Perhaps you’ve spent some time checking out some of the other year end lists. What a bummer it is to find out that “music journalists” well past their 30th birthday who steer the ship for magazines such as Spin, Rolling Stone, NME, etc etc are listening to Green Day and My Chemical Romance. It’s pop punk you fucking twinkies! Since when did music magazines start polling Junior High schools for the year end lists? Spin wins the prize for “most retarded article” where they asked Juliette Lewis what her favorite records of 2004 were! Like we’re all sitting on the edge of our seats to see what some actress is listening to.

Mclusky broke up.

The newest Motley Crue single was actually originally written by that mall punk band Simple Plan for their “Still Not Getting Any” album. That producer dude Bob Rock worked on both band’s albums, and showed the unused Simple Plan song to the Crue. Then Nikki Sixx re-wrote some of the lyrics, and they changed the name of the song to “If I Die Tomorrow”. Awesome, now these idiots don’t even write their own shitty songs.

Speaking of shitty glam rock bands from the 80’s… Bon Jovi just put out a boxset called “100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong” which is “four hours of unreleased Jovi” and includes “no hits”. These statements inspire two motherfucking questions… The first: Bon Jovi has four hours worth of unreleased songs just laying around? The second: Who in the fuck is buying this shit?

Speaking of shitty boxsets, we’re still bummed about the Nirvana one. Jack Endino recently explained in an interview one of the reasons it turned out so wack:
“This past summer, we got word that the box set was going to happen, yes, really truly this time. Having been semi-officially researching material for the box with co-conspirator Gillian Gaar since 1998, it was hard to believe it, but sure enough, the starting gun was fired, and it became a frenzy to make sure we had the best sources, and the correct credits and dates. A deadline crunch happened at the end, with Silva Artist Management (for Krist and Dave) and Courtney’s people (Peter Asher, for Sanctuary) trying to agree on a final track listing for the box set, as the deadline for the booklet art and layout got nearer. That’s why there’s a picture of the FECAL MATTER cassette in the booklet, but no music from it; Courtney’s people decided that it was not really ‘NIRVANA’ (i.e. it’s Kurt and Dale only, so why share it with Nirvana LLC?) and held it back at the last minute, which is why the set starts with ‘Heartbreaker’, which would not have been my choice. At the VERY last minute, Silva Mgmt got access to a trove of ‘Kurt cassettes’ that Courtney has been talking about for years. That’s where ‘Mrs. Butterworth’ and a few other things on the box (mostly acoustic stuff) came from, literally out of the blue in the final weeks of preparation for the box.”
This still doesn’t explain why they held out on a lot of the good Peel session stuff, etc etc. They also apparently forgot to credit Pat Smear for his guitar playing on some of the later era home recordings. And by the way, where’s MTV Unplugged on dvd? Where’s “Sold Out Tonight” on dvd? Where’s Halloween 1991 in Seattle in its entirety on dvd? Where’s a simple collection of all the music videos? Give up the goods you fucking horders!!! I can buy a dvd of Blink 182 making fart noises for 2 hours, but I can’t watch “Smells Like Teen Spirit” on a dvd? What the fucky?

Oasis is in the middle of recording their new album with D Sardy. Homeboy also just finished the new Hot Hot Heat album, which took awhile cos the guitar player quit in the middle of the record. Word on the street is that Sardy played a good portion of guitar on the record by himself.

D Sardy also just recently recorded some Paul Westerburg tunes for some goofy cartoon movie that’s coming out in like, 2007. Apparently Tommy Stinson played on some of the stuff. YEAH BITCH, THE FUCKING REPLACEMENTS! Josh Freeze played drums on the session to give it that Puddle of Mudd and Avril feel.

Speaking of Puddle of Crud, the singer is a smack junkie now. Homeboy is trying to embody his Kurt Cobain fixation as close as possible. Hey dude, do you think Kurt Cobain would have driven around town in a fucking bright yellow Hummer with chrome wheels too?! You fucking moron. Now if we can just get that dude to invest in a shotgun…

PJ Harvey recently announced from stage that it would be her last show ever, and she would be retiring from the music world. That’s a bummer… but not as big of a bummer as that last record she made.

Apparently the Vines will never tour again as well. This is a lot like being told you won’t have to endure anymore anal cavity searches…

Remember that International Noise Conspiracy album that was supposed to come out a year ago? It’s not coming out. Their big corporate major label they signed to has shelved the album. Talk about irony.

Aaron needs a crack for Reason 2.5, and possibly some of the software… anybody wanna trade for a BJ? Email aaron@buddyhead.com

According to a recent mag article that interviewed hip-hop groupies, Jay Z has a massive shlong. Apparently it is, “The biggest you will ever see in your life. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. It could block out the sun.” Yeah, basically Beyonce is squatting on a Pepsi bottle.

We addressed our feelings towards that band Amen on the best and worst list, but for another opinion, here is what a recently departed guitar player named Rich Jones had to say about the band and their singer Karim Chmielinski (aka Crazy Chaos or whatever he’s called):
“Alright, I’ve kept relatively quiet since leaving the band, even tolerating Casey’s bullshit that he was telling people about why I left (wisdom teeth, rehab, etc.). To be honest, I’ve never been interested in mudslinging about this kind of stuff. I truly believed that when I left the band it was my business as to why and mine only. Dwelling on the past is, in my opinion, a colossal waste of time.
“Since then, however, Casey’s constant deception and distortion of the truth, coupled with his feeble attempts to discredit me and other members, have resulted in me writing this letter and telling my side of the story.
“I spent almost 3 years of my life in AMEN, playing in the band because I truly believed that it was an honest, passionate band that was built around the punk rock ethic. Spending years doing van tours in the BLACK HALOS, sleeping on floors and living on next-to no money was something I was used to, and AMEN was no different. Casey always refers to AMEN as a ‘working-class band,’ which is pretty funny talk from a guy who has never actually worked a day job in his life. As I soon found out, Mom and Dad’s money (aka ‘my skateboarding money’) was always there when there wasn’t any money for him to embezzle from the band. At first I never questioned the fact that he would keep all the money and give us nothing, because he apparently had ‘outstanding debts from the old band members ripping him off’ (a story which I’m sure he still throws around to the current guys). However, after a while, the piss-take got to be a bit too much. After receiving a $50,000 advance for the DVD, Casey gives the band $300 each. After bringing in over £40,000 in merch on a tour, we get $800 and he goes home and buys his girlfriend a car and expands his already massive record collection. While we’re sleeping on my cousin’s floor in London, he’s in a hotel in Gloucester Road, taking people out for dinners and spending hundreds of pounds every day in record shops. And when we finally got the long-awaited record deal, no one saw a single penny of it except Casey. As I’m sure you’ve heard, his argument is that it’s all justified because he let us all stay at his house while we were in the band but here’s a fucking newsflash: we had to stay at his house because we couldn’t afford to live anywhere because he was taking all the money from the band!
“So let’s get to the contract. To understand this contract entirely you have to understand the motivations behind why it exists in the first place. So here’s some history:
“When we started the April tour this year, Casey’s pill-popping was at a peak. His self-medicating due to imagined medical conditions made him a deeply unpleasant person at the best of times. And at the worst of times…well, you can ask Ross Robinson or Harry about that. By the time we got to Oxford, we had a drum tech who was ready to walk out because Casey had pushed a stack of amps on him and 2 kids who were hurt when Casey threw a cymbal stand into the crowd. Not big, not clever. We all knew the risks of onstage injuries when we joined the band and we never had a problem with it. But when you start putting innocent kids at risk to prove how ‘punk rock’ you are(n’t), then it becomes a problem. Fast-forward to the day of the infamous Virgin instore and Casey was in top form. He’d already thrown a rock-star fit because nobody had brought his bags upstairs for him. God forbid you do it yourself, eh Iggy? Then he had another little tantrum because people’s phones (including his) were ringing during a Metal Hammer interview. By the time we hit the stage, he was singing as bad as usual and smashing the shit out of the place. All in a day’s work, no problem there. But by the time we got to the signing, he was incoherent, abusive to fans, band and store staff alike. Check out the scar on my arm sometime if you want proof. Finally, after slumping out on the table, telling a fan to ‘fuck off’ and then shouting abuse at John (our tech, my cousin) in front of everyone, I called him a cunt, got up, walked off and quit the band.
“To make a long story short, by the end of that day, the rest of the guys had quit as well, tired of his rock star antics and money grabbing ways. However, we were being besieged by calls from our agent, management and PR person who were all freaking out about the shows that were scheduled. So in the interest of doing the right thing for the people that had worked so hard for us, and the fans that had bought tickets to the shows, we decided to agree to resume the tour and fulfill our commitments. Hence the contract. If we were going to go back on the road, there needed to be a set of guidelines so that Casey couldn’t keep treating people like shit, endangering the audience, and ripping us off in the process. And the only way for us to make him stick to the deal, we had to hit him where it hurts, in the only the thing he cares about: his wallet.
“If you read the contract, you’ll see that we ask for a fair and equal split of the profits amongst all 5 members at the end of the tour (something that we’d NEVER had before. Punk rock values, eh?) and a penalty for Casey if he acted like a cock. Of course, no one expected to get this penalty. I mean, where would the money come from? But we wanted the threat to be hanging over his head and we wanted him to know how deadly serious we were. No more bullshitting allowed.
“So after a late night meeting at Sanctuary Management’s office, we resumed the tour. I was still sticking to the fact that I was leaving after it was done, and the rest of the guys were going to go back to the U.S. and tour home. And that’s what happened. Nobody actually signed the contract, the guys got home, did the Japanese shows (for which they were supposed to get paid and, surprise!, didn’t). Then everyone quit and the shit-talking started.
“So there’s my side of the story. There’s a lot more I could tell but this is long enough and I don’t have a lawyer handy to keep me out of trouble. It’s too bad that it ended like this and left a bitter taste in all of our mouths. Still, I’m sure ol’ Karim Chmielinski (you know…) will continue to stick to his ways in the names of false integrity and punk for profit. Childish behaviour for a 40-year old man. But I’m sure some people will keep believing him and others will let him keep burning his bridges. At this point, I couldn’t care less. If asking for a fair share and not wanting to put up with primadonna antics makes me a sell-out or less punk rock, then bring it on, fuckers.
“I’m not asking anyone to take sides and this is the last I’m going to say about the subject. I’ve always treated AMEN fans with respect and I have no reason to start lying to you now. Think about it…”

Our hippy folky freakshow night went rather well last month at the Hotel Café. Aaron even got up and got his earthdog on, harmonica holder and everything. In case ya missed it, you can catch him playing around town at Sea Level Records on January 28th, which is a benefit for Tsunami victims, or at that club next to the Troubadour that’s usually filled with dudes wearing Fubu on February 20th. Dimitri Coats from the Burning Brides will be performing solo at those shows as well, so come and check it out.

The guitar player for that Liars band quit so he could go back to school. An angel loses its wings every time someone quits a band and goes to school.

Gang Of Four are getting back together. They figured if everyone else was cashing in on their sound right now, they might as well too. Gang Of Four will be playing at Coachella this year, along with New Order, Nine Inch Nails, Coldplay, Wolf Eyes, and a bunch of other bands.

William Reid, one of the Jesus and Mary Chain brothers, is in Los Angeles preparing to record a solo album that is said to be a “rock record”. The other Mary Chain dude, jim, is in a pretty mediocre band with his girlfriend in London called Freeheat. But it’s not really worth checking out, so ignore this.

Fat Mike and Joe Escalante are beefing. Joe is planning on fucking fat boy up with his “smarts”. He is a lawyer ya know… Fatty is just planning on smothering his tiny ass with his massive girth. Joe has a gun though, so he wins.

The new Warped Tour is called “Taste of Choad”. Thousands of metrosexual kids with ties, stupid haircuts, and mascara are stoked.

Shat is playing two shows… in Florida this weekend. Shat also has a messageboard now. So if you’re one of those dorks who’s been emailing us non stop for the past four years crying that we don’t have a messageboard, go here and waste your life away.

Radio Vago is mixing their debut album this week that was produced by slOmar Rodriguez, the fifth sour cream burrito from The Mars Volta. Shit sounds nice from what we’ve heard so far and it only took them two years… lets hear it for Radio Vago! We’ll get it in stores sometime before 2007.

Our friend Tommy Stinson is hitting the road in support of his solo record. Go out and see this dude slay if he comes through your shitty town. Also, check homeboy’s website out. http://www.tommystinson.com/
Jan 21 Fargo, ND House of Rock
Jan 22 Minneapolis, MN Uptown Bar
Jan 23 Milwaukee, WI Shank Hall
Jan 25 Detroit, MI Smalls
Jan 27 Buffalo, NY The Mohawk Place
Jan 28 Long Branch, NJ Brighton Bar
Jan 29 New York, NY Mercury Lounge
Jan 30 Cambridge, MA Middle East
Feb 02 Philadelphia, PA World Cafe Live
Feb 03 Brooklyn, NY Southpaw
Feb 04 Arlington, VA IOTA Cafe
Feb 05 Chapel Hill, NC Cat’s Cradle
Feb 07 Atlanta, GA Smithe’s Olde Bar
Feb 08 Nashville, TN The Exit Inn
Feb 09 Lexington, KY TBA
Feb 10 Chicago, IL The Double Door
Feb 11 Cedar Falls, IO The Reverb

Speaking of dudes who know Axl Rose, Gilby Clarke is playing in that DKT/MC5 thing now. Here’s what the new lineup for these dudes looks like:
Michael Davis
Wayne Kramer
Dennis Thompson
Lisa Kekaula (BellRays, Basement Jaxx)
Handsome Dick Manitoba (Dictators)
Gilby Clarke (Guns ‘n’ Roses)
They’ll be hitting the road again playing all the hits at these places. Check it out…
Sat 19-Feb SPAIN, BARCELONA at Razzmatazz 3
Sun 20-Feb SPAIN, MADRID at Sala Arena
Mon 21-Feb FRANCE, BORDEAUX at 4 Sans
Tue 22-Feb FRANCE, BREST at Vauban
Wed 23-Feb FRANCE, Lille at Aeronef
Thu 24-Feb BELGIUM, BRUSSELS at Ancienne Belgique
Fri 25-Feb UK, LONDON at Royal Festival Hall with Sun Ra Arkestra
Sun 27-Feb ITALY, TURIN at Hiroshima
Mon 28-Feb ITALY, TREVISO at New Age
Fri 4-Mar GREECE, ATHENS at Gargarin 205
Sat 5-Mar GREECE, THESSALONICA at Mylos

Quite shortly The Icarus Line will be spreading their sound like a bad case of anal-herpes across The United States Of America and Canadia. They’ll be sharing the stage with such radical bands as Dead Meadow, Battles, Nardwuar’s band – The Evaporators (who are doing the whole west coast… FUCK YES!), 400 Blows, and Year Future. Travis is staying home this tour cuz someone’s gotta work on shit while Aaron’s playing rock star. If ya wanna be the super cool fan dork up front who knows the new songs before everybody else, you can download the band’s latest BBC session they did in London recently here: PART 1 PART 2. The 2 new songs are called “Skipping Church” and “Frankfurt Smile”. There’s a half assed Black Flag cover on there too where Joe apparently doesn’t remember the words. Also, if you aren’t a limey, chances are ya haven’t heard the Funkadelic cover that’s a b-side on the “Party the Baby Off” single cuz that shit is like 40 bucks on import. Check that out here: Speedsick & Hit It & Quit It. Oh yeah, like we said before, if ya wanna get into any of the shows for free, find Aaron beforehand and give him Ritalin and a gay blowjob out back. Just Ritalin should work too.
THE ICARUS LINE:
06 22 04 – Austin, TX @ Emo’s (with 400 Blows)
06 23 04 – New Orleans, LA @ One Eyed Jacks (with 400 Blows)
06 24 04 – Atlanta, GA @ Echo Lounge (with 400 Blows)
06 25 04 – Orlando, FL @ The Social (with 400 Blows)
06 26 04 – Columbia, SC @ New Brookland Tavern (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
06 27 04 – Carrboro, NC @ Cat’s Cradle (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
06 29 04 – Washington, DC @ Black Cat (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
06 30 04 – Baltimore, MD @ Fletcher’s (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 01 04 – Philadelphia, PA @ The Khyber (with Dead Meadow, 400 Blows & Trouble Everyday)
07 02 04 – Boston, MA @ Middle East (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 03 04 – Ottawa, ONT @ The Capital Music Hall (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 04 04 – Toronto, ONT @ Mod Club (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 05 04 – New York, NY @ Knitting Factory (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 06 04 – Pittsburgh, PA @ The World (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 07 04 – Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 08 04 – London, ONT @ Call The Office(?!)(with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)
07 09 04 – Detroit, MI @ Shelter (with Battles & Dead Meadow)
07 10 04 – Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave Bar (with Battles & Dead Meadow)
07 11 04 – Chicago, IL @ The Bottom Lounge (with Battles & Dead Meadow)
07 12 04 – Minneapolis, MN @ 7th Street Entry (with Battles & Dead Meadow)
07 13 04 – Des Moines, IA @ Hairy Mary’s (with Battles)
07 14 04 – Omaha, NE @ Ranch Bowl (with Battles)
07 15 04 – Lawrence, KS @ The Bottleneck (with Battles)
07 16 04 – Denver, CO @ Larimer Lounge (with Battles)
07 17 04 – Salt Lake City, UT @ Lo-Fi Cafe (with Battles)
07 19 04 – Vancouver, BC @ Richard’s on Richards (with Battles and The Evaporators)
07 20 04 – Victoria, BC @ Lucky Bar (with Battles)
07 21 04 – Seattle, WA @ Crocodile Café (with Battles and The Evaporators)
07 22 04 – Portland, OR @ Dante’s (with Battles)
07 23 04 – San Francisco, CA @ The Pound (with Battles and The Evaporators)
07 24 04 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Roxy (with Battles, Year Future, and The Evaporators)
07 25 04 – Anaheim, CA @ Chain Reaction (with Battles and The Evaporators)
07 27 04 – San Diego, CA @ The Casbah (with Battles, Year Future, and The Evaporators)

Your Enemies friends are playing Siren fest (in NYC) and Hell fest (somewhere else far away) this summer. They’re doing a show with The Hunches and The Ponys at The Troub and some shows with Read Yellow on the way out to Siren Fest and back. Here they are:
June 18th – Skratch Magazine Party at The Knitting Factory in Los Angeles
June 19th – Goleta, CA @ The Hard to Find with Year Future and the Vanishing
June 29th – Hollywood, Ca @ The Troubadour with Starlite Desperation, The Hunches, & The Ponys (8pm doors – YEF on at 11pm)
Jul 09 Denver, CO Larimer Lounge w/Read Yellow & Kill Radio
Jul 11 Iowa City, IA Gabe’s Oasis w/Read Yellow & Kill Radio
Jul 12 Chicago, IL Subterranian w/Read Yellow
Jul 13 Detroit, MI Shelter w/Read Yellow
Jul 14 Toledo, OH Headliners w/Read Yellow
Thu Jul 15 Covington, KY Radio Down w/Read Yellow
Fri Jul 16 Pittsburgh, PA Club Café
Sat Jul 17 Coney Island, NY Siren Fest w/Blonde Redhead/Trail Of Dead, etc
Mon Jul 19 Cleveland, OH Grog Shop w/Read Yellow
July 22nd @ The Loft in Poughkeepsie, NY
Jul 23 Elizabeth, NY Hellfest *** HELLFEST WILL BE ONE OF THESE 3 DAYS
Jul 24 Elizabeth, NYHellfest
Jul 25 Elizabeth, NY Hellfest
July 28th @ The Bottleneck in Lawrence, KS
Aug 22 Los Angeles, CA Sunset Junction w/ Blonde Redhead, The Donnas, etc…

Radio Vago are up and running again. The band has been kicking ass around L.A., and will be finishing their debut album shortly with Slowmar.

