Hello everyone. Something pretty amazing happened, and I would like to share it with you………..

Last night, at a Radio Show in Indiana, my band (except for Josh, he was in the shower) and our tour manager was jumped by godsmack’s production manager, crew, and security, along with local security. It was a pretty fair fight. The five of us vs. at least ten 200+ pound football reject, jock – coke head fucking piece of shit fucking losers. Almost a fair fight huh? So what did we do to deserve this you probably wondering? It had to have been something really bad huh? Did we have sex with one of their wives? No, that’s not why. Did we steal some of their drugs? No. Not that either. Did we sell their security some bunk steroids?. No. This is the awful thing that we did to get jumped..

The show was in an amphitheater. We made everyone in the crowd jump, and asked everyone in the lawn to come down to the front of the stage. I can totally understand how this might have caused a little bit of a panic for the local security, but the show was sucking, so we had to make it rock. It’s not like there was a riot or anything. It ruled. Apparently, godsmack’s douche bag fucking production manager and crew didn’t like this, so they we’re backstage waiting for us……

I’m going to stop the story right there just to re-interate the fact that this was a RADIO SHOW. NOT A FUCKING GODSMACK SHOW. We were not opening for godsmack. We are not on tour with godsmack. The absolute fact of the matter is that neither godsmacks’s band or crew had any authority or say in anything regarding my band. It was simply none of their fucking business what happened on or off stage during our performance.

Anyway, we walked off stage excited, because we turned a shitty show into a fucking rock show. Within ten seconds of us finishing our last song, Godsmacks ugly dick faced production manager had his hands all over Dan screaming at him saying “Get the fuck out of here, you’re not getting fucking paid” “Who the fuck do you think you are, you’re not fucking rock stars”….Dan replied to the guys face “YEAAAAHHHHH ROCK AND ROLL! WAHOOOOO!” This really pissed off the piece of shit production manager. Our tour manager intervened and told the dude not touch band members. What happens next? Three cro-magnon jock fucks grabs our tour manager and holds him still so one guy could pummel his face. 4 of them jump on Adam and pummel his face. Dan, Phil, and I got hit, but not half as bad as they did. Josh walked off stage and went in the dressing room just 5 seconds before this happened and missed it. I did get to punch a dude in the face a couple of times. That ruled. Dan got to punch thier production manager in the face, and Phil, god love Phil…He picked up a metal box and smashed the pussy face production manager in the head with it. I think It’s still pretty safe to say we lost though.

Let me again re-inerate the fact that no one in godsmack’s band or crew had ANY FUCKING RIGHT TO EVEN SAY A WORD TO US. If we were opening for godsmack at one of THIER lame ass shows or if we were on tour with them, then yeah, they’ve got the power, it’s their show, they’re in charge. But even then, kick us off tour, tell us to go home, cuss at us, don’t pay us whatever. DON’T PUT YOUR FUCKING GORILLA HANDS ON MY FUCKING BAND. That’s not business, that fucking gang shit.

So we just got jumped putting on a rock show, then to top it off, the fucking cops quarantine us in a 300 degree room while all the fucks who started the fight walked around drinking beer and laughing about it. They totally started the fight, threw the first punches, and WE were fucking held in a room, then held in our bus. Then, the icing on the cake; an inbred cop with a handlebar moustache tells us “he’s not putting up with our kind” and ” the whole things a joke and he can personally guarantee that nothing will happen to anyone that kicked our ass”…. Eat another doughnut you power abusive fucking molester.

So why fuck godsmack? Because their dickface crew jumped us and not one member of that fucking band bothered to come and apologize for it. Sully (the singer) walked by our dressing room, looked at us, and gave us a dirty look. No sorry my hoosier ass crew jumped you. No sorry my band hires irresponsible fucking criminals, Nothing from any of them. Awesome.

It’s funny that we played a terrible fucking new metal festival with all these hard ass terrible new metal dork bands like godsmack, and they couldn’t handle little old storyoftheyear’s rock show. Sorry we’re not 40 years old and we don’t stand on stage like someone is forcing us to. Sorry we love our band and love to put on a show for people who pay 3 million dollars to see a bunch of dorky bands stare at their feet. So they took it upon themselves to jump us. Yeah, so fuck godsmack and their stupid fucking crew, and fuck every steroid using, jock fucking cave man security guard that thinks hitting a dude 200 pounds smaller than him is cool. Eat shit and die you fucking pussies. “

Robin posted new photos. Check em out. www.redhedpictures.com.

The Shins are on tour with Fiery Furnaces, go see em, just get ready to see 8,000 little urban outfitter pussies. Also, check out this basement recording video of “Gone For Good”.
May 21 Commodore Ballroom Vancouver, BC
May 22 Roseland Theater Portland, OR
May 25 Fillmore Denver, CO
May 27 Bricks Salt Lake City, UT
May 29 The Gorge George, WA
May 30 Neumos (TSB Benefit) Seattle, WA
Jun 1 Warfield San Francisco, CA
Jun 4 Wiltern Theater Tucson, AZ
Jun 5 Glass House Pomona, CA
Jun 6 SOMA San Diego, CA
Jun 7 Rialto Theater Tucson, AZ
Jun 9 Stubbs BBQ Austin, TX
Jun 9 Waterloo Austin, TX
Jun 10 Engine Room Houston, TX
Jun 11 House of Blues New Orleans, LA
Jun 13 Variety Playhouse Atlanta, GA
Jun 14 Cat’s Cradle Carrboro, NC
Jun 15 Norva Norfolk, VA
Jun 17 Newport Music Hall Columbus, OH
Jun 18 House of Blues Chicago, IL
Jun 19 House of Blues Chicago, IL
Jun 20 First Avenue Minneapolis, MN
Jun 21 First Avenue Minneapolis, MN
Jul 4 Roskilde Festival Rokskilde, Denmark
Jul 6 Folkets Park Malmo, Sweden
Jul 7 Tradgar n Gothenburg, Sweden
Jul 8 Munchen Brewery Stolkholm, Sweden
Jul 9 Quart Festival Kristiansand, Norway
Jul 10 Oxegen Festival Dublin, Ireland
Jul 11 T in the Park Glasgow, Scotland
Jul 17 Somerset House London, UK
Jul 18 Somerset House London, UK

WIN A FREE DVD OF RENO 911 (COMEDY CENTRAL)
Yep, we’re giving away three DVD’s of Comedy Central’s Reno 911 which hits stores on June 9th. Send us an email to buddyhead@buddyhead.com with “I WANT SOME RENO BABY” in the subject and tell us why you should win this nice nice prize prize. Click here to watch a preview of that show.

Beachwood Sparks main-dude, Chris Gunst, has a new band called Mystic Chords of Memory on Rough Trade. Killer.

Kathleen used to make sure Buddyhead knew how to spell and wrote some of our reviews and cleaned up Aaron’s puke… now she has a rock band called Tsk Tsk. If you live in L.A., go check it out:
*June 11th Friday @ The Echo (1822 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles CA) w/ Dirty Little Secret, The Lips 9 PM – $5.00 – 18+ FREE for 21+
*June 15th Tuesday @ Key Club (9039 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles CA) Indie 103.1 and Filter Magazine presents Ruby Tuesdays w/ American Eyes, The Have 8 PM – FREE – ALL AGES
*June 22nd Tuesday @ Spaceland (1717 Silver Lake Blvd, Los Angeles CA) w/ Slow Signal Fade, Jessie Deluxe, Lily and the Ladies 9 PM – 21+
*July 12th Monday @ RAGE (8911 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood CA) w/ American Eyes, Living Science Foundation 8 PM – FREE – ALL AGES
*July 19th Monday @ The Echo (1822 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles CA) w/ The Moon Upstairs, Lily and the Ladies

Dios are on tour with Beulah.
5/24 Gainesville, FL @ Common Grounds
5/25 Tampa, FL @ The Orpheum
5/26 Orlando, FL @ The Social
5/27 St. Augustine, FL @ Caf? 11
5/28 Atlanta, GA @ The Earl
5/29 Nashville, TN @ 12th & Porter
5/31 Carrboro, NC @ Cat’s Cradle
6/01 Washington, D.C. @ Black Cat
6/02 Philadelphia, PA @ North Star Bar
6/03 Brooklyn, NY @ North Six
6/04 New York, NY @ Bowery Ballroom
6/06 Asbury Park, NJ @ The Great Bamboozle Festival (w/ Sonic Youth)
6/07 Baltimore, MD @ Ottobar *
6/09 Buffalo, NY @ Mohawk Place +
6/10 Detroit, MI @ Magic Stick +
6/11 Chicago, IL @ Martyr’s +
6/13 Denver, CO @ Larimer Lounge +
6/24 Seattle, WA @ Chop Suey **
6/25 Portland, OR @ Ash Street Saloon **
6/26 San Francisco, CA @ The Fillmore

As far as New Years Eve, we didn’t do shit, but Casper Adams picked up our slack. He hit the Hollywood Hills like Max Hardcore hits porno stars mouths with his violent cock, and partied like it was 1999. Not only was Casper the life of every party he attended (he wasn’t invited to any of them mind you) but he met a whole bunch of new famous friends (Casper said Paz tried to take him home, but he’s not a first date kinda guy), and did a couple pounds of coke off their girlfriend’s tits. This dude is moving up in Hollywood. Get a piece of this soon to be superstar while you still can ladies. Check these pics out.

Johnny Knoxville, Casper, and two Jackasses.

Casper and Paz (ex-A Perfect Circle/Zwan).

Bud Bundy (Married With Children) and Casper.

Every magazine published their “best of 2003” lists… we’re gonna do one too, it’s just that we’re having trouble remembering 20 records we liked this year. We’re at 12 so far… almost. Also be on the lookout for the 2004 Buddyhead website facelift. We started off by changing this here gossip page layout. We like pink, cos we’re on the pink team. Well, some of us are.

Actually we’re never putting out an issue again. WE FUCKING QUIT. We’re gonna start golfing. Golfers get ass. Check out Tiger Woods’ wife / fiancé / fuckhole: (1)(2)

When The Icarus Line was on tour with A Perfect Circle they made Travis pay for his ride by taking more photos than ever possibly needed, including this totally cliché double group shot. Here it is in all its glory.

(from left to right: Billy Howerdel (guitar – APC), Aaron Icky Poo (guitar – The Icarus Line), James Iha (guitar – APC), Josh Freeze (drums and cigerettes – APC), The Captain (drums – The Icarus Line) in the back, Alvin Deguzman in rock star pose (guitar – The Icarus Line), Maynard James Keenan giving the peace sign (vocals – APC), Twiggy errr Jordie White (bass – APC), Don Devore (bass – The Icarus Line), and Joe Cardamone (vocals – The Icarus Line).

To celebrate this special time of year, Shat wrote you all a song. It’s called “Thank You For Giving”. A bit late for this Thanksgiving we know, but early for next years! Happy Holidays from Jeff Wood! Click here. Also, check out his website.

At a recent rock show in the dark shithole city known as Detroit, something quite magical happened. It all started when that poser from the Von Bondies (who talks about Radiohead in every interview like it’s some crazy obscure band we should all check out) tried to start a fight with Jack White of The White Stripes cuz he’s jealous of them and wishes that his shitty band was bigger than them. Homeboy has been talking mad shit on the White Stripes even though he’d probably be working at a gas station right now if it weren’t for that band. So Jack, with only one good hand mind you, beat the living piss outta the dork. Decked him seven times in the face and kept drilling him with his one good hand (that doesn’t have all those metal pins in it) even once he was down. Yooooooowzah! Sent that ego-driven dorkus to the hospital with a dislocated eyeball, a bruised self esteem, and some nice new beauty marks that chicks are gonna DIG! Not. The best part is even though he started the fight, now he’s gonna sue Mr. White for 4 million dollars or some fucking shit. What a total pussy.

Elusive Buddyhead recording artists, Your Enemies Friends are going out on the road with The Dillinger Escape Plan & The Locust FOR A REALLY LONG TIME. Now you know that’s gonna be a weird crowd. Half the crowd will be tough guy metal dudes with Pantera shirts who hate faggots, and the other half will be white belted spock kids who wish they were faggots. Gonna be some brawls we’re guessing. This tour will be your first chance to pick up a copy of the Buddyhead Label Suicide Sampler (Buddyhead #10 finally!) at Your Enemies Friends’ and Dillinger’s merch booth. It’s 2 discs full of unreleased and rare tracks from not only Your Enemies Friends, The Dillinger Escape Plan, The Icarus Line, Burning Brides, Murder City Devils, At The Drive-In, Shat, Gayrilla Biscuits, Souls She Said, Text, and Radio Vago, but The Locust as well! How’d we do that? Wait and see! Get it before it hits stores at one of these shows below. It’ll be the cd with blood all over the cover, cuz blood is cool! Also, peep their website, it’s killer… you can see how cute they all are… ahhhh. http://www.yourenemiesfriends.com
1.12 DENVER @ LARIMER LOUNGE (with Sleepy Time Gorilla and Bear vs. Shark)
1.14 KANSAS CITY @ SPITFIRE (with just The Locust)
1.15 IOWA CITY @ GABE’S OASIS (with just The Locust)
1.16 MINNEAPOLIS @ TRIPLE ROCK (with just The Locust)
1.17.04 CHICAGO, IL @ THE METRO
1.18.04 INDIANAPOLIS, IN @ THE EMERSON THEATRE
1.20.04 CLEVELAND, OH @ THE GROG SHOP
1.21.04 GRAND RAPIDS, MI @ THE INTERSECTION
1.22.04 DETROIT, MI @ ST. ANDREWS HALL
1.23.04 TORONTO, ONT @ OPERA HOUSE
1.24.04 LONDON, ONT @ CALL THE OFFICE
1.25.04 GUELPH, ONT @ TRASHETERIA
1.26.04 OTTOWA, ONT @ BABYLON
1.27.04 MMONTREAL, ONT @ RAINBOW
1.29.04 WORCESTER, MA @ THE PALLADIUM
1.30.04 SAYERVILLE, NJ @ KROME
1.31.04 PHILADELPHIA, PA @ THE TROCADERO
2.1.04 NEW YORK, NY @ THE BOWERY BALLROOM
2.2.04 WASHINGTON, DC @ 9:30 CLUB
2.3.04 RICHMOND, VA @ ALLEY KATZ
2.4.04 WINSONT SALEM, NC @ ZIGGYS
2.5.04 JACKSONVILLE, FL @ JACK RABBITS
2.6.04 TAMPA, FL @ TWILIGHT
2.7.04 ORLANDO, FL @ HOUSE OF BLUES
2.9.04 TALLAHASSEE, FL @ THE BETA BAR
2.10.04 COLUMBIA, SC @ UNCLE DOCTORS
2.11.04 ATLANTA, GA @ MASQUERADE
2.12.04 NASHVILLE, TN @ EXIT IN
2.13.04 MEMPHIS, TN @ THE HI TONE
2.14.04 BIRMINGHAM, AL @ ZYDECO
2.15.04 NEW ORLEANS, LA @ HOUSE OF BLUES
2.16.04 HOUSTON, TX @ THE ENGINE ROOM
2.17.04 AUSTIN, TX @ EMOS
2.18.04 DALLAS, TX @ TREES
2.20.04 TUSCON, AZ @ RIALTO THEATRE
2.21.04 SAN DIEGO, CA @ EPICENTER
2.22.04 ANAHEIM, CA @ HOUSE OF BLUES
2.23.04 LOS ANGELES, CA @ HOUSE OF BLUES
2.24.04 DAVIS, CA @ UC-DAVIS
2.25.04 SAN FRANCISCO, CA @ SLIMS
2.27.04 PORTLAND, OR @ ROSELAND BALLROOM
2.28.04 SEATTLE, WA @ SHOWBOX
2.29.04 VANCOUVER, BC @ MESA LUNA
3.3.04 DENVER, CO @ BLUEBIRD

The Icarus Line is kicking off the New Year by touring the UK with Primal Scream. Somebody is going to die on this tour that’s for sure. Primal Scream does more drugs in one night than Keith Richards did in the entire 70’s. These shows will be the only place all you English and Scottish lads can get your hands on the “Three Jesus Songs” sampler containing 3 new tracks from The Icarus Line’s upcoming “Penance Soiree” album (and will you fucking stop emailing us asking when it’s coming out, we’re thinking March – For now download “Up Against The Wall Motherfucker” by clicking here). This fucker won’t be available in stores, so if you want it, get out to one of these shows below. More Icarus Line shows may or may not be added, but these ones are fer sure:
January 16 – Glasgow – Carling Academy
January 17 – Glasgow – Carling Academy
January 18 – Manchester – Carling Apollo
January 20 – Birmingham – Carling Academy
January 21 – Southampton – Guildhall
January 23 – London – Hammersmith Apollo
January 24 – London – Coronet

We have a new celebrity “story” couple, yeah. Tommy Lee is wrecking Pink’s trashbox. On some airline flight the two got wasted and almost got thrown off the flight because of “rowdy” behavior. Pink looks like a dude sometimes, then other times, she looks like a chick… but even then, there are “dude” qualities. Ever notice that? 50 bucks she’s got a wiener. Tommy, you can do better than this man… just let Jeff Wood have her man.

The singer for the Darkness got arrested in New York because they thought he was a terrorist. They let him go though. If we were the pigs that arrested that dick, we’d have him under the hot light asking him, “WHAT THE FUCK IS FUNNY ABOUT BEING AN IRONIC HAIR SPRAY METAL BAND?” and then we’d send in Aaron Icarus in a full cop outfit complete with a greasy moustache, and Aaron would do a full body cavity search without a glove… and he’d like it.

Radio Vago told us they found a new singer and that they are planning on finishing their debut album for Buddyhead with Omar Rodriguez-Lopez (he plays guitar for The Mars Volta and is Jennifer Lopez’s little brother) as soon as time permits. We’re excited to say the least, cuz we loved J-Lo’s last joint, it was fucking off the hizzy yo.

Adrienne (former singer of Radio Vago) has a new band herself. They are called Shoot Out The Lights… or maybe it’s Shoot The Lights Out… anyway, either way, they are really good. If you like to go see bands n’ stuff, and live in L.A., you know this already. If you haven’t seen this band yet, here’s when they’re playing:
Sat. Jan. 3rd @Bottom of the Hill, SF w/ The Hard Place, Bart Davenport
Thurs. Jan. 8th @The Silverlake Lounge w/ The Lovemakers, Seksu Robot 21+
Thurs. Jan. 15th @Zen Sushi, LA w/The Lips, The New Collapse
Tues. Jan. 27th @Spaceland, LA w/ The Blood Arm, The Adored, Mika Miko
Thurs. Feb. 20th @The Smell w/ Electro Group (more TBA)
Fri. Feb. 27th @The Scene w/ Tsk Tsk, Hot & Heavy

Oh yeah, we couldn’t remember if we told you or not, but we’ve signed a new band with these four little shitheads from L.A. called The Fallen. One of the conditions though, was that they stop doing so much god damn blow, and find a new band name that doesn’t suck. So if anybody has any good band name ideas, email us, or go see them play one of these shows and tell them… Jan 6th@ Q-Topia (6021 Hollywood Blvd) with Nantucket Suicide (who also rule) and Broadie (no, not the chick from The Distillers). The show is all ages, $5, doors @ 9:00, show starts at 9:30, “The Fallen” play third. Go see em, they fucking slay.

The Fallen are also playing with Yeah Yeah Yeahs on January 21 at the Troubadour. If you already have tickets to the sold out show, come early to see The Fallen… or whatever they’re called by then. Har Mar is playin too. Time to make party. Hopefully Nick can seal the deal with Fairuza Balk. He’s gonna hafta dump that Bright Eyes kid first though.

Speaking of that Bright Eyes kid we heard he only made out with Winona Ryder, dude… you’re gay.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs are up for a Grammy but are gonna lose to The White Stripes cuz Jack White made a deal with the devil and shit. Karen O is gonna show up to the awards dressed up as one of her favorite Lord Of the Rings characters.

Call up the tour manager, Pete Robertson, for those big haired emo puffs, Coheed and Cambria, and tell him that the Nazi soldiers were only following orders too. 323-304-4764. Mixing emo with prog-metal leads to the sort of things that would happen if you bred a short bus riding, drooling, soft-serve retard midget girl with one of those 4 dudes in every high school who wear all over print t-shirts with unicorns, dragons, and rainbows on them, and sit in the back of the lunch room playing dungeons and dragons. What a total fucking mess.

