DEATH OF A CLOWN

When the news of Michael Jackson’s death hit, I was stunned to learn that he had, indeed, still been living. With no new accusations, allegations or trials of late, I just assumed he’d died awhile ago.

But, no. Until he officially died, he was apparently considered alive. Yeah, I’m being facetious here; as, of course, I’d heard of the 50 show tour planned for England wherein he’d milk the Euros and other gullibles with frequent flier miles to burn for one last money-printing hayride before finally fading into the background , he and Gary Glitter riding a two-headed eunuch llama toward a blazing red sunset, finally out of our lives forever.

Instead, he went knees up on the eve of his triumphant return; and now we’re hearing reports that the DEA wants in on the investigation, that his body was riddled with injection site marks, big pharmaceutical drug addict, as much as $48k/month for ’scrip drugs, blah di dah di dah….

All very sad, very unfortunate; and the outpouring of grief has reflected all of this. From celebrities to so-called everyday people (hello, Sly Stone, you fucked up shit…), the masses have been tripping over themselves to make Michael Jackson out to be some sort of Christ-like victim of…what?

A love of kid-fucking? His own drug/booze excesses? The paparazzi?

Celebrities trill his praises when ambushed by third-rate ‘entertainment’ shows, saying how Michael was the greatest ever, how he influenced this and that, how great THRILLER was, etc…

The masses have gathered in the streets of Hollywood, Tokyo, London, New York, etc., and ALL have only good things to say, even if in the most language-mangling ways:

“Michael is now an angel! I love him! He didn’t do that stuff because I grew up listening to him; and in 6th grade, I wore a Thriller jacket and glove to school on Halloween, so no, OH NO!, he didn’t do none of that stuff because he loved kids and tried to help the world…….”

Yes, staryy-eyed apologists out there, he didn’t do that shit because you grew up listening to and emulating him. What perfect logic! Or at least it would be if it weren’t for a certain payout, reported numerous times by credible sources as being in the $20 million range- yet, in the wake of his demise, we aren’t hearing nearly enough about that, are we?

Sorry, folks; but no one scratches a $20 mil hush check if they’re innocent.

Read that last line again.

$20M.

More than most of us here, as a collective, will make in our lifetimes; paid to make a mistake just, poof!, go away. But, since he American legal system is set up to favor those who can meet the bottom line the accusers set, it’s essentially a “no harm, no foul” thing.

Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen; as, again, no one pays that kind of hush money if innocent, do they?

It just means that certain strains of parents are willing to sell their souls and the ‘taints of their young boys, to the highest bidder.

Not to make light of this; but, James Brown caught all sorts of legal shit for, if memory serves, beating one of his ladies with a pipe– and he couldn’t wriggle out of it.

And, while beating the chicks is in no way cool, it can be argued that, in a domestic situation, maybe they (the victims) might’ve seen it coming and could’ve done something to prevent it, be it leaving, a restraining order, or whatever.

The same CANNOT be said of starry-eyed children who got a once-in-a-lifetime chance to meet their culturally fading hero. They don’t know his star was on the wane, or that his solo music was pretty much dated the moment it was released– and, being kids, they didn’t care.

Because, in addition to being innocent, most kids are fucking stupid. It’s their job, isn’t it?

Yes, and the recently minted Saint Michael not only knew that; but exploited it.

He asked us all to try and understand him because he had a rough childhood, with emotional and physical abuse at the hands of his father, Joseph– who is possibly one of the most creepy and scary fathers I’ve ever seen, so I can dig Michael being a bit bent out of shape from growing up under the authority of such a hideous dictator.

My Dad was an asshole, too.

I only had him in my life on a daily basis until just after my 8th birthday; and (REALLY, REALLY short version here…) this man I looked at as a hero llooked at me like I was the enemy. For whatever reason, I just tripped his alcohol-sotted mind; and whenever he needed to let out his rage, he went looking for me. Verbal abuse aplenty would’ve been enough (for me, anyway); but, he always followed up, at least once/twice a week with beatings that included closed fists, kickings with wing-tipped shoes and, one time in particular, a whipping with a belt buckle so severe (he’d caught me playing with matches as he came lurching home after a drunken Vegas weekend fucking someone, again, other than me Mom) as I cowered in the corner of my bed, that I not only had to be kept home from school for a week, but the bedroom had to be repainted to cover the blood spatters on the walls.

