If we here at Buddyhead weren’t already struggling in the cash department, the first thing we’d be blowing loot-cakes on is ponying-up to buy R Kelly a fucking trophy cuz homeboy just fucking won, again! Except this time instead of putting out an 80 minute long hip-hopera called “Trapped In The Closet”, R Kelly has taken all of it’s lunacy and somehow compacted it into a 4 minute genetically engineered super pop song called “Girl, I Wanna Get You Pregnant”. I fuckin’ swear, that’s really the title. File this hot mess under the “So-bad-it’s-good” category for sure.

I know Thanksgiving is over and all, but I just can’t help but be thankful that R Kelly is still out there in the world just being R Kelly. I am completely enthralled by the sheer lunacy that is R Kelly. I’m pretty sure he’s not aware of it, but R Kelly has tapped into the collective unconsciousness and is on some serious Abraham-Hicks/”Power Of Now” shit! Just check out this short youtube clip where he talks about how he writes songs and says that life is a song, he’s realized that, he’s got a leash on it and he knows how to walk it!

And he’s not lying, “Girl, I Wanna Get You Pregnant” is the proof in the pudding! The first time I listened to this song, I was shellshocked. Totally blown away by how stupefying the whole concept was… “These dudes actually booked studio time to record a song with a verse that goes “Never felt nothing like this, Shes more than a mistress enough to handle my business, Now put that girl in my kitchen”? Wooooooow!?!? In a real studio? Noooo fuckkking wayyyy… ” And that sinking feeling only heightened as the chorus kicked in… ” “Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant, Lay your body down and get you pregnant, Knock you up, pregnant”? For real? That’s the chorus? Whaaaaaaaat? Get real!” Only two seconds later, I didn’t know what to think anymore. And before that first chorus was even over something clicked for me, an explosion took place in my head, a flood of serotonin hit my brain and to be honest… it all made sense. Yes this song is as retarded as the Special Olympics, but it’s not on purpose. And that my friends, means it’s REAL. And R Kelly is about as real as it gets in the world of hip-hop and r&b.

Only R Kelly could spit out a song which says one of the worst things that you could ever tell a woman. Yet somehow he makes it sound so… so… catchy. The first time I played this song for my girlfriend she gave me a look like I’d just told her I wanted to tattoo “I AM STUPID” on my face. And now 24 hours later she’s been singing it all day. Words just can’t do this song justice, unless you’re talking about the lyrics for it that I’ve posted below. I love this song, it’s hilarious, unreal, entertaining, humiliating, uplifting, exciting, embarrassing and a true work of genius.

Don’t believe me? Download this bad boy for yourself and enjoy the crazy.

(Download – “Girl, I Wanna Get You Pregnant”)

Lyrics:

Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Lay your body down and get you pregnant,
Knock you up, pregnant, Knock you up

Can you believe I’m in the club with a girl who has a man,
And take her to the hotel for just a one night stand,
See I’m a playa so I ain’t tryna take her on no dates,
To much like my patrone man I’m just tryna take it straight,
Untill I met this girl in the club with an unbelievable booty,
Sweetest girl in the world and I mean it and on top of that shes a cutie,
I ain’t seen nothing like her around here in a while,
And if I had a girl she’d be the one to bear my child,
Telling myself I’m a playa so I keep tryna shake it off,
But I keep on seeing this big old house with a picket fence and a dog,
Never felt nothing like this,
Shes more than a mistress enough to handle my business,
Now put that girl in my kitchen,

Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
That’s what I told her,
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Lay your body down and get you pregnant,
Like you are,
Knock you up, pregnant,

All the pretty ladies please line up right next to me,
How would you like to go on a little trip with your boy Tyrese,
Raise your hand if you want me to fulfill your fantasy,
I can hide your co-star and get in one of my new wiis,
Tell me what your name is,
I can make you famous,
We can pop champagne and get right down to sexing,
Now I ain’t got nothing to do tonight I gotta wait for my crew,
I just wanna put some in you,
And I can tell that you want it too,
And I’m ready babe,
And your ready babe,
So let’s go get out of this club,
Kel’s and Rys after party,
You can Fuck with us,

Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Lay your body down and get you pregnant,
Knock you up, pregnant.

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