We heard that the gawky “MAD Magazine” looking singer guy from Thursday broke down in tears at some “acoustic in-store” in Boston at Newbury Comics. Apparently this bedwetter does this every night during the exact same part of the song. Sounds a little scripted to us. When did fake crying become cool? Where the fuck were we? Did we miss a meeting? The worst part is that there are 300,000 emo-nazi youth hanging onto every word this dipshit says, setting us all up for a huge wave of emotional fruitcakes who will spawn a billion other crybaby bands. We’re in for some shit folks.

David Yow (singer of The Jesus Lizard) now calls Los Angeles his home! Good work Davey! The bummer that we keep hearing is that he’s been hanging out with Gavin from Bush! Now, not only does Gavin get to play hide the pickle in Gwen’s pink taco, but he gets to go drinking with DAVID YOW!!!! That bastard! David, you should be drinking whiskey with us instead of hanging out with that British export. Just cuz he tricked Steve Albini into recording his band once doesn’t mean he’s cool. Actually, we’ll hang out with both of you if Bush is buying drinks for everyone. If he throws down the card, it’s on. By the way, if you’re still a stupid kid, go buy The Jesus Lizard records “Goat”, “Liar”, “Head”, their live cd “Show”, and their singles and rarities cd, “Bang”.

Finch kicked out their drummer. We didn’t care enough to find out why. Oddly enough, people who buy Finch records also buy child pornography. We read that somewhere. Or maybe it’s people who put out Finch records…

Speaking of dork shit. The new Lord of the Rings made like a gazillion dollars in its first weekend. If you saw it, ask yourself “how much of a fucking loser am I? I just went and saw a movie about elves and dragons and wasted three hours of my life.”

The dude from The Kill’s with that wack spock haircut has been blasting loads up in that blonde tart from The Raveonettes. Meanwhile the girl from The Kills has jumped teams and is now cutting some rug with the singer of The Hells. By the way, The Hells used to have The Captain on drums for a while there, back when The Icarus Line fired him for being a pussy. We’re glad Captain’s back.

The MTV Real World house is at 4922 North Harbor DR San Diego. Someone better go down there with some tar and feathers. Or at least some eggs.

We ran into two members of that shitty Canadian pop punk band, Sum 41 (the drummer/rapper dude and the short little gay singer guy who nailed Paris Hilton), at the Beauty Bar a few Saturdays ago while Travis and Joe were Dj-ing. Yeah dude, we rub elbows with fucking famous people here in Lost Angeles… too bad not any cool ones. They looked lost and confused with the sounds of non Warped Tour affiliated bands playing, so we heckled them for a bit with Nofx and Blink 182 references. They didn’t laugh and pretended to call other famous people on their cell phones as a defense mechanism. We felt bad for the musically retarded millionaires for some reason, and actually tried to give them one of our LP’s of The Stooges “Funhouse” after they actually admitted to never hearing the album before (or even knowing it was an album) even though they just recorded a song with Iggy Pop. We told them that they embarrassed Iggy and that they should listen to some other music besides Green Day so they could grow as “artists”, so we offered them the gift, but they continued to refuse it, so Travis just ended up making strange animal noises at them until they left confused. You try to be nice…

Har Mar Superstar does however own “Funhouse”, not to mention tons of weird hip-hop and R& B records. Plus, not only does he live in L.A. now, but he lives in the same Apartment building Motley Crue used to call home (yeah the one right behind the Whiskey). Needless to say, he is slaying mad tang. He also did some amazingly funny tv commercials for Vladivar Vodka you can download here (we recommend the one not allowed on tv). Oh, and he told us to tell you he tested negative on his HIV test, which is awesome, and you should all go get tested too.

Michael Jackson likes to get his dick sucked by little boys. He’s going down. We’re gonna throw a party once that freak is behind bars. He got off once, but this is like if OJ killed another girl… you ain’t getting off twice dude, I don’t care how much money you got or whatever. This fruit is toast. Oh, and fuck all these famous people supporting him… IT’S WRONG TO SLEEP IN A BED WITH OTHER PEOPLES KIDS, TOUCHING THEM OR NOT… HE AIN’T IN THE JACKSON FIVE NO MORE AND HE AIN’T SINGING “ABC 123”. The dude is NAMBLA all over, and the “celebrities” getting all worked up over this wouldn’t let their kids stay over Michael Jackson’s house either… or maybe they would… depends on what kind of publicity they’d get.

Here’s some lame juicy emo gossip (the 14 year olds just got excited and now Michael Jackson just got excited too)… The real reason The Anniversary was kicked off the Vagrant roster is because when The Get Up Kids and The Anniversary were on tour in Japan, it came out that Adrianne (the keyboard girl in The Anniversary and who is/was married to the bass player from The Get Up Kids) and Justin (the singer dude in The Anniversary who pretends he likes Led Zeppelin) were having an affair. Yikes is right! Can you say emo love triangle?!

Not only did Carlos from Interpol steal Asif’s haircut (he manages Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Tv On The Radio and a million other bands) but he’s also a hardcore chubby chaser. Yeah he’s the guy who’s always “diving on the grenade” outta the bunch of em. Yeah dude, he’s pounding the pudgy pussy! At least the man has a passion… fuck, that’s more than most of you geeks can say.

The guys in The Black Sea have been smoking more reefer than Dead Meadow lately, and in the mist of the haze, they’ve gone and changed their name to Decahedron. We’re not sure what the fuck that means, but we’re gonna bet Shelby named it during a game of D& D. In case you’re in the dark on who the fuck The Black Sea is/was, it’s two guys from that band Frodus (you like Frodus? How about I throw this …) and the bass player dude from Fugazi. They already got an mp3 up you can hear.
http://theblacksea.cc/
http://www.decahedron.net/

Speaking of Fugazi, all good things must come to an end, and it seems that the long and crazy trip is finally over. Yep, they’ve finally called it quits. Ian has a new band with his girlfriend or wife or life partner or whatever she is. We heard his new lyrics are still all about coke and heroin and how he hates coming down… but we could be wrong.

Rick Rubin is making two records at once right now! Yeah, that’s how good of a “producer” he is!!! He doesn’t even have to be in the studio when they are recording! Wow is right! We can’t wait to be producers ourselves so that we can eat donuts, fart em out, grow beards, and talk to famous people on our two way pagers all day long too! Sounds like a great job! The International Noise Conspiracy and Weezer get to share Ricky at the present time. In their spare time, Dennis and the rest of INC like to hang out at the Beauty Bar to do fat rails of speed and pick up on dudes and chicks to take back to Rick Rubin’s mansion. They won’t let us hang out, but they invited Sam Velde to use him for his American style singing for backups on their record so they don’t sound quite so Swedish.

People just can’t mention The International Noise Conspiracy without throwing in Dennis’s old band, Refused in there somewhere. So here we go following the masses. Dennis is pissed about the Refused DVD that is about to come out. Kris Steen (the guitar player from Refused) was in LA a while ago for a few weeks interviewing people (one being Don Devore) for the digital video disc that will come out on Epitaph sometime later this year. Their last album, “The Shape Of Punk To Come” is also being re-released in a 5.1 mix with some bonus stuff. Hopefully it includes the last song Refused ever recorded, “Peek-A-Boo”. It’s got a good slayer riff, and even better lyrics about how Dennis is pissed cos he’s the only straight edge one left in the band.

Heckler ripped 400 Blows off for a show they put together, and still haven’t paid Aaron and Travis from like 5 years ago either. Somebody tell these bitches to pay up. Does anybody out there really wanna read about snowboarding and the Deftones at the same time anyway? Didn’t think so.
Email their dipshit editor at sam@heckler.com or samtoll@electircpage.com

If you’re in a band that tours in a bus, and you were wondering why it is now legal for the police to enter your bus without a search warrant to look for drugs, well… blame the dudes in Queens Of The Stoneage (but don’t say we said so cuz we don’t want our asses kicked by them, they’re huge dudes). Apparently the law had to be changed cos those dudes were smuggling half of Columbia underneath their bus all over the country. Thanks dudes!

Every record label in the world is trying to sign The Shins now that they are out of their contract with Sub Pop. More importantly, the keyboard player of The Shins has a mega hot girlfriend that was on “America’s Next Supermodel” or some shit. Check her out here.

Canyon is touring with and backing up Jay Farrar (x-uncle tupelo).

Dave Grohl is putting aside his modern day Wings band, the poo biters, so he can pretend he’s metal. He’s releasing a metal record with guest singers from 80’s bands on Southern Lord. Greg from Southern Lord is buying drinks next time we see him cuz you know that’s shit’s gonna sell!! BOOYAH!

Speaking of the Jim Carey of rock, Dave Grohl is also producing Rye Coalition’s major label debut that’ll come out on Dreamworks some day. Hopefully more people will care about this record than that Verbena record he did a few years back. The Captain likes to suck dicks with Rye Coalition.

Krist Novoselic, you know… the tall one in Nirvana, says he may run for lieutenant governor of Washington.

Jason Newsted got kicked out of Ozzy.

Rumor is that Chris Robinson is teaming up with the Deleo brothers (STP bass and guitar) and the former Black Crowes drummer to start a band. It’s gotta be better than that shit Slash and Scott Weiland are trying to pull over on people.

Clone Defects from Detroit broke up.

The Hot Snakes want to tour more, so they had to get a new drummer cos Jason is too busy with Burning Brides. Bummer.

Sofia Coppola filed for a divorce with Spike Jonze. Sofia says that with her new free time, she’s going to start a record label (just what the world needs) and that Giovanni Ribisi’s character in her last movie “Lost In Translation” was based on Spike Jonze. We say her whole career is based on her dads.

Rocket From The Crypt dressed up as The Villiage People for Halloween.

Photo credit: “Rulon”

Anyone who’s up for some shits and giggles might wanna check out the DVD video portion of the new “Misfits” record called “Project 1950″. It contains a video from a live show where Jerry Only, Dez Cadena and Marky Ramone toured as the “Misfits”. They play only old cover songs (Dion, Bobby Vee, etc.), done in the Misfits style — and the kicker is they’re playing at a snowboarding hill for a bunch of jocks who throw snowballs at them (to which Jerry says, with complete sincerity, “Hey, you guys are pretty cool”…for being so bad-ass?). Dez looks like a black metal guitarist with corpse paint. Marky, somehow, doesn’t have to wear make-up, and instead dons the signature Ramone look, and Jerry’s still flexing after all these years. It’s almost more Spinal Tap than The Tap itself.

The Bronx can’t stop getting into van accidents.

Those old dudes in Face To Face finally decided to hang it up. THANK FUCKING GOD! The drummer is in an equally wack band now, Saves The Day. Shit sticks together.

Speaking of Saves The Day, we hear dudes at their label are bummed cos they tried to be weird on this new record, and it didn’t sell like they thought it would. Weird huh? Still sounds like a kid who needs a diaper whining to us, what’s weird about that? We still think it’s funny that the dude has a weird bowel problem. If we were your friend we would have gotten you diapers for Christmas.

Todd from that band Glassjaw is now dating Mouseketeer Hillary Duff! HIT THAT SHIT TODD!!! Daryl from Glassjaw started a garage rock band cause he’s panicking that nu metal might not be the way to go. Pssshhht…. garage rock sucks too. Try again. We also heard the singer guy has a shitting problem too. The same as the Saves The Day guy. Glassjaw always has to cancel tours and shit, cause homeboy is on the toilet or something. It’s childish, we know, but it’s funny. We just realized that’s way too much Glassjaw news coming from a website run by two dudes who have never even heard this band before… but we heard they were lame, so whatever.

Blink 182 is gonna write a song about Glassjaw and Saves The Day’s shitting problems. It’s going to be serious though. Cause Blink is serious now.

We keep confusing the new Blink song with the new McDonald’s commercials, “I’m Lovin This” or whatever…

Someone tell Madonna she’s too old to try and dance like she does in that new video with Britney. Oh yeah, and someone tell Britney her voice sounds like PROTOOLS AUTO-TUNE.

Anyone wanna guess just how fucking dumb Liz Phair feels right about now? Her Matrix written, Avril Lavinge sounding pop album sold 50,000 less than her record “Whitechocolate”, and about 200,000 less than her records “Whip Smart” and “Exile in Guyville”. She needs to write more songs about blowjobs.

Starlite Desperation is slaying tang and mixing their new e.p. for Cold Sweat in nyc this week. The record is called ‘Violate A Sundae’. Their guitar player tried to kick Aaron’s ass for being gay once.

Yet another Spiritualized rarities album is coming out in a few months. Sweet tits.

Wu Tang is putting out a new record in 2004. This might actually be ok with ODB around now. I just realized how cool it is that these guys have the word TANG in their band name.

Cris Kirkwood from the Meat Puppets was shot Friday by a security guard at the downtown Phoenix post office. The dude should live, but it’s still fucked. According to witnesses, Kirkwood was fighting over a parking space. Cris was backing into the space when Jenny Hom, attempted to pull into it from behind. Hom honked her horn, then both drivers pulled into the parking lot. Hom said that Kirkwood, whom she did not identify by name, followed her and stopped her on the sidewalk outside the post office, yelling obscenities at her. “He shrugged his shoulder as if he was going to hit me,” she said. “He didn’t hit me.” But Hom went into the post office and reported the man’s behavior to a security guard. The guard escorted the man out. Kevin Killigrew of the FBI said that the aggressor shoved the guard twice. “[The guard] took out the baton and held it out in front of him and said, ‘You need to leave,’” Killigrew said. “The guy took the baton from him and struck him at least one time in the forehead at which time the guard felt fear for his life. He said, ‘I thought the guy was going to kill me.’ He already displayed that he would hurt him, and the guard shot him one time in the abdomen.” Shortly after the incident, the guard was sitting dazed on the steps of the post office. Kirkwood’s clothing sat in a pool of blood on the sidewalk. “I never shot anyone before,” the fake pig told Phoenix Police.

Sam McPheeters of Born Against, Men’s Recovery Project fame, has a brand new punk rock band called WRANGLER BRUTES. One of the drummers from Born Against, and homeboy from The Monorchid is in it too. Shitty part is, you can only get their record on tape. These dudes thought it would be “cute” and “punk” to do it that way. Mmmmmmmk. Retro.

Alex Newport finally pulled his head out of his ass and moved to L.A. from San Francisco. Alex is pretty cool for a limey turdburgler.

Sam Velde is getting married! Congratulations dude!

The infamous, Nardwuar the Human Serviette, is hitting the road for a west coast tour with his band The Evaporators. Make sure you go see this live extravagaza if you are able to. Check http://www.nardwuar.com and http://theevaporators.com/ for more info. Keep rockin’ in the free world, and have a good dinner.
Evaporators West Coast Tour Dates 2004
Jan 21- Twlight Café, Portland, OR (1420 SE Powell Blvd. ) w/ Ronson Family Switchblade, The Observers Info? http://www.twilightcafebar.com
Jan 23- Gilman, Berkeley, CA (924 Gilman ) w/ Harold Ray Live In Concert $5 Info? http://www.924gilman.org
Jan 24- The Smell, Los Angeles, CA (247 So. Main St. Downtown L.A. (between 2nd and 3rd St (enter in the back through alley.)) 9pm $5 ALL AGES w/ The Orphans, Harold Ray Live In Concert plus Nardwuar’s Video Vault! (see *Note) Info? http://www.thesmell.org
*Note: The above mentioned Sat Jan 24th date at the Smell will be a * very * special show. In addition to the evenings rawk, Nardwuar of the Evaportors is gunna show some video interviews he’s done over the years! Check out clips of Snoop Doggy Dogg, Mikhail Gorbachev, Michael Moore, Marilyn Manson, Henry Rollins, Blur, Ashanti, Kelly Rowland, Busta Rhymes, The Damned, GWAR, Vanilla Ice and lots more – all presented live to you via video projector on the big screen. No joke!!!
Jan 25- Spaceland, Silverlake, CA (1717 Silverlake Blvd) 9pm w/ The Orphans, Rolling Blackouts, Harold Ray Live In Concert Info? http://www.clubspaceland.com
Jan 27- The Casbah, San Diego, CA (2501 Kettner Blvd.) w/ Harold Ray Live In Concert Info? http://www.thecasbah.com
Jan 28- Thee Parkside, San Francisco , CA (1600 17th Street at Wisconsin Street) w/ Harold Ray Live In Concert Info? http://www.theeparkside.com
Jan 30- Java Jive, Tacoma WA (2102 South Tacoma Way) 9pm w/ Ronson Family Switchblade, Rockin’ Rod & the Strychnines
Jan 31- The Funhouse, Seattle (206 5th Ave) w/ The Fallouts, AAIIEE!!
Feb 14-The Brickyard, Vancouver, BC (315 Carrall Street ) w/ Los Furios, Riff Randells Info? http://fireballproductions.com
Feb 17-Mesa Luna, Vancouver, BC (1926 West Broadway) w/ Los Furios, Riff Randells 7pm doors ALL AGES Info? 604 669 6468

Oh, and The Icarus Line’s manager, Les Borsai (aka Chef Boy-am-I-gay) has done us all the favor of sharing one of his world famous recipes for a meal of our own enjoyment this festive holiday season. Here it is:

Filet Minion
Cooked in a mushroom shallot red wine sauce. Filet wrapped in bacon cooked at 350 for 30 minutes. Let mushrooms, wine, and shallots caramelize in oven for sauce.

Baked Carrots
Carrots Julienne baked cumin, sugar, thyme, butter, and white wine. Bake for 30 minutes.

Yellow Zucchini
Sauteed in Olive Oil with Garlic and Red Chilli Peppers for 20 minutes.

Drink two bottles of 99 cent red wine while Joe’s dog bites your leg, and we make fun of all the bands on Headbangers ball.

Chop out four big fat fucking lines of blow for dessert. (Don’t buy blow from Monica though)

Have The Icarus Line and Travis come over and eat the dinner, so you can take your mind off the fact that your girlfriend is getting fucked in Fiji by the janitor of the resort she’s staying at.

Also hot off the presses is Buddyhead #9, the LP version of Burning Brides “Fall Of The Plastic Empire”. Your only opportunity to get your hand on these limited slabs of wax, and possibly the seven inch as well, is at one of their shows on their upcoming tour with that Swedish band that doesn’t sound like My Bloody Valentine or Joy Division, Division Of Laura Lee. The Catheters are on the tour as well.

BURNING BRIDES W/ DIVISION OF LAURA LEE and THE CATHETERS
Wed 01/15/03 Brooklyn, NY South Paw
Thu 01/16/03 New York, NY Mercury Lounge
Fri 01/17/03 Washington, DC Black Cat
Sat 01/18/03 Cambridge, MA T.T. The Bear’s
Sun 01/19/03 Philadelphia, PA The Khyber
Mon 01/20/03 Montreal, QC Cabaret Music Hall
Wed 01/22/03 Toronto, ON Horseshoe Tavern
Thu 01/23/03 Detroit, MI Small’s
Fri 01/24/03 Chicago, IL Double Door
Sat 01/25/03 Minneapolis, MN 400 Bar
Sun 01/26/03 Lawrence, KS The Bottleneck
Mon 01/27/03 Boulder, CO Tulagi
Tue 01/28/03 Salt Lake City, UT X-Scape (Formerly DV8)
Thu 01/30/03 Vancouver, BC Richard’s On Richards
Fri 01/31/03 Portland, OR The Satyricon
Sat 02/01/03 Seattle, WA Crocodile Cafe
Mon 02/03/03 San Francisco, CA Bottom Of The Hill
Tue 02/04/03 Pomona, CA Glass House
Wed 02/05/03 West Hollywood, CA The Troubadour
Thu 02/06/03 San Diego, CA Brick By Brick

Anyone that happened to catch our friends the Burning Brides on Conan O’Brien last Thursday (January 2nd at 12:30 am on NBC) was treated to some of the best television in a long time.