And, yeah, that was the short version.

Point is: Did I decide to go around fucking children, or in any way hurting others, using my shit father and upbringing as an excuse? No! And, no, this example was not intended to make this piece about me; but merely to illustrate that a lot of us have had hard lives that, at times, totally fucking sucked; but, we’ve gotten on, without frozen scrotums in our fridges or children hanging off our dicks!

We manage. We know what has happened to us, and we take the necessary steps to make sure we do not use our sad sack stories as a series of convenient excuses to just do whatever the fuck we want to a new generation of victims.

Why?

Because not all adults who were abused as kids are shit people; and, not everyone who was pushed around by someone they trusted will turn out to be a  BTK, Dahmer or Gacy.

Or Michael Jackson. Giving booze to kids (“Jesus Juice”); showing porn to them, sleeping in the same bed, etc., etc….

Using his then internationally immaculate image to dazzle, exploit and, ultimately, wear down the still-forming minds of those who held him in the highest regard.

All for a few lousy orgasms.

Again, NO ONE would ever pay $20 million to keep quiet something that never happened.

Would you, if you hadn’t done it?

No! So, what kind of dipshit PR Kool-Aid-drinking mindset has befallen these faux-weepy camera-hog fuckwads that have traveled here from all over the globe, just to pay “respeck” to a guy who so wanted to be thought of as the eternal child, yet so hated children in general, that he actually fucked them to the tune of multi-million dollar payouts, through trials and all, just to taste that baby poon…?

And yet, no one in the legitimate media seems to have the balls to bring this up (sit down, Nancy Grace….). Instead, all we hear is “King Of Pop”, “Thriller”, and on and on…..

So let’s say a few things here: Michael Jackson was, as an adult, a bad, bad man. Who’s bad?

He was. He was fucking horrible. Don’t hold your breath waiting for Larry King, Anderson Cooper, Rolling Stone or anyone else on a national or global media scale to say this, as they won’t. Instead, it’ll be us retard bloggers, so take all this for what you will….

But, before I go, just one last thing, that might go on for a bit.

Again, Michael Jackson as an adult made a few good records (OFF THE WALL certainly didn’t suck; and “Billie Jean” had a great whomping bassline…); but, to me there is a great separation between the Michael Jackson people are donning gloves for and mourning in the streets and the Michael I choose to remember….

(And, note here: I’ve not even mentioned the Sony/ATV, Beatles catalogue thing– as there was just too much kid-fucker grist for the mill…)

The Michael Jackson I choose to remember is not the kiddie-teabagger grotesquerie that floated like dense shit to the surface once he stopped being culturally relevant.

That latter-day Michael was, then and now (ask my old high school friend, Doug) always a joke to me. Kabuki, mask-wearing Michael was an even bigger joke…..

But, before he went on to do the horrible things he did, the young Michael Jackson, along with his brothers, made some music that actually manages to transcend all the apocalyptic bullshit he brought upon himself later….

It’s weird, I mean really weird; but, in my head, there is a definite split when it comes to the Jackson Five, and solo Michael Jackson.

If a J5 song comes on the radio, all that hits me is their vocal brilliance; and it feels again like the summer after my Mom ditched my asshole Dad. Though not my favorite song by the Five, I always keep going back to the “la-la-la-la-la-la…” background vocals in “I’ll Be There” as my favorite moment in their canon. God, they were fucking great….

And then we play all that happened afterward against that early and innocent canvas, and you just wanna ram your head through a wall….

The break-dancing apologists crying in the streets for the benefit of the news cameras; the drunken bloggers like me, and all the rest of us…..

We can all only guess; which might be unfair, I suppose.

But, I’m guessing we’ve all, at one point or another, undertipped a waitress when the service sucked; just as we’ve also overtipped a bit when the service was good, right?

A few extra dollars here and there ain’t exactly TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS just to silence someone you claim you did no harm against.

