Marilyn Manson – “The High End of Low”
Marilyn Manson
The High End of Low
Who Gives A Shit Records
Hi, I’m Meathead, the designated Marilyn Manson album reviewer for Buddyhead. In case you’re wondering how much I’m getting paid for this, the answer is “not enough.” Of course, I’m a bit biased when it comes to Marilyn Manson because, well, he sucks. But if you actually come to Buddyhead to read fair and balanced reviews, you’re pretty stupid (no offense). Besides, by this point, all the people who still give a shit have already bought a copy, and everyone who wanted their money back has probably already taken their receipts to Hot Topic, so it’s not like anything I say here is going to negatively affect Brian’s record sales.
Marilyn Manson has maintained a pretty solid track record of putting out terrible music for the past 13 years (or 20 years, depending on who you ask), and this new album, unsurprisingly, doesn’t change anything. However, from a purely musical standpoint, it’s a step up from their past several offerings, especially the mind-bogglingly bad Eat Me, Drink Me. Mind you, it’s a very small step, in the same sense as getting promoted from shoveling elephant shit to supervising the guy who shovels elephant shit. Either way, you still have to spend all day around shit. And there’s plenty of that to be had on The High End of Low. But the real tragedy is that there are occasionally some fleeting moments when you could almost enjoy the music if it weren’t for Manson going “aaaeeeueuueuaaaaaaaaa” all over it. I guess it could be just a coincidence that it also happens to be the first Manson release since the return of Jeordie “I Wrote All of Marilyn Manson’s Decent Songs, except ‘My Monkey,’ Which Was Actually Written By Charles Manson” Ramirez. Honestly, if The High End of Low were something more along the lines of an instrumental EP, and the title and cover art weren’t so fucking retarded, it might not be half bad. Why do people keep letting Brian sing? Why doesn’t anyone stage some kind of intervention? I mean, even he has to be at least dimly aware that his voice sounds like shit, since he tries so hard to distract everybody from it by piling on the same shitty reverb on every goddamned song. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this would have been Sergeant Pepper had there only been a competent singer. But would it kill Brian to go more than five seconds without opening his fucking mouth? Hey Brian, if you’re reading this (and I’m pretty sure you are): You cannot sing. At all. And not in that endearing Bob Dylan kind of way either. Please stop. Maybe you can learn to play the drums or something instead. Drummers are cool, right?
Unfortunately, any moments of musical non-shittiness are offset by “songs” like “WOW,” which have absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. “WOW” is like a black hole of terrible in the center of the album, absorbing any of the aforementioned sort-of-okay music and radiating waves of “what the fuck” throughout the surrounding tracks. I’m guessing the original title was “WOW, Could It Possibly Be Any More Obvious That I’m Not Even Trying Anymore?” before he decided that four ridiculously long song titles was plenty. If you want to teach your kids to stay away from drugs, just make them listen to “WOW.” Trust me, it’ll be much more effective than any stupid PSA or after-school special.
If you put a gun to my head and made me recommend one song on The High End of Low, I’d probably have to go with “We’re From America.” Like every other Marilyn Manson song in recent memory, it has absolutely nothing substantial or interesting to say, and is basically just a hodgepodge of various selections from Brian’s bag of “shocking” words (America, God, Jesus, fuck, etc). Yeah, Americans are warmongering Bible thumpers. This might have been just a tad more thought-provoking if everybody else in the fucking world hadn’t made the same observation years ago. Way to stay ahead of the curve, Brian! But at least this song, for all its faults, is relatively catchy, especially if you close your eyes and pretend it’s 2003 and Bush is still President.
The High End of Low been hyped as being an “autobiographical” album, but coming from someone who supposedly leads such a unique and esoteric life, this shit is pretty boring. Seriously, not even one mention of that dead Chinese girl you keep in your closet? Even the last track, “15,” which Brian claims is “the most unusual song I have ever heard,” is not all that unusual. Maybe it sounds “unusual” when you’re stoned out of your gourd on quaaludes and amyl nitrate, but then again, you could probably say the same about “Lemon Tree” by Peter, Paul and Mary, or the sound of a dishwasher on the rinse cycle. If you want to hear “unusual” music, skip this tripe and put on some Renaldo and the Loaf.
Bringing to mind the old adage about polishing a turd, there is also a wholly unnecessary “Deluxe Edition” available, containing a bonus disc with a remix and some alternate versions of songs from the album. Seeing how bad the versions were that actually made the cut, let’s just say I’m not exactly scrambling to get my hands on “I Have to Look Up Just to See Hell (Alternate Version).”
Support the arts. Don’t spend your money on this.
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Pretty funny review.