Do you play keyboard? Your Enemies Friends have returned home from a U.S. tour with The Donnas, and a U.K. tour with Pretty Girls Make Graves. There are a couple of differences this time though, they don’t have a permanent keyboardist, and home isn’t in the same place. Your Enemies Friends figured out the rest of the country sucks and have moved back to Los Angeles. They are also on the hunt to fill the recently vacated keyboardist position. A special thanks goes out to J from Pretty Girls for filling in on the tour in England. So if you are talented in the synth/piano/organ field, live in LA or are willing to relocate, and are dedicated to being in a full time touring band, drop them a line. No weenies please. The band will be touring forever all over the world, and recording their debut album soon, and it won’t be a fuckin’ cakewalk. Serious inquiries only please. Email the band at your_enemies_friends@yahoo.com.

In other Your Enemies Friends news, on Monday January 13th (that’s not this Monday, it’s the next), Your Enemies Friends will be playing BBC sessions (before the BBC airs them) on Jeremy and Aaron Farley’s weekly drunken radio show. The show is on from 7-10pm, hit their website to listen. www.GTFUradio.com

ENTER THE BUDDYHEAD “WELCOME TO 2003 MOTHERFUCKERS!” GIVEAWAY CONTEST
Seeing as how it’s the holidays we figured we’d be nice for once and give some lucky Buddyhead readers a whole bunch of killer records. Basically, if you are the the lucky sonofabitch that wins, yer getting everything we’ve put out (minus a couple crappy 7 inches we did) as well as a bunch of clothes that say Buddyhead too. We’re hooking you up! Kids are going to go bonkers and start losing their minds and shit over the thought of wining this luscious prize. But please, don’t freak out! Stay calm because you probably aren’t gonna win it. All you have to do is send an email to buddyhead@buddyhead.com with “BUDDYHEAD 2003 CONTEST” in the subject to enter the contest. And… BOO YAH! We’ll pick the wiener, I mean winner, so don’t worry about that part. The winner will be shipped the following free of charge:
- 1 Burning Brides / The Icarus Line Split 7 inch
- 1 Burning Brides “Fall Of The Plastic Empire” LP
- 1 The Dillinger Escape Plan “Irony Is A Dead Scene” 12 inch e.p.
- 1 Radio Vago “Black & White Photo Enterprise” CD
- 1 Radio Vago “Black & White Photo Enterprise” LP
- 1 Your Enemies Friends “The Wiretap Ep” CD
- 1 Your Enemies Friends “The Wiretap Ep” LP
- 1 Shat “Best Of” CD
- 1 Ink & Dagger CD
- 1 Text CD
- 1 Buddyhead shirt of their choice
- 1 Buddyhead hat of their choice
- 1 Buddyhead Hooded Sweatshirt

So the “Black Flag” tribute band thingy happened a few weeks ago, and as suspected, Greg Ginn had no part in it. Chuck Dukowski’s involvement was limited to him singing a song, not playing bass, and the rest was just the dudes in Rollins band hacking up classic Black Flag songs. The bass player fucked up the whole first verse of “Depression” when he forgot the notes to play. Total King Crimson type shit going on in the changes on that song though… NOT. Keith Morris was the highlight and kicked maximum ass on his songs. Thumbs up to Keith Morris. It still was hard to get over the guitar and bass players weak ass tones and approach. If you’re playing Black Fucking Flag songs, how bout turning some of those knobs on the amp to the right a lil more and not sounding like you borrowed Warrant’s backline for the gig? But it was all for a good cause, so we’ll try not to be as critical. Thank god they at least didn’t play “TV Party”. Oh and seeing as how this is for a good cause, if you can afford to, buy the album. Actually buy all the Black Flag records while you’re at it too cuz Greg Ginn needs the loot for more weed, and we know most of you don’t own those yet anyway. Pussies.

For better or worse Rama threw a big holiday boozefest bash in the name of BWR. They got so drunk they posted all the photos of themselves on the internet. Click here to look a bunch of weird lucky kids. We’re pretty sure some of em owe us money too…
http://www.bigwheelrec.com/winter

If you’re pissed about having to look at a Glassjaw banner on Buddyhead, call the singer of the band, Daryl Palumbo, to tell him about it. His cell phone number is (516) 532-6739 and he told us that he totally doesn’t mind what time you call, cuz he’s always down to chat with his fans. Leave him a nice long voicemail and if he doesn’t reply to you expediently, be certain to e-hit him up at godzillagodzilla@aol.com. Tell him how stoked you are that his band and the Used are on the same label, have the same A&R guy and management team, and now that The Used are blowing up, Glassjaw are bound to see some trickle down success as well! Tell him congratulations for us!

The singer of Glassjaw, is also slated to appear on the upcoming Liars Academy full-length record out on Equal Vision. According to industry insiders, Palumbo begged and pleaded to be a part of the recording due to his complete affinity for and identification with the bands name.

Speaking of that mall punk band from Utah… The Used just recorded a Christmas song. As if recording a Christmas song wasn’t reason enough for castration they got the singers girlfriend to sing on it. Stellar. Santa’s going to fucking stab you pussies. Oh and in case you didn’t hear us the first time THESE GUYS ARE POSERS! Click here to listen to this crap.

The singer of The Strokes just inked a 2 million dollar tv commercial deal with OXY. Zap em dude.

Speaking of cash, LA’s “Dirty Little Secret”, is getting money thrown at them left and right by major labels. And they just so happen to be playing tonight too, (1.08.03 silverlake ca spaceland w/ the rattlesnakes), so come out and see all the major label goons swarming like flies on shit. http://dirtylittlesecret.biz/.

The Von Datsun 4 will be touring America real soon. Make sure you go see those dudes play.

One of our favorite websites, epitonic.com, is going under. Somebody rich needs to kick them down some cash so they can keep their doors open. Someone call The Osbournes.

Bro-Core… uh… Sno-Core Tour, a tour where every day is white-boy day, is sorta set for this year and the lineup is totally fucking dope!!! Of course we’re fucking lying, the lineup sucks, bad. If the choice is between stapling your dick to a burning building or going to this bullshit, we’d say burnt hot dog might be the choice. Sparta, Glassjaw, Hot Water Music, and Hot Hot Heat are all on tap to rape your faith in music. Enjoy.
February 14th Austin, TX – La Zona Rosa
February 15th Dallas, TX – Gypsy Ball Room
February 17th Phoenix, AZ – Nita’s Hideaway
February 18th San Diego, CA – Soma
February 19th Las Vegas, NV – Huntridge
February 20th Los Angeles, CA – Mayan
February 25th Portland, OR – Roseland
February 26th Seattle, WA – Showbox
February 27th Vancouver, BC – Commodore Ballroom
March 01st Salt Lake City, UT – Bricks
March 02nd Denver, CO – Ogden Theater
March 05th Columbia, MO – The Blue Note
March 08th Minneapolis, MN – The Quest
March 09th Milwaukee, WI – The Rave
March 12th Cincinnati, OH – Bogarts
March 13th Columbus, OH – Newport Music Hall
March 14th Cleveland, OH – Odeon
March 15th Detroit, MI – State Theater
March 17th Toronto, ON – Phoenix Concert Hall
March 19th Worcester, MA – The Palladium
March 21st New York, NY – Roseland
March 22nd Philadelphia, PA – Electric Factory
March 23rd Washington, DC – 930 Club

These Arms Are Snakes are the new Botch / Kill Sadie off shoot band. They have a site. www.thesearmsaresnakes.com They seriously list what equipment they use, including the singer.

Epitaph are thinking of signing Roy, which features members of Botch (we talked about before if you’ve been paying attention at all). They sound like Nirvana, if Nirvana were a little more into dong that is. Two of the members of Roy have straight edge tattoos. Aaron’s jealous.

Speaking of new bands, our buddy Dimitri formerly of the Dillinger Escape Plan has a new band brewing. Details are sketchy, but expect his band to debut sometime around SXSW time, and it sorta sounds like a heavy Swiz. We’ll keep you posted.

Speaking of the Dillinger Escape Plan, They’ll be rocking a party type thing in New York City during the weekend of January 23rd-25th. 3 nights at a club called Tribeca which is a really small place so get there early. Other bands scheduled to play over the three nights are Dalek, Vaz, City of Caterpillar, Merciana, and more TBA. Don’t miss Vaz cuz they are totally awesome. They used to be from LA, so don’t let them scare you away when they say they live in New York.
January 19th Philadelphia, PA @ the Trocadero w./ High on Fire
The Dillinger Escape Plan w./ Dalek, Vaz, City of Caterpillar, & more
January 23 New York City, NY @Tribeca
January 24 New York City, NY @ Tribeca/
January 25 New York City, NY @ Tribeca

Fred Durst has been rubbing his sweaty little porker hands all over Alyssa Milano’s midget body lately. Yep, the two are dating, and the best part is Justin Timberlake (that chicks other boyfriend) doesn’t know yet. Bummer dude. We sure hope these dudes don’t get in a serious fistfight over this because it’ll be like watching two Downs Syndrome kids in straight jackets arguing over who gets to control the remote during Springer.

The parties at Frankie’s place in Seattle every Friday and Saturday are the best place for 17-year-old girls to take advantage of washed up rock stars. Check it out ladies.

Chris Traynor (ex-Orange 9mm / Helmet) has left his spot in Bush to join Rival Schools and fill Ian Love’s shoes. He’s saying goodbye to Bush in more ways than one.

Meanwhile Ian Love is tripping balls. Not only has he quit Rival Schools so that he could dedicate more time to a band called Cardia with some guy from The Verve Pipe, but he’s also starring as one of the lead roles in “Cats” on Broadway. Weird right?

Dashboard Confessional told Jimmy Iovene that he’ll write as many songs as it takes for Jimmy to hear “the song”. We’re thinking a record with 45 minutes of silence culminating with the sound of a chainsaw and a little pansy ass Floridian screaming. Let’s hope they find a cure for whatever it is Chris Carraba has that makes him such a knob, before the new Dashboard Confessional record comes out. White noise.

Those kids who really like NOFX, Punknews.org, are giving away some Radio Vago cd’s. Click here to enter the contest.

That a-sexual new wave hairspray band, Ladytron, figured that after two records and a ton of money in promotion from the Getty family (the richest family in LA happens to own their label) that they’d go on tour for the first time. Weeeeeee… being in a band is fun!

Playing Enemy haven’t released a new record in two years, and the world at large doesn’t really give a shit. But for those of you who do, there will be an e.p. out on Escape Artist this winter. Demian from Playing Enemy delivers pizza, and he wants his books back from Travis really bad but Travis is too lazy to send em back so he’s just gonna have to fucking wait. Demian also said The Icarus Line have to come back to Seattle and this time leave the aviator glasses back in 2001.

Playing Enemy’s roadie got Playing Enemy kicked out of a town by fucking a 16 year old who was on her period. Her mom was not too stoked when she walked in on the blood and semen festival.

RCA is trying to pass off this jokey “heavy metal parking lot” pop band, Damone, off as a real band. But the funny part is no one cares about them in this country so they’re sending them to china first. That oughta be a killer tour guys, let us know what China is like.

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne renewed their wedding vows at the Beverly Hills Hotel on New Year’s Eve. The couple got married on July 4, 1982, but delayed their 20th anniversary because of Sharon Osbourne’s battle with colon cancer. Our sympathy goes out to their family.

The Vines got kicked off of the Conan show for breaking all their gear DURING SOUNDCHECK. At least the Trail of Dads figured out that you break shit during the show, not before.

Call Todd Kelly from KIIS Fm Los Angeles at 818.848.0066 and tell him he’s a boner.

Someone told us there is a band in Florida (wouldn’t you guess) called Rights Of Spring. If that’s true, you guys can’t do that. Guy will be pissed if he finds out.

The singer of Thursday blacks out after their performances, like every night. He apparently can’t even drive a car anymore. We’re hoping that it’ll get so bad that he can’t sing anymore. You know they’re gonna have to pump all that semen out of his stomach real soon just like they did to Bon Jovi.

Call Tucker from Thursday at (908) 399-8487 and tell him how stoked you are on At The Drive-In too.

After breaking free from Universal, Courtney Love said that she thinks she’s gonna sign to Poptones, and will release an (in her words) “incredible, incredible” comeback single. Hey Courtney, we’ve got a better idea, we’ll let you be on our label if you take Shat on tour. You and Jeff will get along just fine.

If you live in Los Angeles and like good rock shows, Bluebird is playing the Knitting Factory on January 17th with Black Cat Music, and The Fallen. As if that wasn’t enough for you, our very own (and world famous) DJ Travis Keller of Buddyhead.com will be playing the most annoying and abrasive records to bum everyone out. Don’t miss this one kids, it’ll be one of those nights your kids ask you about. Not.

Is somebody at Columbia gonna send us 2 copies of the new live Bob Dylan record or what? Oh, and throw in a few of those Primal Scream records with the dvd’s in it. Please, please with sugar and our balls in your mouth?

Feeling lucky? Try your skills at differentiating pubic or facial hair here.

FINALLY, A REPORT FROM THE ROAD:
So Tom and Aaron finally took a break from blowing loads of semen on each other’s chests and sent Travis some updates on what’s been happening on The Dillinger Escape Plan / Icarus Line / Shat WORLD TOUR as it continues to blaze a trail of destruction and gayness across the European continent.

So far, the rock n’ roll sensation that is Shat has blown audience’s minds in Italy, Germany, Austria, England, and Ireland. The German music press has already declared Jeff Wood of Shat “the new and improved David Hasselhoff”. Women are flocking to witness the sexual spectacle that is Shat live, undressing and losing all erotic inhibitions. Sales of Shat merchandise at shows far eclipses that of the other two bands, and it’s obvious who will be opening for whom the next time around. As the Euro-land portion of the tour winds down, word of Jeff Wood being the new Elvis is spreading like wildfire… and the conquering of America isn’t far behind either. Just in case the kids at home were wondering, here’s a behind the scenes look at the only tour that matters right now. In no particular order here’s what has happened, and what is going on:

Neil is our “boose driver”. He’s like the love child of The Swedish Chef and Beeker. Basically we can’t understand a fucking word the dude is saying. He’s English so he also doesn’t understand the concept of air conditioning. We’re fucking Americans, if we don’t have air conditioning we melt. “Turn that shit on Neil!”

Euro money is dumb. Real dumb.

Euro computers are like American computers with down syndrome.

The Germans and Swiss still hate us for WW2, so they get all Reich-ish every now and again. Tom and Troy Boy (The Icarus Line’s Drummer) got lost in Germany due to the fucked up directions some Germans gave them. While getting lost they witnessed a homeless dude punch his homeless girlfriend in the face, it was ill. Ill in a bad way. Germans like hookers a lot too. Oh and don’t let us forget about the fucking Swiss, first off, a fucking soda is like 10 dollars or Swiss or whatever their fucking money is called… like they didn’t rob enough money from the Jews back in ‘44. Secondly, what’s with this wanting to be German shit? Like who the fuck would want to be German? Get an identity you nazi harboring, hot chocolate loving, yodeling cumbuckets. Fuck Sweden.

Monica our merch person, she gets naked… like a lot. Actually, every night. Stupid foreign hardcore, punk, and metal mountaineers stand around the merch booth with bulging boners for the duration of the show. Oh yeah, she’s going to shit on Jeff too. On video. Jeff said he’s going to blow her shit. This whole being in Germany thing has got Jeff all fucking weird and Dutch like. It’s even grossing us out. PLOP!

Aaron’s feet smell like the rotting feces of a thousand dead people. There’s a reason he’s called the Corpse. (Or as the Germans were calling him, “Das Korpse”) He’s currently stinking up the bus and thinking about the English cock that will invade his mouth all week with the frequency that British Airways lands airplanes at Heathrow Airport. The kid has issues. Can someone please bring him some foot spray or a new pair of man shoes to one of the shows? We beg you.

We catch Benoit (he plays guitar for the Dillinger Escape Plan) jerking off in the mirror flexing all the time. It’s weird, but what’s weirder is that we’ve been catching Alvin (he plays guitar for The Icarus Line) jerking off to watching Benoit jerking off. Yeah it’s pretty much weirdoville on this bus.

It’s impossible to get gash in a bus full of 15 dudes who smell like shit. It’s pretty disheartening.

Jeff Wood got mugged in France. France didn’t get the memo. Jeff has been sticking to his “all girls are mint” theory by inviting any girl off the street into the bus. We just had to kick a homeless, smelly, disease infected, crack whore off the bus… again. It’s getting stupid kids.

Greg (new singer guy for Dillinger) and Monica like Andrew WK a whole lot, like they stay up into the wee hours listening to that sweaty guy sing about partying and… partying. Then Greg lifts weights and poops into bags and Monica sticks apples into her pussy while smoking crack. Jeff Wood then eats the apples. The fucked up part is this is all true. Believe it.

Once we get home, Greg is scheduled to be in a new artsy black and white gap ad. They want him to slowly smear shit over their nice crisp frat-boy white t-shirts.

Tom is mourning his departure from the steak restaurant business by throwing a bitch fit upon arrival at every club. He storms backstage, flips the deli trays and whatever other food is on the rider all over the room, and screams that, “None of this shit is half as good as the steaks I make back home!” He also misses his purple car so much, we caught him trying to spray paint the bus purple on multiple occasions. Neil has to wrestle the spray paint can away from him every time while Tom cries, “But I used to pick up so many bomb dudes in it… I NEED IT BACK!”

Chris (the drummer for Dillinger) wears the same shirt EVERY DAY, and he looks like Powder. You know… the movie.

Ben (he plays guitar for Dillinger) chipped his teeth during a freak dick sucking accident. He needs emergency dental surgery and he’s broke so send money. Lots of money.

Troy Boy (The new drummer for The Icarus Line) likes flowers, dicks, and disco. And he’s a super hippy. Peace grease.

Liam (Dillinger’s bass player) has read four whole coloring books on tour. He’s polished off Humpty Dumpty, The Berenstein Bears, Green Eggs and Ham, and “the Vegan Guide to Gay Europe: 30 days, 30 dicks”. He’s smart.

These people never… ever, ever, ever shower: Aaron Icarus, Ben Weinman, Mike Watkatijys, Lance ..uh.. what’s Lance’s last name?, Joe Cardohomo. They smell, be warned. That is all.

Every night during Dillinger’s set, Greg asks which members of the crowd came to see The Icarus Line and then he spits in their face. In Ireland, he spit on some girl, and then after the set she fully pinned his ass to the ground and made him lick her shoes. No shit.

Mike the sound guy got fucking wasted in Munich, then he walked around wanting to be Jim Morrison with his shirt off babbling about Jesus and the smell of German women over 60. It was ill. Then he tried to be Mike Patton and pissed in a dryer and broke a bunch of shit. One of the things he broke was a statue that probably cost THOUSANDS. He was manic, telling dudes that they should get the fuck out of his way, because “we won the war”. Mike is hard cause he does sound for Sick of It All and is like an “honorary Alley Way Crew Member”.

We all had to play the Reading and Leeds festivals, and they were interesting. Shat played too… in the parking lot. 2,000 kids stayed outside to witness Shat while The Offspring played inside. The Offspring, and like 4,547 other bands, sucked really bad. The Offspring are old… real old. They sang songs about being white dudes and riding surfboards. All weekend that dweeb Dexter was wearing a Baja shirt and a fucking bucket hat. DUDE, YOU’RE A FUCKING WHITE BOY. The singer from Incubus had to take his shirt off when his doofus tour manager gave him “the sign”, it was fucking pathetic. Then we saw the trailer park explosion that is Slipknot. God, we can write about this one for a while… First off, there was like hundreds of them, we had no idea who was in the band, they all looked like an incest experiment gone metal, except for the 4 foot goth drummer with no eyebrows (dude the no eyebrows thing makes you always look surprised like as if someone farted). Oh yeah, and the DJ dipshit wore a fucking cop light baseball hat all Waldo style. Those guys are fucking stupid, real stupid. Iowa stupid. Those kids in Pretty Girls Makes Graves tried to gang rape Aaron backstage, but he got away. Tom thinks that Guns N Roses slayed at Leeds, and then sucked on MTV. The Hives played the same set they’ve been playing for 3 years, and wore the uniforms they’ve been wearing for the last year and a half while a certain un-named other band from Los Angeles has been wearing a similar uniform for the last 4 years. Hmmmmmmm.