But, no one wants to talk about that, as it involves facts. So, instead, let’s all raise our voices in revisionist history! After all, if we’ll let a celebrity pedophile slide by and be canonized in death, then I guess it just makes good sense to let off the hook all the other celebrities who only choose to put him higher up on the cross, and all the idiot fans massing in the streets, karaoke-ing and dancing to the boomboxes, and denying all the while the sad truths with which they cannot be bothered….

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65 Responses to “ DEATH OF A CLOWN ”


  • settling out of court isnt an admission of guilt. mike cant get a fair trial. black people hate him for being too white, white people hate him for being to black and girly and everyone hates him cuz he’s rich and weird. the lawyers knew they couldnt win and didnt want to be known as the guys who lost the micheal jackson case so they forced him to settle. that or he totally raped kids. who knows? i dont and neither do you. but who gives a shit. after thriller mike’s been useless.

  • Most ignorant piece of garbage I’ve ever read. It’s not about you. You have no idea what went on in his personal life, just like we had no idea what went on in yours. But thanks for sharing, you poor judgemental victim.

  • You’ve got the fucking balls to call it like you see it. That’s called integrity, GOY, and for that you get much respect.

    Plenty of people agree with you, just none of them are postulating on MSNBC. Truth hurts. That’s how you know it’s the truth.

    right on Travis

  • Chris Checkmen wrote this… I fucked up and saved it under my name. My bad.

  • did travis write this or chris checkman?

  • GET OVER YOURSELF– If this is the most ignorant piece of garbage you’ve ever read, you need to get out more. Either that, or just read the next most ignorant piece of garbage I write, coming soon!

    chris checkman

  • The first two responses made me laugh, opticians must make a fortune…it’s stated all the way through that this is this guys opinion with enough reasoning to back it, all there is, is angrered people refusing to accept the signs, there’s no smoke without fire! Why would an adult man thrive on having little boys around him all day and ask to share a bed with them? I am female and used to babysit my neighbours kids, I watched them both grow up and was very close to them, even having the younger named after me but there was no way I would share a bed with either of them or even have an urge to, it just doesnt make sense..can you really be that naive to do it? And how could the parents allow it? Anyway I digress…There are alot of people who agree with the views of Travis, its the people wanting to ‘prove’ to themselves that they are ‘right’ that are scanning the net for such articles to defend MJ and make themselves feel that teensier bit better..
    Yes he had legendary status but he was far from innocent.

  • it was chris. this, like the fuck michael post a week ago, is comforting in light of all the nonsense im hearing on tv about michaels genius and his sainthood. and if i have to see al sharpton poke his lifesized bobblehead up anywhere newscameras are gonna be im gonna throw my TV out the window. that fuckin media whore makes me fucking barf along with hearing fat joe say this is one of the saddest days of his life and jz chazey or whatever the hell his name is talking about michaels importance to the universe. if you wanna judge michael judge him by his hardcore fans and the “artists” he so-called influenced.

  • This was long and rambling, but I still want to thank you for saying what I and a lot of my friends have been thinking. MJ used to be the biggest joke running before he died, and now everyone’s tripping over themselves to declare their love for him. It just makes me laugh.

  • That’s fair enough, but some of us actually genuinely disagree with you. Not blind fandom, opinion.
    I respect MJ’s music, his influence & inspiration on other artists & fans… ETC lalala…
    That aside, in regards to what you’re suggesting above, what can I say, he vibed me as innocent. Simple as that.
    Don’t disagree that he was all sorts of weird, but yeah. I think that just made him an even easier target than the average rich extortionee.
    I don’t know shit for sure. Neither do you though.
    I admit I’m just going on a vibe. That he was perhaps troubled/lost/misguided, but overall a loving, harmless soul type of vibe.
    Just saying, your entitled to your opinion definitely, but you’re clowning on others for theirs when your probably both working with the same actual knowledge – subjective. Opinion.
    I found the recent statements & interviews from those close to him insightful. Deepak Chopra (& his kids), Elizabeth Taylor & Lisa Marie Presley. I do find it a little hard to believe that they’d turn a blind eye to THAT.
    Anyway… Sucks about your dad. Peace & Love.
    Oh, & as for the $ thing – quicker, easier, less stressful. Slander, trials… probably not a walk in the park.
    20mill’s like 20k when you got it like that.
    Look, I hope he was innocent, for his own sake & that of the children involved. Many feel like he is, & many don’t want to condemn someone based on ??? So yeah man, the MJ stuff’s been overwhelming lately, but I think it’s understandable.
    Hmmm… this was LONG… :)

  • eight year olds dude

  • This is the MJ article I was waiting for. Keep writing, man. I’ll be all over that shit.

