HOLY SHIT CHINESE DEMOCRACY IS FINALLY COMING OUT TODAY!

November 23, 2008 • By Travis Keller

2ad1f463-c12e-44d0-8d08-1e6f7e50153b.jpg

God damn I can’t believe this pile of shit Axl is trying to pass off as a Guns N’ Roses record is finally coming out via Best Fuckin’ Buy! I never thought I’d see the day where Izzy, Duff, Slash weren’t on a “new GNR” record. What a bummer. More importantly I can’t believe that’s the cover! I mean, it’s a fucking bicycle!?! What the fuck does it mean AXL??? Sure dude, now you think it’s ok to rock a full sweat suit in public, but you know  that I know there’s no way in hell Axl Rose has ridden a bike in the last 30 years.

But I give that man a hall pass. Let me explain before you start talking shit…. Sure he’s lame now and out of touch, but I would guess it’s hard being Axl Rose man. I mean, I’m sure it’s hard being totally nutso. Plus homeboy was so fucking cool from 1986-1992 that he can do whatever he wants. I don’t care if he dresses like Ali G, has his hair braided, let “bucket chucks” happen, has a guy named Bumblefoot in the band, wears sports jerseys and is basically one of the most insane people alive…. because I can still vividly remember the first time I saw the video for “Welcome To The Jungle“. I was never the same again after that viewing of that rock video, I can still remember being blown away just standing like a zombie in my tighty whiteys in my parents kitchen back in 1988. I’d never seen anything before that was as cool, crazy or as intriguing as that video was. I was scared of every member of the band, but in a good way and their first record changed my life forever. Anyways, check out what I just got emailed…. the wording is mind blowing!

On Sat, Nov 22, 2008 at 10:29 PM

 

Guns N’ Roses <webmaster@mail2fans.myreg.net> wrote:

 

Real rock music is back! The most highly anticipated album of all time, Guns N’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy, is finally here. For those who’ve been waiting all these long years, this album certainly doesn’t disappoint. It’s packed with critically acclaimed songs including the featured title track “Chinese Democracy” and hits “Better” and “Shackler’s Revenge.”

 

Visit http://www.bestbuy.com/gnr or http://www.bestbuy.com/gunsnroses to get your copy now!

 

“Axl Rose can finally take a bow” – New York Times

 

“A great, audacious, unhinged and uncompromising hard-rock record.” – Rolling Stone

 

Be a part of history and get Chinese Democracy today.

 

01. Chinese Democracy
02. Shackler’s Revenge
03. Better
04. Street Of Dreams (Fans know of this being ‘The Blues’)
05. If The World
06. There Was A Time
07. Catcher N’ The Rye
08. Scraped
09. Riad N’ The Bedouins
10. Sorry
11. I.R.S.
12. Madagascar
13. This I Love
14. Prostitute

Wow, this thing looks and sounds so bad that I’m going to Best Buy tomorrow to purchase this baby. If that’s the cover, I gotta see what the artwork inside is like! And the credits! I think Aaron and I are rolling to Best Buy together around 4pm. If they got the LP version I’m buying that, haha! My review will be up here very soon after, I mean it is the most anticipated record of all time. That’s kind of a big deal kids! Let’s all go buy this and send this piece of shit to NUMBER ONE ON THE CHARTS!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wASHcOKVLg]

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M24W57WUsiw]

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLdunRYsVHQ]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnH891mklFM]

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7p1n_cOmXc]

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eeZ6AvekxU]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8k0LKWi04g]

Popularity: unranked

SPREAD THE LOVE:
  • Facebook
  • MySpace
  • Twitter
  • del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • RSS

25 Responses to “ HOLY SHIT CHINESE DEMOCRACY IS FINALLY COMING OUT TODAY! ”


  • Alexandra -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 6:25 am

    Heard it today.
    Pretty shit.

  • MissWhiteMoth -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 7:32 am

    well it’s all so clear now, that AxlRose paid you loads of money for all that propaganda!
    :-P
    bye Buddyfolks..

