Further separating themselves from anything to do with music, Rolling Stone announced that they’ll be opening a themed restaurant and nightclub next summer at Hollywood and Highland (aka the corner of Douche).

They’re trying to keep things classy. Says Niall Donnelly, a partner at Rolling Stone: “The food will be higher-end than Hard Rock, ” which, in keeping with LA standards, definitely means “more expensive,” but not necessarily “of better quality.”

Donnelly goes on: “The [nightclub] venue itself will be for higher-end audiences.” They’re going for a timeless look of “black brick, tufted leather, and an antique iron staircase.”

Translation: Poor people aren’t allowed inside. In fact, as a presumable point of appeal, Donnelly says that the nightclub “will be harder to get into.” And for any of you readers who are into throwing away your money on bottle service, there’s that, too.

Paging Jann Wenner! Are you fucking serious, guy? How about you work on making your magazine less shitty first. From there, you can work on making it RELEVANT.

If the food is anything like Rolling Stone these days (which peaked about three decades ago), it’ll be bland, boring, and a huge fucking bummer.

That said, I can’t wait to try the Hunter S. Thompson Bloody Margarita, which will probably come with a handgun and a side dish of uncut Bolivian.

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