Then we had to watch the sham out that is the MTV awards backstage before a show somewhere in Germany. That wannabe Nirvana cover band, the Vines, played right after the Hives, a double shot of suck for all the dipshits believing this rock revival bullshit. First the Hives led off the sonic suckfest with a bunch of howling and blah blah… whatever, it was stupid. Then the Vines…jesus…YOUR ALBUM HAS FUCKING SKA SONGS ON IT… STOP TRYING TO BREAK SHIT! SKA BANDS DON’T BREAK SHIT. Just sit there, shut the fuck up, and be the #1 Cobain fanboys you are. You’re not eccentric, and you’re not exciting… the only thing weird about you is that you’re from Australia and that makes you automatically weird cause you probably have fucked kangaroos and koalas. Dipshits. Jimmy Fallon was possibly worse.

Then we went to the Kerrang awards in London, and they were a sham out too. Buddyhead was in the house to witness Offspring live, the singer of Amen cry about being dropped, and Puddle Of Mud win an award for… shit, we can’t remember, but the fact that they won an award for anything besides “Assclowns of the year” is uncomprehendable. Sum 41 won the award for “Best new Assclowns of the year” or something. Hundred Reasons proudly took home the award for “Best At the Drive-In clone Assclowns”. Of course The Icarus Line didn’t win the award for “Best Independent Band of the Year” or whatever it’s called they were nominated for, even though they were the only real independent band up for the award. It’s all good, we all got to meet Tony Iommi anyway and break stuff.

So yeah… that’s a brief rundown of our European vacation… putting the Griswolds to shame. We’ll have another update for ya soon if everybody can fly home without hitting buildings and stuff.

TOUR DATES FOR THE ICARUS LINE AND DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN FALL 2002 US TOUR
So here are the real dates for the final leg of The Dillinger Escape Plan & The Icarus Line World Tour. Sorry for any errors in the pervious updates but we at Buddyhead don’t book the shows, nor do we type out the dates. SO SUCK OUR FUCKING LIZARD. But if the name of your shitty town was misspelled or something, we’ll rub your crotch when we come through town. Don’t miss this show.
Tue Sep 24 Worchester, MA Palladium
Wed Sep 25 New York, NY The Knitting Factory
Thu Sep 26 Philadelphia, PA The Trocodero
Fri Sep 27 Washington,DC 9:30 Club
Mon Sep 30 Winstom-Salem, NC Ziggy’s
Fri Oct 04 Los Angeles, CA The Roxy
Sat Oct 05 Las Vegas, NV The Castle
Mon Oct 07 San Francisco, CA The Pound
Tue Oct 08 Portland, OR Roseland
Wed Oct 09 Seattle, WA Showbox
Fri Oct 11 Boise,ID 6th and Main
Sun Oct 13 Denver, CO Bluebird Theatre
Tue Oct 15 Kansas City, MO El Torreon

DON’T BLOW IT, ADVERTISE ON BUDDYHEAD!
If you have money and want to advertise on Buddyhead, email our new ad girl at bhads@buddyhead.com. Yes this does cost money and no we don’t trade banners, fuck off. That means if you work at a record label you should be telling your new media peeps to hook up some motherfuckin banner ads on our site. Don’t fuck this up! We will sell you thousands of stuffs.

Snapcase keeps telling people that their new record is “weird and dark”. Dude, you guys are fucking playing mosh metal for date raping college pussies with white sport hats. NOTHING you do is dark or weird, other than the fact that you live in Buffalo and you have a fucking kid toucher with a beard playing guitar.

Rivers Cuomo is still in party mode. Lately he’s been playing poker with “industry bigwigs” and taking all their dirty money.

The Donnas all have crushes on The Strokes, but won’t do shit about it cos they’re all weenies. Don’t believe that “40 boys in 40 nights” bullshit those chicks try to peddle. It’s more like, “40 books read before their 9:30 bedtime in 40 nights”. Troy Boy is pretty sure the drummer Donna is in love with him.

Wanna call that douche bag of a dipshit, Ryan Seacrest, from Star 98.7 and American Idol? Hit that fruitcake up at 310-360-1676 and let him know he’s uber-wack and that Buddyhead is for the children.

Slipknot took off their masks to show the world what inbred Midwest speedmetal hicks look like. Put those fucking masks back on! PLEASE!

Click here for the new Guns N’ Roses video.

BUDDYHEAD ON POWER 105.9 FM THIS SUNDAY NIGHT IN LOS ANGELES
On September 15th, Travis will be on the Mass Distortion show, Sunday night on Power 106 (105.9 ) from 10pm-12pm. The host, Cminus, and Travis will be shooting the shit and playing music. They’ll be taking calls too, so give em a shout.

BUDDYHEAD ON THE RADIO IN SAN DIEGO CALIFORNIA THIS MONDAY
On September 16th (this Monday night), from 10pm-Midnight, Travis from Buddyhead will be a guest on Scott Rigg’s Show on 92/1 Premium Radio, KFSD-FM (that’s a San Diego station). Tune in and listen as we will turn up the suck. Give us a call to request some music or just talk some shit. We’ll be taking calls.
Web site: www.independent.fm.
PH #:760.745.9292
AOL IM: coup921

Every two bit garage band from Australia & New Zealand is gravitating to the UK so they can get lauded as the new saviors of rock by shitty weekly magazines. Did we miss the meeting where everyone found out garage rock was cool?

Ink and dagger got mentioned in Rolling Stone by that shitty emo band Thursday. HEY THURSDAY, UNLESS YOU GUYS TURN DOWN THE SUCK, YOU ARE BANNED FROM TALKING ABOUT GOOD BANDS IN FASHION MAGAZINES LIKE ROLLING STONE! GOT IT? Don’t make us send Jeff Wood after you…

The chick from Kittie is the Gary Coleman of metal. Their dad is robbing them blind. Hey, when you guys turn 21, give us some of your money if you have any left over.

We just can’t keep our mouths shut about this one… The singer of New Found Glory has been struggling for years to disassociate himself from his father, Quintin Tarantino.

That band, Ok Go, who Capitol are trying to sell as a “rock band” totally suck a hairy nutsack. Don’t be fooled kids. First off you guys used pastel colors for your layout. THAT IS LAME! And Second, YOU GUYS ARE A SKA BAND!

Bluebird’s new album “Hot Blood” will be in stores October 22nd on Dim Mak. It’s a rocker and the artwork is made up of enlarged photos of the band members blood (blood’s cool), buy it. Oh and Steve Dim Mak knows how to party. http://www.bluebirdsounds.com/

Coheed And Cambria is determined to bring rasta emo to the masses. Someone better stop them before they get 5 billion dollars for playing their audio diarrhea.

The Juliana Theory still sucks.

Har Mar Superstar (Jessica Hopper’s boyfriend and Ron Jeremy look a like), got signed to some new record label with tons of cash to throw around (it’s owned by Hurley Clothing). He’s already been spotted hanging out with Ozzy’s chunky monkey of a daughter at the VMAS.. The word on the street is that he’s gonna write some songs for her record. We’re still sticking to our guns, unless someone figures out how to put Eddie Murphy’s “RAW” to music, we don’t want any funny with our rock. Thanks but no thanks.

Epitaph is somehow getting cooler. First Dillinger Escape Plan and now they just signed the greatest band in the world, TURBONEGRO. Ok, fess up! Who’s telling them what’s cool? Kids, if you haven’t heard them, hit their website now! We command you. Don’t think for a second that this even comes close to making us forget that Pully is on your label too guys.

Fuck The Used.

The “Guilty By Association Tour” featuring Dillinger Escape Plan, Dillinger 4, and The D4, will hit the road this December for a full U.S. tour.

Nick’s (from Queens Of The Stoneage) side project (and fake Black Flag band) Mondo Generator got signed to Ipecac. We heard it’s kinda rad. Someone get us a cd of that shit.

The singer of Jugheads Revenge likes it when girls put on strap on dildos and butt hump him silly. Seriously. I mean, come on… we couldn’t make up shit that fucked. In other Jugheads Revenge news, nobody cares about their Nofx cover band… still.

Neurosis shaved their beards. Now nobody likes them anymore.

On October 15th, Jets To Brazil, will be dropping a healthy slab of Emo in the form of their third studio album. It’s gonna be called, “Perfecting Loneliness”. Alvin already has a boner.

Rocket From The Crypt have a new album called “Live From Camp X-Ray” coming out on Emotaph on Oct. 22nd. No it’s not live. We heard it’s 10 songs in 22 minutes and there are “less horns. Sounds killer. John Reis is the coolest.

Travis wants to make sure when he dies, that he gets a Motor Cycle Funeral. Click here for their web page. What better way to leave this world than with your friends hauling ass down the open highway while you lie at peace in a sidecar? Now that’s rock n’ roll.

Nofx nearly lost their lives at the Gig On the Green festival in Scotland. An argument between a member of the band and a member of a local biker gang over whether or not the gang member could have a free t-shirt, escalated into the biker dude and his gang vowing to, “not let Nofx out of here alive”. The gang fucked with the band on stage and even pulled the power on them at one point. Nofx needed a police escort to their bus, and then quickly left town, barely escaping the biker dudes.

Thrice still suck. No more shorts on stage guys…. How many times do we have to tell you?

In Gay-Edge news, Gayrilla Biscuits is gearing up to record their debut full length album this fall. Start saving your lunch money you little bastards.

Drowning Pool is currently in the planning stages of finding a new singer by holding open auditions at Guitar Centers across the country. Word on the street is that the competition is just a publicity stunt, and the group has already chosen their new singer, Simon Brody, formerly of Drowning man.

Click here for Dave Grohl’s full take on the Kerrang Awards (he mentions The Icarus Line). Here’s the good stuff if you don’t feel like clicking.
“Oh, the Kerrang awards……what can I say? Lots of booze, lots of “boos” (whenever someone mentioned Nickelback, which bummed me out a little. Give em a break! They’re Canadian fer chrissakes!!). Saw some friends, made some new ones. Did you know that Bruce Dickenson from Iron Maiden is a pilot now? Yup. He’s pretty cool. Zoe Ball gave me a bottle of Absynthe and a sweet smile. Tony Iommi was his usual cool self. Perfect gentleman, like a Count, or a King. Rad. The Icarus Line boys were in fine form. Gotta love ‘em. I had my Mom and girl in tow, so I didn’t stay long. Headed back to the hotel bar and spent the rest of the night wondering why we got the Hall of Fame award.” HEY DAVE, NOT ONLY ARE NICKELBACK FROM CANADA BUT THEY FUCKING SUCK… IT’S OK TO BOO THEM. TRUST US.

Gideon Yago from MTV News (and Christmas Vacation fame) wants you to register to vote. Click here. The Gidster said “All you have to do is fill out the questionnaire, print it out, tack a stamp on and … like that … you’re a registered voter.” Sounds like a blast! Right kids? If beating your meat is more your style, you can always just masturbate for peace. http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/

Nick Nolte got busted for looking too much like Gary Busey. The pigs are always fucking with us longhairs…

THE MARS VOLTA ARE GOING ON A SHORT WEST COAST TOUR
Yep, The Mars Volta are going on tour at least once before they break up. All you shit-head fan dorks who live on the wrong coast might wanna fly out for these in case these dudes decide to break up and start another dub band. Don’t miss this one, you’ll regret it. We promise.
Mon Sept 30 Chico Brickworks
Tue Oct 1 San Luis Obispo SLO Brew
Wed Oct 2 Santa Barbara The Living Room
Thur Oct 3 San Diego The Scene w/blonde redhead
Sat Oct 5 Oak Canyon Ranch This Aint no Picnic
Sun Oct 6 Orangevale The Boardwalk
Mon Oct 7 San Francisco Bottom of the Hill

Ok, this is big news. Axl has been replaced. The new band that’s not called Guns N’ Roses, but features Izzy, Duff, Slash, and that dipshit singer guy with the new tattoos and bad hair from Buckcherry got signed to Dreamworks. Nothing is sacred it seems.

Everyone famous is getting their own Osbourne’s type TV reality show. Stay tuned for some boring fucking television.

Fred Durst has been begging the dude who quit with the face paint junk to come back and write some songs for him. In the meantime, the tubster has been tried to learn how to play guitar. This oughta be good.

The dude in Korn that looks like a kid toucher is getting weirder. Which one is right! We don’t know, but he’s in the band and he’s opening a museum dedicated to serial killers in L.A. It’s going to feature clown suits worn by killer/pedophile John Wayne Gacey. We’re staying away from this place, but Aaron’s way psyched cause he’s a cape-wearing goth and likes little boys.

Fuck Moby.

The new Hot Snakes album “Suicide Invoice” is REDFUCKINGHOT. Aaron stopped listening to System Of A Down even to listen to it. The album comes out on Swami Records 6.18.02. Attention major label a&r douches, this band is better than every band on your label. Unless your label has Tool on it.

Ringo houses Charlie Watts.

The White Stripes are playing the MTV Movie Awards with Ja Rule and Kelly Osbourne on the day rent is due. But we’re not going. You’d think seeing as how we know Gideon Yago, we could get in. But it seems “knowing Gideon Yago” gets you dick around those parts. If anyone with some clout wants to hang out with us and get us in, let us know. The White Stripes are also in the middle of recording their 4th LP, which rumor has it is an autobiographical album titled “Retard Incest Love”.

Rama Mayo is in Hawaii. If you live on the Island of Oahu and you want to party with Travis’s roommate, email him at rama@bigwheelrec.com and let him know you are gonna buy him some alcohol, women, and drugs.

Rivers Cuomo and Chris Carrabba are going on a hunt to find the “perfect 11 year old”, The two emo stalkers with shitty back up bands in hand will be hitting the U.S. for a month long run of crying four eyed dorks and soiled asian panties. Oh, and to make this traveling nightmare even worse, the Kennedy Family of rock, The Strokes have committed to performing on some dates. Sparta looks like they’ll be jumping on some dates too. Check out the new Sparta full length that’s gonna come out soon called “Wiretap Scars”. That title kinda sounds familiar guys.
July 06th West Valley, UT – E Center
July 07th Morrison, CO – Red Rocks Amphitheatre
July 09th St. Paul, MN – Xcel Energy Center
July 11th Tinley Park, IL – Tweeter Center
July 12th Clarkston, MI – DTE Energy Music Theatre
July 14th Toronto, ON – Molson Amphitheatre
July 15th Cuyahoga Falls, OH – Blossom Music Center
July 17th Noblesville, IN – Verizon Wireless Music Center
July 18th Columbus, OH – Polaris Amphitheater
July 20th Hartford, CT – ctnow.com Meadows Music
July 21st Mansfield, MA – Tweeter Center
July 22nd Wantagh, NY – Tommy Hilfiger at Jones Beach Th.
July 23rd Holmdel, NJ – P.N.C. Bank Arts Center
July 26th Camden, NJ – Tweeter Center At The Waterfront
July 27th Columbia, MD – Merriweather Post
July 29th Atlanta, GA – HiFi Buys Amphitheatre
July 30th Nashville, TN – TBA
August 01st The Woodlands, TX – C.W. Mitchell Pavilion
August 02nd Dallas, TX – Smirnoff Music Centre
August 04th Selma, TX – Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
August 07th Phoenix, AZ – TBA
August 09th Irvine, CA – Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
August 10th Chula Vista, CA – Coors Amphitheatreh West Valley, UT – E Center
July 07th Morrison, CO – Red Rocks Amphitheatre
July 09th St. Paul, MN – Amphitheatre
August 10th Chula Vista, CA – Coors Amphitheatre

Brian Warner thinks his name is Axl. He kicked Twiggy out of Marilyn Manson cuz Brian was pissed he was more into Djing shitty glam rock at The Standard than writing “Beautiful People” again. Brian is gonna finish up the new Manson record with some dude from KMFDM. Let’s hope he doesn’t wear a chicken bucket. It’s gonna be called, The Golden Age of Grotesque.

Aaron Icarus will now and forever be know as “The Wizard Of Brahs”. It’s kind of like when Prince changed his named to that symbol. Cept no one really cares.

Thursday put out this statement whining about Victory Records on their website. We think they should both shut the fuck up and quit everything and give us all their fucking money so we can throw BBQ’s everyday. And if we had enough money we’d really like to buy a hot tub. That would make the party killer. Rama told us if emo gets big he’ll buy a hot tub. We’d post the statement, but we’re too lazy.

Fuck Incubus.

Shawn Lopez from Flawless Records house band the Revolution Smile s dating Jeff Wood’s married girlfriend. Shawn…listen up, Jeff is pretty pissed at you man. Basically, if Jeff doesn’t kill you… Well, let’s put it this way, that Shat song called “CRABS” isn’t a joke.

On the less personal side of Revolution Smile, Fred Durst directed their first video. That must have went a little like “Ok guys…. All of you need to bend over now!”

If you live in the U.K., call this number 44 2083 461 298, it’s Fred Durst’s “personal assistant”, Adam. Ask Adam if he can connect you with the International Pie Eating Champion.

Don’t cut your hair.

Courtney Love finally told everyone what they already knew and didn’t care about in the first place…. Yeah, Hole is over. Courtney is working on some new band though so she can stay famous. Courtney, give us more money.

Green Day is putting out a B-sides and rarities release in July. Matt Skiba and Heather Hannoura care about that one.

Snapcase just finished their new record called “End Transmission.” That dude still can’t sing his way out of a paper bag.

The Pattern are touring with Rama Mayo’s favorite band to see at the Roxy, The Hives.
5/31/2002: 15th Street Tavern – Denver, CO Doors: 8PM; 21+
6/1/2002: Replay Lounge – Lawrence, KS With: The People; 21+
6/2/2002: Sokol Underground – Omaha, NE Doors: 8PM; all ages
6/4/2002: First Avenue – Minneapolis, MN With: The Hives, Mooney Suzuki;
Doors: 5PM; all ages
6/6/2002: Empty Bottle – Chicago, IL With: The Dishes; 21+
6/8/2002: The Opera House – Toronto, Ontario With: The Hives, Mooney
Suzuki; Doors: 8:30PM; all ages
6/9/2002: Club Soda – Montreal, Quebec With: The Hives, Mooney Suzuki;
Doors: 7:30PM; 18+
6/11/2002: Middle East Underground – Cambridge, MA With: The Hives, Mooney
Suzuki; Doors: 8PM; 18+
6/12/2002: Bowery Ballroom – NYC, NY With: The Hives, Mooney Suzuki;
Doors: 7:30PM; 18+
6/13/2002: Bowery Ballroom – NYC, NY With: The Hives; Doors: 7:30PM; 18+
6/15/2002: Black Cat – Washington, DC With: The Hives, Mooney Suzuki
6/16/2002: Mickey Finns Pub – Toledo, OH Doors: 9PM; all ages

The Dillinger Escape Plan have finally posted a reason as to why they had to cancel their European tour – “Unfortunately kids… we have been sabotaged! A Certain European booking agent decided to fuck up a bunch of our dates (most of which were to take place in Germany) because we fired him. Why did we fire him you ask… because he didn’t abide to a verbal contract of honesty and failed to adhere to the commitment of achieving certain tasks. In other words people, don’t tell a band you book the Wu Tang Clan when you don’t and most certainly don’t untruthfully tell people you book a handful of other bands that that person talks to on a regular basis. Dumb Dumb dumb! OK now that we have vented about this numb nuts, we would like to apologize to those who were unable to catch Dillinger due to these events. Make up shows are already in process for late August and early September and will be posted soon.” As for the nearer future, the band plans on playing the following shows here in the states:
06.18 – New Haven, CT – Toads
06.19 – Cleveland, OH – Agora Theater
06.20 – Detroit, MI – Shelter
06.21 – Chicago, IL – Fireside Bowl
06.22 – Louisville, KY – KrazyFest

Britney broke up with Justin again, rumor has it that Jeff Wood gave her the “I’ll eat you out for 2 hours with my clothes on and leave” line and she went for it.