  • Antigone -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 8:21 am

    This may go down in history as the best worst rock album ever made.

  • mark -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 10:16 am

    Hall pass? Maybe for consistently being cockrock douchebags. If I’m not giving them a hall pass in 1988 for having a guy in the band that used to be in The Fartz & The Fastbacks, I’m certainly not giving this fuckbag a hall pass now.

    Guns & Roses sucked in 1988 and the suck even worse today. Sleep will not be lost.

  • fandy -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 10:53 am

    wheres my dr pepper

  • princessomega -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    I can still remember that video too. I still have a fondness for that and “Paradise City” I lost my virginity to GNR so I know what you mean about memories. I’ll hold on to those and skip this crap!

  • shelbot -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    I said this recently in an interview:

    “People should aspire to make records that really are terrible in a “shark sandwich” kind of way or totally amazing; no middle of the road. More Syd Barret and less perfectly-tousled Rhett Miller.”

    So lets be honest.. at least this dares to be terrible..much more to say to that than the countless middle of the road neo-adult contemporary crap that pitchfork tends to tout.

    I think he’ listened too much to producers.. sounds like a protooled piece of poop… some moments could have been good if approached like an analog record.. big drums, etc… but ahh well.. he’s a crazy man.. with crazy people around him! But hey, he made a SHARK SANDWICH.. legendary!! Just wish it was 80 songs long or something, that would have been amazing and would have accounted for all the lost years.

  • db -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    i think this will sound the death knell for the ‘big rock album’. what record company will ever again spend $13 million for some bloated rockstar carcass to make a record like ‘chinese democracy’? at this point, even if gnr reformed with all of the original members, they wouldn’t be that interesting. well, maybe they would be, because who can turn away from looking at a car wreck?

  • Towelie -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    I’ll pass. This is my worst nightmare. We are in a depression so leave it up to Axl to sprinkle a extra load on everyone’s face.

    Speaking of losing “my virginity to GNR,” I remember having sex with one of the few girls in my life that I fell in love with. Mind you, this was like 1988? Her 13 year old sister was playing Appetite for Destruction in the next room. I later got broken up with and it was the worst day of my life.

    It will always be music for 13 year olds to me. And, associated with pain. And, this was back when the Pixies were rocking it (and still kinda skinny too) and 13 year olds were not playing the Pixies or a plethora of genius bands out there at the time.

    I don’t get “it” or anyone who sings along or taps a foot to GNR. I don’t care who is in or out of the band.

    Wait, except one. Tommy Stinson. Ca$h better be the reason he was ever associated with this shit because… tranny phase or whatever, I love the dude.

    Anyway, sorry, I get pissed when it comes to this subject.

  • FARTICHOKE -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    ABSOLUTE SHIT

  • Crazy Jen -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    haha when I first laid eyes on GNR all I could think was when is this motley crue / hollywood rocker shit gonna blow away in the wind??
    luckily janes addiction answered that call.
    but because GNR was literally crammed down my throat by MTV I actually have fond memories of there tunes although I was never white trash enough to own any of there records.

  • neil patrick harris -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    look.
    it’s so easy is my favourite song from appetite for destruction which was cockrock at its finest.
    i do not think though that axl rose with no ‘real’ original members of the band can really release anything of his own shit-riddled hands under the name guns and roses because really – IT ISN’T GUNS AND ROSES! IT’S AXL FUCKING ROSE! so i leave ALL the guns and roses credibility behind and say this is the shittest album i’ve listened to for a long time. not the shittest song – others have that award.
    axl was relevant back in the late 80’s to early 90’s – not now!
    WTF with these REVIEWS?! NYT must have been doing speed!! while rollingstone is constantly giving free rimjobs! fuckers can burn trying to sell that shit off as music.