  • Spot on.
    Before he was seen as a joke in most eyes, certainly someone who had a lot of problems. Now, since he died, the media are tripping over themselves to praise him making him look like the victim of the press, and celebrities are doing the same to make themselves look good. Would they still be raving about him if he wasn’t all over the papers? Most likely not… He’s the new sob story – why do the media have to milk everything to the extreme?

  • Good article.

  • A couple of thoughts here:
    GET OVER YOURSELF– I should’ve written this earlier, but was somewhat busy. Anyway, where do you get off calling me a “poor judgemental victim”? Do I sound like some guest on Oprah to you, simply because I used an example from my past to illustrate a point I was trying to make? Did I say “PLEASE, PLEASE, PITY ME!!!!!”, either overtly or in a more subtly implied fashion?

    No, I did not. So, again, tell me where you get the balls (hiding behind an anonymity-preserving screen name, at that) to call me out as a “poor…victim”.
    (I’ll give you the “judgemental” part, as– big shock here, that’s what writers/volunteer bloggers kinda do…IT’S THE INTERNET, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! Wake up, have a beer and help all the rest of us help you ring in a HAPPY 1994!!!!!)

    You fucking moron.

    If your gripe was that I am injecting some of my experiences into the pieces I write; well, that might almost be considered fair. I have, from time to time, heard this criticism before, both in my writing and about the radio shows I used to do.

    There are schools of though which insist that those who choose to record and comment upon events should remain neutral and distant figures. You know, just the facts, ma’am-kinda stuff. Understandable from a theoretical point of view; but somewhat impossible from a practical one– unless you’re a Ryan Seacrest just looking to please all and offend none with your neutral opinions on just about everything, etc., etc….

    From now on, GET…YOURSELF, if you see my shit posted here, just avoid it, as it obviously offends you. Resist the temptation to read what you most likely will just hate; and certainly resist the temptation to comment under any one of a billion available screen names there to hide your true identity, as I’ll just rip an asshole that’ll travel from your tailbone to the base of your skull, no matter what wannabe-clever Strawberry Shortcake screen name you choose to hide behind, you sniveling little fucktard shit….

    Oh yeah, GET…YOURSELF. To quote your own reply back to me, it’s not about me; which, unless I am wrong (and I am not), I believe I went out of my way to say that the personal example I included was not there to, in any way, make the piece seem like it was about me.

    Do us both a favor, dude. Stop reading my stuff; and I’ll stop killing you in front of the few friends who still return your calls.

    You come in here, and the way this site is set up, you can change your screen name in the comments section every time. Cool for a coward like you. Someone so unsure of that which he proffers as true conviction, that he can just change, conveniently, his identity at any time.

    Call yourself “GET OVER YOURSELF”, or “ANAL SANTA BUG” or “FUCKED MOM WHILE DAD DROOLED”, or whatever; and you can say ANYTHING!!!

    Wow, what a brave little fucker you are for hiding behind an alias, and then ripping, like a little scoliosis weasel, someone willing to attach their actual real names to the words they write here/anywhere, often for free.

    Yeah, those anonymous shits like you are always there to criticize and comment; but, NONE of you ever gut up, give out your real names, and then write blogs or articles that might come up for debate and criticism, for/to which you might have to answer…As yourself, as opposed to a wannabe ironic screen name.

    It’s called accountability, GET OVER YOURSELF; and, while you might think yourself something of an anonymous internet wit that amuses your dumbshit friends; sorry little blood-crusted bitch, but you just hopped into the deep end here.