Click here to buy your very own “Thursday Whoopee Cushions”

Sarah Ultragrrrl told us we need to post something, here it is in her own words:
My friend, Sean McGrath, was recently admitted into Columbia Prysbeterian Hospital after several of his organs stopped working. During exploration surgery it was discovered that he had cancer of the digestive track. In order to raise money for his medical bills (which will be a small fortune close to $500,000), and raise his spirits, me and some friends got together with a couple of bands to organize this benefit concert. Sean was in a lot of hardcore/punk bands growing up (Saves the Day and Mouthpiece), so his friends came out in full force. This show will be really amazing, and it’s for a really great cause.read below and thanks!
Hey Everyone!
Tickets for Sean McGrath’s benefit show went on sale this afternoon…
If you’re not familiar with the bands, I can assure you that the line-up is incredible… here are the details…
The Bands: Thursday, Midtown, Taking Back Sunday, the Alps and Special Guests
The Spot: Saturday, June 15, Irving Plaza, NYC
The Tickets: $25 (100% of the ticket goes towards helping Sean fight cancer)
Here’s the ticketmaster address:https://ticketing.ticketmaster.com/cgi/purchasePage.asp?event_id=34BCA1979742&event_code=EIV0615E

Jeff Wood quote of the week:
“I don’t care that I’m stupid… people LOVE ME CAUSE I’M STUPID. If I was smart no one would like me.”

The Shat record is nearing completion. Jeremy Weiss shot Jeff Wood for the album artwork yesterday, (what better way to spend the few days before your wedding day than with Jeff Wood?). Yeah, that’s right, our friends Jeremy Weiss and Claire Davis are getting married on the 19th of this month in New Jersey. We were too poor to go, but we want to congratulate them via the world wide web. CONGRATULATIONS!

The Your Enemies Friends “Wiretap E.P.” 12 inches are pressed up. They will be available in the Buddyhead online Super Store tomorrow. The first 150 people who order the vinyl on the Buddyhead store will receive one of only 208 LP’s pressed on CLEAR VINYL. The clear versions will never be available in stores EVER, so don’t fuck this up if you’re a vinyl collector nerd. The band will also be selling LP’s on their tour now. Another 813 white vinyl versions will be available at shows and in stores. If these freaks come through your town, make sure to check em out. The digi pack cd version will be up in the store in the next week or so too. So hang out for that.

Speaking of our store. It’s full of new shirts and sweatshirts. Buy a lot of shit.

The Icarus Line lied about not playing any U.S. shows until September, and are doing some shows with that Andrew W.K. dude. Their first show with their new drummer, Troy Boy, will be with the party dude at the House Of Blues in L.A. on May 31st. That’s gonna be a whole lot of weird looking dudes with long hair on one stage that night. We’re gonna see if Andrew really parties or not.

Chris Carrabba of Dashboard Confessional is in the new Rolling Stone magazine saying some funny fucking shit. First off he says that he has a crush on Michelle Gellar, but it doesn’t stop there, he then goes on to say that he’s going to marry her. He also makes sure to throw in that he’s “not a stalker” and that she’s “so beautiful”, and that he’s “never looked at her website”, but that he “did buy the ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ box set DVD”. Ok, first off this guy is a bigger geek than I thought. Secondly, WHO THE FUCK BUYS THE BUFFY BOX SET? I mean, I just got the Black Sabbath box set, but the Buffy box set? Come on dude… try not to be such a geek, you’re giving me a stomach ache. And not to be the one to break it to you, but you’re from Florida, Buffy isn’t gonna date a dude from Florida who buys her box sets.

Matador is on Dead Meadows nutz.

McRib is back.

Melissa Auf Der Maur is recording her first solo record here in LA. It features members and former members of Tomahawk, Queens Of The Stoneage, Fu Manchu, Rocket From The Crypt and the Screaming Trees. We were hoping that seeing as how she’s banging Andrew W.K., he might do a duet about partying on the album.

Speaking of Tomahawk, they’re opening for TOOL! We’re going.

Burger King is giving Jack a run for their money, they’ve got two tacos for .99 cents!

What the fuck is this 3rd Strike shit? Where do they find all these fat jocks? If you see anybody buying or listening to this shit, take one for the team and swiftly bitch slap the fruitcake.

Go buy the new Rapture “Jealous Lovers” 12 inch on DFA records. It smokes. You can check out the track on epitonic.com by clicking here. If you live in Europe, they’re coming over this summer. Go see them.

Anyone tried the cheesey fry-sauce that comes with that Shaq Pack?

Apparently, Fred Durst and those other guys in Limp Bizkit rented the Pink Mansion, (in the back of the Beverly Hills Hotel) to audition guitar players from other bands. The list of try outs were: Buckethead, Dave Navaro, Mikey from Soulfly, and Dino from Fear Factory. They finally settled on Mike Smith from Snot/the Start. Killer dudes.

Apparently, our buddy Fred Durst might be moving to New York City instead of
England due to new airline regulations. None of the major airlines are allowing large quantities of lard to be flown overseas, so it looks like we’re stuck with Fred for a while.

Aaron’s breathing is normal again, The Cro Mags are back together… again.

We got an email from some kid who went over to Island / Def Jam wearing a Buddyhead shirt… he said that “First off, they Buddyhead worship over there. I happened to be wearing my Buddyhead t-shirt and every creepy suit walked up to me and gushed about Buddyhead. One dude was all like, “I’m good friends with Travis. He’s a great guy.” Shit like that. It was pretty sad. I saw an Icarus Line CD sitting on top of some dude’s desk with an Andrew W.K. CD and an Injected CD.” Well that’s bullshit creepy suit guys over at Island / Def Jam…. Cuz we never get free records from you! Let’s fix that… send us a big old box of the good stuff. If you’re gonna say you know us, at least send us free records we can sell for McRib sandwiches. Buddyhead PO BOX 1268 Hollywood, CA 90078

In other Island news, word is they want to snatch up The Promise Ring and Milemarker. Thursday isn’t going to record any new material for their last Victory/MCA release. It’s going to be outtakes or live shit or something. All the new stuff is going to be on the Island/Def Jam debut. How exciting, you’re only like six years late on that one.

Idaho band, Built to Spill, broke up.

If you’re Japanese, you’re pretty stoked cos the Summersonic festival lineup has recently been announced. Guns N’ Roses, The Offspring, No Doubt, Andrew WK, Nofx, Disturbed, Morrissey, The Hives, Rival Schools, Hoobastank, Sum 41, Cave In, The Icarus Line, and a bunch of other bands are gonna play and then try to get all Rivers Cuomo on the local chicks. Someone book Travis a flight today.

If you’re into seeing tons of shitty hardcore bands in one sitting, you’ll be super stoked about Krazyfest this year. From June 21-23 killer bands like As Friends Rust, Bane, Reach The Sky, The Hope Conspiracy, Thursday, and Stretch Armstrong will wow tons of Midwest kids who have no idea that “hardcore” is just as dead. Stagnant, and boring as “punk” and they probably won’t even notice that all these bands sound the same… or close enough that anybody with any musical taste will not care. A band or 2 playing the thing are actually good. Dillinger Escape Plan and Planes Mistaken For Stars are playing… worth spending all your lunch money and having to sit through all the other wack shit? Probably not.

Fuck Carrot Top.

You may have seen the newest of Nike’s retro ad campaign featuring your favorite basketball players in afros and bell bottoms, accompanied by the one and only Bootsy Collins. They were directed by the Hughes Brothers, who made “Menace II Society”. The next commercial features Snoop Dogg and George Clinton rocking the “mothership.” The brothers will probably leave out the footage of G. Clinton smoking crack in the bathroom and the leftover crack pipes the P.A.’s had to clean up after the shoot! “Ain’t nuthin but a party ya’ll’ and George knows how to party!

Joe from The Icarus Line thinks Pink is a midget, the new Beachwood Sparks – “Make the Cowboy Robots Cry” is great, and that Donny Darko is the best movie of the year.

I wish someone would talk about SPIDERMAN some more!

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are staying at the Chateau Marmont with Rick Rubin while they finish up another record. We couldn’t care any less about funk bands.

If you’ve turned on the radio lately, you’ve heard Kelly Osbourne’s cover of Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach”. We heard somewhere that Incubus was involved somehow. Could this Incubus involved, real life sitcom inspired, Madonna cover song, be Kelly’s way of telling her father Ozzy that “she is keeping the baby”? If there’s a baby, who’s the father? Could it be Gideon Yago of MTV News and Teen People’s hottest 25 under 25! Scandalous!

Eminem has a new record about how awesome he is at rapping and how everyone else is gay. It’s called “The Eminem Show”, it’s in stores June 4th, and if you turn on your TV or radio for the next year, you’re gonna hear it. Go see him live so you can watch him rap right over his cd.

Dan O’Mahoney, that weird fat guy who sang for No For An Answer, 411 etc… yeah, a bunch of bands nobody cares about, has opened a bar in Huntington Beach. Yeah dude, the guy with the “POISON FREE” tattoo runs a bar now. What a dipshit.

The Get Up Kids are out peddling their evil on the road again with Superchunk as their opening act. Oh boy.

Well, cross the White Stripes off of your “bands that might save rock n’ roll” list. The singer guy just got the kiss of death from the indierock Bebe Buell, Winonna Ryder. Once you shag that rug, no one’s even gonna step on you man.

Matt Skiba told us he lost his virginity to Gillian Anderson while she was running a punk label.

Shellac and a bunch of other bands are gonna be at this year’s ”More Than Music Festival” July 5-7 in Columbus, Ohio. Too bad it’s in Ohio. Additional bands that are gonna be playing the 10-Year Anniversary of the festival include: Lightning Bolt, Jets To Brazil (word is they are actually gonna play “Kiss the Bottle” if the crowd yells it enough times at this show!), The Locust, Rah Brahs (ex Nah-Brahs), The Walkmen, Bratmobile, The Dropscience, The Blood Brothers, Erase Errata, Adult, Cancer Conspiracy, Converge, French Kicks, High On Fire, Super Smash Brothers, and a few others you really don’t care about.

The Juliana Theory were going to call their upcoming Epic debut “Love”, but then one of the other suits at their label who actually owns a few real records told them that Lou Reed already did that way back in 2000, so they’ve changed the upcoming title to “Man Love”.

Ja Rule is apparently banging Ashanti. Tom Apostolopoulos is apparently banging lots of dudes.

Arab on Radar, Lightning Bolt, and The Locust are touring together this summer. That’s gonna be a lot of skinny white kids with dumb haircuts freaking out at once.

Emily’s Bat Mitzvah changed their name to The Fugitive.

Also, if you ever need to mail Buddyhead anything, our one and only address is: Buddyhead PO Box 1268, Hollywood, CA 90078. Anything sent elsewhere will not reach Buddyhead. We like free shit by the way. We even like when you send us baby shit or razorblades. It brightens our day to see we’ve affected you fruitcakes so deeply. So if you work for some company, send us whatever it is your company does, for free. Now. Cuz we’re poor and we make you laugh and we’re smarter than you, or if you’re just plain fucking rich, give us some of your motherfuckin’ money biatch. Also, back to the free product, this really means you, mister or miss record label, management company, pr firm, or any other place that has promotional music… send Buddyhead tons of free cd’s and lp’s. Thank you. Our email address is: buddyhead@buddyhead.com.

So, last time we posted on here we sent you over to say hi to The Strokers as we were leaving for their city to steal their women and drink in their watering-holes. Joe Cardamone (singer of the Icarus Line, not to mention one hell of a graffiti artist) and myself (Travis Keller) went on a little trip. We flew out to New York first for a night of rock n’ roll, cab rides, drugs, and well… we saw Spiritualized. This is just after catching them the week before at their L.A. show. Just to clear this up, we weren’t following them or pulling any kind of Grateful Dead type shit. Don’t worry. It’s like Lance said, “We might smoke pot, but we’re not fucking hippies man!” Somehow we got into the “Official New York Spiritualized After Party”, which turned out to be kinda boring. Joe, myself, the one and only video camera wielding Joe Burns (who made our day and gave us the show on video along with The Rolling Stone’s “Cocksucker Blues” – thanks again Joe!), Eddie Vedder’s brother and his ill posse, the well dressed and (did he mention?) college educated, gay icon Gideon Yago (check out NEW YORK magazine for Gideon’s write up as “gay icon Y” Haha.), Todd Bridges (yes from Different Strokes), Kramer, multi-lingual super model Leah Cary (who later danced on tables), the entire cast of Friends, a few slutty chicks, a few dickhead suits, some other creepy randoms, and the sober cast of Spiritualized. So there we were partying, drinking their beer and eating their deli trays, talking shit and watching Gideon tell everyone in Spiritualized how rad they were for us while we told ourselves how rad we were. Four valiums and most of their beer later we got antsy and left. On the way out we stole the rest of their beer in our bags and hit up some bar none of us remember much of. The next day Tom told us he’d showed up with an air horn and Travis got us kicked out because of it. The rest of the night was an uphill downhill, if you know what we mean. Meaning we’re not gonna tell you, just think rock n’ roll, death, satan, drugs, sex, and violence. Oh and there were a few explosions too. The next day it was off to Philly where Joe finished up recording an EP with Don Devore (from Ink & Dagger) for their new side project “Souls She Said”. Don laid down the bass and guitar tracks, while Ryan from Ink & Dagger and Ryan from Euphone each did half the drum tracks. Joe showed up, the music was done, he just wrote lyrics and melodies right there with Don. Don even made Travis do a little back up singing on one song. After two nights of writing and recording, a big pile of pills and drugs, a few good Joe Burns acoustic jam sessions, and a dog constantly trying to fuck everyone, we were done. We’ll have an mp3 up on the record label page real soon for you guys to check out. It’s a rough mix of something from the EP. From Philly it was back to New York once more, but we enjoyed it a bit too long and missed our flights. Joe caught the next one back and headed to Coachella with Aaron who didn’t go to New York and actually WORKED and stuff on Buddyhead while Joe and Travis were busy suckin’ dicks. Travis stayed in the city for a little reclusive vacation of sorts. Click here for a small gallery of digital photos Travis snapped on the trip.

Oh yeah, everybody who sent in death threats to Aaron about the Stevie Ray Vaughn guitar incident… PRICELESS.

Oh, and we took the Buddyhead message board down because Buddyhead is not about some dork ass hangout where people can brag about all the famous people they’ve fucked or know. It’s about music and the CONTENT on the page. Therefore we’ve taken the board down until we touch up the site with a ton of exciting shit we have going on. TONS of new Buddyhead merch will be available soon. Don’t worry internet geeks, there’s plenty of Buddyhead on the net to occupy your time besides the dorkboard. Go back and read the site again and the archives (which will also be heavily touched up soon). New music review database launching next week too. If that doesn’t give you a boner I don’t know what does.

These people RULE THE SCHOOL: Esther E., Carolina E., Nate H., Ray S., Matt P., Gabe A., Cassandra B., and Christy C. Without their help, the Your Enemies Friends LP’s would have been a total disaster. Not to mention Kathleen Fisher who got everybody’s ass in gear and mommied us all. Thank you a million for saving our asses… a million slaps on yours. By the way, the LPs and CDs of The Wiretap EP will be available on the Buddyhead store real soon, and then finally in stores sometime in June.

Coachella was a bit disappointing… a pile of shit? Backstage was full of them too. It didn’t suck on Goldenvoice’s part though. The organization and execution of the whole thing was done beautifully. Maybe the suckage had more to do with the neg vibes perpetuated by the handful of wack bands and their dickpig followers. Aaron, Joe, and Troy (of the Icarus Line) went to find the free food, drugs, and/or alcohol, but only ended up finding dickpig rockstar chasing sluts, ass kissers, idiot yes man label people, butt licking publicists, and a slew of boring bands. Rama (you might know him better as Travis Keller’s roommate or the face of Big Wheel Recreation) ended up at some after party thing and taught the Strokes how to play the dice game, C-LOW. Then Kelly Osborne kicked Rama out for being loud?!? Isn’t it a party? What gives Kelly? Your dad is Ozzy, you are allowed to get a bit wild. So anyhow back to the Strokes not knowing how to play C-LOW… What the fuck is that about? How are you in a rock band and you don’t know how to play fucking dice? So, what else? Oh yeah. It looks like we were right again. Dave Grohl played drums with those old dudes like we said he would, Bjork did her thing, the Strokes bored everybody but all the geeks dressed like the Strokes, but then fucked all the hot girls anyway cuz they wear leather jackets that cost more than small countries, The Mars Volta fucked it up and showed all those other bands why they all suck, the Foo Fighters had famous people on stage or something, Saves The Day proved why the emo explosion is gonna be a sleeper, Pete Yorn spent most of the day looking in the mirror at himself, Siouxsie was probably ok but she was so old we couldn’t tell, Cake fucking played (that was super killer, about as good as stabbing yourself in the neck with a fork), The INC came out and talked about the government or something in their camo, Oasis talked about how rad they were and bored everybody into a coma and sent them to the parking lot, and that Jessie Camp knob was there being lame and not talking in that voice he used to. Watching people not give a fuck about most of the headlining bands was kinda a bummer… but also kinda cool. People are ready for some new shit, and aren’t interested in reminiscing about what was happening in rock 10 years ago. The only problem is… where is it?

It seems like A&R dudes are out on the town looking for the next Emo-boy-band with the same ferocity as a Catholic priest looking to rope in some altar boy communion dick. A good example of this is that band from Nebarkabama (yeah we have no idea where the fuck they’re from, but we know it’s some fucked up corn and cow state that breeds boring bands) Recover, who are getting tons of offers from major labels and even Emotaph (Vagrant). Who forgot to tell everyone that these guys are kinda not that interesting? What the fuck is going on here? Does the mainstream really need to be inundated with whiney 19-year-old white kids complaining about girlfriends and shit. Fuck this shit. Gimme danger, gimme excitement, gimme people who aren’t boring.

On the “shitty bands actually getting signed to majors” tip, Orange County hardcore band and firm supporters of the “shorts on stage” look, Thrice, are now millionaires. Yeah, those dudes don’t have to get jobs now cuz their mall metal/emo band got signed to Island Def Jam. That’s right, they can now buy stuff like one Throwdown record for every resident of Anaheim or some shit. Think of the possibilities they now have, it’s exciting.

Oh and The Hives, you know the fat Swedes in ties? Well, they got sold to Warner Brothers for a million bucks. Now they can afford to send the two slobs in the band back to fat camp for the summer. Get on that guys.

Despite the high amount of sucky warped tour bands getting signed, a few good ones are getting picked up too. The Burning Brides are getting their dicks sucked by pretty much every major label dipshit out there right now. Go check em out now before you everybody else pretends they knew about em before you did.

http://www.burningbrides.com/

The Burning Brides Tour Dates:
W/LOCAL H
05/03 – Otto’s (Dekalb, IL)
05/04 – Vic Theater (Chicago, IL)
W/ MONSTER MAGNET
05/08 – TLA (Philadelphia, PA)
W/ MIKE WATT
05/31 – Knickerbocker’s (Lincoln, NE)
06/01 – The Bottleneck (Lawrence, KS)
06/02 – The Bluebird Theater (Denver, CO)
06/03 – The Aggie Theatre (Ft. Collins, CO)
06/04 – Liquid Joe’s (Salt Lake City, UT)
06/05 – Neurolux (Boise, ID)
06/07 – Richard’s On Richards (Vancouver, BC, Canada)
06/08 – The Crocodile Cafe (Seattle, WA)
06/09 – Dante’s (Portland, OR)
06/10 – Wow Hall (Eugene, OR)
06/11 – The Brick Works (Chico, CA)
06/12 – Old Ironsides (Sacramento, CA)
06/13 – Slim’s (San Francisco, CA)
06/14 – The Slo Brewing Company (San Luis Obispo, CA)
06/15 – The Living Room (Goleta, CA)

The new Punk Planet is out with their “Vagrant Expose” article in it. Not at all the “scandal piece” they were hoping for it seems. It’s actually quite boring and we couldn’t even make it all the way through… skipped about to the Buddyhead quotes, and Steve Albini’s. The rest is pretty lame. The funny part is that throughout the entire article, nobody just mentions the fact that normal people don’t care about any of that shit at all cos Vagrant doesn’t even put out any good records that merit any attention for them… save one or two fluke records. Oh and Jessica Hooper straight up lies and points the finger at Buddyhead for that Alkaline Trio situation just to cover her own ass. She obviously figures Buddyhead is an easy scapegoat to point the finger at. Hey Jessica, everyone knows you did it, so quit being a soul-less little crybaby bitch and take credit for what you do. In other words, grow a spine.

In other Vagrant news, Kevin Vagrant has quit working at the label to sing for some band called Hoobastank.

Oh, yeah, if any of you major label peoples wanna take us out to lunch, we’re down for free lunch. You can watch us eat and wonder why we are only stuffing our faces and not “talking shop”. If you’ve got the company card, we’ve got the time. Free food is free food. Let’s talk rock bro!