Shat is recording a new 69 song record for Buddyhead. No, we’re not joking. And Shat is ready to tour, so if you’re in a band, take Shat on tour. Don’t be a pussy!

Speaking of Shat… Why isn’t Shat on Ozzfest? The hillbilly sister fuckers that pay between $90 and $370 for admission would surely eat up Shat and his weird metal songs about pussy. Ozzy’s kids need to get down with Shat. DO IT!

So yeah, Ozzy is hauling his geriatric corpse back out on stage and bringing those other old dudes with him so that all the Hessians will spend all their “bail me out of jail after I get drunk and forcefully sodomize my sister” money on Ozzfest tickets. Guess it’s a good business move, but do you really want to see “Disney Ozzy” shaking like a crackhead singing “Hole in the Sky?” We’ll stay home and avoid Wresltemaniafest or whatever you wanna label this circus without SHAT.

Michael Moore’s new flick “Fahrenheit 9/11” finally got picked up for distribution and will hit theatres nationwide June 25th. The trailer debuted on the internet a few days ago, and it looks BADASS… check it out…. Click here for the trailer and here for Michael Moore’s site. Learn.

Creed broke up… finally. Even Jesus is stoked.

The Vines broke up too… finally. Their “crazy and wild” pot smoking “singer” dude is stoked cuz now he has time to impregnate that chick who’s hairy and dirty or whatever she’s called.

The Libertines broke up too. Finishing a record didn’t sound as much fun as hittin tha pipe.

From the sound of those three last items… shit might be looking up!

We haven’t heard that Velvet Revolver record, but can someone tell that dude who wasn’t in STP or GNR that wearing a beanie and a “Famous Stars And Stripes” t-shirt in every promo photo makes him about as cool as those weenies in Blink 182. Come on dude, you’re in a band with Slash now, let’s not be a total pussy and lose the jock beanie and grow your hair out. Same goes for you Matt Sorum, no one cares that you played on “Illusions” buddy, lose the frosted short Hollywood cut and grow that shit out. Weiland… well you’re fucked no matter what man, just keep doing drugs.

Buddyhead’s lawyer, Bryan Christner, (who used to be in Shelter), won one more for the good guys and got back the rights to the two Atlantic-era Jawbox records for DeSoto Records (who’s gonna re-release them next year, hopefully with some DVD bonus material). Once again Bryan sticks it to the man. Dude is like the Robin Hood of lawyers and shit. Think about it, he does handle us losers.

Speaking of Shelter, Youth Of Today are doing even more reunion shows this summer, but this time in the U.S. Porcell is tired of folding t-shirts at Equal Vision, and needs the loot. Ray too, even though he’s not straight edge anymore, and has a sex addiction problem. Speaking of hardcore dudes with sex addiction problems, these guys had better ask Gayrilla Biscuits to open the shows.

That new Cure song sounds like some posers like Thursday writing a Cure-esque song, though more “in key” vocally. Yeah, it’s fucking shitty, and Robert Smith looks even more bizarre now, like he does his makeup with powdered donuts… which would totally make sense, cause he’d get to gorge his face with donuts after getting all tarted up. Ten bucks says Aaron’s doing that by the next Icarus Line record.

Speaking of Thursday, their crybaby singer kid goes around telling people that “playing live isn’t really their thing”. They also reportedly hit the stage at Coachella by announcing, “Hey, we’re Thursday, and we’re an emo band, you might have heard about emo by now!” Too bad security was tight at that shit, cos if somebody had a gun, that dude woulda been ended.

Stop by Cole Rehearsal in Hollywood… it’s on Cole just south of Santa Monica… if ya wanna hear Fred Durst attempting to “sing”. They’re in studio D. Homeboy usually shows up around 9 or 10. It’s comedy, we promise. Tell em we sent you.

Speaking of LAME DORKS… Click here to see Hollywood’s new batch of ironic social butterflies http://www.polaroidscene.com/…if you hang out with these people you are a lame dork.

Capitol will be releasing “The Mazzy Star Anthology” (a collection of songs from the bands three studio albums) in October of 2004 with some bonus DVD material. Dope.

Hope Sandoval is also on one song on the “Vetiver” record, which Devendra Banhart plays guitar on and Colm from My Bloody Valentine plays drums on. Also, look out for the Arthur comp Devendra put together. And buy Devendra’s new record. Homeboy is weird and sings about his teeth and shit. Here’s that comp tracklisting. Click here (http://www.arthurmag.com/store/bastet_cds.php) to buy that shit.
1. Vetiver (with Hope Sandoval) – “Angel’s Share” (from the “Vetiver” LP)
2. Joanna Newsom – “Bridges and Balloons” (from “The Milk-Eyed Mender” LP)
3. Six Organs of Admittance – “Hazy SF” (previously unreleased)
4. Viking Moses – “Crosses” (from “Crosses”)
5. Josephine Foster – “Little Life” (prev. unreleased home recording)
6. ESPers – “Byss & Abyss” (from “ESPers” LP)
7. Vashti Bunyan & Devendra Banhart – “Rejoicing in the Hands” (from the forthcoming “Rejoicing in the Hands of the Golden Empress” LP)
8. Jana Hunter – “Farm, CA” (prev. unreleased)
9. Currituck Co. – “The Tropics of Cancer” (from “Ghost Man on First”)
10. White Magic – “Don’t Need” (from forthcoming EP)
11. Iron and Wine – “Fever Dream” (from “Our Endless Numbered Days” LP)
12. Diane Cluck – ” Heat From Every Corner” (from “Macy’s Day Bird”)
13. Matt Valentine – “Mountains of Yaffa” (prev. unreleased)
14. Entrance – “You Must Turn” (prev. unreleased home recording)
15. Jack Rose – “White Mule” (from “Red Horse, White Mule” originally released thru Eclipse, forthcoming on VHF)
16. Little Wings – “Look at What the Light Did Now” (from “Light Green Leaves”)
17. Scout Niblett – “Wet Road” (from “Sweet Heart Fever”)
18. Troll – “Mexicana” (from “Pathless Lord”)
19. CocoRosie – “Good Friday” (from “La Maison de Mon Reve”)
20. Antony – “The Lake” (from “Live at Saint Olaye’s With Current 93″)

It’s Christmas in June all over the black hole of humanity that is the Midwest. Yep, a new Slipknot record is upon us. Right now there are about a million dudes with names like “Shitpile” and “Scumfucker” that will take a break from their backyard wrestling matches with their 5 year old sisters to spend every penny they have in their pockets that isn’t going to porno.

Lakers in 5 bitch.

Jeff Winterberg (ex Antoich Arrow) has a photo book out called “Rat a Tat…Birds”. It’s a collection of pictures from 1991-2003 featuring live shots of Jesus Lizard, Monorchid, Karp, Nation Of Ullyses, Boredoms … you name it. It’s fucking rad. Get it @ www.jeffwinterberg.com

Jeff is also in a band called “Coptic Light” with John Fine (ex bitch Magnet) go see them too.

The Mars Volta are winning new fans everyday. Yesterday their new fan was Kirk from Metallica, click here for photo.

Watching American Idol is the 2004 version of watching Star-Trek. Who the fuck cares about these high school talent show morons? Anything that gives Paula Abdul a job and makes millionaires out of weirdo dudes who look like Alvin from the Icarus Line needs to be abolished.

Bob Dylan & Paul McCartney both said they want to be judges on American Idol next year. Come on God, serve these guys up a pair of heartattacks before the next television season.

The guy from the Darkness who sings like the skin of his balls is being peeled away with a buck knife had some surgery that went well and now he can sing all gay again. Bummer, that doctor fucking blew it.

Dillinger have a new record coming out on July 20th called “Miss Machine”. We hear it’s about the Jeff Wood period in the band where chicks would actually show up to shows to see if they could get a piece of the dong master, Jeff Fucking Wood. The Dillinger Escape Plan is also going on tour for, like, ever. Here are the dates… Europe first, then you North American dorks can get with it.
June 5th @ Download Festival, Donnington, UK
June 6th @ Rock IM Ring Festival, Nuremburg, Germany
June 8th @ Manchester University, Manchester, UK
June 9th @ Cathouse, Glasgow, Scotland
June 10th @ Garage, London, UK
June 11th @ Exeter Pheonix Arts Centre, Exeter, UK
June 12th @ Engine Room, Cardiff, UK
June 14th @ Magnet, Berline, Germany
June 15th @ Logo, Hamburg, Germany
June 17th @ Hultsfred Festival, Hultsfred Sweden
June 19th @ Provinsrock Festival Seinajoki, Finland
June 22nd @ Garage, Oslo, Norway
June 23rd @ Stengade 30, Coppenhagen, Denmark
June 24th @ Effenaar, Eindhoven, Netherlands
June 25th @ Grasspop Festival, Dessel Belgium
June 26th @ Fury Festival, Le Mans, France
June 27th @ Danube Festival, Vienna, Austria
June 28th @ Garage, Munich, Germany
June 30th @ La Locomotive, Paris, France
July 2nd @ State X Festival, Den Hauge, Netherlands
July 4th @ Eurockennes Festival, Belfort, France
July 6th @ Bloom Art, Palermo, Italy
July 7th @ Rock Planet, Pinarella Di Cervia, Italy
July 8th @ Open Air, Lecce, Italy
July 9th @ Radio Sherwood Festival, Padova, Italy
July 10th @ Knockout Festival, Moultier, Switzerland
North American “Fucking with the Lights On” tour starts
July 18th @ Ottobar, Baltimore, MD (w./ The Bronx, Decahedron plus special guest)
July 19th @ Ottobar, Baltimore, MD (w./ The Bronx, Darkest Hour, Decahedron)
July 21st @ Middle East, Boston, MA (w./(w./ The Bronx, Decahedron plus special guest)
July 25th @ Rexplex Center, Elizabeth, NJ (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
July 26th @ Rockit, Toronto, Ont (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
July 27th @ Rockit, Toronto, Ont (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
July 29th @ Shelter, Detroit, MI (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
July 30th @ Grog Shop, Cleveland, OH (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
July 31st @ Fireside Bowl, Chicago, IL (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Decahedron)
August 1st @ Fireside Bowl, Chicago, IL (w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Read Yellow)
August 3rd @ Fox Theatre, Boulder, CO (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 6th @ Bottom of the Hill, San Francisco, CA (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 7th @ Troubador, Los Angeles, CA (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 8th @ Troubador, Los Angeles, CA (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 9th @ Mason Jar, Pheonix, AZ (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 11th @ Emos, Austin, TX (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 12th @ Parish @ The House of Blues, (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)New Orleans, LA
August 13th @ Ground Zero, Spartanburg, SC (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 14th @ Keswick Democratic Club, Louisville, KY (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 16th @ Knitting Factory, New York, NY (w./Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow)
August 17th @ Knitting Factory, New York, NY (w./ Special Guests)
August 20th @ Pukklepop Festival, Hasslet, Belgium
August 28th @ Reading Festival, Reading, UK
August 29th @ Leeds Festival, Leeds, UK

The new Blink 182 video for some song called “Down”, features former gang members playing and get this… this is a total thespian stretch, current gang members. Wow, take 3 white ass dudes from the rich area of San Diego and surround them with gang members. WHO THE FUCK IS WRITING THE STORY BOARDS FOR THESE DUMB FUCKING VIDEOS???? Here’s our idea for their next video, Blink 182 shows up at a party, they’re the only white dudes there… they think they’ll be “down”, cause they hang out with Tommy Lee and rich rappers here and there at gay ass Hollywood parties. So Tom (not sure which one he is, but we know one of them is “Tom”) throws up his hands like he does when he’s high fiving his warped tour buddies after someone scores in Volleyball, and instead of the nice gang members bro-ing down with Blink 182, they beat the living shit out of them for 3 minutes and 30 seconds so that it fits MTV’s criteria for a video getting shown. For 3 minutes and 30 seconds those 3 dorks get fucking pulverized. It would be the best video ever. We’d watch MTV again. It’d be great.

Call up Tara Reid and tell her it’s time to get some more plastic surgery. Yeah, let’s have her lips stapled to her ass. 323.874.9888

While you’re at it, call up Mandy Moore and tell her to act her age, 12. 310.920.1517

Is it just us or does that fat goth chick in Evanesence look like a wee bit plumper Meg White dressed up for Halloween?

That kid made another emo game. We don’t play video games, but Alvin’s gonna beat this shit man. It’s called Bush game. Bush doesn’t give a fuck. http://www.emogame.com/bushgame.html

If you can find it, pick up the new Jools Holland dvd, it’s 34 live performances from 1993-2003 including Primal Scream, Spiritualized, The Charlatans, The Verve, Oasis, Echo and The Bunnymen, Pulp, Radiohead, Blur, The Darkness and Franz Ferdinand. Shits out June 7th.

Courtney Love is going on tour… well, our guess is like one or two of these shows will happen, the rest of the time, she’ll be too busy popping crazy horse pills, showing her tits and vagina off, busting out windows, talking dirty, spitting, smoking, or being too much of a fucking wierdo tweaker to bother showing up.
June 18th @ New Haven, CT Toads Place
June 19th @ Providence, RI Lupoís The Strand
June 23rd @ Boston, MA Avalon Ballroom
June 25th @ Philadelphia, PA Electric Factory
June 26th @ Norfolk, VA The Novva
June 29th @ Washington DC Nation
June 30th @ Pittsburg, PA Rock Club

David Cross’ new record is pretty funny even if he is a dork. Check out this mp3 sample. Click here.

The Revolution Smile got dropped… do we really need to say it?

The bass player from the Strokes is having a kid. Baby lurch?

The singer from the Strokes is getting married to some chick he met in his record label’s office or something. Maybe she can lend him some girly cream for his zits.

So those lame bar rockers Godsmack had their road crew kick the shit out of faux mall “punk rockers” The Story So Far at some lame festival (which is a lot like two retards trying to claw each others eyes out in the back of the short bus), who posted a poor written and detailed account of how they got their asses kicked on their website only to later take it down. Here’s what those pussies posted.
“FUCK GODSMACK AND THIER NAZI FUCKING CREW…..
Hello everyone. Something pretty amazing happened, and I would like to share it with you………..

Last night, at a Radio Show in Indiana, my band (except for Josh, he was in the shower) and our tour manager was jumped by godsmack’s production manager, crew, and security, along with local security. It was a pretty fair fight. The five of us vs. at least ten 200+ pound football reject, jock – coke head fucking piece of shit fucking losers. Almost a fair fight huh? So what did we do to deserve this you probably wondering? It had to have been something really bad huh? Did we have sex with one of their wives? No, that’s not why. Did we steal some of their drugs? No. Not that either. Did we sell their security some bunk steroids?. No. This is the awful thing that we did to get jumped..

The show was in an amphitheater. We made everyone in the crowd jump, and asked everyone in the lawn to come down to the front of the stage. I can totally understand how this might have caused a little bit of a panic for the local security, but the show was sucking, so we had to make it rock. It’s not like there was a riot or anything. It ruled. Apparently, godsmack’s douche bag fucking production manager and crew didn’t like this, so they we’re backstage waiting for us……

I’m going to stop the story right there just to re-interate the fact that this was a RADIO SHOW. NOT A FUCKING GODSMACK SHOW. We were not opening for godsmack. We are not on tour with godsmack. The absolute fact of the matter is that neither godsmacks’s band or crew had any authority or say in anything regarding my band. It was simply none of their fucking business what happened on or off stage during our performance.

Anyway, we walked off stage excited, because we turned a shitty show into a fucking rock show. Within ten seconds of us finishing our last song, Godsmacks ugly dick faced production manager had his hands all over Dan screaming at him saying “Get the fuck out of here, you’re not getting fucking paid” “Who the fuck do you think you are, you’re not fucking rock stars”….Dan replied to the guys face “YEAAAAHHHHH ROCK AND ROLL! WAHOOOOO!” This really pissed off the piece of shit production manager. Our tour manager intervened and told the dude not touch band members. What happens next? Three cro-magnon jock fucks grabs our tour manager and holds him still so one guy could pummel his face. 4 of them jump on Adam and pummel his face. Dan, Phil, and I got hit, but not half as bad as they did. Josh walked off stage and went in the dressing room just 5 seconds before this happened and missed it. I did get to punch a dude in the face a couple of times. That ruled. Dan got to punch thier production manager in the face, and Phil, god love Phil…He picked up a metal box and smashed the pussy face production manager in the head with it. I think It’s still pretty safe to say we lost though.