    I never shied away from attaching my real name to the radio shows I did; and the track record I and my co-hosts (Reverend Hitchcock, Ian MacKinnon, and Morris Beef, among others) built up was due, in part, to us not hiding from who we were

    Same with the writing for money thing, before I fucked it all up. Ooh, GET OVER YOURSELF, was that too personal a reference?

    Like I give a shit, right?

    I don’t.

    While I am okay with those saying positive things hiding behind screen names, it really pisses me off when someone wants to spit the negative screed and doesn’t have the balls or guts to put his or her name to it.

    C’mon GET, you tried to totally eviscerate me in front of the Buddyhead faithful in regard to my including a personal story in my Jackson piece; but, seeing as I went out of my way to say it was just to illustrate a point and not to make the piece about me (which everyone else, even those who disagreed with me, seemed to get), you’ve yet to do two things:

    1) reveal yourself, and write and post comment under your own name.

    and…

    2) Make clear your original complaint. Maybe you and your dimwit friends consider you a writer and/or something of a cultural arbiter; but, truth be told, you’re kind of a sad fucking dumbass. Your comments (again, hidden by my biggest pet peeve, the convenient screen name– for those who are just lame enough to need to hide behind a mask to pump out the words they write, but cannot screw up enough guts to stand aside) are of the knee-jerk contrarian variety; and, given that you have not evinced the guts to put your birth name beside what it is you want your skank-bag friends to believe you stand for, you’re just another sad fucking shit….

    Screen names are cool for certain websites; but, not cool when trying to call someone out.

    My name, Chris Checkman, is out here, as I am proud and happy that Buddyhead was willing to take me, and all my baggage, as a writer.

    And, for those who might post comments in the future:

    Sorry you had to see that, folks; but that little shit was something of an uneducated and pedantic asshole….

    I don’t take kindly to dipshits just wanting to attack.

    My view is this: Say whatever horrible shit you have to say; but at least attach your real name to it. If you just eanna write either a lukewarm “I agree” or a similarly lukewarm “I disagree” note, then cool.

    But, if you’re gonna try and extract blood in your comments, at least have the guts to step out from behind the ironic and anonymous screen names and have the guts to claim them as your own.

    Yeah, let’s try something new here:

    How’s about you brave sorts who are willing to post comments under the cover of anonymity finally ball up and post such words aside your real names.

    You know, like some of us you feel almost entitled to criticize from behind your gutless walls of anonymity….

    We attach our names to our arguments; perhaps it’s time for you to do the same….

    Yeah, right. Just keep hiding behind the convenient screen names, and tell us all how we should write….

    chris

  • this reads like a high school debate

  • Fine, I’ll come out and reveal my identity, Chris, I AM YOUR FATHER!!! ahahaha. Get a job and stop dedicating your time to crappy writing on the internet. I mean, you should at least spell check your tripe. I couldn’t bother to read beyond the first paragraph. I must have hit a nerve, you let it all out there, didn’t you? There there, honey. Daddy didn’t love you.

  • ‘get over yourself’ – you made your comment, and there was nothing wrong with that, but the last one was a bit cry baby….and like we haven’t heard THAT phrase before

  • this article sucks, keller and checkman lost my respect

  • hahahahahahaha

  • good article. interesting

  • GET OVER YOURSELF: I actually found the “IAM YOUR FATHER” comment funny for some reason. Also funny was the idea that you could only get through a paragraph but still felt the need to comment. Hmm, interesting.

    And yes, I am guilty of not spellchecking my typos, so you got me on that one.

    As for BLOODYHEAD: For an article so sucky that it cost me your respect, you were still reading and commenting on it well past your bedtime, weren’t you? Now I’ll be up all night trying to figure out how to win you back…

    your bestest pal ever!,
    chris

  • if i had the money id pay out millions instead of facing my moronic “peers” in a trial.innocent or not. you would be a numbnuts not to.