Just saw that new Korn video. Ok, first off, as much as you fucking geeks wish you were, you guys aren’t and never will be as good as Tool or even Nine Inch Nails. They even got worms and shit in their video. Trent already did that like ten years ago. Oh, and your bass player wears Pony PJ’s out in public, go the fuck home.

Speaking of Korn, The Revolution Smile are out on tour with Puddle of Mudd. Bet that’s an awesome tour. Having fun guys?

That big wrestler/frat guy Andrew W.K. has somehow tricked Dave Grohl’s old slam-piece Melissa Auf Der Mar into letting his sweaty/geeky ass bone her. Yeah, they’re like totally dating! Gross is right. Somebody ruin this guy’s life immediately please. Oh wait, he’s gonna do that himself… he just invited the Icarus Line on tour…

Speaking of Dave Grohl, he’s put the Foo Fighters “on hold” so he can go play with those other old guys in Queens of the Stoneage. Dave, give us money. Speaking of delusional drummers, the guy with the bad hardcore tats in Blink 182 now thinks he’s Tommy Lee. His drum set actually spins upside down and shoots fire out – yeah talk about wack. They’ve been worrying more about their clothing labels than their songwriting.

In other Blink news, the drummer and one of the other dudes also forgot they were in a band that’s all about poop and high school girls. They think their new band, who we keep forgetting the name of, sounds like Quicksand, Refused, and Fugazi. No dudes, it just sounds like Blink in drop D. Go back to writing songs about popping zits and shit. You fucking dorks.

Speaking of bands trying to rip off Refused, HOW THE FUCK DID THAT SHIT BAND “Hoobastank” GET AWAY WITH COMPLETELY RIPPING OFF A RIFF FROM “NEW NOISE” AND NOT GET NAILED FOR IT? SOMEBODY STAB THESE INCUBUS DONG HUFFING DORKS. DO WE REALLY NEED ANOTHER INCUBUS?

Ahhhhhhhhh Weezer news. Here we go…

Matt Sharp slapped Rivers, his child molester beard, and the rest of his goofy band, Weezer, which a fat ass lawsuit this week. Sharp claims that Rivers owes him some money and some credit concerning the “Undone (Sweater)” song, and the entire record of Pinkerton.

Oh, and you know Weezer’s hit single “Hashpipe”, is actually not really a Weezer song? It was originally written by a band called The Shods from Boston who opened for Rivers on a few of his acoustic shows. The Shods song is called “He Shot Himself Up”, download it from audiogalaxy and compare. The Shods song was on an album that was never released (but will be soon) but was a regular feature of their set for years. Rivers was apparently such a huge fan of the band that he used to shout out and request “He Shot Himself Up” live and had Kevin, the Shods guitarist teach it to him. He was also such a huge fan that he thought it would be a good idea to blatantly steal the song’s riff and use it for himself. Bomb dude.

Rivers Cuomo likes to fuck 13 year old Asians. That’s not even news, but it will always be funny. Oh yeah… he has a fucking beard now too! Did anyone get a load of that shit, he’s going for that “pedophiliac 7th grade Earth Science Teacher look”. And the new bass player guy… YIKES! Looks like they got him from prison. In about a year all of these dorky white boy emo bands will resemble bearded kid touchers. Should be a party like Andrew W.K.

Mikey Welsh (that dude from Weezer who got to be “not Matt Sharp” for a few months) well… his ex girlfriend found out about Mikey cheating on her from buddyhead.com. Sorry bout that one there sporto. Now that Mike is single, he’s got plenty of time to play music again. He started a band called The Kickovers, which is with some guy who used to be in The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Yeah, sounds real awesome man. Pick it up. http://www.thekickovers.com/ is their site.

The lineups have been announced for this years Reading and Leeds Festivals, and it looks like we will all be there trying to talk Axl into letting anyone, even fat ass poodle-head drummer for hire guy, Matt Sorum, back into “the band”. Jeff Wood (of Shat) says he’s going to propose to Meg White (of the White Stripes). Jeff told us she was “ready”. Travis and Joe will be busy trying to get J. Spaceman to do drugs with us. Aaron’s gonna be quizzing those hicks in Slipknot about being on tour with System. He’s hoping one of em saw the guitar player naked or something. Anyway, this thing looks like this: Guns N Roses – which is really just Axl, his hairplugs, his fat ass, and a bunch of other dudes who are named: “Not-Slash”, “Not-Duff”, and “Not-Izzy” – yippee (they’re only playing the Leeds show), Prodigy, The Offspring, Slipknot, Incubus, NOFX, Puddle of Mudd, The Strokes, Pulp, Janes Addiction, Weezer, the White Stripes, Foo Fighters, Muse, Sum 41, The Hives, Andrew W.K., Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Spiritualized, the Icarus Line, and the Dillinger Escape Plan (on the Main Stage!). The later two, we hear will be teaming up in the next few months on a few things that we’ll be telling you about in the very near and very exciting future. Stay tuned dorks.

Ok, who was it with the bloody idea over at MTV, to let those two clowns from Good Charlotte host their new “ROCK SHOW” on MTV, which is hardly a rock show by the way… more like a show about fat bald dudes playing jock metal and hardcore guys playing pop punk. Although it is pretty fucking funny to watch the two twin brother hosts get all giddy and excited whenever the suits let them watch a Green Day video (or any other pop punk video for that matter) while they show off their Hot Topic clothes. Maybe it’s even funnier that these supposed “punk” dudes are forced by the MTV suits to act excited about the new Godsmack video and tour dates they announce. Pretty fuckin punk dudes.

Bruce Vilanch (who was the fat guy from Hollywood Squares) probably doesn’t know Buddyhead is for the children. Call him and tell him at (323) 851-6652.
The new Botch EP is killer. Wait til you hear it, you’re gonna piss yourself. For sure their best stuff ever, much more straight ahead and focused, in every good way possible. Why are all the good bands breaking up? What the fuck man? Their last show is on June 15th @ the Showbox in Seattle, Washington (you know, where Nirvana was from, man) with some other bands that they like. You can buy tickets on www.fastixx.com Were going and someone better figure out how to get Jeff Wood out there or it ain’t gonna be the party it could be.
The Mars Volta just got back to Los Angeles from some “killer shows in Europe and Japan”. They did five weeks in Europe with the bearded ones of Les Savy Fav, followed by a week in Japan. Their new e.p. “Tremulant”, is out on GSL and it’s one of the sweetest things our ears have heard lately. Get down with it fruitloop. Lots of reverb. The Mars Volta have also signed to a label that doesn’t have a name yet that belongs to Gary Gersh and is a subsidiary of Universal. Hey Gary, give us some motherfucking money. You have so much of it. Like a few thousand bucks would really make us giddy. Thanks. The deal was sweetened for the band with an agreement that helps fund indie label GSL which is co-owned by one the afros… Omar. Punk Floyd baby, I mean The Mars Volta played Day 2 of the Coachella festival. At least one good band played.
In addition to working on their hair, I Am Spoonbender have been working on a 4 track e.p. for release this summer on GSL.

R. Kelly will eat your ass if you’re young and ripe.

That Dashboard Confessional dweeb likes to kill baby kittens backstage before he goes on every night. He’s also a member of NAMBLA. We’re on to you geek.

De Facto just played at the KXLU 88.9 fm fund raiser show, on April 24 at the Knitting Factory in Hollywood. Hope you brought your bong if you caught that.

Layne Staley is dead. But the sad thing is, nobody is surprised. I mean come on, watch their last MTV Unplugged thing and check out the bass player and guitar player giving each other the “is he gonna make it through this song?” looks at each other. Near the end Layne could barely even use his hands at all cos he’d been shooting heroin in between his knuckles.

In case you missed the memo, Aaron Icarus is now known as “the Corpse”. We weren’t out of town a full week, yet we come back and now he’ll only leave the house in full corpse paint, his cape, knee high boots, and his Bauhaus shirt that’s covered in real goats blood. We didn’t think it was possible, but the kid is getting weirder.

Some band named, Vega4 (they’re on Capitol or something), claim to be Shat’s biggest fans. Speaking of Shat, the new record “The Cunt Chronicles” (which will be 65 tracks mind you!) is being laid out by a graphic artist as you read this. Expect that in stores by June and in the Buddyhead online store much sooner than that.

With the death of Milton Berle, the largest cock in show business now belongs to Stephen Brodsky from Cave In.

Speaking of Cave In, it’s a good thing their new label RCA is spending thousands of dollars on street teams for them (wonder if that’s recoupable). Whatever street team is working Cave In totally rules. They were out in front of Coachella giving away tons of free nu metal band shit, so we thought it’d be interesting to see if we could hijack about 7 boxes worth of Cave In samplers. Amoeba here we come! Street teams are bomb and totally worth the millions that major labels spend on them!!! Not.

That huge guy, Fletcher from Pennywise, must have seen that Scorpion movie with the Rock in it over the weekend because now all of a sudden he wants to get all WWF Raw action on Aaron Icarus’ little gothic ass. We kinda think that this is all just a big excuse so that he can try and touch Aaron’s wiener. There’s been a lot of that going around lately… dudes touching his wiener that is. If you see Fletcher, tell him to lay off the 7 layer burritos a little bit and make sure he cuts back a tad on the amount of macho nachos he’s stuffing in his face every day.

Fuck Incubus.

You know that At the Drive-in rip off band? No, not Vendetta Red, that other one. Yeah, Thursday. Well, they just signed to Island Def Jam for some crazy amount of stupid money. Yeah, these geeks aren’t getting jobs anytime soon. The funny part is that it’s for the record after this next one, because they still owe Victory another record. In the meantime, Victory Records turns around and sells 25% of their silly label to MCA Records for like $5 million clams or some fuckin’ shit (you know they’re just day dreaming of all those hockey jerseys and bandanas they are gonna buy with all that!), so it looks like Island Def Jam’s ass just got fucked really hard by the cock of MCA, who now gets the next Thursday record. The funniest part is that all these people are getting totally scammed, cause Thursday totally sucks shit like it’s their bloody job. Can someone give us some good bands to talk about?

Also, Geoff from that Thursday band is producing an album by another band we couldn’t care less about, called My Chemical Romance. He’s gonna tell them when to turn up the emo. Sounds killer.

A bug with 65 legs ran across Tom’s desk when he was adding to the gossip, and he screamed like a girl. Ten bucks says he was listening to Bold.

Travis thinks The Black Heart Procession are completely amazing.

Two guys in that shitty band Coal Chamber, knocked each others teeth out while they were on stage, but then a week later they kissed and made up. Jeff Wood (of Shat) hooked up with that girl who’s in that band. Jeff showed her “horrible things”.

The Juliana Theory kicked out their drummer. What that dude doesn’t realize is he just got the equivalent of an 11th hour pardon while being on Death Row.

Fuck Incubus again.

Midtown did some “crazy” interview with some punk webzine no one cares about, where they talk shit on their old label. Too bad their band is still just as embarrassing as their old label. Click here for interview. http://www.absolutepunk.net/sub_pages/interviews/files/midtown.htm

The Weakerthans will be touring with The Promise Ring. The Promise Ring’s new album, “The Chronic”, is out on Epitaph now. The album has some killer “buds” on it in some crazy metallic ink. Try getting really stoned, or huff a bunch of gas, and then pretend they’re as good as The Flaming Lips (they sure did) when you listen to it.

Julian Casablancas, former child star from the movie “Big” and current singer of “The Strokers”, lost his cool and punched John Voigtmann. John just so happens to be the senior director of international marketing at RCA. That’s pretty funny, but needless to say, that’s about the most exciting thing we’ve heard about this band yet.

Damon from Blur/Gorillaz also had some things to say about the Strokers. “Shall I tell you the problem? The Strokes. Very good band, nice melodies – they’ve got everything required at that age to make good music. But you know, they’re not the only good band in the world, and as soon as they make a mistake, you bury them. And they will make a mistake. We all make mistakes.” Yeah like going to see the Gorillaz live.

Soren and Rama went in on a vacuum together. Travis vacuumed his floor.

LuxuryFashion.com mentioned us when they were talking about the Osbournes in ‘news’, oh boy we even got a link. http://www.luxuryfashion.com/news.html

Amen got dropped or something by Virgin. Two dudes who are homeless and stole the last record when it came out care about this news. Everyone else just wants that singer dude to dish out some pills. He’s a “pharmacist”. Dude, next time you see us, you gotta dish us some pills man, we know you got the good pills.

Alkaline Trio’s singer/coverboy Matt Skiba, recently added some vocals to The Pattern’s new album. Word is Matt got a “scolding” from the englishman behind the boards, Alex Newport (Mars Volta, The Icarus Line, Your Enemies Friends producer) for “ruining his voice with a bottle of beer”.

The Melvins crawled out of their wheel chairs and are now on tour with Dead Low Tide.
5/21/02 Chico, CA @ Brick Works w/ Dead Low Tide
5/22/02 Sacramento, CA @ The Boardwalk w/ Dead Low Tide
5/23/02 Santa Cruz, CA @The Catalyst w/ Dead Low Tide
5/24/02 San Francisco, CA @ Slim’s w/ Dead Low Tide
5/25/02 Los Angeles, CA @ Troubador w/ Dead Low Tide

Revelation records signed another band. We’re not even gonna bother naming them because no one cares. Simon Brody says that Rev can eat a dick straight up. Well, actually we said it, but Simon wants to say it worse.

The Lost Kids couldn’t hack it in Portland, so they moved back to San Diego. Word on the street is they are gonna try to move there again soon. First Pleasure Forever, and now those guys? What the fuck is in Portland, besides fucking beavers and trees? Did we miss something?

So yeah, Pleasure Forever also got weird on us and moved out of California to Portland. They’re getting ready to hit the road for a long time. Make sure you catch this band, they will fucking rock you.
Tour Itinerary
DAY DATE CITY, STATE VENUE
Wed 5/1/02 San Antonio TX Strutters
Thu 5/2/02 Austin TX Emo’s
Fri 5/3/02 Baton Rouge LA Thirsty Tiger Tavern
Sat 5/4/02 Jackson MS Martins lounge
Sun 5/5/02 Birmingham AL The Boiler Room
Tue 5/7/02 Nashville TN The End w/Les Savy Fav
Wed 5/8/02 Knoxville TN Pilot Light w/Les Savy Fav
Thu 5/9/02 Atlanta GA The Earl w/Les Savy Fav
Fri 5/10/02 Carrboro NC Go Lounge w/Les Savy Fav
Sat 5/11/02 Baltimore MD Otto Bar w/Les Savy Fav
Sun 5/12/02 Washington DC Black Cat w/Les Savy Fav
Tue 5/14/02 Cambridge MA MIDDLE EAST Upstairs w/Rye Coalition
Wed 5/15/02 New York NY Bowery Ballroom w/Les Savy Fav
Thu 5/16/02 Philadelphia PA Khyber w/Rye Coalition
EUROPEAN TOUR:
DAY DATE CITY, STATE VENUE
Mon 5/20 Hamburg GER Marquee
TUE 5/21 Gothenburg SWE Ideal (w/90 Day Men)
WED 5/22 Oslo, NOR Mono (w/90 Day Men)
THU 5/23 Stockholm SWE Stampen (w/90 Day Men)
FRI 5/24 Skien NOR Rjukan FESTIVAL
SAT 5/25 Bergen NOR The Garage
MON 5/27 Malmo SWE Inkonst
TUE 5/28 Bielefeld GER Forum
WED 5/29 Munster GER Gleiss 22
THU 5/30 Koln GER Underground
SAT 6/01 Kontich BE Lintfabrik
MON 6/03 Vienna AUS Chelsea
TUE 6/04 ITALY TBD
WED 6/05 ITALY TBD
THU 6/06 ITALY TBD
FRI 6/07 ITALY TBD
SAT 6/08 ITALY TBD
SUN 6/09 Ljubjana SLOVENIA ILLISKRA BIRSKA MKNZ CLUB
TUE 6/11 Berlin GER Wild At Heart
WED 6/12 Krakow POLAND Club RE
THU 6/13 Wroclaw POLAND Piec Nutek
FRI 6/14 Prague CZ Club Wagon
SAT 6/15 Regensburg GER JAHNINSEL FESTIVAL
SUN 6/16 Weisbaden GER Schlachtof
SUMMER U.S. TOUR:
Tue 6/18/02 Pittsburgh PA TBA
Wed 6/19/02 Columbus OH or kalamazoo
Thu 6/20/02 Chicago IL Empty Bottle
Fri 6/21/02 Kansas City or Omaha
Sat 6/22/02 Denver CO BLUEBIRD THEATER

Aska from Your Enemies Friends recently tied the knot with Nathen from Pretty Girls Make Graves. Buddyhead wishes them many happy months together. Hopefully they like each other a lot cuz they’re gonna be seeing enough of each other while both of their bands are on tour together. Your Enemies Friends should have vinyl, cd’s, and t-shirts a few shows into the tour. Limited amounts of colored vinyl will be available in the Buddyhead store very soon.
Your Enemies Friends/Pretty Girls Make Graves Tour Dates
05/02/02 Salt Lake City, UT X-Scape (Formerly DV8)
05/03/02 Englewood, CO Gothic Theatre
05/04/02 Sioux Falls, SD Knights Of Columbus
05/06/02 Milwaukee, WI Globe East
05/07/02 Champaign, IL High Dive
05/08/02 Chicago, IL Fireside Bowl
05/09/02 Detroit, MI The Shelter
05/11/02 Pittsburgh, PA 31st Street Pub
05/15/02 Cambridge, MA Middle East Club
05/16/02 South Amboy, NJ Krome
05/21/02 Atlanta, GA Echo Lounge
05/22/02 Orlando, FL The Social (Sapphire Supper Club)
05/26/02 Houston, TX Fitzgerald’s
05/29/02 Tucson, AZ Skrappy’s
05/30/02 Mesa, AZ Nile Theatre
06/02/02 San Diego, CA Che Cafe
06/04/02 Goleta, CA Living Room
more dates coming soon

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting married. Those are gonna be some smart kids.

A sample of the new Hot Snakes record (which will be out June 11th and titled “Suicide Invoice”) is up at http://www.swamirecords.com/

Call up that dork who is responsible for the geek haven makeoutclub.com at (617)-216-6903 and tell him Morrissey is for fat girls.

There’s a new record store in the ghetto here (Echo Park) called Sea Level. Yeah Amoeba’s better, but if you go to Sea Level you have a chance at meeting the one and only Rama Mayo (who runs Big Wheel Records upstairs). Stop by, pick up some emo, and wink at Rama. 1716 w. sunset blvd.

Just when you thought Epitaph wasn’t all that bad of a record label, they put out another Punk O’Rama compilation to remind of us of all the shitty bands on their label. And there’s lots of em. Punk O’Rama number seven’s track listing:
Millencolin – Fingers Crossed
Hot Water Music – Wayfarer
The (International) Noise Conspiracy – Up For Sale
Pennywise – The World
Division Of Laura Lee – Black City
NOFX – Olympia, WA
Randy – Addicts Of Communication
Pulley – Hooray For Me
Bouncing Souls – The Something Special
The Hives – Supply And Demand
Bad Religion – The Defense
Deviates – The End
Dropkick Murphys – Heroes From Our Past
Rancid – Bob
Death By Stereo – Wasted Words
Agnostic Front – Love To Be Hated
1208 – Outside Looking In
98 Mute – M.A.D.
Guttermouth – My Girlfriend

Paul Westerberg called his new album “Mono”. I know we already said this, but… THE ICARUS LINE ALREADY NAMED THEIR ALBUM THAT… LAST YEAR BRO. Oh, and we saw that guy on Letterman and his band really sucks. Whatever man.

The Pinehurst Kids guitarist Devin Morrow cut the shit out of his hand while performing a satanic ritual, something about pig blood, a goat head, a large saw, and an oily dildo… we didn’t ask. Even as a three piece they’re better than Vendetta Red, which ain’t sayin’ much. They just did some demos with John Goodmanson who mixed the New Wu Tang Clan record. Although we’re not saying they are as good as “The Clan”, you should probably check the MP3’s out anyhow. http://www.pinehurstkids.com/sounds.html

The Explosion are breaking up, pussies.