Let me again re-inerate the fact that no one in godsmack’s band or crew had ANY FUCKING RIGHT TO EVEN SAY A WORD TO US. If we were opening for godsmack at one of THIER lame ass shows or if we were on tour with them, then yeah, they’ve got the power, it’s their show, they’re in charge. But even then, kick us off tour, tell us to go home, cuss at us, don’t pay us whatever. DON’T PUT YOUR FUCKING GORILLA HANDS ON MY FUCKING BAND. That’s not business, that fucking gang shit.

So we just got jumped putting on a rock show, then to top it off, the fucking cops quarantine us in a 300 degree room while all the fucks who started the fight walked around drinking beer and laughing about it. They totally started the fight, threw the first punches, and WE were fucking held in a room, then held in our bus. Then, the icing on the cake; an inbred cop with a handlebar moustache tells us “he’s not putting up with our kind” and ” the whole things a joke and he can personally guarantee that nothing will happen to anyone that kicked our ass”…. Eat another doughnut you power abusive fucking molester.

So why fuck godsmack? Because their dickface crew jumped us and not one member of that fucking band bothered to come and apologize for it. Sully (the singer) walked by our dressing room, looked at us, and gave us a dirty look. No sorry my hoosier ass crew jumped you. No sorry my band hires irresponsible fucking criminals, Nothing from any of them. Awesome.

It’s funny that we played a terrible fucking new metal festival with all these hard ass terrible new metal dork bands like godsmack, and they couldn’t handle little old storyoftheyear’s rock show. Sorry we’re not 40 years old and we don’t stand on stage like someone is forcing us to. Sorry we love our band and love to put on a show for people who pay 3 million dollars to see a bunch of dorky bands stare at their feet. So they took it upon themselves to jump us. Yeah, so fuck godsmack and their stupid fucking crew, and fuck every steroid using, jock fucking cave man security guard that thinks hitting a dude 200 pounds smaller than him is cool. Eat shit and die you fucking pussies. “

Robin posted new photos. Check em out. www.redhedpictures.com.

The Shins are on tour with Fiery Furnaces, go see em, just get ready to see 8,000 little urban outfitter pussies. Also, check out this basement recording video of “Gone For Good”.
May 21 Commodore Ballroom Vancouver, BC
May 22 Roseland Theater Portland, OR
May 25 Fillmore Denver, CO
May 27 Bricks Salt Lake City, UT
May 29 The Gorge George, WA
May 30 Neumos (TSB Benefit) Seattle, WA
Jun 1 Warfield San Francisco, CA
Jun 4 Wiltern Theater Tucson, AZ
Jun 5 Glass House Pomona, CA
Jun 6 SOMA San Diego, CA
Jun 7 Rialto Theater Tucson, AZ
Jun 9 Stubbs BBQ Austin, TX
Jun 9 Waterloo Austin, TX
Jun 10 Engine Room Houston, TX
Jun 11 House of Blues New Orleans, LA
Jun 13 Variety Playhouse Atlanta, GA
Jun 14 Cat’s Cradle Carrboro, NC
Jun 15 Norva Norfolk, VA
Jun 17 Newport Music Hall Columbus, OH
Jun 18 House of Blues Chicago, IL
Jun 19 House of Blues Chicago, IL
Jun 20 First Avenue Minneapolis, MN
Jun 21 First Avenue Minneapolis, MN
Jul 4 Roskilde Festival Rokskilde, Denmark
Jul 6 Folkets Park Malmo, Sweden
Jul 7 Tradgar n Gothenburg, Sweden
Jul 8 Munchen Brewery Stolkholm, Sweden
Jul 9 Quart Festival Kristiansand, Norway
Jul 10 Oxegen Festival Dublin, Ireland
Jul 11 T in the Park Glasgow, Scotland
Jul 17 Somerset House London, UK
Jul 18 Somerset House London, UK

WIN A FREE DVD OF RENO 911 (COMEDY CENTRAL)
Yep, we’re giving away three DVD’s of Comedy Central’s Reno 911 which hits stores on June 9th. Send us an email to buddyhead@buddyhead.com with “I WANT SOME RENO BABY” in the subject and tell us why you should win this nice nice prize prize. Click here to watch a preview of that show.

Beachwood Sparks main-dude, Chris Gunst, has a new band called Mystic Chords of Memory on Rough Trade. Killer.

Kathleen used to make sure Buddyhead knew how to spell and wrote some of our reviews and cleaned up Aaron’s puke… now she has a rock band called Tsk Tsk. If you live in L.A., go check it out:
*June 11th Friday @ The Echo (1822 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles CA) w/ Dirty Little Secret, The Lips 9 PM – $5.00 – 18+ FREE for 21+
*June 15th Tuesday @ Key Club (9039 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles CA) Indie 103.1 and Filter Magazine presents Ruby Tuesdays w/ American Eyes, The Have 8 PM – FREE – ALL AGES
*June 22nd Tuesday @ Spaceland (1717 Silver Lake Blvd, Los Angeles CA) w/ Slow Signal Fade, Jessie Deluxe, Lily and the Ladies 9 PM – 21+
*July 12th Monday @ RAGE (8911 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood CA) w/ American Eyes, Living Science Foundation 8 PM – FREE – ALL AGES
*July 19th Monday @ The Echo (1822 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles CA) w/ The Moon Upstairs, Lily and the Ladies

Dios are on tour with Beulah.
5/24 Gainesville, FL @ Common Grounds
5/25 Tampa, FL @ The Orpheum
5/26 Orlando, FL @ The Social
5/27 St. Augustine, FL @ Caf? 11
5/28 Atlanta, GA @ The Earl
5/29 Nashville, TN @ 12th & Porter
5/31 Carrboro, NC @ Cat’s Cradle
6/01 Washington, D.C. @ Black Cat
6/02 Philadelphia, PA @ North Star Bar
6/03 Brooklyn, NY @ North Six
6/04 New York, NY @ Bowery Ballroom
6/06 Asbury Park, NJ @ The Great Bamboozle Festival (w/ Sonic Youth)
6/07 Baltimore, MD @ Ottobar *
6/09 Buffalo, NY @ Mohawk Place +
6/10 Detroit, MI @ Magic Stick +
6/11 Chicago, IL @ Martyr’s +
6/13 Denver, CO @ Larimer Lounge +
6/24 Seattle, WA @ Chop Suey **
6/25 Portland, OR @ Ash Street Saloon **
6/26 San Francisco, CA @ The Fillmore

Also hot off the presses is Buddyhead #9, the LP version of Burning Brides “Fall Of The Plastic Empire”. Your only opportunity to get your hand on these limited slabs of wax, and possibly the seven inch as well, is at one of their shows on their upcoming tour with that Swedish band that doesn’t sound like My Bloody Valentine or Joy Division, Division Of Laura Lee. The Catheters are on the tour as well.

BURNING BRIDES W/ DIVISION OF LAURA LEE and THE CATHETERS
Wed 01/15/03 Brooklyn, NY South Paw
Thu 01/16/03 New York, NY Mercury Lounge
Fri 01/17/03 Washington, DC Black Cat
Sat 01/18/03 Cambridge, MA T.T. The Bear’s
Sun 01/19/03 Philadelphia, PA The Khyber
Mon 01/20/03 Montreal, QC Cabaret Music Hall
Wed 01/22/03 Toronto, ON Horseshoe Tavern
Thu 01/23/03 Detroit, MI Small’s
Fri 01/24/03 Chicago, IL Double Door
Sat 01/25/03 Minneapolis, MN 400 Bar
Sun 01/26/03 Lawrence, KS The Bottleneck
Mon 01/27/03 Boulder, CO Tulagi
Tue 01/28/03 Salt Lake City, UT X-Scape (Formerly DV8)
Thu 01/30/03 Vancouver, BC Richard’s On Richards
Fri 01/31/03 Portland, OR The Satyricon
Sat 02/01/03 Seattle, WA Crocodile Cafe
Mon 02/03/03 San Francisco, CA Bottom Of The Hill
Tue 02/04/03 Pomona, CA Glass House
Wed 02/05/03 West Hollywood, CA The Troubadour
Thu 02/06/03 San Diego, CA Brick By Brick

Anyone that happened to catch our friends the Burning Brides on Conan O’Brien last Thursday (January 2nd at 12:30 am on NBC) was treated to some of the best television in a long time.

Do you play keyboard? Your Enemies Friends have returned home from a U.S. tour with The Donnas, and a U.K. tour with Pretty Girls Make Graves. There are a couple of differences this time though, they don’t have a permanent keyboardist, and home isn’t in the same place. Your Enemies Friends figured out the rest of the country sucks and have moved back to Los Angeles. They are also on the hunt to fill the recently vacated keyboardist position. A special thanks goes out to J from Pretty Girls for filling in on the tour in England. So if you are talented in the synth/piano/organ field, live in LA or are willing to relocate, and are dedicated to being in a full time touring band, drop them a line. No weenies please. The band will be touring forever all over the world, and recording their debut album soon, and it won’t be a fuckin’ cakewalk. Serious inquiries only please. Email the band at your_enemies_friends@yahoo.com.

In other Your Enemies Friends news, on Monday January 13th (that’s not this Monday, it’s the next), Your Enemies Friends will be playing BBC sessions (before the BBC airs them) on Jeremy and Aaron Farley’s weekly drunken radio show. The show is on from 7-10pm, hit their website to listen. www.GTFUradio.com

ENTER THE BUDDYHEAD “WELCOME TO 2003 MOTHERFUCKERS!” GIVEAWAY CONTEST
Seeing as how it’s the holidays we figured we’d be nice for once and give some lucky Buddyhead readers a whole bunch of killer records. Basically, if you are the the lucky sonofabitch that wins, yer getting everything we’ve put out (minus a couple crappy 7 inches we did) as well as a bunch of clothes that say Buddyhead too. We’re hooking you up! Kids are going to go bonkers and start losing their minds and shit over the thought of wining this luscious prize. But please, don’t freak out! Stay calm because you probably aren’t gonna win it. All you have to do is send an email to buddyhead@buddyhead.com with “BUDDYHEAD 2003 CONTEST” in the subject to enter the contest. And… BOO YAH! We’ll pick the wiener, I mean winner, so don’t worry about that part. The winner will be shipped the following free of charge:
- 1 Burning Brides / The Icarus Line Split 7 inch
- 1 Burning Brides “Fall Of The Plastic Empire” LP
- 1 The Dillinger Escape Plan “Irony Is A Dead Scene” 12 inch e.p.
- 1 Radio Vago “Black & White Photo Enterprise” CD
- 1 Radio Vago “Black & White Photo Enterprise” LP
- 1 Your Enemies Friends “The Wiretap Ep” CD
- 1 Your Enemies Friends “The Wiretap Ep” LP
- 1 Shat “Best Of” CD
- 1 Ink & Dagger CD
- 1 Text CD
- 1 Buddyhead shirt of their choice
- 1 Buddyhead hat of their choice
- 1 Buddyhead Hooded Sweatshirt

So the “Black Flag” tribute band thingy happened a few weeks ago, and as suspected, Greg Ginn had no part in it. Chuck Dukowski’s involvement was limited to him singing a song, not playing bass, and the rest was just the dudes in Rollins band hacking up classic Black Flag songs. The bass player fucked up the whole first verse of “Depression” when he forgot the notes to play. Total King Crimson type shit going on in the changes on that song though… NOT. Keith Morris was the highlight and kicked maximum ass on his songs. Thumbs up to Keith Morris. It still was hard to get over the guitar and bass players weak ass tones and approach. If you’re playing Black Fucking Flag songs, how bout turning some of those knobs on the amp to the right a lil more and not sounding like you borrowed Warrant’s backline for the gig? But it was all for a good cause, so we’ll try not to be as critical. Thank god they at least didn’t play “TV Party”. Oh and seeing as how this is for a good cause, if you can afford to, buy the album. Actually buy all the Black Flag records while you’re at it too cuz Greg Ginn needs the loot for more weed, and we know most of you don’t own those yet anyway. Pussies.

For better or worse Rama threw a big holiday boozefest bash in the name of BWR. They got so drunk they posted all the photos of themselves on the internet. Click here to look a bunch of weird lucky kids. We’re pretty sure some of em owe us money too…
http://www.bigwheelrec.com/winter

If you’re pissed about having to look at a Glassjaw banner on Buddyhead, call the singer of the band, Daryl Palumbo, to tell him about it. His cell phone number is (516) 532-6739 and he told us that he totally doesn’t mind what time you call, cuz he’s always down to chat with his fans. Leave him a nice long voicemail and if he doesn’t reply to you expediently, be certain to e-hit him up at godzillagodzilla@aol.com. Tell him how stoked you are that his band and the Used are on the same label, have the same A&R guy and management team, and now that The Used are blowing up, Glassjaw are bound to see some trickle down success as well! Tell him congratulations for us!

The singer of Glassjaw, is also slated to appear on the upcoming Liars Academy full-length record out on Equal Vision. According to industry insiders, Palumbo begged and pleaded to be a part of the recording due to his complete affinity for and identification with the bands name.

Speaking of that mall punk band from Utah… The Used just recorded a Christmas song. As if recording a Christmas song wasn’t reason enough for castration they got the singers girlfriend to sing on it. Stellar. Santa’s going to fucking stab you pussies. Oh and in case you didn’t hear us the first time THESE GUYS ARE POSERS! Click here to listen to this crap.

The singer of The Strokes just inked a 2 million dollar tv commercial deal with OXY. Zap em dude.

Speaking of cash, LA’s “Dirty Little Secret”, is getting money thrown at them left and right by major labels. And they just so happen to be playing tonight too, (1.08.03 silverlake ca spaceland w/ the rattlesnakes), so come out and see all the major label goons swarming like flies on shit. http://dirtylittlesecret.biz/.

The Von Datsun 4 will be touring America real soon. Make sure you go see those dudes play.

One of our favorite websites, epitonic.com, is going under. Somebody rich needs to kick them down some cash so they can keep their doors open. Someone call The Osbournes.

Bro-Core… uh… Sno-Core Tour, a tour where every day is white-boy day, is sorta set for this year and the lineup is totally fucking dope!!! Of course we’re fucking lying, the lineup sucks, bad. If the choice is between stapling your dick to a burning building or going to this bullshit, we’d say burnt hot dog might be the choice. Sparta, Glassjaw, Hot Water Music, and Hot Hot Heat are all on tap to rape your faith in music. Enjoy.
February 14th Austin, TX – La Zona Rosa
February 15th Dallas, TX – Gypsy Ball Room
February 17th Phoenix, AZ – Nita’s Hideaway
February 18th San Diego, CA – Soma
February 19th Las Vegas, NV – Huntridge
February 20th Los Angeles, CA – Mayan
February 25th Portland, OR – Roseland
February 26th Seattle, WA – Showbox
February 27th Vancouver, BC – Commodore Ballroom
March 01st Salt Lake City, UT – Bricks
March 02nd Denver, CO – Ogden Theater
March 05th Columbia, MO – The Blue Note
March 08th Minneapolis, MN – The Quest
March 09th Milwaukee, WI – The Rave
March 12th Cincinnati, OH – Bogarts
March 13th Columbus, OH – Newport Music Hall
March 14th Cleveland, OH – Odeon
March 15th Detroit, MI – State Theater
March 17th Toronto, ON – Phoenix Concert Hall
March 19th Worcester, MA – The Palladium
March 21st New York, NY – Roseland
March 22nd Philadelphia, PA – Electric Factory
March 23rd Washington, DC – 930 Club

These Arms Are Snakes are the new Botch / Kill Sadie off shoot band. They have a site. www.thesearmsaresnakes.com They seriously list what equipment they use, including the singer.

Epitaph are thinking of signing Roy, which features members of Botch (we talked about before if you’ve been paying attention at all). They sound like Nirvana, if Nirvana were a little more into dong that is. Two of the members of Roy have straight edge tattoos. Aaron’s jealous.

Speaking of new bands, our buddy Dimitri formerly of the Dillinger Escape Plan has a new band brewing. Details are sketchy, but expect his band to debut sometime around SXSW time, and it sorta sounds like a heavy Swiz. We’ll keep you posted.

Speaking of the Dillinger Escape Plan, They’ll be rocking a party type thing in New York City during the weekend of January 23rd-25th. 3 nights at a club called Tribeca which is a really small place so get there early. Other bands scheduled to play over the three nights are Dalek, Vaz, City of Caterpillar, Merciana, and more TBA. Don’t miss Vaz cuz they are totally awesome. They used to be from LA, so don’t let them scare you away when they say they live in New York.
January 19th Philadelphia, PA @ the Trocadero w./ High on Fire
The Dillinger Escape Plan w./ Dalek, Vaz, City of Caterpillar, & more
January 23 New York City, NY @Tribeca
January 24 New York City, NY @ Tribeca/
January 25 New York City, NY @ Tribeca

Fred Durst has been rubbing his sweaty little porker hands all over Alyssa Milano’s midget body lately. Yep, the two are dating, and the best part is Justin Timberlake (that chicks other boyfriend) doesn’t know yet. Bummer dude. We sure hope these dudes don’t get in a serious fistfight over this because it’ll be like watching two Downs Syndrome kids in straight jackets arguing over who gets to control the remote during Springer.

The parties at Frankie’s place in Seattle every Friday and Saturday are the best place for 17-year-old girls to take advantage of washed up rock stars. Check it out ladies.

Chris Traynor (ex-Orange 9mm / Helmet) has left his spot in Bush to join Rival Schools and fill Ian Love’s shoes. He’s saying goodbye to Bush in more ways than one.

Meanwhile Ian Love is tripping balls. Not only has he quit Rival Schools so that he could dedicate more time to a band called Cardia with some guy from The Verve Pipe, but he’s also starring as one of the lead roles in “Cats” on Broadway. Weird right?

Dashboard Confessional told Jimmy Iovene that he’ll write as many songs as it takes for Jimmy to hear “the song”. We’re thinking a record with 45 minutes of silence culminating with the sound of a chainsaw and a little pansy ass Floridian screaming. Let’s hope they find a cure for whatever it is Chris Carraba has that makes him such a knob, before the new Dashboard Confessional record comes out. White noise.

Those kids who really like NOFX, Punknews.org, are giving away some Radio Vago cd’s. Click here to enter the contest.

