Pixies Want Quentin Tarantino

July 1, 2009 • By Justin Park

pixiespic

The past few years have produced a shitstorm of reunions that’s ultimately been a colossal disappointment, ranging from embarrassing records (Chinese Democracy, Zeitgeist) to blatant cash-grabs for the sole purpose of funding vocalists’ side projects (Faith No More, Rage Against The Machine) to failing to take advantage of the renewed interest (Slint) to “Mileycyrussaywhat?” (Limp Bizkit).

Black Francis/Frank Black/Butterbean pushes the Pixies further into the landfill as he envisions an album/soundtrack à la Air’s work for The Virgin Suicides.

Courtesy of NME.com:
“The band needs to work with a film director. Quentin Tarantino or someone like that. It’d be like, ‘Make some music for our film, you guys [Pixies] be the sound of the film.’ Spread the word about the idea ‘cos I think it’s gonna work.”

tarantinonoSorry Butterbean, but it looks like you didn’t get the memo: NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE PIXIES ANYMORE. If you couldn’t make a massive impression back then (post-career bandwagon doesn’t count), you sure as hell aren’t going to make people care now, especially considering 75% of the band is bald and your drummer performs magic tricks for pizza money. There’s a better chance of Nine Inch Nails fans having their creamiest dreams realized with David Lynch helming the Year Zero television series rather than “Best Before 1994” Tarantino giving two shits about what the Pixies want. If you‘re that desperate to see this project come to life, Fred Durst is always looking to expand his cinematic palette. Just be aware he’s prone to casting Method Man and Pauly Shore for no other reason than to amuse his stupid self. Other than giving Wes blumpkins in exchange for new guitar tracks, he should have more-than-enough free time on his hands.

The world’s not exactly clamoring for a Pixies resurgence, particularly after the slap in the testicles known as “Bam Thwok.” The title alone should’ve earned them a stint at the county jail, not to mention that they somehow managed to sprinkle Fozzie Bear‘s “wocka wocka” throughout the chorus. Although, for a song written for Shrek 2 (and shunned in favor of the fucking Counting Crows), it’s as good as a DreamWorks-sanctioned tune gets.

Should a record come to fruition, I’d prefer one that didn’t sound remotely anything like the piles of ass Bossanova and Trompe le Monde turned out to be. Actually, I’d prefer that they fuck off completely, but that‘s just wishful thinking. No hard feelings, Pixies. I just don’t have faith in a band that once approved “Here Comes Your Man” for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.

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12 Responses to “ Pixies Want Quentin Tarantino ”


  • Chaz -- Jul 1st, 2009 at 7:25 am

    I don’t think it’s a bad idea at all. Would probably kill half the shit festering in the theaters these days.

    Mind you even Mogwai couldn’t make that Collin Pussyhole Miami Vice movie erect.

    Back to my point they may be old but they aren’t out.. what’s with shitting on decent band’s around here like you guys are throwing out some science?

    I don’t believe people should be worshiped for what they have done in the past much less worshiped at all but they haven’t put out any stinkers either. From what I saw of the last tour it was pretty damn good!

    Just like my opinion dude.

  • ponytail douglas winthrop -- Jul 1st, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    best before 94 huh? jackie brown came out in 97 and was an awesome movie.

  • Nigel Davenport -- Jul 1st, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    One of the most overrated bands in existence

  • Bobabooey -- Jul 1st, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    lick a cock, Justin.

  • Patrick -- Jul 1st, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    I second the “Jackie Brown” nomination, Chris Tucker and all… and hey, at least he was dispatched quickly and righteously.

  • Johnny LA -- Jul 2nd, 2009 at 1:47 am

    jackasssaywhat?

    Out of all the reunion tours over the last few years, Pixies were one of the few that were actually good. They didn’t come out and play a bunch of crappy new songs, or try to stuff a new album down everyone’s throat. They played what the fans wanted to hear at a shitload of sold-out shows, all across the world. They were fat, bald and ugly back in the day, and they’re fat, bald and ugly now! What’s the big deal?

    At least they’re trying to do things in a new and different way!

    Charles Thompson has more talent in his chubby little toe, than you have in your whole family!

    P.S. Quit trying to write shit in the style of Aaron and Travis, you poser! Why don’t you try to develop your own style instead of just biting off your friend’s!