  • Sven -- Nov 23rd, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    Waited 13-14 years for maybe 5 average Tracks. The rest are shit and just axl whining, there’s no catchy riffs no mind blowing solo’s no real rock drums. Most of the songs sound extremely outdated. The two stand out songs are “Better” and “Chinese Democracy” These two songs were done years ago and have been on the internet since early 2000. Pretty sad album really. He should of done what Metallica did, go back to their roots and produce a fine piece of art but he’d probably need some real musicians to do that with tho. He had to much free reign!!
    AXL ROSE GO HOME SIT DOWN AND LISTEN TO APPETITE

  • Namiya, the fuckwad -- Nov 24th, 2008 at 12:01 am

    Wow… I mean, just. Wow. Is it really being that long?

    I mean, I remember being a 7-8 year old while listening to “You Could be Mine”; I thought it was cool as popcorn. I also liked “Paradise City”(and, most of Appetite) but, this?

    From a Musician’s (Violinist, Guitarist) point of view, I can certainly see what Chuck and Stephen Thomas Erlewine mean when they talk about the “shredding” or the “complicated guitar” parts. But, in all honesty, it feels sloppy. And it’s the kind of sloppy that’s feels too close to shitty home.

    If Izzy and Slash(and Duff, to a degree) were good at something, was toning Axl’s aspergian-esque idiocy down. All the ugly incapability that crippled the Use Your Illusions CD’s was Axl’s lack of measure/restrain.

    But this, this is a huge lack of self-editing. A completely idiotic way to attempt to one-up whoever he’s trying to outshine. This is when a dude with a complete lack of knack for songwriting tries to overcompensate.

    In layman’s: This is what happens when you don’t know how to tone it the fuck down. You know what, now I’m kinda pissed.

    I hope for one thing though. That Chuck Klosterman is right about Axl’s worries for the critics/fans’ reaction. Maybe in some weird day, he’ll read this. So he can get the message for the next lifetime:

    AXL, please: no more cumming in the world’s face, ‘kay? Tone it down. SERIOUSLY, you fucked it up big time, dude.

  • Kas -- Nov 24th, 2008 at 9:32 am

    hahaha i was at best buy last nightand i saw the little lame display poster board cut out thing they had announcing the album.

    i think putting up a cut out of axl rose in a thong would have been more effective for selling this album. i mean come on lets face it… those corn rolls. ohhh and that sexy bret micheal’s bandana and his amazingly bloated stomach. how could that NOT sell millions of records? he is irresistible! what a sex symbol! XD!

    oh yeah on 80’s metal…. apparently nikki sixx has this new band out called sixx a.m. i had no clue… this is really getting pathetic!

  • Bob -- Nov 24th, 2008 at 11:14 am

    I liked it.

  • Axl Rose -- Nov 24th, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    I’m suing all of you

  • jeff lynne(WiLbury version) -- Nov 24th, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    GnR-ChineseDemocracy=The Clash-Cut the Crap

  • me -- Nov 24th, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    I like the album cover.

  • Travis Keller Wannabe -- Nov 24th, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    This will be playing while I felch aaron tonight.

  • me -- Nov 24th, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    CD is up on their myspace page. Man, oh, man…it’s, like, thee worst thing I’ve ever heard ever. I can’t turn it off. I need to listen at least up to the track that Sebatian Bach refered to as the ‘doom metal’ track. Of course, it’s banned in China. Great headline. I still like the album cover. It’s perfect! Like, a crappy bike that I wouldn’t ever think of stealing even if I had to get from Echo Park to Weho by foot. I can’t even bring myself to download/steal this stupid thing.

  • Ac -- Nov 25th, 2008 at 8:55 am

    An article in a chinese government newspaper is stating that GNR’s new album is a vicious attack on China.

  • fie -- Nov 25th, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    i just listened to (some of) it on myspace. it was not as bad as i thought it would be. having said that, it still kind of sucks. and having said THAT, there was no way it wasn’t going to suck since this isn’t a gnr record anyway.

  • redrabbit -- Nov 29th, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    The most expensive piece of musical poopoo since Michael Jackson’s “Invincible.” Pass.

  • jacqui -- Dec 16th, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    i saw a truck covered in the album design today.. what the fuck?! is he starting a logistics company?!

    • « »