That a-sexual new wave hairspray band, Ladytron, figured that after two records and a ton of money in promotion from the Getty family (the richest family in LA happens to own their label) that they’d go on tour for the first time. Weeeeeee… being in a band is fun!

Playing Enemy haven’t released a new record in two years, and the world at large doesn’t really give a shit. But for those of you who do, there will be an e.p. out on Escape Artist this winter. Demian from Playing Enemy delivers pizza, and he wants his books back from Travis really bad but Travis is too lazy to send em back so he’s just gonna have to fucking wait. Demian also said The Icarus Line have to come back to Seattle and this time leave the aviator glasses back in 2001.

Playing Enemy’s roadie got Playing Enemy kicked out of a town by fucking a 16 year old who was on her period. Her mom was not too stoked when she walked in on the blood and semen festival.

RCA is trying to pass off this jokey “heavy metal parking lot” pop band, Damone, off as a real band. But the funny part is no one cares about them in this country so they’re sending them to china first. That oughta be a killer tour guys, let us know what China is like.

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne renewed their wedding vows at the Beverly Hills Hotel on New Year’s Eve. The couple got married on July 4, 1982, but delayed their 20th anniversary because of Sharon Osbourne’s battle with colon cancer. Our sympathy goes out to their family.

The Vines got kicked off of the Conan show for breaking all their gear DURING SOUNDCHECK. At least the Trail of Dads figured out that you break shit during the show, not before.

Call Todd Kelly from KIIS Fm Los Angeles at 818.848.0066 and tell him he’s a boner.

Someone told us there is a band in Florida (wouldn’t you guess) called Rights Of Spring. If that’s true, you guys can’t do that. Guy will be pissed if he finds out.

The singer of Thursday blacks out after their performances, like every night. He apparently can’t even drive a car anymore. We’re hoping that it’ll get so bad that he can’t sing anymore. You know they’re gonna have to pump all that semen out of his stomach real soon just like they did to Bon Jovi.

Call Tucker from Thursday at (908) 399-8487 and tell him how stoked you are on At The Drive-In too.

After breaking free from Universal, Courtney Love said that she thinks she’s gonna sign to Poptones, and will release an (in her words) “incredible, incredible” comeback single. Hey Courtney, we’ve got a better idea, we’ll let you be on our label if you take Shat on tour. You and Jeff will get along just fine.

If you live in Los Angeles and like good rock shows, Bluebird is playing the Knitting Factory on January 17th with Black Cat Music, and The Fallen. As if that wasn’t enough for you, our very own (and world famous) DJ Travis Keller of Buddyhead.com will be playing the most annoying and abrasive records to bum everyone out. Don’t miss this one kids, it’ll be one of those nights your kids ask you about. Not.

Is somebody at Columbia gonna send us 2 copies of the new live Bob Dylan record or what? Oh, and throw in a few of those Primal Scream records with the dvd’s in it. Please, please with sugar and our balls in your mouth?

Feeling lucky? Try your skills at differentiating pubic or facial hair here.

So yeah, The Icarus Line had to pull out of a few of the shows on this tour cos they are poor and either can’t afford to or don’t want to drive around the middle of the country where they’re not really sure if life exists anyway, let alone life that likes music, so oh well. We think they heard it was harder to get drugs there. Shat might be playing all of those shows anyway, so you’ll still have a life altering moment anyway. I mean, The Icarus Line is cool and all, but seeing Shat live is a spiritual experience. Oh yeah, (in one of those hip hop commercial voices) THA SHAT ALBUM “THA CUNT CHRONICLES IS IN STORES NOW FROM BUDDYHEAD RECORDS! IT’S THA JOINT! DON’T DELAY BOY!!! GET YO ASS TO THE STO NOW AND HIT DAT SHIT!!! WOOOOORD! WHAT?! WHAT?! Oh yeah… (still in the hip hop voice) ANYBODY WHO ASKS AARON WHY HE DIDN’T BRING BUDDYHEAD SHIRTS OR STICKERS TO DA SHOWS GETS THEY MOUTH BLEW OUT! BOOYAH!

IF YOU LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO LIFE SUCKS FOR YOU COS YOU HAFTA MAKE TOUGH LIFE DECISIONS LIKE THIS AND TRY TO REMAIN SANE: So the same night that Dillinger Escape Plan, The Icarus Line, Your Enemies Friends, and Shat play in Frisco, The Mars Volta and Radio Vago are playing a different show across town. Also playing yet another different show that night in town are International Noise Conspiracy, The Pattern, and Bluebird. It’s a tough choice we know, but you’ll live. Somewhere in town there should be some sort of after show bash where they can all mouth rape each other.

More Buddyhead bands still going on tour with other bands we semi approve of:
RADIO VAGO WITH THE MARS VOLTA AND SOME OTHER COOL BANDS…
MO 9/30 Chico, CA; the Brickworks, (w/the Mars Volta)
TU 10/1 San Luis Obispo, CA; SLO Brewhouse (w/the Mars Volta)
WE 10/2 Santa Barbara, CA; The Living Room (w/the Mars Volta)
FR 10/4 Berkeley, CA; 924 Gilman Street (w/the Von Steins and the Fuse)
SA 10/5 Sacto, CA; the Distillery (w/Von Steins, the Fuse)
SU 10/13 Los Angeles, CA; The Troubadour (w/the Fall)
MO 10/14 Los Angeles, CA; The Troubadour (w/the Fall and the Fuse)

These shows will be your first chance to get your hands on Radio Vago’s “Black and White Photo Enterprise” on Buddyhead. Don’t fuck this up. The vinyl will be pretty, colored, and limited. It hits stores on November 19th.

Also, Your Enemies Friends is still hitting the road with The Donnas. Every night after the shows, both bands are going to play cards and then wind the evening down reading a book and drinking some tall glasses of milk. Werdemup.

THE DONNAS / YOUR ENEMIES FRIENDS
Wed Oct 23 Los Angeles, CA Roxy
Thu Oct 24 San Francisco, CA Great American
Fri Oct 25 Portland, OR Crystal Ballroom
Sat Oct 26 Seattle, WA Graceland
Mon Oct 28 Vancouver, BC Richard’s
Thu Oct 31 Minneapolis, MN Ascot Room The Quest
Sat Nov 02 Cleveland, OH Agora Ballroom
Sun Nov 03 Detroit, MI The Majestic
Mon Nov 04 Buffalo, NY The Continental
Tue Nov 05 Pittsburgh, PA Club Laga
Wed Nov 06 Toronto, ONT The Opera House
Thu Nov 07 Boston, MA Middle East
Fri Nov 08 Off in NYC
Sun Nov 10 Brooklyn, NY Warsaw
Mon Nov 11 New York, NY Bowery Ballroom
Tue Nov 12 Philadelphia, PA The Trocodero
Wed Nov 13 Washington, DC Black Cat
Thu Nov 14 Winstom-Salem, NC Ziggy’s
Fri Nov 15 Atlanta, GA Masquerade
Sun Nov 17 Orlando, FL Sapphire
Mon Nov 18 Tampa, FL Twilight
Tue Nov 19 Ft. Lauderdale, FL The Culture Room
Wed Nov 20 Tallahassee, FL Floyd’s
Fri Nov 22 New Orleans, LA Shim Sham Club
Sat Nov 23 Houston, TX Fitzgerald’s
Sun Nov 24 Austin, TX Emo’s
Tue Nov 26 Phoenix, AZ NileTheatre
Fri Nov 29 Los Angeles, CA El Rey
Sat Nov 30 San Francisco, CA The Fillmore

Your Enemies Friends are also playing the “This Ain’t No Picnic” thingy out in the middle of nowhere in orange county somewhere on October 5th with Blonde Redhead, The Mars Volta, and a whole lot of very mediocre white guy bands. HEY GOLDENVOICE: GOOD THING NO KNIFE IS ON THIS THING AGAIN FOR LIKE THE 8TH YEAR IN A ROW SO YOU GUYS AND THE 3 OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT BAND CAN SEE THEM YET AGAIN. OH YEAH, NO ONE CARES ABOUT RECOVER, THE KINISON, PINBACK, OR ANY OF THOSE OTHER BANDS WHO JUST GOT SOME GANG OF FOUR RECORDS…. EXCEPT THOSE INDUSTRY FRUITCAKES. AND NOBODY CARES ABOUT SEEING MIKE WATT FOR THE 3,876 TIME EITHER. YOU’RE TOTALLY BLOWING IT.

The word on the street is that Courtney Love and Dave Grohl are all made up and lovey dovey. HIT THAT SHIT DAVE!!!

Fenix TX broke up this last weekend. We heard they were fighting over who got to shove the Blink 182 cd up their ass first. By now they all have their own copy.

Right now Axl Rose is wondering where the fuck his eyebrows went. So are we.

The Explosion just flew back to Boston after a few days relaxing in LA where they all got their balls and then their asses licked by every major label shithead in town. Free dinners for everyone! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ozzy is T-R-I-P-P-I-N-G on the new live Black Sabbath album that just came out. He says “We Love You” during the songs like 587 times. We shouldn’t have to tell you to go buy that… you should have already done it. The best qoute on the cd is “ARE YOU HIGH?”

Looks like Slash, Izzy and Duff finally got a clue and kicked that retard from Buckcherry outta their new band. So now they are on the hunt for a front man. Hey, we got a great fucking idea… How about you morons get AXL FUCKING ROSE back?!?!

Hey 30 seconds to Mars, you clowns have about 15 more seconds left on your 15 minutes. No more actors in bands. Thanks.

Ice Cube is getting Dre to do his next record. Killer!

Those kids with Down Syndrome, The Vines are bringing back rock. Or so we read. How the fuck did those clowns with lazy eyes get on the cover of Rolling Stone? Didn’t it take G n’ R til Illusions to get on? Well, I guess now that they put people like Jennifer Naked Slut Hewitt on the cover, they fit right in. I love how they are trying to make everyone think that dork is so “crazy” and “wild” cuz he’s like always carrying bongs around. IT’S ONLY WEED YOU FUCKING PUSSY IT’S NOT LIKE YOU ARE MAINLINING HEROIN UP YOUR ASS! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Their new record, “Highly Retarded”, is sitting in stores now. Go grab one if you think rock just came back. Like it ever went anywhere.

DON’T BLOW IT, ADVERTISE ON BUDDYHEAD!
If you have money and want to advertise on Buddyhead, email our new ad person at bhads@buddyhead.com and tell them to HOOK YOU UP! Yes this does cost money and no we don’t trade banners, so fuck off. That means if you work at a record label you should be telling your new media peeps to hook up some motherfuckin banner ads on our site. Don’t fuck this up! We will sell you thousands of stuffs. Beeleedat!

FINALLY, A REPORT FROM THE ROAD:
So Tom and Aaron finally took a break from blowing loads of semen on each other’s chests and sent Travis some updates on what’s been happening on The Dillinger Escape Plan / Icarus Line / Shat WORLD TOUR as it continues to blaze a trail of destruction and gayness across the European continent.

So far, the rock n’ roll sensation that is Shat has blown audience’s minds in Italy, Germany, Austria, England, and Ireland. The German music press has already declared Jeff Wood of Shat “the new and improved David Hasselhoff”. Women are flocking to witness the sexual spectacle that is Shat live, undressing and losing all erotic inhibitions. Sales of Shat merchandise at shows far eclipses that of the other two bands, and it’s obvious who will be opening for whom the next time around. As the Euro-land portion of the tour winds down, word of Jeff Wood being the new Elvis is spreading like wildfire… and the conquering of America isn’t far behind either. Just in case the kids at home were wondering, here’s a behind the scenes look at the only tour that matters right now. In no particular order here’s what has happened, and what is going on:

Neil is our “boose driver”. He’s like the love child of The Swedish Chef and Beeker. Basically we can’t understand a fucking word the dude is saying. He’s English so he also doesn’t understand the concept of air conditioning. We’re fucking Americans, if we don’t have air conditioning we melt. “Turn that shit on Neil!”

Euro money is dumb. Real dumb.

Euro computers are like American computers with down syndrome.

The Germans and Swiss still hate us for WW2, so they get all Reich-ish every now and again. Tom and Troy Boy (The Icarus Line’s Drummer) got lost in Germany due to the fucked up directions some Germans gave them. While getting lost they witnessed a homeless dude punch his homeless girlfriend in the face, it was ill. Ill in a bad way. Germans like hookers a lot too. Oh and don’t let us forget about the fucking Swiss, first off, a fucking soda is like 10 dollars or Swiss or whatever their fucking money is called… like they didn’t rob enough money from the Jews back in ‘44. Secondly, what’s with this wanting to be German shit? Like who the fuck would want to be German? Get an identity you nazi harboring, hot chocolate loving, yodeling cumbuckets. Fuck Sweden.

Monica our merch person, she gets naked… like a lot. Actually, every night. Stupid foreign hardcore, punk, and metal mountaineers stand around the merch booth with bulging boners for the duration of the show. Oh yeah, she’s going to shit on Jeff too. On video. Jeff said he’s going to blow her shit. This whole being in Germany thing has got Jeff all fucking weird and Dutch like. It’s even grossing us out. PLOP!

Aaron’s feet smell like the rotting feces of a thousand dead people. There’s a reason he’s called the Corpse. (Or as the Germans were calling him, “Das Korpse”) He’s currently stinking up the bus and thinking about the English cock that will invade his mouth all week with the frequency that British Airways lands airplanes at Heathrow Airport. The kid has issues. Can someone please bring him some foot spray or a new pair of man shoes to one of the shows? We beg you.

We catch Benoit (he plays guitar for the Dillinger Escape Plan) jerking off in the mirror flexing all the time. It’s weird, but what’s weirder is that we’ve been catching Alvin (he plays guitar for The Icarus Line) jerking off to watching Benoit jerking off. Yeah it’s pretty much weirdoville on this bus.

It’s impossible to get gash in a bus full of 15 dudes who smell like shit. It’s pretty disheartening.

Jeff Wood got mugged in France. France didn’t get the memo. Jeff has been sticking to his “all girls are mint” theory by inviting any girl off the street into the bus. We just had to kick a homeless, smelly, disease infected, crack whore off the bus… again. It’s getting stupid kids.

Greg (new singer guy for Dillinger) and Monica like Andrew WK a whole lot, like they stay up into the wee hours listening to that sweaty guy sing about partying and… partying. Then Greg lifts weights and poops into bags and Monica sticks apples into her pussy while smoking crack. Jeff Wood then eats the apples. The fucked up part is this is all true. Believe it.

Once we get home, Greg is scheduled to be in a new artsy black and white gap ad. They want him to slowly smear shit over their nice crisp frat-boy white t-shirts.

Tom is mourning his departure from the steak restaurant business by throwing a bitch fit upon arrival at every club. He storms backstage, flips the deli trays and whatever other food is on the rider all over the room, and screams that, “None of this shit is half as good as the steaks I make back home!” He also misses his purple car so much, we caught him trying to spray paint the bus purple on multiple occasions. Neil has to wrestle the spray paint can away from him every time while Tom cries, “But I used to pick up so many bomb dudes in it… I NEED IT BACK!”

Chris (the drummer for Dillinger) wears the same shirt EVERY DAY, and he looks like Powder. You know… the movie.

Ben (he plays guitar for Dillinger) chipped his teeth during a freak dick sucking accident. He needs emergency dental surgery and he’s broke so send money. Lots of money.

Troy Boy (The new drummer for The Icarus Line) likes flowers, dicks, and disco. And he’s a super hippy. Peace grease.

Liam (Dillinger’s bass player) has read four whole coloring books on tour. He’s polished off Humpty Dumpty, The Berenstein Bears, Green Eggs and Ham, and “the Vegan Guide to Gay Europe: 30 days, 30 dicks”. He’s smart.

These people never… ever, ever, ever shower: Aaron Icarus, Ben Weinman, Mike Watkatijys, Lance ..uh.. what’s Lance’s last name?, Joe Cardohomo. They smell, be warned. That is all.

Every night during Dillinger’s set, Greg asks which members of the crowd came to see The Icarus Line and then he spits in their face. In Ireland, he spit on some girl, and then after the set she fully pinned his ass to the ground and made him lick her shoes. No shit.

Mike the sound guy got fucking wasted in Munich, then he walked around wanting to be Jim Morrison with his shirt off babbling about Jesus and the smell of German women over 60. It was ill. Then he tried to be Mike Patton and pissed in a dryer and broke a bunch of shit. One of the things he broke was a statue that probably cost THOUSANDS. He was manic, telling dudes that they should get the fuck out of his way, because “we won the war”. Mike is hard cause he does sound for Sick of It All and is like an “honorary Alley Way Crew Member”.

We all had to play the Reading and Leeds festivals, and they were interesting. Shat played too… in the parking lot. 2,000 kids stayed outside to witness Shat while The Offspring played inside. The Offspring, and like 4,547 other bands, sucked really bad. The Offspring are old… real old. They sang songs about being white dudes and riding surfboards. All weekend that dweeb Dexter was wearing a Baja shirt and a fucking bucket hat. DUDE, YOU’RE A FUCKING WHITE BOY. The singer from Incubus had to take his shirt off when his doofus tour manager gave him “the sign”, it was fucking pathetic. Then we saw the trailer park explosion that is Slipknot. God, we can write about this one for a while… First off, there was like hundreds of them, we had no idea who was in the band, they all looked like an incest experiment gone metal, except for the 4 foot goth drummer with no eyebrows (dude the no eyebrows thing makes you always look surprised like as if someone farted). Oh yeah, and the DJ dipshit wore a fucking cop light baseball hat all Waldo style. Those guys are fucking stupid, real stupid. Iowa stupid. Those kids in Pretty Girls Makes Graves tried to gang rape Aaron backstage, but he got away. Tom thinks that Guns N Roses slayed at Leeds, and then sucked on MTV. The Hives played the same set they’ve been playing for 3 years, and wore the uniforms they’ve been wearing for the last year and a half while a certain un-named other band from Los Angeles has been wearing a similar uniform for the last 4 years. Hmmmmmmm.