Kool Keith has a new rap group. They’re called KHM, which stands for Keith, H and Mark (the three members of the group). They will release their untitled album in July on Keith’s own label, Gamelock Records. In addition to KHM, Keith said he has 10 solo albums already prepared (that’s a whole lot of keith), including new albums from old favorites Black Elvis, Dr. Octagon and Matthew. Killer.

The band no one can pronounce, !!! signed to Touch n Go Records. The band will be on tour with Trans Am in May and June, playing to crowds full of stupid haircuts.

The Convocation Of… are “on hiatus”. Bummer, these dudes bring the rock.

Saves The Day just announced their summer tour will be called “We think that we really like men”.

The Locust are going over to the East Coast so they can get beat up for dressing like cavemen again. Shat is going to play one of their shows (and obviously blow them the fuck away). Epitaph has been trying to sign these crazy guys for a long time. Who knows where their next album will end up. They should sign to Death Row. Errr, I mean THA ROW!

The Apes just finished up a European tour with Les Savy Fav and The Mars Volta and are currently working on their first full length on Fat Wreck Chords.

Vagrant Records is part of the Taliban. They’re hiding Bin Laden on tour with Dashboard Confessional.

The Blood Brothers are currently in the studio recording their major label debut with that hack Ross Robinson. No word on if he’s making the drummer cry about a dying relative or something, or if he’s blankly stared at the tape machine wondering how it works yet. We’ll keep you posted.

The Cancer Conspiracy, a pretty awesome band and very cool guys had their van broken into and everything stolen recently. You can’t make instrumental neo-prog math rock without $900 guitars, antique keyboards, and tube-crunch-echo-chamber-compression-delay-overdrive-super-shifters. Should have used “The Club” brah! Here is the word from the band’s label on the situation…

On their way home from playing at the BWR showcase at SXSW last week, the Cancer Conspiracy had one of the most tragic misfortunes that a band can endure happen to them. While staying in Queens, NY two nights ago their van was stolen with ALL of their equipment and merch in it. Sadly nothing has been found. The band would like any help possible in replacing their equipment. Here is a list of what was lost:

Drums: 3 Yamaha Cymbal stands $450 1 Paiste Hi Hat stand $300 1 Pro Mark
stick bag w/ sticks $75 1 Pearl rack tom stand $100 1 DW Snare stand $200
1 Gibraltor drum throne $150 1 Zildjian Sizzle 20 in. $300 1 Chimes $300
Ludwig Snare red sparkle Ludwig rack tom red sparkle Ludwig floor tom red
sparkle Ludwig floor tom blue sparkle Ludwig bass drum red sparkle $2000
Zildjian A custom 17 in. cymbal $200 Zildjian A custom 18 in. cymbal $200
Zildjian Mastersound Hi hat $300 Paiste 20 in. cymbal $250 DW drum pedal
$250 1 Sabian Black cymbal case $200 2 floor tom case 1 rack tom case 1
snare case 1 bass drum case $500
Guitars: 92 Fender Telecaster American $900 97 Fender Telecaster American
$900 73 Fender Twin reverb combo amp $1000 76 Marshall JMP 50 head $800 93
Rivera knucklehead 4×12 cab $850 SKB pedal board $200 Ibanez Tube screamer
distortion $100 Danelectro danecho delay $90 Morley AB box $50 Boss PSD
Pitch shift delay Akai Headrush delay $179 2 Ernie Ball Volume pedal $178
3 15in. cords $40 misc. cords $40
Bass: Ampeg SVT Classic Head $1600 Ampeg 8×10 Anniversary Series cab $1000
Fender Mexican Jazz Bass $450 SKB pedal board $200 2 Boss DD5 digital
delay $260 Boss ODB Bass Overdrive $80 Boss Compression Sustainer $80 Boss
Phaser $80 Boss PH3 Phase shifter $130 Boss Super shifter $150 Boss TU2
Tuner $100 Danelectro danecho delay $100 Ernieball volume pedal & 75 Grey
Tool box (cords, power supplies, strap) $150
Misc.: Ensoniq keyboard $500 Yamaha Saxaphone w/ case $800 Peavey Combo
amp $300 Boss DD5 digital delay $130 1 green tote merch.(cds, stickers,
etc) $1200
Also if you haven’t had the chance you should visit
thecancerconspiracy.com and listen to their entire record there. Even
buying a copy of the Audio Medium would help out in a small way. Thank you and we all are hoping the band can pull through this travesty
and continue to make their amazing music. BWR

Fuck Incubus again. Fuck that band Adema while we’re at it.

Slash, Duff, and Izzy are still not back in Guns N’ Roses… BUT, they are starting a new band together! No word on who the singer is going to be. This is not bullshit! Bomb.

Thursday is most likely going to sign to Island/Def Jam. Def Jam was pissed they didn’t get Linkin Park the first time around, so they don’t wanna fuck this one up.

Nas dissed the Roots by calling them “porch monkeys” and “sambos”. Nas also criticized the group for saying that mainstream rap was bullshit and then contridicting themselves by playing on Jay-Z’s live MTV album. Nas is jealous he ain’t getting an unplugged show.

The Beastie Boys are working on a new album.

Steve-O isn’t dead. Steve-O, sends us those fuckin DVD’s dude!

Aaron Farley likes himself so much he made a website about himself. www.aaronfarley.com he said he put up more photos today. Email him and ask him about France. Oh and on March 2nd at The Hotel Cafe (Marko’s joint on 1623 Cahuenga ave between Hollywood Blvd and Sunset Blvd) Aaron is showing off his photos, paintings and screen prints. We’re pretty sure the theme is naked dicks, but we’re not sure. Check it out.

The Hives haven’t sound this good before. Click here. Maybe the fact that Kylie Minogue is half naked riding a velvet bull has something to do with it…?

My So Called Band…
The pretty-boy guy from that sappy MTV “teen drama”, “My So Called Life”, Jared Leto, has a band. Yeah we know, who doesn’t have a band. They’re called 30 Seconds to Mars since the Frozen Embryos broke up. Even though none of us have heard their songs, we know they eat shit cause they’re going on tour with Puddle of Mudd in the not too distant future. Wow, now if that’s not perfect I dunno what is. Oh, and to make things even weirder, the guitar player from that old Vagrant band, Boxer, is in this band. Oh, and in case you didn’t know, Chris, the drummer of Dillinger Escape Plan was in that shitty band Boxer too. The magnetic pull of mall punk gash will do strange things to even the best of us

Bands are moving to… Portland?
Pleasure Forever got tired of all those hippies and dot com people, they’ve opted for rain and snow. Yup, they’ve picked up and moved from San Francisco to Portland. Portland is gonna have a lot more Orgies now that those guys live there. They’re also playing South by Southwest. Hiroshima-Nagasaki!

Speaking of moving to Portland, The Lost Kids have also picked up and headed north. Is Portland cool now? What are we missing? We thought it was all granola and shit. Hmm.

We do drugs now!
Two members of this month’s shiny happy Alternative Press cover boys, Saves the Day, were arrested for smoking the reefer in the Big Apple. The emo rockers ended up spending a day in jail. We wonder if they made any “friends” while inside the joint. At least they do drugs now. It’s a start. Good work guys.

Call Fred Durst on his cell…
We’ve got Fred Durst’s number while he’s out on the road looking for a replacement for the dude whose girl he banged. Call up his cell at 609.688.9228. If his assistant answers, tell him to put Fred on or else you’ll keep calling until Fred puts down the Doritos and gets his fat ass up off the couch. Boom.

Elliott didn’t get dropped…
We told you a while ago that Elliott Smith had been dropped from his label, Dreamworks, but actually he hasn’t been dropped. Here’s what happened, the label got his new record, realized that there wasn’t any “hits”, and is now going to allow him to release it on an Independent Label of his choice (Kill Rock Stars) and then he will release his next album on Dreamworks, because they can’t drop such a trophy artist no matter how few records he sells. An artist like Elliot only attracts other bands and the suits at Dreamworks know that it seems.

People covering Weezer should be punished.
We just got a “Weezer Tribute Album” in the mail today. No I’m not trying to be funny, we really got one. It’s bad enough that it’s a tribute for a shitty band that’s still around, but to make matters worse you’ve got bands like Dashboard Confessional, Midtown, Piebald, The Ataris, The Stereo, and The Impossibles which only add to the already high suck factor of this piece of plastic. Everyone involved should get kicked in the balls. Where’s my gun?

Bryan is doing vocals for some shitty movie…
Marilyn Manson has just entered a studio in Los Angeles to record a song called “Redeemer” that the singer guy with the moustache from Korn and Richard Gibbs from Oingo Boingo wrote for the upcoming “Queen of the Damned” film. That guy’s mustache is filthy by the way, like he’d be perfect to be in “German enema porno”. Aaron’s way into that type of thing, he’s leaving all his clothes behind so he can stuff his suitcase full of videos filled with guys giving each other shit beards. Go Aaron.

Dave…. BOXSET US!
The Foo Fighters are tracking vocals for their new record at a studio in Hollywood also. Hey Dave, I’ll trade you some colored vinyl of The Icarus Line’s album for a copy of that Nirvana song!

Umm but you didn’t sign the Gorillaz…
Dan the Automator signed to MCA Records. The press release the label sent out was amazing. 90% talked about how he is in the Gorillaz and how many records they sold and yada yada yada. HEY DIPSHIT OVER AT MCA WHO DOESNT KNOW THAT THE GORILLAZ ARE ON VIRGIN RECORDS… YOU SIGNED DAN THE AUTOMATOR NOT THE GORILLAZ!

Call someone who cares…
Call Tommy Lee up and tell him you know Kid Rock. 818.721.2162

Need some love advice? Call R. Kelly on his cell phone. 312.315.5407 or hit him up 2002 style on his 2-way pager. 312.213.1212

Call the singer of Lit, AJ, and tell him Buddyhead said he’s too old to write songs about high school. 714-626-3929.

Call up Rikki Rocket from Poison and ask him to Talk Dirty to You. 661.510.3170

Dillinger Escape Plan, and more importantly Shat, are on the road…
If you’re at a Dillinger Escape Plan show and you want Shat to play, this is what you do:
1. call jeff 973 879 5165 over and over, and ..beg him…tell him you’ll bring chicks and coke
2. yell “SHAT! SHAT! SHAT!” in unison during other bands sets.
3. send us money for drugs.
Here are the remaining dates on the Dillinger Escape Plan tour
2/01 West Columbia, SC @ Uncle Doctors
2/02 Memphis, TN @ Premier Palace
2/04 Tampa, FL @ Orpheum Theatre
2/05 Fort Lauderdale, FL @ Culture Room 3045 N. Federal Highway)
2/07 Tallahassee, FL @ The Cow Haus
2/08 New Orleans, LA @ The Shim Sham Club (w./SHAT)
2/09 Houston, TX @ Fitzgerald’s
2/10 Austin, TX @ Emo’s
2/11 Dallas, TX @ Canyon Club – Bronco Bowl Theatre
2/13 Albuquerque, NM @ Launchpad
2/14 Tuscon, AZ @ Muse
2/15 Tempe, AZ @ Boston’s
2/16 Las Vegas, NV @ Tremors (YOUR ENEMIES FRIENDS)
2/19 Pomona, CA @ The Glass House (W./ BOTCH, YOUR ENEMIES FRIENDS)
2/20 Los Angeles, CA @ the Troubador (W./ BOTCH, YOUR ENEMIES FRIENDS)
2/21 San Francisco, CA @ Great American Music Hall (w./BOTCH)
2/23 Portland, OR @ Meow Meow (W./ BOTCH, PLAYING ENEMY)
2/24 Seattle, WA @ Graceland (W./ BOTCH, PLAYING ENEMY)
2/27 Denver, CO @ Bluebird Theater
2/28 Kansas City, KS @ El Torreon
3/01 St. Paul, MN @ The Lab
3/02 Chicago, IL @ Fireside Bowl
3/03 Grand Rapids, MI @ the Intersection
3/04 Detroit, MI @ The Shelter
3/05 Cleveland, OH @ Agora Theatre
3/06 Syracuse, NY @ Armory High
3/07 New Haven, CT @ Toad’s Place
3/08 Boston, MA @ Bill’s Bar

Ex At The Drive-In Updates
Sparta (Non-afro’s: Jim, Paul, and Tony from At The Drive-In) have an EP called “Austere” that they will have out on Dreamworks in the spring. We’d tell you how it was, but those guys are blowing it and haven’t even given us a copy yet. Blaze, hook a brother up! Their full length that they tricked Dreamworks into paying big bucks for Jerry Finn to produce, will be out by summer. In the meantime, you can catch their live show at South by Southwest. Paul Hinojos of the band stated “When At the Drive-in went on hiatus, we waited to see if anything would change. Nothing did. There is nothing left to say except that ATDI is now defunct. Sparta is our present, our future, and we will put 110% of our energy and emotion into this. There is no looking back.” Three new Sparta songs are out there on the internet somewhere we hear: SANS COSM, LIGHTS BURN CLEAR, & TRAPEZE

On the other side of the At The Drive-In fence is The Mars Volta (featuring the ex afro members of At the Drive In: Omar and Cedric as well as members of Defacto) who have also just finished their new EP which will come out on GSL. Speaking of GSL, they put out the vinyl for the Pleasure Forever record and it’s really kickass, pick it up. That Lost Kids EP they put out is an ass kicker too. Been playing that when I DJ a lot. But Mars Volta is blowing it too. We haven’t heard their EP either. We’ll keep you posted on both these bands and their happenings.

Did we mention Omar is hung like a horse? Swear.

Guns N’ Roses aren’t back together, but…
Slash and Duff McKagan are collaborating with Izzy Stradlin on his upcoming solo album! The three ex-Guns N’ Roses members haven’t played together since the Use Your Illusion albums in 1991, when Stradlin left the band. As with his last three solo albums, Izzy wrote most of the material and sings on all the tracks. We’ve all got boners. But not in the gay way. Well Aaron’s is in the gay way, but that’s a permanent thing.

Slash is still planning to go to Japan with Ronnie Wood (Jeff Wood’s cousin) for a tour there in March. Dates will be announced soon. Also, Slash played ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ at the L.A. Lakers January 16th game against the Miami Heat at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Aaron was stoked on that cuz he’s a jock and likes sports.

Wanna drum for Slayer?
Slayer is looking for a new drummer. You can send a video tape of yourselves playing drums to Slayer songs and their manager is going to pick the best submissions who will then be invited to audition in person, some time in February in Dallas, San Francisco or Peoria, Illinois.

Aaron called us from Europe and said this:
Dear Guys!
“I’ve never been happier than when these two hungarian guys filled my holes with their dick snot, I can’t wait to get to sxsw so I can be in the center of a man orgy.”
-aaron icarus
It was something like that, I don’t know, we get high a lot. I’m sure it was close. Either way, we’ll all be at SXSW this year again. We’ll tell you about that later though. All you need to know for now is that Shat is playing the Buddyhead showcase at Emos along with Revolution Smile and Your Enemies Friends among others.

Praise Emo.
We finally figured out why Vagrant is selling so many records, they’re listed as a Christian label on Yahoo! Click here.

Speaking of Jesus-emo, Dashboard Confessional just shot a video that looks very much like a Staind video. Hey “Mainstream America”… get ready for a stern force-feeding of the watered down white guy music known as “EMO”. Coming to a TV set near you. Make sure to pick up the newest issue of that great publication, Teen People, which features a piece on Dashboard Confessional himself. It even lets you know how much he paid for his pants! We were wondering how much those set him back! Also check out the new issue of Interview Magazine, it features Dashboard wearing a shirt with the famous photo of Johnny Cash flipping off the camera. Not very Christ-like dude. But then again neither is nailing 16 year old fan gash in the back of your new Audi.

Skate or Die, Fred…
Heath Kirchart and Steve Berra now skate for Alien Workshop, who was voted the “hot” skate company in Rolling Stone. Jeremy said “By the way, thanks for the free shit!” Travis says “What Free shit?!? I didn’t get any free shit!” Travis also wants to know what’s up with him hearing Steve is buddies with Fred Durst now? What are you doing Steve? You’re blowing it! Stop hanging out with Fred and send over some decks dood!

What’s cool?
Also, in Rolling Stone, The Short Stop (a bar where lots of old scoobs hang out) in Los Angeles was given the “hot” bar award. No shit it’s hot in there, the ventilation is horrible and with all that hair and vintage clothes no wonder it’s hot.

Jeremy takes photos… did we mention he takes photos?
Piebald is on tour in Europe right now, while they are gone they have a new CD coming out with Jeremy’s photos all over that shit. Don’t hold it against him, Jeremy is a real swell guy. Ask him to show you his penis. Oh and buy shit from his website. www.day19.com

Yawn…
After The Strokes performance on Saturday Night Live their sales dropped. Bummer dudes. In other Strokes trivia, we found out that Julian, the singer, wasn’t just in the movie Big as a child, turns out he also had a small part in Air Bud 2 as one of the bench warmers. Our mistake. Also, on February 2nd (that’s tomorrow!), The Strokes will be putting people to sleep for just 2 dollars in Los Angeles. If you go to that show you are admitting you like to force small animal to have sex with you. Just letting you know now, you attend that show, and you are a small animal rapist!

Speaking of stroking, Courtney Love wants Julian to stroke her hole. She apparently debuted a song called “Julian I’m a Little Older than You” at her shitty new band Bastard’s gig in Ventura the other night. She says it’s about drugs, but we’re not buying that. Hit that shit young Casablanca.

Elijah Wood, the short guy in that retarded fucking elf movie that goes absolutely nowhere for three hours – Lord Of The Rings, waited in some huge line for tickets to see our favorite four car garage band, The Strokes. While in line he was quoted as saying “ I like them because they dress cool”. Yeah, you and all the rest of the suckers who got duped into liking that band. The people who like the strokes are the same people who are amazed when you show them how to light a fire with a match. We wonder if Elijah wore his dumb little elf costume to the show. Goddamn we hope so.

By the way, if you liked Lord of the Rings you’re a fucking nerd. Deal with it. Now give us your lunch money so we can buy drugs.

Justin Roy is now riding for Hollywood skateboards, who has yet to send us free shit. Travis is wondering if Jeremy is getting a lot of free shit or what…

Vendetta Red should give us money.

Hoobastank thought no one would notice when they picked the song with the stolen Refused riff for their single. Well, sorry dudes, we noticed. Your band fucking sucks.

New End Original have broken up. Seems the Drummer and bass player quit when their singer Jonah had an “Eddie Vedder moment” and was crowd surfing post show. Some people don’t wanna be in Pearl Jam.

Madonna was letting Tupac wreck her area on a very regular basis for a number of years before he died. Score Tupac!

Parties and ska hats…
Gideon Yago (of MTV and knowing Travis fame) and Sarah “buckets” Ultragrrrl threw a party type thing last night at the slipper room. We were supposed to tell you about it, but Travis was busying moving. Sarah sent in her report of what went down last night though. “Phantom Planet, The Faint, and Saves the Day all showed up in full force and danced with sluts as I turned the night into dance party usa. Sean Lennon got his groove on with some hot sluts who were 16 and hot on Gideon’s ass. I managed not to pass out or make out with anyone.” High five Sarah.

Speaking of Gideon Yago, we hear (for a good bald source no less) that he has taken to wearing a “ska like” pork pie hat. What’s up with that dood?

The day of love…
If you live in New York you don’t have to be alone on Valentine’s Day.
Date: February, 14th 2002
Location: Warsaw (261 Driggs Ave – Brooklyn NY)
Performances by: Cex, Sparrow (members of the Lapse, Hot Snakes, Delta 72, Lilies and Ink and Dagger), Calvin Johnson, The Witnesses (members of The Mooney Suzuki and The Rondelles) and The Aeffect. Tell those kids in the Aeffect they are from Florida and tell Don from Ink & Dagger that he plays guitar like a champion for a dude that mumbles as much as he does.

Animal Bikes made a video…
Some bands called, Animal Bikes, is having their video premiere party at Maxwell’s in Hoboken, NJ on Feb 10th at 730pm. We don’t know them, or at least we don’t think we do, but check it out cuz if you live in Jersey there isn’t anything else to do. Unless you’re going to the Rest-a-bit, but most of you aren’t “down like that”.

Poison the Well have an album full of shitty emo-mosh songs coming out. I’m sure a bunch of people care, but those people are dumb as shit.