  • A few points to make here.
    First of all, I’d like to paraphrase something I heard comedian John Caparulo say about a week before Michael Jackson passed. He was on some late night show and they were discussing the Thriller-themed casino rumored to be opening in Vegas (which would/will be fucking awesome, by the way). Naturally, someone starts talking shit about Michael Jackson when he interjects, “Yeah, sure he’s a weirdo. What were you people like when you were the King of Pop? OH YEAH. Ya weren’t.” Consider that actual, proper royalty are completely fucking bizarre too. Can’t be easy to have every aspect of your life publicly scrutinized.
    To reiterate a previous statement, none of us know what that dude went through or how it affected him. It’s also more than a little unfair to judge and criticize him for something he was never actually convicted of. Yeah, maybe he did do it, and that would be totally condemnable, but we’ll probably never know for sure. Consider that the 20 million he paid in settlements is, most likely, substantially less than he would have spent on lawyer fees to be properly acquitted. A lot of people would do the same thing. It’s not uncommon.
    I can’t help but be a little irritated at the fact that nobody’s mentioned all the great humanitarian work he’s done. Yeah, he was nutty and spent a lot of money on giraffes and shit, but he also built hospitals for Crissake. Give him a little credit.
    For all his weirdness, too, the man always seemed like such a gentle soul, always soft-spoken and humble. Not to get all smarmy and shit, but he never struck me as the kind of guy who would ever do anything to hurt anyone. Maybe I’m wrong, but there’s no legitimate evidence to the contrary.
    All that aside, just love the dude because he made some great fucking tunes. Yeah, he put out some garbage too, but so has everyone else. I was at a restaurant a few weeks ago and evidently one of the employees had their iPod playing over the stereo, not realizing that “I Want You Back” was on repeat. The funny thing is, I didn’t mind. That is one of the few truly perfect songs ever written, like the Mona Lisa of pop, and I let it play no less than 10 times before telling the waitress.
    So, anyway, could you guys maybe shut the fuck up about Michael Jackson and come up with some more funny terms for “dick” and “pussy” aimed at shitty mall metal/punk bands? You’re actually pretty good at that, and it’s a helluva lot more enlightening. Thanks.

  • WAKA WAKA–A number of friends and others have said this to me since the article was posted. I guess I could see the point if it were like $50-$100k or somewhere in that area for someone who could afford such a thing.

    But, I have a hard time wrapping my head around the notion of paying someone $20 million to go away if I were guilty of nothing– no matter how much money I had!

    Still, I am also not a multi-multi millionaire; and one commenter here said that, to some, $20 million is like $20 thousand. Perhaps this is so; but all it really points to is that he was a kid-fucker with really lame lawyers. I mean surely a better legal team could’ve held the settlement numbers down around the $5 million level!

    Oh yeah, two quick things:

    (no, really)

    JF WHITESIDE:Sorry you think it that way, dude; but, if you wrote something, and then some taper-headed shit went all lowest common denominator on you, from behind a fake screen name, would you be so Kwai Chang Caine as to just walk away, Grasshopper?

    Maybe you would, but I couldn’t. Sorry if the comment string here was too much for you, or bummed you out; but (and, no offense intended here, really), if this is so, just don’t read said post-piece strings, as what you are likely to get are dipshit street fights just like this one.

    Some people are content to say their shit in short, Twitter-like bursts; which, as I am finding, is more pleasing to the short attention span minds mostly clouding the internet.

    Hey, it’s an “lol!”, “brb!”, abbreviation- based new tech world, geared for the Miley-Jonas-Retard-Beaky-Mick-and-Tich world. Fine for some; but, I’ll still use complete sentences; and if the long-winded stuff (be they articles or merely responses to comments on said articles) alienates some possible readers, well, I’ve got a choice.

    Either write as I’ve written all my life; or just turn into a pandering internet fake in the hope that I may some day be the king of those with diminishing attention spans.

    And, to GET OVER YOURSELF (or whatever you’ll next be known as…): Junior, my nerve when it comes to cowardly idiot shits exists at the surface, so don’t jerk off too hard at having hit it, okay?

    Thick-skinned in most ways, I am most intolerant and reactionary when it comes to braindead shits who just claim the opposing hill and fire back without any knowledge behind the words they’ve not the guts to endorse with their actual names!

    So, you hit a nerve with me, GET; as do all idiots, cowards and the like. Big deal.