Then we had to watch the sham out that is the MTV awards backstage before a show somewhere in Germany. That wannabe Nirvana cover band, the Vines, played right after the Hives, a double shot of suck for all the dipshits believing this rock revival bullshit. First the Hives led off the sonic suckfest with a bunch of howling and blah blah… whatever, it was stupid. Then the Vines…jesus…YOUR ALBUM HAS FUCKING SKA SONGS ON IT… STOP TRYING TO BREAK SHIT! SKA BANDS DON’T BREAK SHIT. Just sit there, shut the fuck up, and be the #1 Cobain fanboys you are. You’re not eccentric, and you’re not exciting… the only thing weird about you is that you’re from Australia and that makes you automatically weird cause you probably have fucked kangaroos and koalas. Dipshits. Jimmy Fallon was possibly worse.

Then we went to the Kerrang awards in London, and they were a sham out too. Buddyhead was in the house to witness Offspring live, the singer of Amen cry about being dropped, and Puddle Of Mud win an award for… shit, we can’t remember, but the fact that they won an award for anything besides “Assclowns of the year” is uncomprehendable. Sum 41 won the award for “Best new Assclowns of the year” or something. Hundred Reasons proudly took home the award for “Best At the Drive-In clone Assclowns”. Of course The Icarus Line didn’t win the award for “Best Independent Band of the Year” or whatever it’s called they were nominated for, even though they were the only real independent band up for the award. It’s all good, we all got to meet Tony Iommi anyway and break stuff.

So yeah… that’s a brief rundown of our European vacation… putting the Griswolds to shame. We’ll have another update for ya soon if everybody can fly home without hitting buildings and stuff.

TOUR DATES FOR THE ICARUS LINE AND DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN FALL 2002 US TOUR
So here are the real dates for the final leg of The Dillinger Escape Plan & The Icarus Line World Tour. Sorry for any errors in the pervious updates but we at Buddyhead don’t book the shows, nor do we type out the dates. SO SUCK OUR FUCKING LIZARD. But if the name of your shitty town was misspelled or something, we’ll rub your crotch when we come through town. Don’t miss this show.
Tue Sep 24 Worchester, MA Palladium
Wed Sep 25 New York, NY The Knitting Factory
Thu Sep 26 Philadelphia, PA The Trocodero
Fri Sep 27 Washington,DC 9:30 Club
Mon Sep 30 Winstom-Salem, NC Ziggy’s
Fri Oct 04 Los Angeles, CA The Roxy
Sat Oct 05 Las Vegas, NV The Castle
Mon Oct 07 San Francisco, CA The Pound
Tue Oct 08 Portland, OR Roseland
Wed Oct 09 Seattle, WA Showbox
Fri Oct 11 Boise,ID 6th and Main
Sun Oct 13 Denver, CO Bluebird Theatre
Tue Oct 15 Kansas City, MO El Torreon

DON’T BLOW IT, ADVERTISE ON BUDDYHEAD!
If you have money and want to advertise on Buddyhead, email our new ad girl at bhads@buddyhead.com. Yes this does cost money and no we don’t trade banners, fuck off. That means if you work at a record label you should be telling your new media peeps to hook up some motherfuckin banner ads on our site. Don’t fuck this up! We will sell you thousands of stuffs.

Snapcase keeps telling people that their new record is “weird and dark”. Dude, you guys are fucking playing mosh metal for date raping college pussies with white sport hats. NOTHING you do is dark or weird, other than the fact that you live in Buffalo and you have a fucking kid toucher with a beard playing guitar.

Rivers Cuomo is still in party mode. Lately he’s been playing poker with “industry bigwigs” and taking all their dirty money.

The Donnas all have crushes on The Strokes, but won’t do shit about it cos they’re all weenies. Don’t believe that “40 boys in 40 nights” bullshit those chicks try to peddle. It’s more like, “40 books read before their 9:30 bedtime in 40 nights”. Troy Boy is pretty sure the drummer Donna is in love with him.

Wanna call that douche bag of a dipshit, Ryan Seacrest, from Star 98.7 and American Idol? Hit that fruitcake up at 310-360-1676 and let him know he’s uber-wack and that Buddyhead is for the children.

Slipknot took off their masks to show the world what inbred Midwest speedmetal hicks look like. Put those fucking masks back on! PLEASE!

Click here for the new Guns N’ Roses video.

BUDDYHEAD ON POWER 105.9 FM THIS SUNDAY NIGHT IN LOS ANGELES
On September 15th, Travis will be on the Mass Distortion show, Sunday night on Power 106 (105.9 ) from 10pm-12pm. The host, Cminus, and Travis will be shooting the shit and playing music. They’ll be taking calls too, so give em a shout.

BUDDYHEAD ON THE RADIO IN SAN DIEGO CALIFORNIA THIS MONDAY
On September 16th (this Monday night), from 10pm-Midnight, Travis from Buddyhead will be a guest on Scott Rigg’s Show on 92/1 Premium Radio, KFSD-FM (that’s a San Diego station). Tune in and listen as we will turn up the suck. Give us a call to request some music or just talk some shit. We’ll be taking calls.
Web site: www.independent.fm.
PH #:760.745.9292
AOL IM: coup921

Every two bit garage band from Australia & New Zealand is gravitating to the UK so they can get lauded as the new saviors of rock by shitty weekly magazines. Did we miss the meeting where everyone found out garage rock was cool?

Ink and dagger got mentioned in Rolling Stone by that shitty emo band Thursday. HEY THURSDAY, UNLESS YOU GUYS TURN DOWN THE SUCK, YOU ARE BANNED FROM TALKING ABOUT GOOD BANDS IN FASHION MAGAZINES LIKE ROLLING STONE! GOT IT? Don’t make us send Jeff Wood after you…

The chick from Kittie is the Gary Coleman of metal. Their dad is robbing them blind. Hey, when you guys turn 21, give us some of your money if you have any left over.

We just can’t keep our mouths shut about this one… The singer of New Found Glory has been struggling for years to disassociate himself from his father, Quintin Tarantino.

That band, Ok Go, who Capitol are trying to sell as a “rock band” totally suck a hairy nutsack. Don’t be fooled kids. First off you guys used pastel colors for your layout. THAT IS LAME! And Second, YOU GUYS ARE A SKA BAND!

Bluebird’s new album “Hot Blood” will be in stores October 22nd on Dim Mak. It’s a rocker and the artwork is made up of enlarged photos of the band members blood (blood’s cool), buy it. Oh and Steve Dim Mak knows how to party. http://www.bluebirdsounds.com/

Coheed And Cambria is determined to bring rasta emo to the masses. Someone better stop them before they get 5 billion dollars for playing their audio diarrhea.

The Juliana Theory still sucks.

Har Mar Superstar (Jessica Hopper’s boyfriend and Ron Jeremy look a like), got signed to some new record label with tons of cash to throw around (it’s owned by Hurley Clothing). He’s already been spotted hanging out with Ozzy’s chunky monkey of a daughter at the VMAS.. The word on the street is that he’s gonna write some songs for her record. We’re still sticking to our guns, unless someone figures out how to put Eddie Murphy’s “RAW” to music, we don’t want any funny with our rock. Thanks but no thanks.

Epitaph is somehow getting cooler. First Dillinger Escape Plan and now they just signed the greatest band in the world, TURBONEGRO. Ok, fess up! Who’s telling them what’s cool? Kids, if you haven’t heard them, hit their website now! We command you. Don’t think for a second that this even comes close to making us forget that Pully is on your label too guys.

Fuck The Used.

The “Guilty By Association Tour” featuring Dillinger Escape Plan, Dillinger 4, and The D4, will hit the road this December for a full U.S. tour.

Nick’s (from Queens Of The Stoneage) side project (and fake Black Flag band) Mondo Generator got signed to Ipecac. We heard it’s kinda rad. Someone get us a cd of that shit.

The singer of Jugheads Revenge likes it when girls put on strap on dildos and butt hump him silly. Seriously. I mean, come on… we couldn’t make up shit that fucked. In other Jugheads Revenge news, nobody cares about their Nofx cover band… still.

Neurosis shaved their beards. Now nobody likes them anymore.

On October 15th, Jets To Brazil, will be dropping a healthy slab of Emo in the form of their third studio album. It’s gonna be called, “Perfecting Loneliness”. Alvin already has a boner.

Rocket From The Crypt have a new album called “Live From Camp X-Ray” coming out on Emotaph on Oct. 22nd. No it’s not live. We heard it’s 10 songs in 22 minutes and there are “less horns. Sounds killer. John Reis is the coolest.

Travis wants to make sure when he dies, that he gets a Motor Cycle Funeral. Click here for their web page. What better way to leave this world than with your friends hauling ass down the open highway while you lie at peace in a sidecar? Now that’s rock n’ roll.

Nofx nearly lost their lives at the Gig On the Green festival in Scotland. An argument between a member of the band and a member of a local biker gang over whether or not the gang member could have a free t-shirt, escalated into the biker dude and his gang vowing to, “not let Nofx out of here alive”. The gang fucked with the band on stage and even pulled the power on them at one point. Nofx needed a police escort to their bus, and then quickly left town, barely escaping the biker dudes.

Thrice still suck. No more shorts on stage guys…. How many times do we have to tell you?

In Gay-Edge news, Gayrilla Biscuits is gearing up to record their debut full length album this fall. Start saving your lunch money you little bastards.

Drowning Pool is currently in the planning stages of finding a new singer by holding open auditions at Guitar Centers across the country. Word on the street is that the competition is just a publicity stunt, and the group has already chosen their new singer, Simon Brody, formerly of Drowning man.

Click here for Dave Grohl’s full take on the Kerrang Awards (he mentions The Icarus Line). Here’s the good stuff if you don’t feel like clicking.
“Oh, the Kerrang awards……what can I say? Lots of booze, lots of “boos” (whenever someone mentioned Nickelback, which bummed me out a little. Give em a break! They’re Canadian fer chrissakes!!). Saw some friends, made some new ones. Did you know that Bruce Dickenson from Iron Maiden is a pilot now? Yup. He’s pretty cool. Zoe Ball gave me a bottle of Absynthe and a sweet smile. Tony Iommi was his usual cool self. Perfect gentleman, like a Count, or a King. Rad. The Icarus Line boys were in fine form. Gotta love ‘em. I had my Mom and girl in tow, so I didn’t stay long. Headed back to the hotel bar and spent the rest of the night wondering why we got the Hall of Fame award.” HEY DAVE, NOT ONLY ARE NICKELBACK FROM CANADA BUT THEY FUCKING SUCK… IT’S OK TO BOO THEM. TRUST US.

Gideon Yago from MTV News (and Christmas Vacation fame) wants you to register to vote. Click here. The Gidster said “All you have to do is fill out the questionnaire, print it out, tack a stamp on and … like that … you’re a registered voter.” Sounds like a blast! Right kids? If beating your meat is more your style, you can always just masturbate for peace. http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/

Nick Nolte got busted for looking too much like Gary Busey. The pigs are always fucking with us longhairs…

THE MARS VOLTA ARE GOING ON A SHORT WEST COAST TOUR
Yep, The Mars Volta are going on tour at least once before they break up. All you shit-head fan dorks who live on the wrong coast might wanna fly out for these in case these dudes decide to break up and start another dub band. Don’t miss this one, you’ll regret it. We promise.
Mon Sept 30 Chico Brickworks
Tue Oct 1 San Luis Obispo SLO Brew
Wed Oct 2 Santa Barbara The Living Room
Thur Oct 3 San Diego The Scene w/blonde redhead
Sat Oct 5 Oak Canyon Ranch This Aint no Picnic
Sun Oct 6 Orangevale The Boardwalk
Mon Oct 7 San Francisco Bottom of the Hill

While we were over in the UK, we attended The Reading and Leeds festivals. First off, European festivals are light years ahead of American festivals. I mean they still suck cuz it’s a festival and no one wants to sit in the mud and rain to see way too many shitty bands, but it’s better than the ones in our country. And people in Europe actually like music. Imagine that!?! Anyhow, lots of shitty bands played, a few good ones too. The Icarus Line slayed (what do you expect us to say?), Pulp was decent, Aphex twin was amazing, The Pattern got the skinny white kids dancing, the Strokes had by far the worst stage sound…all you could hear was a snare, a guitar, and their zit faced singer, no wait – Sum 182 actually had worse sound – I take the Strokes thing back. Alec Empire was rad, The Hives sucked (whoever it was that told me that band was good live is fucking insane, those guys can’t even speak English let alone rock me with English), The Vines wet their pants, (http://php.ipc.co.uk/nmegallery/gallery.php?g=5&i=16) Walter and The Rival Schools were making everyone happy, The International Noise Conspiracy didn’t play their Stooges cover like we told em to (pussies), Janes Addiction were pretty rad (we heckled the ever-shirtless Dave Navarro though), and the rest is kind of a blur for some reason. Let’s put it this way, the food backstage was far more interesting than most of the bands that played. We missed Spiritualized (they played the night after The Icarus Line) and I’m pissed about that. But we did see them play their first Australian show ever when we were down under. And that my friends was fucking real noice. That’s not a typo. We met that geek from The Vines, who thinks he’s the new Kurt Cobain, backstage. When we asked what it was like to be better than Nirvana he didn’t have anything to reply. At least tell us to fuck off…. Jesus. That kid is a dork and his band sucks. The end. We also met Rivers Cuomo backstage and his marine friend Jerry (or something). Rivers put up with all our harassment like a champ while his jock friend Jerry told us that short hair was cool. We told him he was trippin.

Oh yeah, speaking of Reading… get this… A while ago we reported that the reason the Yeah Yeah Yeahs weren’t going to Reading was their singer Karen O was injured in a bar fight. Well that was a bit of a lie we made up. Sorry. The funny part is NME (you know, that English music tabloid that says a new band is the next savior of rock every other week) even printed our false gossip. You fools better start fact checking over there. Yeah so anyway, we just wanted to come clean and confess. The real reason the Yeah Yeah Yeahs didn’t make it over to Europe and to Reading was due to Karen O’s panic attacks. See last time the band flew overseas their plane was raided by police with guns drawn looking for possible terrorists, so now Karen is a bit freaked to fly.

Here’s a bit of rock trivia for your head: Both the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Shat have a song called “Bang” on their debut releases.

So while we were in the UK, we also attended The Kerrang Awards. What a huge pile of shit that was. Not that we expected anything more from a magazine who jerks off bands like Slipknot and The Offspring. Oh yeah, the Offspring won the “Classic Songwriter” award. That means Kerrang is putting them up there with Bob Dylan. Good choice guys. The other bands that won were Hundred Reasons, A, Foo Fighters won the “Hall of Fame” award, some band called Muse won “Best British Live Act” (they haven’t heard of Spiritualized yet in the offices of Kerrang), and Kasey Choas was in the house smashing glasses and telling everyone how he likes Refused more than the Beatles. What’s with all these lame nu-metal dudes thinking they understand Refused?

Before I forget, someone really needs to tell the British about some of these new and amazing inventions we have over here in the good ole’ US of A… showers and vegetables. What’s for breakfast? Meat, cheese, and bread. What’s for lunch? Meat, cheese, and bread. What’s for dinner? Meat, Cheese, and bread.

The Dillinger Escape Plan have a new EP with Mike Watt from the Minutemen on bass, called “Irony Is A Dead Scene” and it’s out in stores. Go pick it up cuz it’s killer. Epitaph is selling those like hot cakes and shit. When DEP played Reading, their new singer guy/gymnast Greg Puciato took a poo on stage and threw it at the crowd, rubbed it on his chest, and damn near puked all over the place because of it. Yeah you heard us… poo, real human poo. Poo is not cool, we agree. He was quoted as saying “A lot of people are making music for all the wrong reasons nowadays. There doesn’t seem to be much art just product. that being said I don’t feel there’s more of a difference between what I did on stage and what most bands are doing anyway so I figured I’d use the festival as a platform to kind of make that comparison more vivid. Coincidentally I also really had to go and it’s not like there’s a toilet on the side of the stage. That might have been the largest public viewing of a bowel movement in world history.” Hey Greg, pinch em off before you go on stage…no one wants to see, smell, or have your poo.

THE ICARUS LINE AND DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN ON TOUR
DEP is still out on the road with The Icarus Line as we speak. The number of times balls have touched male faces on that tour bus is probably in the high thousands. Some USA dates were just added. Go see them.
Tue Sep 24 Worchester, MA Middle East
Wed Sep 25 New York, NY The Knitting Factory
Thu Sep 26 Philadelphia, PA The Trocodero
Fri Sep 27 Washington,DC 9:30 Club
Mon Sep 30 Winstom-Salem, NC Ziggy’s
Fri Oct 04 Los Angeles, CA The Roxy
Sat Oct 05 Las Vegas, NV The Castle
Mon Oct 07 San Francisco, CA The Pound
Tue Oct 08 Portland, OR Roseland
Wed Oct 09 Seattle, WA Showbox
Sun Oct 13 Denver, CO Bluebird Theatre
Tue Oct 15 Kansas City, KS El Torreon

Speaking of Epitaph, they just signed Ikara Colt (dunno what they are all about) and they’ve got a new website. Oh look, it’s Orange! Wonder where they got that idea. Hmmm…. maybe here?

RADIO VAGO RECORD IN STORES NOVEMBER 19TH
Radio Vago’s debut release “Black & White Photo Enterprise” will hit stores on November 19th. We’ll have it really soon for mail order in the Buddyhead store. They will be playing The Troubadour on October 14th with The Fall and the Fuse. Come and watch them blow those other two bands off the friggin’ stage.