Stop with the tribute albums for bands who are still around…
Someone thought a Supersuckers tribute album would be a good idea. People, please ask us if it’s a good idea before you actually go out, get all the bands to record the songs, press the cds, and yada yada… it’s so much easier if you come to Buddyhead with your ideas for records and we can tell you they totally suck before you go through all the effort of making it, it’ll save us all a lot of headaches. Cause really, we want to help. We really do. Anyhow that Supersucker comp features 17 bands no one cares about. Buy it here. ttp://jeanoroid.com/sike.htm or save your money and buy 2 copies of the soon to be released Shat CD entitled “the best of the Cunt Chronicles”. Yeah you’re better off getting the 2 copies of the Shat CD. That way, like if you meet this totally bomb gash or dude piece, you can impress them by giving them the ultimate love gift….Shat’s “best of the Cunt Chronicles” .
If you want to blow it and buy this shitty comp here’s what you’re in for:
THE DEVIL RAYS Evil Powers of Rock and Roll
BADWATER Non Addictive Marijuana
OSTERBURG Luck
SMACK PATSY I Say Fuck
LORDS OF VOLUME I Want the Drugs
BRENDA Marie
THE JEALOUS TYPE Girl I Know
WERNER & THE VON BRAUNS On the Couch
THE SPURNING Hell City, Hell
THE JEANO ROID EXPERIENCE Poor
LADYSPEED I’m A Bitch
STUDLEY HUSBAND RUBBINGS Sweet n Sour Jesus
LADY MONSTER Would You Care to Dance
PILLMAGNET Superpowers
SMACK ATTACK King of the Snakes
THE DEVIL RAYS Robin Hood Hills
THE HOLY SINNERS Supersuckers

Rich from the Black Halos just joined that shitty nu-metal band Amen. He is currently on tour with them in Australia getting chicks cuz people over there don’t know that Amen gobble up dicks.

Krist Novoselic of Nirvana and Bud Gaugh drummer of Sublime/Long Beach Dub Allstars started a band with the guitarist of the Meat Puppets. They are called Eyes Adrift, they will play at the Galaxy Theater in Santa Ana on Jan 31. Shit that was last night, I need to post this shit faster. Let’s just hope that the Sublime guy doesn’t try to start rapping or something. They played at the Troubadour last night but we were too stoned to make it. Krist, hook us up with a box set bro!

The singer from that really shitty band Silent Majority, has a new band that just got signed to Initial Records. They’re called Blood Red and has some of the guys from the band Inside (they were on Redwood Records I believe). We’re hoping the rest of the band didn’t follow suit, and instead are concentrating on their true life calling of custodial engineering at Peep Worlds throughout the N.Y. area.

Bomb Gash.
Supercult.com features some bomb gash. The girl in the bathtub is way bomb.

Rama is cashing in!
Jimmy Eat World changed their album title from “Bleed American” to “Jimmy Eat World”. The funny thing is, that singles record that Rama put out is already called that, so people are buying the singles record thinking it’s the album they just saw the video with naked kids in it. Rama is making loot!

Jets to Cub.
Jeremy Chatelain from Jets to Brazil has a “solo emo” record coming out on Jade Tree called Cub Country. The sadness will even be taken on tour featuring both Chris and Blake from Jets on drums and piano respectively. High Fives to anyone who yells Jawbreaker songs at them. We bet those guys like bird watching and crying at Meg Ryan Movies.

Tsunami Bomb is signing to Sony for a bajillionty dollars.

Bubba and Missy… fat hip hop love…
We told you a while ago that, fat white guy rapper, Bubba Sparxxx has been blowing loads on Missy Elliot the past few months. Well the word on the street now is that he’s knocked Missy up. We can’t really confirm this seeing as Missy always looks pregnant, but I guess we will all know in 9 months.

Mike Ski (from Brother’s Keeper) got stabbed in the leg when Until the End played CBGB’s last week. We hope he’s OK. Mike.. avoid watching shitty bands play shitty music and this type of thing won’t happen. Well, it might, but you won’t be listening to some dorks from Florida playing mosh songs when it does.

“Coby Dick”, the singer of Papa Roach, was spotted outside of a Wesley Willis concert in Sacramento a few nights ago. He was drunk, stumbling around, and singing Wesley’s lyrics. He’s just jealous that his band isn’t that good.

Will Records have their dick in Grandaddy’s asshole!
Grandaddy’s old label is going to release one of their old albums without the bands consent… here’s what the band said about it:
“1-16-01 Hello again. It has been brought to our attention that Will Records, our former label, is planning to release a “new” record by “us” on February 19, entitled Concrete Dunes. Please be advised that this album arrives without our input or knowledge. It consists primarily of The Broken Down Comforter Collection, which I have usually seen in stores for less money than Concrete Dunes is selling for. We were not involved in the decision to re-release or repackage this album. We first saw the incredibly questionable artwork, title, and new track listing on the internet, after being given the heads up by a friend. The additional material does not merit a re-release in our opinion, and could be considered grossly opportunistic. I think that it’s probably illegal for us to discourage you from buying it, so I won’t actually verbalize that sentiment. Again, at the risk of sounding incredibly redundant, we have nothing to do with the release of a record entitled Concrete Dunes. Pleasant afternoon to everyone.”

Placebo are splitting up.

Portishead has a new cd coming out in April. Look for a full U.S. arena rock tour supporting Shat by summer.

Snoop Dogg’s triple-X video, “Snoop Dogg’s Doggystyle,” won two trophies at the 2002 Adult Video News Awards last week. Tom has that flick, he’s “used” it many times. He says he’s backing it.

We’re like, popular.
Some guy at TVT thinks we rule. He posted his top 5 at http://www.thetripwire.com/cs_playerpicks.php
and we made number 5! Oh boy! Hey dude.. send us Kool Keith vinyl if we rule so much. Might as well throw in whatever else you put out too so we can sell it at Amoeba for something good.
Tom Mullen
TVT Records
Astoria, NY
01. the static age – www.thestaticage.com
02. ON THE MIGHT OF PRINCES!!!
03. orange county – jables makes me laugh
04. tape op magazine – for the recording nerd
05. buddyhead.com – getting to be velvetrope.com

No Motiv are shopping themselves around to majors…

Nick Z. from Paris, Texas wears the same creepy brown pants every day. He hasn’t washed them in years. His testicles are filthy.

Thursday is shopping their new cd around… mostly major labels. The buzz started when some A&R guy found out they played a show with At The Drive-In.

Girls Against Boys is currently recording their latest album with veteran noise producer Ted Niceley in Brooklyn, New York. It will include 11-12 new songs and will be released on Jade Tree records.

The Hives are still fat and people like them now cuz they read they should in Spin. People are stupid.

Tom Petty is smoking a lot of dope and trying to record some new songs anyone would give a shit about at Cello studios on Sunset. His posse of fat and mustached hippies is perving on the girls hanging around a different band recording there. Fuck.

So Mojo went under a while back. That old-guy pop-punk band, Goldfinger, that was on Mojo is now on Jive. Yeah, the same label that has the best boy bands now has Goldfinger! I’m sure everyone at Jive is jerking themselves off over that score! Double High Fives all around the office.

Reader mail
(KFOLEY28@HOTMAIL.COM): ‘dude, you guys probably don’t care but it’s from the atomjack list serve “P.S. Has anyone ever noticed that it is that motley Buddyhead crew who are the biggest zombie-like weenies at shows? Too much Nyquil, I tells ya :] ” just kinda nice to be referenced. . . oh and you guys should DIY bowl.’

(mwdropout@aol.com): ‘Sunday night in Vegas a band opening for ataris wannabe’s Rufio were all sporting Icarus Line shirts!! How bomb is that brah? Also I have seen Pennywise sporting a shoot pigs in the face buddyhead.com shirt.’

(nuttymong@aol.com): ‘http://members.aol.com/nuttymong/cheapblueCLOVE.jpg – picture of courtney (she offered to buy me, 19, a drink) taken that night at the troubadour, also that article in Spin mentions someone yelling One Armed Scissors, t’was me. Zack Wolk. :D’

Buddyhead/Cave In video interview… it’s not all that neato.
Some kid from Atlanta who does a nice band photography site, tried to do a Buddyhead/Cave In video interview with us and Adam and Stephen of Cave In when we were on tour, but it ended up being pretty chaotic. It’s pretty pointless and basically goes no where, but Aaron does come out of the closet. He says he’s into doods, finally. Click here.

A christian reviewing “Mono”…
Some christian/music/record-label site decapolis.com just ran a review of The Icarus Line’s “Mono”. The writer actually describes them as “Black Flag/Braid combo”. We were thinking “Pansy Division/Propaghandi”. Click here.

The Icarus Line in AP.
The Icarus Line got a mention in an article called “100 bands you need to know in 2002″ that’s in the new AP. At least one guy over there is smart. He also picked Lightning Bolt (who fucking rule, and if our best of 2001 list ever comes out, they’re on there too), Mars Volta, The Locust, and Convocation Of. The rest of the picks are pretty shitty. But props to Aaron Burgess for being an ass kicker.
“The Icarus Line recall the glorious, dangerous days of 90’s noise rock, when Drive Like Jehu were ruling the West Coast, the Jesus Lizard were Midwestern fat cats and Helmet were the dons of New York. And as all three of those bands eventually crept into the mainstream, so too are these guys poised to make that leap. Not that there’s anything market-friendly about the Icarus Line’s approach, Clad in matching badass red-and-black outfits, they’re known more for wrecking stages than for starting trends. And thanks to a direct connection with the Fred Durst-hating underground bile portal Buddyhead.com (guitarist aaron North co-runs the site) they’ve already become infamous as the band you simply must love to hate.” – Aaron Burgess

Hot Snakes are playing Michigan Fest!
Makoto Recordings is doing Michigan Fest again this year.
When: March 22nd-24th
Where: Wayne, MI
Venue: Wayne Tree Manor
Address: 35100 Van Born Road
Wayne, MI 48184 (2 miles from Detroit Metro Airport)
Confirmed acts for Michigan Fest 2002 include:
The Hot Snakes (1 of 2 live dates for 2002)
Planes Mistaken For Stars
The Dismemberment Plan
Death Cab for Cutie
Arab on Radar
Milemarker
The Liars
Vaz (ex-Hammerhead)
Haymarket Riot
Creation is Crucifixion
Few and Far Between
Coalesce
Dillinger 4
Isis
Hey Mercedes
Small Brown Bike
Sweep the Leg Johnny (last non-Chicago show)
The Rye Coalition
The Honor System
The Casket Lottery
Inside Five Minutes
The Arrivals
Berwer
Crooked Fingers
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Radio 4
Pleasure Forever
Silkworm
Crush Kill Destroy
Aloha
The Leaving Rouge
!!!
End It
The Mercury Program

Love And Rockets frontman is going solo bitch!
Daniel Ash, from the ass-kicking and name-taking bands called “Love and Rockets” (go buy the album entitled “Sweet F.A.” if you don’t have it. The F.A. stands for Fuck All, pretty cool eh?), has a solo record coming out on February 5th called “Daniel Ash”. How clever. A little more Daniel trivia for you: he was in the movie Grosse Pointe Blank and is currently in nationwide TV and radio commercials for Starburst. He’s also going on tour. We’re gonna be there.
Fri-Mar-01 Santa Ana Galaxy Theater
Sun-Mar-03 San Diego Brick By Brick
Tue-Mar-05 Los Angeles Roxy Theater
Wed-Mar-06 San Francisco Slim’s
Fri-Mar-08 Portland Aladdin Theater
Sat-Mar-09 Seattle Crocodile Cafe
Sun-Mar-10 Vancouver T.B.A.
Tue-Mar-12 Salt Lake City T.B.A
Wed-Mar-13 Denver Bluebird Theater
Fri-Mar-15 Minneapolis First Avenue
Sat-Mar-16 Chicago Metro
Sun-Mar-17 Detroit The Magic Bag
Mon-Mar-18 Toronto 279 Club
Tue-Mar-19 Cleveland The Agora Ballroom
Wed-Mar-20 Pittsburgh Club Laga
Fri-Mar-22 Washington DC Black cat
Sat-Mar-23 Philadelphia Trocadero
Sun-Mar-24 Long Island Down Town
Mon-Mar-25 New York City The Bowery
Wed-Mar-27 Boston The Paradise
Thu-Mar-28 Buffalo The Continental of Buffalo

Beer and guys in shorts.
Flogging Molly has a new album coming out that sounds just like the last one and they are gonna be on… Wooooo! The Warped Tour. Sounds fun guys. The other shitty bands that will be on the tour are mighty mighty bosstones, nofx, lagwagon, new found glory, reel big fish, no use for name, good charlotte, and the casualties. But before the jock rock summer fantasy trip, they are playing some clubs. Go get drunk at em kids!
3/14/02 Los Angeles, CA @ Troubadour
3/15/02 Los Angeles, CA @ Troubadour
3/16/02 Los Angeles, CA @ Troubadour
3/17/02 San Diego, CA @ 4th & B Theater
3/19/02 Ventura, CA @ Ventura Theater
3/20/02 Anaheim, CA @ House Of Blues
3/22/02 Tempe, AZ @ The Bash on Ash
3/23/02 Albuquerque, NM @ Launchpad

Pop Punk on the road.
Hide the beer and tattoo guns cuz the Alkaline Trio are going on tour. First they’ll be in vegas at the BYO punk rock bowling tournament (that we never get invited to, cuz we’re not punk enough) where Travis is gonna drink Matt under the table. Here are the dates dorks.
2/16 Hurricane Harrys (BYO Bowling Tournament) 3190 W. Saharah Las Vegas NV
2/19 House of Blues 1530 S. Disneyland Ave. Anaheim, CA
2/21 Cane’s 3105 Oceanfront Walk San Diego CA
2/22 Living Room 430 Fairview St. Santa Barbara
2/23 House of Blues 8439 Sunset Blvd. West Hollywood CA
2/24 Great American Music Hall 859 O’farrell St. San Francisco, CA

This guy plays folk and went to school with Travis…
Josh Ritter is going on tour. If you like decent folk music or just wanna meet someone who went to high school with Travis check his show out.
01/31/02 Freight & Salvage, Berkeley CA – 7pm
02/02/02 The Mint, Los Angeles CA – 7:45pm
02/03/02 Java Joe’s, San Diego CA – 8pm
02/06/02 Aladdin Theatre, Portland OR – 8pm
02/07/02 Sam Bond’s Garage, Eugene OR
02/08/02 Tractor Tavern, Seattle WA – 6pm
02/09/02 Wilda Marston Theatre, Anchorage Alaska – 8pm
02/10/02 Gothic Theatre, Denver CO – 8pm

Bluebird are doing shit.
Bluebird is putting the final touches on their ‘ambient-esque” full length for Dopamine Records. The record is entitled ‘Black Presence’ and will be out in the Spring. They’ve started pre-production of sorts on the 2nd full length, this one to be released on Dim Mak records and will be out in late Spring/early Summer. They will start the actual recording of it in February. Speaking of Dim Mak, Steve is such a good guy that he released “The Two”, Bluebirds last full length on vinyl. You can order it directly from their website if you like or wait til the end of this week and the band will have some in their web store on colored vinyl! www.bluebirdsounds.com In regards to vinyl, Bluebird will be releasing a split 7 inch later this year with friends from the nation’s capitol Dead Meadow on Buddyhead. Speaking of Dead Meadow, they will be playing some shows with Bluebird starting later this week.
2/1 TROUBADOR-LA, CA
2/2 CASBAH-San Diego, CA
2/3 BOTTOM OF THE HILL-SF, CA

Her Space Holiday on the road.
Her Space Holiday are out with The Gloria Record. Go see them. Their new record is pretty good.
Jan 24 Montreal, QC @ Casa Del Popolo
Jan 25 Ottowa, QC @ Sandy Hill Community Centre
Jan 26 Boston, MA @ Middle East
Jan 27 New York, NY @ Knitting Factory
Jan 29 Philadelphia, PA @ TBA
Jan 30 Richmond, VA @ Swingers
Jan 31 Chapel Hill, NC @ Go Rehearsal Studios
Feb 01 Columbia, SC @ New Brookland Tavern
Feb 02 Atlanta, GA @ The Earl
Feb 03 Nashville, TN @ The End
Feb 04 New Orleans, LA @ Mermaid Lounge
Feb 05 Houston, TX @ Mary Jane’s
Feb 06 Dallas, TX @ Gypsy Tea Room
Feb 07 Austin, TX @ Mercury

Go see Toys That Kill. They’re punk dude.
feb 3rd upland @ the ale house
feb 25th @ the garage FREE
mar 9th @ mr.t’s bowl

Coalesce is doing a reunion tour.
Tom’s all excited like a little school girl..
3/21 Lawrence KS Bottleneck w/ Saved By Grace, Casket Lottery
3/22 Chicago IL Fireside Bowl w/ Casket Lottery, Miasis
3/23 Michigan Fest
3/24 Cleveland OH Agora Ballroom w/ Craw
3/25 Worcester MA Palladium w/ ISIS, Cancer Conspiracy
3/26 S. Amboy NJ Krome w/ Burnt By the Sun, Manhunt
3/27 Philly PA TLA w/ Starkweather, Burnt By the Sun, more
3/28 New York NY CBGB’s w/ ISIS, Skycamefalling, more
4/3 Seattle WA Graceland w/ Playing Enemy, Eniac, Wormwood
4/4 Portland OR @ Meow, Meow w/ Eniac, more
4/5 San Fran CA The Pound w/ Blessing The Hogs, Eniac
4/6 Los Angeles CA Troubadour w/ CUAD, Eniac, more
4/7 Anaheim CA Chain Reaction w/ Eniac
4/8 San Diego CA Epicentre w/ Eniac, Max Million
4/9 Tucson AZ The Muse w/ Playing Enemy, Eniac, more
4/11 Dallas TX The Door w/ Eniac, more
4/12 Austin TX Emo’s w/ Eniac, more
4/13 Houston TX Mary Jane’s w/ Eniac, more

Victory Records has signed a Long Island band, Taking Back Sunday. Tom’s pissed.

Glassjaw has left Roadrunner, because the label wouldn’t let them tour with Nickelback. They are heading out alone:
February 15th Providence, RI – Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel
February 16th Boston, MA – Palladium
February 17th Philadelphia, PA – Electric Factory
February 18th Washington D.C. – 9:30 Club
February 19th Albany, NY – Northern Lights
February 24th Hartford, CT – Webster Theatre
February 25th Rochester, NY – Water Street Music Hall
February 26th Pittsburgh, PA – Metropol
March 01st Asbury Park, NJ – Convention Center
March 02nd New York, NY – Roseland Ballroom
March 04th Columbus, OH – Newport
March 05th Indianapolis, IN – Egyptian Room
March 06th Cincinnati, OH – Bogart’s
March 07th Detroit, MI – State Theatre
March 08th Chicago, IL – Riviera Theatre
March 09th Milwaukee, WI – Modjeska Theatre
March 11th Minneapolis, MN – Quest
March 12th Iowa City, IA – Main Lounge
March 13th St. Louis, MO – The Pageant
March 19th Portland, OR – TBA
March 21st Eugene, OR – McDonald Theatre
March 22nd Chico, CA – Rose Garden
March 25th Santa Cruz, CA – Civic Auditorium
March 27th La Jolla, CA – RIMAC
March 28th Los Angeles, CA – The Palladium
March 30th Las Vegas, NV – Desert Breeze Skate Park

Hide your Anniversary bootlegs…
Pretty Girls Make Graves are coming to town, and Derek’s way into to wussy music. Oh look they are even gonna let those kids from Orange County, Your Enemies Friends, play a show or two.
jan.7th graceland w/the bloodbrothers. 21 and over
jan.8th SF. bottom of the hill w/pleasure forever.all ages
jan.9th SD. THIS SHOW HAS MOVED TO CLUB XANTH w/your enemies friends.all ages
jan.10th LA. koos cafe w/bullet train to vegas.all ages
jan.11th Las vegas,NV. Tremors w/ the icarus line /bullet train to vegas..all ages
jan.12th LA. the troubadour w/the icarus line..all ages
jan.13th Santa Barbara..the living room…all ages
jan.25th oly all ages
feb.2nd.seattle.old firehouse w/botch /the bloodbrothers

Call Jeff Wood on tour right now 973 879 5165…the Shat Hotline