    If you find a brain and point of view when next you dumpster dive, this debate will end right there.

    dance, you little shit,
    chris

  • (goddammit, I was hoping to go to espn.com from here; but, fuck!)
    RYAN– I addressed the fucking awesome stuff the Jackson 5 did! But, your question about none of us knowing what he went through and how it affected him is a little weird–especially since it has been noted in far more knowledgeable circles than this that the Santa Barbara County District Attorney’s office dropped the ball on what was considered something of a slam dunk case!

    And, again I beat the same old (at least of legal age, anyway) drum: $20 million!!! If innocent, no fucking way would $20 million have been a bargain compared against court costs, lawyers fees to gain an acquittal!

    Again, we’re not talking about $20k, or even $200k; we’re talking about TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS here! If there had been no substantial evidence against him, no way would a trial have gone on so long as to make a $20 million payout seem like a reasonable option.

    What WOULD HAVE made $20 million in hush money seem reasonable? A smoking gun with a $20 million price tag hanging off it, that’s what!

    And yeah, he went through some heavy shit, and was Mr. U.S.A. For Africa with “We Are The World”, and all. But, as I said in the piece, a lot of people go through heavy shit and don’t turn around and use their experiences as excuses to victimize others. Also, just because he did some philanthropic shit doesn’t mean he was worthy of a lifetime pass to just do whatever the hell he wanted.

    Does it?

    Just what the hell is it with everybody that has come crawling out from under the various rocks and dead vegetation since his death that compels them to hold this self-glorified sociopath up as some sort of latter-day saint somehow SO FUCKING MISUNDERSTOOD by the rest of the world???

    If some grubby nicotine-stained child molester from a Florida trailer park dies next week, does this mean that all the news agencies and celebrities will rush to Ocala to lionize him as the masses breakdance and karaoke next to his rusted-out ‘75 Monte Carlo????

    No, because that guy won’t get them and their mawkish displays of fake grief what they most desire:

    Camera time.

    At least I hope not.

    But, who the fuck knows?

    Perhaps that might sound a bit cynical for some with delicate sensibilities; which makes me worry even more about the state of this modern world.

    A number of you are all up in arms about the words of some dumbshit blogger; but, I ask this:

    Is there anything more manipulative and cynical than a global megastar who used his place and position (along with wine and porn) to wear down the defenses of the kids who worshipped him, upon whom he only wished to prey?

    Priorities, people. Get ‘em in order…

    chris

  • Chris,
    While I agree that your assertions and the reasoning behind them aren’t completely unwarranted, it’s still presumptuous to vehemently assume he’s guilty of these things. For all we know, it could’ve been the poor kid’s parents trying to scam some money off a superstar. Wouldn’t be the first time such a thing has happened.
    Before I go any further, know that a lot of what I’m saying is for the sake of objectivity and a level discourse, which is noticeably lacking in the MJ-related posts here. There’s certainly compelling evidence to suggest he did the things he’s been accused of, but also plenty to the contrary.
    I know 20 mil is a lot of fuckin’ money, but when you can do a couple shows and rake in loot like that, it’s not such a big deal, especially considering the financial, emotional, and personal cost of a court trial. If I was in a similar situation, I’d grudgingly cough it up too just so I could get back to my life and put that shit behind me.
    I never said that his philanthropy justified the fucked up things he may or may not have done; it doesn’t. I’m just trying to point out that the guy used his fame and fortune to help out those less fortunate, and you guys seem content to neglect that based on something he wasn’t properly convicted of.
    My compulsion to stick up for the dude is actually sort of similar to the way others feel obligated to demonize him. None of us know the whole story, and with the truth obscured in such a way, people pick a side based on the evidence they do have- which, I will remind you is still kinda sketchy. You think he’s an evil sumbitch, guilty of the most despicable attrocities a person can commit. All controversy aside, I think he was a nice man with some serious issues that still tried to make the world a better place. Bottom line is that based on what I do actually KNOW, it seems like he deserves a little empathy. One of us gives him the benefit of doubt, the other doesn’t, simple as that.
    Anyway… I’m glad we can at least agree that the Jackson 5 were the shit. Now can we go back to bashing bands that sonically sodomize the children every day and get away with it? Michael Jackson’s dead, but those motherfuckers are still a threat and thus far more deserving of our ire.

