Hi. I’m Sexual Ryan. Here’s the deal, I was a pussy when I was 19, but now that I’m 30 I fucking rule. Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re probably a pussy too. I can help. I used to write the sex advice column for Buddyhead back when crabcore was something you got from girls in the Valley, but I had to stop because writing a sex advice column gets you laid like you wouldn’t believe and there just wasn’t enough time in the day to do both. Naturally, I ditched the column in favor of the tail. Now that I’m older and wiser, I can handle both. So I’m back for more motherfuckers, this time with a better hairstyle and way better advice. Send me questions and I’ll give you the answers your weirdo health teacher with the thick mustache never would. I didn’t read this shit from some book, son, I got it from fucking. A lot of fucking. So you know you can trust me. I’m like Dr. Drew, but without the arrogance, insatiable need to be a celebrity and fake tan.

Send me your questions, problems and cries for help: ryan@buddyhead.com

Popularity: 1%