YOUR ENEMIES FRIENDS ON TOUR WITH THE DONNAS
Your Enemies Friends will be out on tour with The Donnas real soon like. American Hi-Fi was originally supposed to be on the tour as well, but when those geeks found out a “Buddyhead band” was on the tour they pulled off cuz they were scared we’d tell everyone how bad their band sucks or something. Dorks. Your Enemies Friends will also be opening for The Icarus Line and The Dillinger Escape Plan when they play the Roxy in Hollywood on Friday, October 4th. Who ever is making the ads for The Roxy needs to find the SPELL CHECK FEATURE…Be there.
Wed Oct 23 Los Angeles, CA Roxy
Thu Oct 24 San Francisco, CA Great American
Fri Oct 25 Portland, OR Crystal Ballroom
Sat Oct 26 Seattle, WA Graceland
Mon Oct 28 Vancouver, BC Richard’s
Thu Oct 31 Minneapolis, MN Ascot Room @ The Quest
Sat Nov 02 Cleveland, OH Agora Ballroom
Sun Nov 03 Detroit, MI The Majestic
Mon Nov 04 Buffalo, NY The Continental
Tue Nov 05 Pittsburgh, PA Club Laga
Wed Nov 06 Toronto, ONT The Opera House
Thu Nov 07 Boston, MA Middle East
Sun Nov 10 Brooklyn, NY Warsaw
Mon Nov 11 New York, NY Bowery Ballroom
Tue Nov 12 Philadelphia, PA The Trocodero
Wed Nov 13 Washington, DC Black Cat
Thu Nov 14 Winstom-Salem, NC Ziggy’s
Fri Nov 15 Atlanta, GA Masquerade
Sun Nov 17 Orlando, FL Sapphire
Mon Nov 18 Tampa, FL Twilight
Tue Nov 19 Ft. Lauderdale, FL The Culture Room
Wed Nov 20 Tallahassee, FL Floyd’s
Fri Nov 22 New Orleans, LA Shim Sham Club
Sat Nov 23 Houston, TX Fitzgerald’s
Sun Nov 24 Austin, TX Emo’s
Tue Nov 26 Phoenix, AZ Nile Theatre
Fri Nov 29 Los Angeles, CA El Rey
Sat Nov 30 San Francisco, CA The Fillmore

Speaking of Buddyhead releases, the 65 tracked Shat’s “The Best Of Shat” will be in stores on September 10th. So I guess that means rock will be saved on exactly September 10th. NME says that the Vines are better than Nirvana and are gonna save rock n’ roll and all that bullshit. Well Buddyhead says that Shat, even on a bad day, is better than the Vines, even if they ever do learn how to play their instruments. Click here for the Shat “best of” track listing.

BUDDYHEAD ON THE RADIO IN SAN DIEGO CALIFORNIA
On September 16th (Monday night), from 10pm-Midnight, Travis from Buddyhead will be a guest on Scott Rigg’s Show on 92/1 Premium Radio, KFSD-FM (that’s a San Diego station). Tune in and listen as we will turn up the suck. Give us a call to request some music or just talk some shit. We’ll be taking calls.
Web site: www.independent.fm.
PH #:760.745.9292
AOL IM: coup921

So we caught part of the MTV VMAS 2002 the other night… was it just us or was the word of the night “rock”? Our bet is that those VJs were getting extra points every time they said the word. MTV really wants America to know that it’s going to buy “rock” from them really soon. Rock is coming back, in case you didn’t hear. Like it ever went anywhere… dipshits. So anyways, in case you somehow were lucky enough to miss the VMAs this year, here’s our rundown of what happened…
The Boss played and no one cared. If you are saying to yourself, “What the heck?!? I cared!” you are what they call a hillbilly. Eminem won a lot of awards, proved he was a jock by yelling at Moby, and then rapped over his CD. Now that was exciting, live entertainment at its best for sure. How come no one else is thinking rapping over your cd is lame? Some fruitcake from N’ Sync break danced. Michael Jackson did something. The Brady Bunch won some awards for something. Dashboard Confessional won an award for being really safe, boring, and clean. Christina was in the house, not to promote a new record but to let the world to know she now has fake boobs and is on speed. The Hives (is that bass player getting fatter or is it just us?) and The Vines both stunk up the stage (it was the Vines 61st show. Hey Viners, how does it feel to be better than Nirvana like NME says you guys are after only 61 shows? True talent indeed!) The singer from the vines ended up boning Paris Hilton. We’re sure they had an amazing conversation in the morning. One can only imagine what those two brain surgeons talk about when they are together. Kangaroos and Prada. Gideon Yago was backstage fluffing The Strokes before they proceeded to take a bunch of famous chicks back to their hotel rooms. Who the fuck is Jimmy Fallon? Hip hop is fucking boring these days. But we’re in luck, cuz in case you haven’t heard rock is coming back. MTV is making sure they get all those cute and cuddly rock bands on! NEWSFLASH: rock isn’t cute and clean or cuddly. Ok anyways, then the shit hit the fan… Axl and his cover band that he calls “Guns N’ Roses” were the Grand Finale. Man was that weird! First off Axl is T-R-I-P-P-I-N-G! YO AXL! THIS BAND ISN’T GUNS AND ROSES! SLASH, DUFF, AND IZZY ARE HANGING OUT WITH THE DUDE IN BUCKCHERRY CUZ YOU ARE A FUCKING BIPOLAR DIPSHIT WHO WON’T TAKE HIS MEDICINE NOW! YOU HAVE A GUY WITH A CHICKEN BUCKET ON HIS HEAD WHERE SLASH USED TO BE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING? TAKE YOUR FUCKING MEDICINE AXL! YOU HAD YOUR HAIR IN LAME BRAIDS AND WERE WEARING BAGGY LEATHER PANTS WITH A FOOTBALL JERSEY AS WELL?!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT? BASICALLY, YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR FREAKY LITTLE HAIRPLUGGED SELF BACK TO YOUR LITTLE MANSION AND STAY THERE. DON’T BUM US OUT LIKE THAT AGAIN. Someone should just kick the shit out of the new Axl, the old Axl would want it that way I think. Jesus, remind me not to watch this crap again next year.

Graham Coxon quit Blur.

In case you needed further proof that Coke is better than Pepsi…. Papa Roach will be in a new series of commercials for Pepsi. The best part is the dick that directed “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is shooting them. Sign of the times anyone?

Rivers Cuomo is in party mode.

Radiohead is recording a record in LA. The entire band showed up at a recent Beck show and Radiohead sightings are coming in from all over town. We heard they are looking to party…if that is true Radiohead needs to email us (buddyhead@buddyhead.com) and we’ll show them how to party.

Axl Rose is totally tripping!

Someone better send us a copy of the new Black Flag tribute Henry Rollins put together with his Rollins band playing and superstar guest singers (it’s for charity, don’t get mad). We heard Iggy doing “Fix Me” and it’s fucking awesome to say the least! Also singing on the comp are Cedric from the Mars Volta, Chuck D, Keith Morris, Nick from Queens, Ice-T (how perfect is it that Ice-T is singing Police Story?), Tom Araya, Lemmy from Motorhead, Former black Flag Bassist – Chuck Dukowski, Tim Armstrong, and Grateful Dead Tattoo haver – Lars Frederiksen. No sign of Gregg Ginn in sight on here. It’s pretty obvious Gregg took one look at the track listing and saw Kasey Choas, some guy from Slipknot, and Ryan Adams and told Henry he was tripping! Who lets those fucking geeks on a Black Flag comp? Henry’s gotta make sure it’s a little bit lame if he’s involved no matter what. As if his muscles and short shorts weren’t already bumming us all out enough.
* “Rise Above” (with Public Enemy’s Chuck D, Henry Rollins)
* “Nervous Breakdown” (with the Circle Jerks’ Keith Morris)
* “Fix Me” (with Iggy Pop)
* “American Waste” (with Clutch’s Neil Fallon)
* “I’ve Had It” (with the Mars Volta’s Cedric Bixler)
* “I’ve Heard It Before” (with Poison the Well’s Jeff Moreira)
* “Room 13″ (with Slipknot’s Corey Taylor)
* “Wasted” (with Exene Cervenka)
* “Jealous Again” (with Queens of the Stone Age’s Nick Oliveri)
* “TV Party” (with Henry Rollins)
* “No Values” (with Hank Williams III)
* “Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie” (with Ween’s Dean Ween)
* “Depression” (with Amen’s Casey Chaos)
* “Six Pack” (with Mike Patton)
* “Police Story” (with Ice-T)
* “Revenge” (with Slayer’s Tom Araya)
* “Thirsty & Miserable” (with Motörhead’s Lemmy Kilmister)
* “What I See” (with Chuck Dukowski)
* “No More” (with Rancid’s Tim Armstrong, Lars Frederiksen)
* “Black Coffee” (with Henry Rollins)
* “Slip It In” (with Henry Rollins, Inger Lorre)
* “Annihilate This Week” (with Henry Rollins, Kira Roessler)
* “My War” (with Henry Rollins)
* “Nervous Breakdown” (with Ryan Adams)

Attention pasty white children, Sleater Kinney’s got a new record out, go pick that one up.

The Burning Brides let Hot Snakes have their drummer back for a bit so they could play some shows. Well, Mr. Reis and co. finally played Hollywood a few nights on one the hottest nights of the year. 105 during the day. Show report: opening band played for five hours, it was hot, hot snakes came on, they slayed, it was hot, they played “Bullet Train To Vegas”, it ruled, lots of kids in tight pants, sweating, the end.

Right now the guys in Incubus are thinking about….. their moms. How exciting!

The Mars Volta are wrapping up pre-production on their debut full length and are getting ready to enter the studio with Rick Rubin. We heard the demos slay. Get ready for “punk floyd” kids, it’s gonna be good.

Piebald had to cancel their tour with Dashboard Confessional. Their emo fieldtrip with the cleanest tattooed guy on earth was cut short due to their singer, Travis Shettle, having to undergo vocal chord surgery. He’s gotta have some gnarly blood blisters and other shit cut off his chords. The surgeon wielding the knife is the same guy who cuts up Elton John’s throat. Which is kinda neat. Check their website for more info, we heard they are selling shirts to help pay for it or something. Maybe Rama was lying about that. We’re not sure. www.piebald.com

Joey C. of Danzig/Prong is taking Dave Grohl’s seat behind the drums for Queens Of The Stoneage. He had one practice and started their US tour, what a pro. Hey will one of you stupid shitheads that work for The Queens label send us their fucking record already? Everyone and their moms have it but us! What the fuck? You guys are blowing it…. we actually like that band, send us the fucking record. We write about that shit.

Rumor has it that Tomahawk’s Mike Patton pissed on Maynard and Adam’s legs during a recent Tool performance. It must of not have bummed them out that bad because Tomahawk is still on the tour.

The McRib is back… still.

After playing an LA show at the Troubadour, The Explosion are receiving an onslaught of offers from just about every major label in existence. They are also listed in the new Hits magazine (HITS is a magazine for dipshits in the music industry who don’t know anything about music – if you fall into that category please know that the people who do Buddyhead hate you) as a “buzz show”. That means they are gonna have major label slime balls nibbling on their dicks like a rat does cheese. Free Lunches!

Right now Fred Durst is thinking… “boobs, boobs, boobs, I need to learn how to play guitar quick, boobs, boobs.”

The Division Of Laura Lee are changing their name. They recently posted on their website that their new band name, which they think better describes their sound, will be “Shit”. Hey guys, that’s a good band for you and all but there’s already a band called Shat! And to be honest, if it came down to it, Jeff Wood is way bigger than any of you little mod fruitcakes. Don’t front.

Oh get this, this is great! Those pop punk geeks in New Found Glory are putting together a Bjork/Sugarcubes tribute comp on Atticus. Let me guess all the bands will prolly sound like their band maybe? Of course, all those pop punk bands just listen to each other’s bands. If you put shit in, you get shit out. We feel sorry for Bjork.

Boy Sets Fire told us that they are going on tour with Snatchface and some Victory band they’ve never heard of, and then going to Europe for 4 weeks. After that they’ve got a record coming out in September, which will be half live and half nu-emo. Did we mention that they are on Creed’s label? Geeks.

Oh yeah… Boy Sets Fire also told us that they played Furnace Fest to “a bunch of black haired tight pants jaded 16 year old assholes and it sucked”. So they got drunk and fucked with Andrew WK. Their guitar player got loaded and on a 10 dollar bet ran out and put him on his shoulders. Andrew was stoked. He high roved that when he high fived him after the show. Andrew WK knows how to party! (Photo1)(Photo2)

Burger King has two tacos for .99.

Phantom Planet totally suck in case you didn’t already know. Any band with both an actor AND a model as members completely sucks. You can’t convince us you like The Who drummer man.

Seattle band Earth have announced their first live shows in over 8 years. Earth will perform as a two-piece with Dylan Carlson on guitar and Adrienne Davies on drum.
The dates are as follows:
9/16 – The Pond – Boston
9/17 – Knitting Factory – New York
9/18 – Khyber – Philadelphia
9/19 – Velvet Lounge – Washington DC

Black Sabbath and Blue Oyster Cult’s 1980 Concert Film “Black & Blue” will finally be released on DVD on October 8th, 2002. ‘Black & Blue’ has never been issued on home video at all until now. This 80-minute cult film has managed to avoid being widely bootlegged. Yes it is the Duo era, but the film was produced by the late George Harrison so that kind of makes up for the lack of Ozzy. Plus you know they put “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper,” on there, so that alone is worth watching this film. Haha.
www.classicpictures.co.uk
www.ronniejamesdio.com
www.blueoystercult.com

Sub Pop is selling some hot new shirts for The Catheters, check it! Fashion bands always have the best shirt models.

Jawbreaker finally released their B-sides comp on Adam’s label Blackball records under the title “ETC”. Aaron jacked off to it the whole time we were in Europe. He said the new mastering sounds good and the artwork is decent. Here’s the track listing:
* Shield Your Eyes
* Equalized
* Caroline
* Better Half
* Split
* Gutless
* With or Without U2
* Fantastic Planet
* Rich
* Peel It the Fuck Down
* Pretty Persuasion
* Kiss the Bottle
* First Step
* Friends Back East
* Sea Foam Green
* Housesitter
* Into You Like a Train
* Sister
* Friendly Fire
* Boxcar

The Distillers are hitting the big time it looks like, They are going to be opening for Garbage and the self-loving Gwen Stefani (and most likely featuring the other dudes from No Doubt who don’t get to be in the video as well). Wow, what a giant suckfest that’s gonna be.

Snoop Dogg is sober (yeah not even weed) and is in the studio with The Neptunes recording his next record. We heard he wants to kick the shit out of Spiderman in his next video cuz “Spiderman didn’t have any black people in it!” We think Snoop could kick the shit out of that midge.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers have a new album coming out. Tom Petty for sure smokes more weed than Snoop Dogg now.

The Warped Tour is funding the Taliban.

Autolux got signed to some new fake label that The Cohen Brothers started called DMZ (they have a P&D with Columbia Records). Sounds rock n roll dudes. Autolux will enter into a studio in late October to start recording their debut full length record.

That shitty pop punk band Yellowcard got signed to Capitol. Yeah can you believe that those little geeks don’t gotta get jobs now? There’s no justice in rock. Will this pop punk shit ever go away? It won’t, will it? Fuck….

That band The Trust Company needs to pull up their fucking pants and buy another record besides “The Shape Of Punk To Come”. Death to all mall punks.

Someone tell that guy in Blink to get another record too. In every interview he talks about how he’s been listening to Refused. It’s like, GET ANOTHER FUCKING RECORD DORK! Refused are good and all, but expand your horizons geek.

If you don’t already own it, go buy the Spacemen 3’s album “Taking Drugs to Make Music to Take Drugs to”.

When Bluebird played The Sunset Junction, Wayne Kramer (from the MC5) joined them on stage to help bring the rock. As if things couldn’t get any better, Long Duck Dong from the movie 16 Candles was spotted in the crowd, wasted and screaming! No joke. The Bird is going on the road. Go see them blow those geeks in Shit off the stage.
9/7 meow meow portland or. w/sparta
10/7 slims san francisco, ca. w/international noise conspiracy
10/22 el rey, los angeles, ca. w/international noise conspiracy, division of laura lee
10/23 glasshouse, pomona, ca. w/international noise conspiracy, division of laura lee
10/27-11/23 U.S Tour

Dead Meadow are possibly coming to your town. Make sure you don’t miss these guys if you happen to live in one of these shitty cities. Don’t fuck this one up. They will be playing with the Brian Jonestown Massacre and some furry band, so get there early.
September 23rd New York City Bowery Ballroom Brian Jonestown Massacre
September 24th Boston, MA Middle East Brian Jonestown Massacre
September 25th Hoboken, NJ Maxwells Brian Jonestown Massacre
September 26th Washington DC 9:30 Club Super Furry Animals
September 27th Chapel Hill, NC Cats Cradle Super Furry Animals
September 28th Pittsburgh, PA TBA Super Furry Animals
September 29th Cincinatti, OH Southgate House Super Furry Animals
September 30th Indianapolis, IN Birdy’s Super Furry Animals
October 1st Atlanta, GA TBA Brian Jonestown Massacre
October 3rd Houston, TX Rudyard Brian Jonestown Massacre
October 4th Austin, TX Emo’s Brian Jonestown Massacre
October 5th Dallas, TX Gypsy Tearoom Brian Jonestown Massacre

Sparta is starting their US tour in support of their new full length, Wiretap Scars. They’ll be playing with Jimmy Eat World, Cave-In, Small Brown Bike, Longfellow (wow, they are still a band? Yikes), and the Papa Roach fans in Loudermilk. Also, if you are a TV head, make sure to check out Sparta when they appear on the Conan O’Brien show Sept 24th. After that Sparta is going on tour with Hundred Reasons in Europe. It’s gonna suck opening for a band who is nothing more than a bad imitation of your old band. Meanwhile Hundred Reasons are still trying to pretend someone in America has actually heard of their shitty pop punk band.
Sparta dates are as follows:
September 05 Seattle, WA – Graceland (listen to KNDD around 2pm for a live sparta performance on the air! and ticket giveaways) w/guests Pleasure Forever and Loudermilk
07 Portland, OR – Meow Meow w/guests Bluebird
08 San Francisco, CA – Slims w/guests Longfellow and Loudermilk
09 Pomona, CA – Glasshouse w/guests Longfellow and Loudermilk
10 Tempe, AZ – Nita’s Hideaway w/guests Longfellow and Loudermilk
12 Austin, TX – Music Hall w/Jimmy Eat World and Cave-In
13 Dallas, TX – Bronco Bowl w/Jimmy Eat World and Cave-In
14 Tulsa, OK – KMYZ Edgefest @ Will Rogers Downs w/Jimmy Eat World, Blindside, Cave-in, Sugarcult, and Sevendust.
16 Houston, TX – Verizon Wireless Theater w/Jimmy Eat World and Cave-In
17 New Orleans, LA W/Cave-in
19 Atlanta, GA – Tabernacle w/Jimmy Eat World and Cave-In
20 Columbia, SC – WARQ show at Finley Park w/Jimmy Eat World, Cave-in and a lot of other bands
21 Richmond, VA – WDYL fest w/Jimmy Eat World, Cave-in, Finch, American Hi-Fi, others
22 Washington DC – GWU Free show to GWU students and their guests, with Jimmy Eat World and Cave-In
23 Philadelphia, PA – TLA with Cave-In and Breaking Panagea
24 CONAN OBRIEN
25 Grand Rapids, MI – Calvin College w/Jimmy Eat World and Cave-In
26 Green Bay, WI – Phoenix Sports Center w/Jimmy Eat World and Cave-In
27 Chicago, IL – Metro w/Cave-In and Small Brown Bike
28 Atlanta, GA – 99X BDO fest @ Hi Fi Buys w/Stone Pilots, Sum 41, Filter, The Roots, New Found Glory
30 Detroit, MI – Clutch Cargo w/Cave-In and Small Brown Bike
OCTOBER
01 Toronto, ONT – Phoenix Concert Hall w/Cave-In and Small Brown Bike
02 Ottawa, ONT – Babylon w/Cave-In and Small Brown Bike
04 Boston, MA – Paradise w/Cave-In and Small Brown Bike
05 Washington, DC – Black Kat w/Cave-In and Small Brown Bike
06 New York, NY – Bowery Ballroom w/Cave-In and Small Brown Bike