    BOO-YA!

  • JP -- Jul 2nd, 2009 at 3:00 am

    Dear Johnny LA,

    You cite stagnance and milking the safe nostalgia card dry ($$$) as reasons for their apparent success on the reunion circuit, and a sentence later, “at least they’re trying to do things in a new and different way! :’(” You’re a fine example of a blind bandwagon child who’d go tits-up for a record consisting entirely of television static noise as long as it carried the Pixies moniker. You’re absolutely right on one thing, though. Gotta give props for trying something “in a new and different way” because bands have never composed for a film before. If you’re talking strictly Pixies and not bands in general, there are other ways to make money that don’t include putting Kim Deal in a room full of people she hates.

    I’m sure this project will eventually surface and who knows, the local drive-in may screen it for you someday. Until then, you’re better off smoking marijuana, listening to the Pixies, and staring at your awesome Surfer Rosa poster all day long ‘cuz it’s got boobs on it.

    The “talent” in his chubby little toe you speak of? Gout.

  • Joe -- Jul 2nd, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    “NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE PIXIES ANYMORE” Really? Fuck off! Who the fuck are you? Nobody cared about you before, and we still don’t! The Pixies were amazing, and influenced the best bands of the last 20 years. I would bet that there are a lot of people who care about the Pixies.

    Oh yeah, they aren’t cool because they’re old and bald. Real artists are usually ugly, maybe people in SoCal don’t respect that. I could make a list of ugly and old artists that still kick ass.

    Buddyhead is all about shock value now, thats why you and that asshole Chip Norman are writing for them. Its like you guys had a big meeting and said: Hey lets all just say outrageous things about bands that cool people like, so we’ll be like anti-cool, therefore making us cool. Also all the shocking things we say will bring more traffic to our site, like, “Fuck Michael Jackson” and such. Can’t you guys just stick to making fun of bands that actually suck, like that Pharacyde or whatever, instead of the Pixies, one of the best, if not the best band of the last 30 years?

  • JP -- Jul 2nd, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    Dear Joe Rath,

    Ugly and old artists that still kick ass are ever-present. Ugly and old artists that still kick ass, the Pixies are not anymore. Maybe they can do you a favor by popping out another single and calling it quits again because they clearly haven’t flip-flopped enough during the past five years regarding whether they should bid adieu with some kind of grace or not after a handful of routine festival appearances and getting dumped by a green ogre movie. They’ll likely follow up with more forgettable solo material, solidifying the legend of the Pixies throughout untouchable and sensitive “hands off my band!” indie-rock circles all over Michigan. I’m sure they’re a joy for all the garage bands out there who aspire to contribute more unnecessarily repetitive soft-then-loud/crash-bang-boom formulaic dynamics in music because apparently, it hasn’t been reproduced often, annoyingly, and poorly enough.

    If your feelings are hurt, perhaps you should massage your interests by seeking solace in other music websites that wet themselves over everything that prematurely ended in the ’90s. And of all the bands to mention, way to bring up the Pharcyde. “Or whatever.” Racist.

  • James -- Jul 3rd, 2009 at 6:56 am

    Dude you’re the new Chip !

  • Joe -- Jul 3rd, 2009 at 2:39 pm

    First of all, the fact that you know my last name and that I live in Michigan is kind of creepy. I guess my message was over the top, and I apologize for that, but I really love Doolittle and personally thought they deserved a little more respect. Not sure why you called me a racist, I thought pharcyde was that band that did the auto-tune emo screams over hip hop beats. Either way I still love the Pixies.

  • Mike -- Jul 7th, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    Ripping on the Pixies? Seriously? As far as the reunion thing is concerned, the Pixies have earned their time in the sun. That “Bum Thwak” song or whatever it was called was incredibly uninspired, you got that right, and sure, Frank Black looks like the dude from Staind’s creepy uncle, but they’re still the Pixies, and at least they’re not turning out abominations ala Iggy to milk that cash cow. Wow, that was a run-on.

    I’ve got to agree though, this is a really lame idea. But so is playing cheese-metal with a dude with a KFC bucket on his head. At least they’re not actively destroying their legacy by trying to pump out new merchandice. I can name about 15 bands that reunited / are reuniting / should’ve broken up long ago that have almost destroyed their own legacy.

    Let porky get more donut money!!!

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