Moby
Wait For Me
Little Idiot/Mute

If that Microsoft Paint artwork is any indication, the funds garnered from licensing Play to every commercial on the planet finally ran out. Unfortunately, it’s not the only thing reduced to a minimalist aesthetic as the music arrives with an equally pathetic whimper.

Although the album was intended as a calming effort from Mr. Richard Hall, it’s simply a bore. Everything plods on with pure apathy, save for “Shot In The Back Of The Head” with its reverse loop melody keeping things moving on a record otherwise handicapped by the absence of groove. This might’ve been considered an achievement if he hadn’t already done it a decade ago with “Porcelain.” The accompanying music video, directed by David Lynch, is worth a look [SPOILER ALERT Someone gets shot in the back of the head], although I can’t imagine why he’d mull around with this and not bother following up on Inland Empire. And speaking of Lynch, could there possibly be a television character more awesome than Dale Cooper? But I digress…

Wait For Me is a far cry from Play which, although not the masterpiece some will have you believe, is a fair record for starters and should simultaneously end their interest as well, as his other work induces nothing but unadulterated agony. The album tries too hard to sell its less-is-more approach and ultimately ends up stripping Moby of his identity, which would’ve been a positive move if only he had better ideas to fall back on. Although songs like “Study War” continue to incorporate gospel samples, the results are disastrous this time around, lacking the flair that made “Natural Blues” so unusually entrancing.

The album is far too lucid and not in the mildly interesting manner of “First Cool Hive” and “Inside.” For one, “Jltf,” a dreary tune that wouldn’t be out of place during a slow dance at a high school prom, sounds like he discovered Sigur Rós just yesterday and decided to pay homage in the worst way imaginable. There’s even a track (“Stock Radio”) consisting entirely of static noise, leading me to believe this is either a joke or a concept record, the concept being ‘How to be even more of a pretentious asshat by passing this off as art/music.’

Considering the fact that Moby’s career highlights include being licked by Gwen Stefani and Eminem branding him a “bald-headed fag,” there’s really no incentive to pick up his records unless it’s intentionally ridiculous (I.E. songs about veggie burgers and shitty tea recipes) or contains that Eminem diss track we’ve all been waiting for, and by “we’ve all been waiting for,” I mean “no one wants to hear.” If you’re looking for background music while you’re euthanizing someone, Wait For Me works wonders. For the rest of you, there are better ways to spend your money. Treat yourself to some Egg McMuffins instead.

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