Our good buddies from Seattle, Playing Enemy, are on tour right now. Damian said for us to tell everyone who is planning on coming out to the shows that they really appreciate presents and places to stay.
9/6/02 Boise, ID / JD’s
9/7/02 Lindon, UT / Suite 13
9/8/02 Denver, CO / Crowbar
9/9/02 Omaha, NE / House show
9/10/02 Lawrence, KS / Replay Lounge w/ Esoteric
9/11/02 St. Louis, MI / Creepy Crawl w/ Sixer
9/12/02 Indianapolis, IN / Solidarity Books w/ The Dream is Dead, Anodyne,
Black Widows
9/13/02 Chicago, IL / Fireside Bowl w/ Lickgoldensky
9/14/02 Ypsilanti, MI / Mr. Mugs w/ Lickgoldensky
9/15/02 Cleveland, OH / Grog Shop w/ Lickgoldensky & Keelhaul
9/16/02 Toronto, ON / Lee’s Palace w/ Cursed
9/17/02 Ottowa, ON / Underground w/ Cursed
9/18/02 Montreal, QB / Cafe L’Inconditionnel w/ Cursed
9/19/02 Portland, ME / The Skinny w/ Conifer
9/20/02 Boston, MA / Papa’s w/ Anodyne, Shot Dead
9/21/02 Philadelphia, PA / Funrama w/ Lickgoldensky, Anodyne
9/22/02 New York, NY / CBGB w/ Andoyne, Mastodon, Burnt By The Sun
9/23/02 Baltimore, MD / The Bloodshed w/ Lickgoldensky, Monger, Suckpig
9/24/02 Huntington, WV / Mooneys w/ Lickgoldensky
9/25/02 Louisville, KY / Aslan’s w/ Black Widows
9/26/02 Memphis, TN / Map Room w/ Love Lost But Not Forgotten
9/27/02 Little Rock, AR / Vinos
9/28/02 Ft. Worth, TX / Wreck Room w/ Yeti
9/29/02 New Orleans, LA / Dixie Tavern
9/30/02 Austin, TX / Emo’s w/ Snapcase
10/1/02 drive
10/2/02 Phoenix, AZ / Jugheads
10/3/02 Tucson, AZ / Skrappy’s
10/4/02 San Diego, CA / Che Cafe
10/5/02 Anaheim, CA / Chain Reaction
10/6/02 San Francisco, CA / The Pound w/ Blessing The Hogs
10/7/02 Eureka, CA / Rumours w/ Peyote Calamity
10/8/02 Portland, Or / Blackbird w/Isis, thrones

The Icarus Line world tour 2002.
August 8th Adelaide , Australia Music House
August 9th Melbourne, Australia Evelyn Hotel
August 10th Melbourne, Australia Evelyn Hotel
August 11th Sydney, Australia Club 77
August 12th Sydney, Australia Club 77
August 13th Brisbane, Australia The Gabba
August 17th Tokyo, Japan Summer Sonic
August 18th Osaka, Japan Summer Sonic
August 23rd Belgium Pukkelpop Festival
August 24th Reading, UK Reading Festival
August 25th Leeds, UK Leeds Festival

Somebody pinch us… We’re going to Spiritualized show in Melbourne on Friday. Tell J. Spaceman to get the party ready for us, we’ll see him backstage.

We’re all on the lash… sorry.

As for Aussie-gossip, so far we heard Midnight Oil broke up, The kid from Silverchair has weak bones now and is pretty fucked up, The Vines hired a drummer for their record cuz their drummer can’t play, and people hear talk funny.

You heard it here first… Radio Vago blows away all the wacky, shitty bands you think are “hip” from New York, Detroit, and Sweden or wherever other shitty cities you kids think are cool these days. These 5 ladies from Los Angeles deliver the goods which have been described as Siouxsie and The Banshees meets Bauhaus. Their debut 5 song e.p. will be released on Buddyhead shortly with a full length close behind. They are also hitting the road in a couple weeks, and are a live force to be reckoned with. Don’t miss it. We’ll post tour dates when we get them.

The Icarus Line are touring the world starting next week. Since getting back from their European tour last week, The Icarus Line have been busy at home in L.A. locked away in a studio recording new material, tattooing small furry animals on Troy Boy’s back, eating pills, and getting decked in the face. Speaking of getting decked in the face, check out The Icarus Line interview Hal Ba Dal did in the new issue of Thrasher Magazine… the photos in their interview say that Aaron is Joe and vice versa. So if you wanna deck either one of those dudes in the face, make sure you know who you’re decking first. Also, the gay icon himself, Travis Keller, will be joining the band on the Australian and European legs of the tour. Travis will be taking photos and shooting footage for the upcoming Buddyhead dvd as well as an Icarus Line music video. Also, while in Australia, Joe and Travis will be debuting their new country cover band called “Penance Suaree”. Check it out. Oh yeah… and back to the topic of getting decked in the face… if anybody at any of the shows bugs us about why we’re not selling Buddyhead shirts at the shows, you get decked in the face. Order it on our store schmucko. Click here for that store chump. More tour dates throughout Europe following Reading and Leeds will be announced shortly…
August 8th Adelaide , Australia Music House
August 9th Melbourne, Australia Evelyn Hotel
August 10th Melbourne, Australia Evelyn Hotel
August 11th Sydney, Australia Club 77
August 12th Sydney, Australia Club 77
August 13th Brisbane, Australia The Gabba
August 17th Tokyo, Japan Summer Sonic Festival
August 18th Osaka, Japan Summer Sonic Festival
August 23rd Belgium Pukkelpop Festival
August 24th Reading, UK Reading Festival
August 25th Leeds, UK Leeds Festival

Buddyhead is looking to own a laptop before we leave for OZ on Saturday… if you live in the L.A. area and want to either give us your laptop or even give us a good price on one that your selling… email us buddyhead@buddyhead.com. Thanks pal.

Anyhow, back to The Icarus Line… Their latest Peel session featuring the new songs: “The Big Sleep”, “Kiss Like Lizards”, “Getting Bright At Night”, and “Miss Bliss” will be broadcast on the John Peel show on July 24th between 10pm and 12am UK time. Don’t miss that one you limey little fucks.

And in case anyone was wondering… Yes, The Vines totally fucking suck.

A bunch of aging rock bands at the moment think that the only possible way they can capitalize on this whole pseudo “indie explosion” thingy of the moment is to lie about their age so they look cooler. Among those bands is The Mooney Suzuki. They want you to believe they are all in their young 20’s. Naw brah. The singer for example is well into his 30’s. We’ll be blowing the whistle on even more overrated and over-hyped bands very soon.

Robbie Williams’s bassist was hit by a car outside of Bloomingdales in NYC last week. The guy is alive and all, so we figured it wouldn’t really be in bad taste to point out how much of a fucking fruitcake that Robbie Williams guy is. We’re calling George Michael on the Robster. Ten bucks says that in like 5 years he’ll be butt-fucking 65 year-old truck drivers in some California Highway rest area bathroom. What the fuck is with all these VH1 watching-types seeming to like this turd too? Is it because it’s cool to like shit that’s “big” in the U.K.? Yeah cause the Brits really know what’s up huh? We’ve got two words for you dorks…. SPICE GIRLS.

The Hives still have some grotesquely obese dudes in their band… and it still isn’t cool.

Last week, Your Enemies Friends were at Tom’s house eating all of his food, letting bugs into his house, and watching all the DVD porno they can get their greasy little hands on (and you know in Tom’s house that’s a lot, the man on man section alone takes up two full rooms)… oh yeah, and they were demo-ing some new tracks as well. As long as the songs don’t suck, they’ll be on the upcoming full length record that Buddyhead will be putting out by the end of the year.

Lou Reed is cooler than you’ll ever be.

Red Hot Chili Peppers put out another audio poop. Our favorite lyric on the album is where he goes “shim shim shimmy, whimmy dimmy ginny, zip zip zippy…” he’s such a fucking poet it almost brings a tear to our eyes. How is this clown still tricking everyone into thinking he’s a singer. That dude who was on junk so bad he quit the band and then re-joined, and who doesn’t know which buildings got hit by planes and fell down last year still rules though.

McRib is back. Still.

Dave Grohl is ripping off our lingo lately. Killer. We need to start charging people…

Tim Owen of Jade Tree records has phone sex with cast members of “The Real World”. HIT THAT SHIT TIM!

It seems that Slash, Duff, and the drummer guy with the poodle head that Axl “fired” are blowing it in more ways than one… Not only did they let that wanker from Buckcherry in their new band, but they whored themselves out out to America’s favorite four-car garage band. Yeah, The Strokes threw down some cash, again, and hired the former Guns N’ Roses members for their new video. Maybe Slash can buy himself a new pair of leather pants from the cash he got from those French speaking willie touchers. You know what? We’re just going to pretend like none of this fucking happened.

Travis is a gay sex icon in Nottingham, England.

Aaron is a gay sex icon everywhere else.

Initial Records is putting out another winner of a cd… this time it’s “The Black Widows” which features ex-members of The National Acrobat… Basically it’s like Guns N’ Roses without Axl. No Casper, no dice.

Rama’s going to Portland.

The on again, off again project known as Tapeworm (featuring Trent Reznor and a bunch of guests like Maynard from Tool) is back “on” at least for the moment. Trent stopped being all goth and telling everyone he sucks dicks long enough to track the drums for the project at an Atlanta, GA studio. If the whole record is not about drugs, fucking people like animals, and pig fucking, then Trent is a sell out.

Simon Brody needs a band. Yeah, we never really liked Drowningman all that much. In fact we think they totally sucked donkey balls all day long and even into the night sometimes. Anyway, it seems that the other lame asses in Drowningman forgot that this is ROCK N FUCKING ROLL and not SUNDAY SCHOOL. Those bunch of whiners got all crybaby on our pal Simon for “partying too much”. Like, what the fuck else do you want him to do? YOU GUYS LIVE IN FUCKING VERMONT! You’re lucky he’s not out getting arrested for smoking crack and tipping cows in some field or whatever it is everyone else in that state does for fun. Jesus, we’ve only spent a little bit of time in that shithole town and even we were wanting to slice our faces off with potato peelers. We aren’t going to bore you with the details of this shit, cause we don’t even care. Let’s just say, you know it’s time to go when a guy who’s got framed Earth Crisis posters starts bragging about the fact that he’s from Florida and played in some lame-o mosh band “Poison the Well” and gets all bossy-bossy on you. So, Simon packed up his bong and the rest of his shit. If you want Simon to be in your band, drink all your beer, steal all of your mom’s pills, and fuck any slice of pizza that he sees contact him at simonbrody@aol.com

In Kid Rock’s new video, he wipes his ass with toilet paper that says “Radiohead” on it. We were surprised he didn’t use the dildo that he usually wipes it with.

Speaking of boobs, Dolly Parton covered Zeppelin’s “Stairway To Heaven” on her new album. We have two things to say about this… 1) No one needs to hear Stairway again. 2) In case you still haven’t heard, Dolly Parton has really big melons. We’re talkin’ HUGE!

The Shat album “The Cunt Chronicles” on none other than Buddyhead Records has already been BANNED! That’s right. We manufactured thousands of cd’s and then our distributor said they wouldn’t put it in stores cos it said “shit”, “fuck”, “cunt” etc. etc. all over it. So it looks like all you kids are going to have to keep it in your pants for the best album since Nirvana’s “Nevermind” a little longer. We’ll keep you posted.

Calling the world’s number one Shat fan who knows how to work a computer… this is gonna be tough. We need a SHAT WEBMASTER! If you think you can handle the job of running the world’s first website (well, second if you count us) that revolves around Jeff Wood and his band Shat then please stand up champion. You’ll never get paid a dime but you will be the first one (almost) to hear all the latest SHATNEWS and prolly even get to talk to Jeff on the phone in the wee hours of the morning when he’s up on coke! Email travis if you wanna apply, make sure to include links to sites you’ve built and tell us why Jeff should hire you.

Moby is still bald, and there is still nothing cool about that.

David Bowie still thinks Moby is cool, and there’s really nothing cool about that.

Gideon Yago just got home from ice fishing in Alaska or something. This kid is T-R-I-P-P-I-N-G.

We just got the new Botch e.p. and it’s K-I-L-L-E-R. Get this when it hits stores.

Kylie Minogue put out some concert DVD called “Kylie Live In Sydney” and it’s been banned in Malaysia due to the country’s film censorship board cracking down on movie and TV video releases that do not meet the Asian nation’s guidelines with regards to sex, violence, and obscenity. I’m sure Kylie’s label is really bummed. Do they even have DVD players in Malaysia?

Where the fuck our copies of the new Rolling Stone’s ABKO re-releases? Someone better get on that.

Sometimes we really wish we did this section in audio format, so you could feel the disgust a bit more. In case you weren’t quite convinced that Rivers Cuomo and his kid touching/science teacher beard is a total goon… Rivers is helping Crazy Town write their next album. Killer huh? Apparently the only fee Rivers has requested for his input is that the band make another video like that “Butterfly” one, and that they let him be in it. The only demand Rivers had was that in this video, the chicks dancing around in the field would all be 14 and Japanese.

Pink is trying to trick anyone into thinking she’s not a lesbian by banging that dinosaur, Steven Tyler.

Meanwhile, Steven Tyler is banging Pink so people stop saying he’s fucking his daughter.

FINALLY The Who’s first album “The Who Sings My Generation” will be given the “deluxe” treatment just like all their other albums already have been, and be reissued on August 27. Their debut album, which was released in 1965, has now been remixed, remastered, and expanded to a total of 30 tracks. The new version will now be on 2 cd’s and include 6 previously unreleased songs. We all have boners. The new tracklisting is:

Disc One: “Out In The Street,” “I Don’t Mind,” “The Good’s Gone,” “La-La Lies,” “Much Too Much,” “My Generation,” “The Kids Are Alright,” “Please, Please, Please,” “It’s Not True,” “I’m A Man,” “A Legal Matter,” “The Ox,” “Instant Party (Circles),” “I Can’t Explain,” “Bald Headed Woman,” and “Daddy Rolling Stone.”

Disc Two: “Leaving Here,” “Lubie (Come Back Home),” “Shout And Shimmy,” “(Love Is Like A) Heatwave,” “Motoring,” “Anytime You Want Me,” “Anyway Anyhow Anywhere,” “Instant Party Mixture,” “I Don’t Mind” (full version), “The Good’s Gone” (full version), “My Generation” (instrumental), “Anytime You Want Me” (a capella), “A Legal Matter” (mono), and “My Generation” (mono)

Do you have a few unnecessary leftover bricks in your front yard? Well, we’ve found a use for them! (Rocks will work too). Incubus is going on tour. Here are your dates brick throwers:

THE PARTY IS BACK AT THE SCENE BAR THIS WEDNESDAY!!!

This Wednesday the party is back over at the Scene Bar (and where it is every Wednesday) with Sam Bluebird and Travis Buddyhead playing records from 9pm til the end (2am). Last week we took the week off for the Bluebird, Your Enemies Friends, Radio Vago, and The Kills show at The Troubadour, but don’t worry, it’s back to normal again kids. This week we even got us a real celebrity guest DJ appearance thing happening! Yep, we’re gonna let DJ J. Cardamone from The Icarus Line play some records. Aaron’s gonna be there too so if you wanna punch him for that bad review he gave your band you know where to find him. Anyhow, we play anything from punk, hardcore, no wave, new wave, classic rock, psych rock, soul, etc, etc, etc,…… you name it! Everything from the Gang Of Four to the 4 Tops. MC5 to the Jackson 5… the list goes on and on til the break of dawn…. This is a new place run by the people that brought you the ‘Short Stop’ in Echo Park. Come by and rock out with your bad self.

The bar is located in Glendale just north of Silverlake…the address is:
806 e. colorado blvd. 818-241-7029.

Directions from Hollywood:
Los Feliz Blvd. east to Brand Blvd-go left.
Brand Blvd. to E. Colorado Blvd.-go right.

You can also take the 2 freeway and exit Colorado, it’s five blocks west.

See how well you know you! We knew you had already forgotten about the amazing Buddyhead Online Store, so we figured we’d be a pal and remind you like this. It’s probably from all that pot you’ve been smoking, you need to cut back champ. I don’t mean to nag, sorry. Ok now get out that credit card and buy that Your Enemies Friends “The Wiretap EP” on CD as well as the limited colored vinyl LP. Oh, and you better make sure to get a one of our shirts too while you’re at it, get one big enough to cover up that new gut of yours too. Just fucking buy something… click here.

The Fourth of July was a big let down as far as I’m concerned. Our night ended with us following Mark Hydrahead (who was wearing his hair in a ponytail like a clown) up to Mulholland Drive to Tom Morrello’s house. He’s the guy from the Rangers Against The Machine or something someone said. Anyways, as soon as we walked in, Tom told everyone the party was over and to get out of his house. We missed the party, only left to wonder how crazy it probably was. I mean, he was wearing Hawaiian shorts and a visor. The weirdest part was that his house was decorated like some total parent house, not a rocker’s house. Gene Simmons was there. Kiss sucks. The “Rage” room had all his records and photos on the walls kinda made me wanna barf. The third of July @ The Scene was a good time until the pigs showed up and said we were over capacity. If Aaron were here he’d say “shoot pigs in the face”, and then he’d go get dress up in garter belts and lace wonderbras and jack off to pictures of dead hookers. We miss Aaron.

So anyway, the other night we happened to see part of that Dashboard Confessional unplugged thing and I must say my stomach is still in a knot. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ who knew you could cram so much fucking mutant retard into such a little tiny space? It’s amazing the things they can do now with technology. Watching this shit was about as uncomfortable as seeing a dozen alter boys being sodomized by a sweaty old Catholic priest. The crowd was overflowing with pasty faced zit ridded brainwashed 14 year old hot topic pigs, and their crying little girly boyfriends. It was a fucking Oxy commercial gone emo. The worst part is they were all singing along. Uber-wack! Pay attention kids, this is the height of the so-called emo explosion. In the future, this will be what people are going to point to and follow with a strong chuckle when the question unfolds “What was Emo daddy?”. It’ll be the equivalent of watching a Manowar video, complete comedy with a slight touch of horror. All this pansy assed bullshit has to end at some point. We’re waiting for a sign…..

….and that sign is looking like it will come in the form of a bald 32 year old from New Jersey who does landscaping in his spare time. That’s right kids, on July 30th, the neutron bomb drops on the musical landscape…. SHAT’S “…BEST OF THE CUNT CHRONICLES” CD is going to be unleashed on the world. You knew the day was coming, and it’s upon us. In less than one month, you’ll have over 60 songs of genius put to tape and shoved all up in your area. To say the excitement is overwhelming would be an understatement. The parent groups are gonna be pissed. Jeff’s gonna get laid. YOU WILL BUY THIS RECORD.

So get this, Saves the Day kicked out their guitar player, Ted. He was asked to leave by their singer Chris. Chris will now sing and play guitar when they do their little Muppet thing live. How cute. Oh wait, the best part is Vagrant doesn’t even know yet. Well, now they do.

While we’re talking about lame shit… I might as well get this off my chest and ask the question “Who the fuck is buying all these goddamn Nelly records?” Stand up. Please confess cuz I want to know who’s actually into this wack shit. That guy is fucking lame! What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Papa Roach dropped off their tour with Eminem for their singer, Moby Dick, to have back surgery. Dick was hurt recently in a family backyard wrestling match with his dad, who is actually an old Pro-Wrestler from the 80’s named “Crazy Eddy”, at a Bar-B-Q. Coby said that he’ll be back on tour in a few weeks, and that he knows his fans will understand because he knows they all love wrestling and watching tubby dudes sweat just as much as he does! How sweet!

While we on the subject of lame metal jocks… we heard that the buff blonde steak-head from Crazy Town is on some new Paul Oakenfold song called “Starry Eyed Surprise”. Sounds like a huge bowl of gay to us. Next.

We heard that The Strokes like to rub their willies together when they get drunk. The thought sickens us to horrifying levels, on par with watching children burn alive. There’s something fucking weird going on with those Strokes dudes, and we’re not talking about Fabio’s, or whatever his name is, herpes.

The B.R.M.C. own every single Jesus and Mary Chain record. Even that new one on Sub Pop.

Attention: User of Digital Music: One of our close friends, Mr. Ian Rogers (he used to work at Winamp, as well as Grand Royal, he’s basically like the eighth Beastie Boy or something, and his baby momma sends out the merch from our store), has made this new program called, Muse.Net (beta). It organizes your digital music collection and you can use it to stream files from anywhere. Basically this is a program that could change the rules. Check it out if you wanna be the coolest kid on your block or cubicle or where ever you people live. It even works for you barnyard dorks from Arkabama, we think.

Speaking of digital media and smart people, those guys over at Pitchfork are sure smart, they figured out what we should do now that audiogalaxy is gone. If they could only figure out what rock n’ roll is all about…. Click here.

The guitar player from Universal Recovered is now playing bass in The Mars Volta. He just got out of jail so don’t try fuck around with those guys. Guys who have been in jail can kick your ass. Right now The Mars Volta are in the studio recording their full length album. Can’t wait for that one. It’s gonna be a hot potato kids, we can feel it.

Some weird internet guy made Travis into a cartoon. Weird is right. Check out the Ink & Dagger shirt. Click here to check out this guys site if you like cartoons… and if that’s the case give us your weed, cause the only people who still watch cartoons smoke the most weed. Just ask my roommates.

Willie Nelson has a show this summer in that itchy butthole of a state, Texas. Willie has been so busy listening to Kid Rock albums and taking in marijuana intravenously lately that he didn’t have time to think up his own name for the show. So he decided to rip off Goldenvoice and call his show “This Ain’t no Picnic”. That’s cool cuz we’ve got this new single coming out on our label called “Mama’s Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys“ by this dude we know named Willie Nelson. From the sound of things, we gonna sell a ton of copies, ain’t we Willie?! Cool huh?

In the new Radio Times Magazine, Moby admitted to doing drugs when he was ten years old so he could “to be cool and impress his friends”, before “straightening” up and becoming the big vegan dorkus morkus that he is now. Yo, Mobster, maybe if you started doing drugs again you wouldn’t be such a fucking turd licker that makes soul-less corporate ad jingles for soccer moms and frat boys who need an affordable car to drive. God you’re a fucking dipshit.

Look who changed his tune… Blake Swartzenbach will be appearing “selling kids to other kids“ in a new series of commercials for the burger giant, Burger King on NBC starting July 29th. That should be interesting. Hey Blake, we won’t make funny of you for being an old dude who sells out when the green is in his face, if you give Aaron free Shaq Packs.

No more white guys rapping please. We’ve had enough.

What the fuck is with all these old shitty ska punk bands getting back on major labels? First it was Reel Big Fish, they tricked some dipshit over at Jive records (probably the same guy who signed Too $hort) into giving them a big wad of cash to record some more ska songs. Now those dicks in Less Than Jake are back living on Warner Bros. major label cash! What the fuck is going on here? Did we miss the “Ska is gonna come back” memo? Who the fuck are these clowns that are signing these fruitcake ska bands? There’s no way you are gonna trick a large number of people into thinking ska is cool again for at least another ten to twelve years. Even then it’s gonna be a pretty tough sell. It’s like when a country gets attacked by terrorists and shit, then the next time they’re ready for it. Ska is the official music of the Taliban.

Reel Big Fish are changing their name to Oskama Bin Ladin.

Speaking of wack ska records… Hopeless is taking a break from putting out records and they are doing another “Plea For Peace” tour with some help from another wack label, Asian Man Records, as well as Flower booking, who aren’t so wack, but they’re hanging with wackness. They actually got a few good bands to do their tour, Le Tigre, Cave In, and Trans Am are all playing. The tour starts September 13 in Worchester Mass and runs through October 28. The other bands that are playing are; Thursday, The Promise Ring, The (International) Noise Conspiracy, the Bouncing Souls, Poison The Well, Jimmy Eat World, Anti-Flag, the Lawrence Arms, Common Rider, Cursive, and ton of other shitty bands. Not all bands will appear at every date so make sure that at least one non-sucking band is playing your hometown. Hit up their website for more info. www.takeactiontour.com for details.

Fuck Incubus.

Coldplay says they are breaking up after this record. I say we get a pool of money together and try and get them to break up BEFORE this record. Think about it, if we all just pitched in five bucks….

Fuck Coldpay.

Who the fuck let Tommy Lee make a solo record? Someone is responsible. Tommy, dude bro, your album is a pile of shit bro. Get back with the Crue or get your dork ass out of town dickhead.

Someone should buy us that new Velvet Underground & Nico – Deluxe Edition 2CD set. It’s got both stereo and mono mixes, 45 versions, selected Chelsea Girl cuts, and a fluffy white digipack with a peel able banana. It’s better than your shitty Poison the Well records. You listen to shitty records, we know you do… and we’re always… ALWAYS… going to make fun of you for it.

You know that goofy dude in The Strokes with the hippie pubic hair haircut? Yeah .. the guy who plays his guitar nipple high, well he has been quoted as saying that the new songs The Strokes have written are “the future of Rock N’Roll”, and that their new songs are inspired by Yacht clubs, intense water polo matches, and inter-band orgies involving eels and cucumbers. If that’s the future of rock, we’re throwing the towel in now.

Fuck Coldpay.

Speaking of ties wearing hipster rich kids, Attention: “Guys that wear ties…. You are super lame. Any guys that’s wearing a tie over a t-shirt needs to get strangled and set on fire. This is not the VH1 fashion awards you fucking shitbag wannabe.

Fuck Incubus.

Speaking of ties… haha…..you see where we’re going with this… The Icarus Line, who are still over in Europe on tour, just did another Peel session and it will be broadcast on the John Peel show, July 24th between 10pm and 12pm. So if you happen to live over there make sure to tune in. They’ll be playing a few new songs “Getting Bright At Night”, “Miss Bliss”, “The Big Sleep” and “Kiss Like Lizards”. If anyone tapes the show, send us a copy to our po box (buddyhead PO BOX 1268 Hollywood, Ca 90078)

By the way, the Post Office, fuck that place. We figured out that our post office, the Hollywood Post Office on Wilcox, is the exact center of hell. No other place in the world can you see as many freaks, crazies, fruits, nuts, strippers, homeless people wearing thongs, Henry Rollin’s “people” getting his mail (his po box is 1910 and ours is 1268), guys in pink running shorts with matching sandals dry-heaving in the corner, middle age ladies discussing how awful it is that the stamp is 3 cents more expensive now, weird sweaty fat guys in polo shirts looking for someone to discuss just about anything with them, obsess women with seven kids running about, and fights, lots of fights… anyhow… back to shit you maybe care about…

Sleater-Kinney are making a new record. We’re gonna guess that they still gots no bass on this one.

Fuck Korn.

Dischord is putting together a three-CD compilation celebrating their 20 years of putting out records. Ian is going out on a limb and calling the compilation “20 Years of Dischord.” The first two CDs will include a song from every band on the label. A third disc will include unreleased material and some early video footage from The Untouchables, The Teen Idles, SOA, Faith, Void and Deadline. Sounds fucking awesome, we can’t wait. It’s set to be released in North America on October 7th and September 23rd in Europe. Europeans get shit first? Even the French? Who the Fuck approved that?

Fuck those two mutants that sing the Hero song on the Spiderman sound track. That shit needs to stop. We keep watching that video hoping they fall off that fucking building… then we get all disappointed when they don’t … viscous cycle we know.

Whoever it is over at Capitol Records that thinks the Vines sound like Nirvana needs to get body checked. THE VINES DON’T SOUND LIKE NIRVANA DICKHEAD SO STOP SAYING THAT SHIT IT HURTS MY FUCKING EYES EVERYTHING I BLOODY READ IT, they sound like a monkey with diarrhea.

The Dillinger Escape Plan’s new ep that’ll be out on Epitaph, but got leaked on “the net” yesterday is pretty killer. Buy it dorks.

Grade broke up. Dorks who wear visors and swear by everything put out on Fat Wreck are pretty bummed. Those dudes are Canadian, that’s always good for a laugh. If we lived in Canada, we’d never even consider being in a band. First off, what the fuck are you going to sing about? Snow? Polar Bears? Cold weather? People don’t wanna hear about that shit man. And if you do happen to live in Montreal where all the cool stuff is, then are you really going to waste your time playing shitty Victory-core? No way! No fucking way you are when you could be out getting loaded at the finest strip clubs in the world where the strippers give you coke and where you pay very low prices for a very close lesbian show that rules the school and end up trying to find some random rave where you find yourself searching for drugs, keep in mind everyone but you speaks French so you really feel like a total American Chevey Chase on Vacation dipshit and finally it gets to the point where you just start screaming out “DRUGS ..DRUGS”, cause you hope one of the Canaravers will recognize this International call for fun and hook your foreign ass up…. and then no one wants to help you because they’re not even close to being “on the team”, do you just head back to the van and get wasted? Or do you try to drive everyone to the nearest crackhouse/motel with bullet holes in the wall and hookers in the lobby who try to pull you in the rooms to rob you. We speak from experience.

So we heard the new Sonic Youth album is pretty good. We know someone reading this works for them, so why don’t you (the person who gets free Sonic Youth records) send us our copies. Thanks baby.

Rama’s in Boston for the week. He was on tour with Piebald, who are opening for the Juliana Theory every night. Rama said The Juliana Theory suck real bad but tons of really hot girls go see that band so he’s hoping to get “emo” enough with one of them so he can convince her to take it in the poopshoot… Hey he said it…. He also said that lame singer guy with the bobby brown headset now has a Ponytail! What the fuck is with ponytails? Ok, let’s get this straight… Long hair is cool… but there is no room for ponytails in rock… Ponytails are for lawyers and crossdressers.

Rama also told us that Travis from Pieblad has a mustache right now. Interesting.

Jason Farrell, you know the guy with perfect hair from Bluetip and Swiz, has an EP from his new band on the way. The band is called ‘Retisonic’ and features Joe Gorelic from that one band, Garden Variety. It’s pretty… yeah… it sounds like Bluetip…

Goldfinger is putting out another record. That’s like finding out someone you know is dying. Horrible, horrible news.

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones put out another record, read the above again, insert new this band name with that band name.

Fuck that band 3rd strike.

The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino has been receiving tons of calls from people who specifically ask about reserving the room that John Entwistle died in. So far all the requests have been turned down, but the Hard Rock says the room can’t be specifically requested, but it is being used as one of the hotel’s 657 regular rooms. We’re going to get that room one day, smoke pounds of the pot with that shitty stoner band Bongzilla, and have a fucking séance… with naked strippers and rubber chickens. It’s gonna be grand.

Not having a car in the city of Los Angeles totally fucking sucks. Tom says not having a car in New Jersey sucks too. No one sent cars yet, you’re all blowing it.

Fuck that entire jock fest know as the Warped Tour.

Matador was bought out by Beggars Banquet. The only people who care about this are a bunch of indie dorks who care waaaay too much about they’re vinyl collection and whether or not they can Photoshop a picture of PJ Harvey nude well enough so that they can trick themselves into believing that it’s real enough to spank their wiener to.

In news we actually care about, Matador just sign one of our favorite bands, Dead Meadow. They’ve already got two records out now if you’re late on figuring it out this band rocks. Buddyhead will also be releasing a split EP between Dead Meadow and Bluebird in the coming months. Save your lunch money.

If you’re one of those people who like to see good rock shows, you might want to go check out Dead Meadow when they play in Silverlake @ Spaceland on 7.11.02. Bring a joint.

Speaking of shows, Joe Cardamone’s favorite Los Angeles band, Nantucket Suicide, is playing this Saturday, June 6th @ 9:30pm. The shows gonna be @ Mr. T’s Bowl (in Highland Park off of Figueroa). It’s five dollars to get in and you must be 21 and over, otherwise it’ll probably cost you about ten bucks. Just kidding.

Another show you’re really not going to want to miss is on July 17th @ The Troubador in Hollywood…. The bands playing are: Bluebird, Your Enemies Friends, Radio Vago, and The Kills (which is the girl from Discounts new band).

Your Enemies Friends like Mother Love Bone and Starbucks so much that they’re packing their bags and moving to Seattle, Washington. We tried to talk em’ out of it but they’re set on it.

Moby will co-star with Ben Stiller in the sequel to Zoolander (they’re gonna call it Zoolander II, go figure). We heard that when he was asked about his upcoming film, Moby explained that he “was very excited to be extremely good looking”. Moby looks like a big egghead doofus. God we hate that guy.

We’re not going to put the Buddyhead messageboard back up so stop emailing us about it. Go waste your life elsewhere.

The Dura-Delinquentare are re-forming for some so Cal shows. They’re out of rehab and out of the closet to rock your skinny asses

Jason Frodus is playing in Combatwounded Veteran and touring the south with them. Ten bucks says he has swamp ass right about now. Florida is for filth and alligators. If you live there, move.

Jason’s other band… The Black Sea are recording an EP right now for Lovitt. In case you’re out of the loop, The Black Sea is Shelby and Jason from Frodus, with Brendan from Fugazi.

Fugazi cancelled UK dates do to a death in the family. But don’t worry they’ll be back over in the fall so that Ian can yell at all you Eurogeeks for moshing like a sailor yells at hookers when the ship comes to port. Oh… and if you “mosh”, then you should consider lighting yourself on fire.

Can someone make Aerosmith stop soon? No one wants to see shirtless old men in tight pants, it’s creepy. Knock it off guys!

Some kids emailed us to tell us Matt Skiba from the Alkaline Trio sang back ups on that new “New Found Glory” album. Look Matt, if this is true you are actually on that wack pop punk band’s cd doing anything… fuck it… even if you just showed up at the studio to mooch beer and weed, you’re off the team pal. We’re starting the investigation now…

Chris Rock had a kid. That kids probably not going to be funny, and he’ll probably get into trouble like Dana Plato and Todd Bridges. Todd Bridges whooped ass on Celebrity Boxing.

Tool is taking out Tomahawk on their US Summer 2002 tour. In case you’re a bit out of the loop (which we know most of you are), Tomahawk is Duane Denison (Jesus Lizard) on guitar, singer Mike Patton (Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, and Dillinger Escape Plan’s new EP as well), Kevin Rutmanis (Melvins) on bass, and John Stanier (Helmet) on drums. Someone get us into the LA show. Pretty please.
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29 JULY LOUISIANA Bossier City Century Tel Arena ON SALE NOW
30 JULY ARKANSAS Little Rock Alltel Arena ON SALE NOW
31 JULY LOUISIANA New Orleans UNO Arena ON SALE NOW
01 AUG FLORIDA Pensacola Civic Center ON SALE 6 JUL
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09 AUG VIRGINIA Richmond Richmond Coliseum ON SALE NOW
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07 SEP ILLINOIS Moline Mark of the Quad ON SALE NOW