    So, speaking of music that’s the shit, anybody know what’s up with some new Frodus jams?

  • Chris, I was going to write about how I successfully navigated from this article to ESPN.com, and then I saw this:

    “McNair Found Dead”.

    Fuck.

  • Fuck yeah Ryan.

    :)

  • RYAN: We, I guess, will agree to disagree– though at least we both acknowledge the Jackson 5 as being great.

    ?: Well, you’re like a little cheerleader guy, aren’t you?

    MikeO: The McNair thing is just plain sad. Sounds like his little something on the side went batshit crazy murder/suicide on him. A shame, and a sad way to tarnish an otherwise great legacy. Though I’m a Rams fan, I couldn’t but admire the way he almost forced overtime in Super Bowl 34.

    A damn shame.

    chris

  • why are you talking about sports on buddyhead? and who cares about “screen names” he could tell you his real name and it would be the same thing to you : some dick on the internet. this whole thing has been really weird.

  • Hey ASDF: MikeO briefly mentioned Steve McNair, and replied, also in brief. As for the screen names thing, don’t tell me what would be the same thing to me, junior. You don’t know me. Hiding behind screen names while slinging shit is bush league chicken-ass behavior, whether you agree or not.

    And, I love the whole “this thing has been really weird” trip. Are you kidding me? Have you seen just how weird the internet can get? It isn’t all that weird; you just don’t like it– so just say that, instead of implying that this all has somehow stretched and distorted the reality of he world as you know it.

    If you or other don’t like what some people write, just don’t read stuff from those people. That way you won’t have to deal with opinions with which you disagree or ideas that seem to disorient you….

    Hope that wasn’t “really weird” for you…

    chris checkman

  • This is one of the best reactions on his “death” I read so far. Really like your way of writing and humour and I have to admit I wouldn’t pay a peanut if I am innocent neither. In my previous job I was called “The moving target” cos in a contest you only have 1 winner and the rest accuses you for faking the results. Who cares. The only thing I kinda disagree on is Jackson5.. hmm but maybe that’s cos I grew up in Vienna so I heard FALCO all day long as a kid. In the meantime I moved to a different country but hey, you should be here in Europe. The news was like this: “The mayor of Amsterdam, Job Cohen, announced that the city-plant will bloom a month earlier this year. Last year the penisplant attracted more than 2mio visitors”, “Next weekend we expect long traffic jams due to the unfinished highway at..”, “Michael Jackson is dead”, “The weather: …” In THAT order. On tv they had a ELVIS-night. Damn, I like Europe! It’s really not even half of the fuzz as in the US (I skip CNN for the next month). Actually I don’t even think he’s dead. Can gynoids die? If he really died I am sorry for everyone who’s in pain cos of that. Personally I dont care but I would really miss you Buddyhead’s if something would happen to you..

  • re: MJ’s pedophilia. I find it difficult to believe that an entire county (Santa Barbara) of officials would go to so much trouble of prosecuting an individual if they didn’t feel it was appropriate or if there wasn’t enough evidence to move forward with a trial. (maybe they hated blacks..I mean blacks posing as whites) If you followed the trial, the evidence collected was hair-raising (in my opinion, as a child sex-abuse victim…shit…is this too personal for a comment string…damn!). What really rings true about MJ’s possible guilt is what the jurors themselves said after the trial. Despite finding him innocent, many of the jurors publicly expressed their personal belief that he did, in fact, molest that particular boy. Talk about gutless people! They stated they felt the boy’s mother lacked credibility. Sooo…they believe him to be guilty, but were so offended by the victim’s mother they chose to find him innocent. Well, now doesn’t that just make perfect sense? The man was a rare talent no doubt, but he was also a textbook pedophiliac “groomer” of his victims. THAT is MY “opinion”. I hope some of you won’t hate me for voicing my opinion…my nerves are pretty delicate when it comes to flamers.

  • I’d like to congratulate Chris just for having the determination to write this rant. I haven’t really followed any of the Michael Jackson death’s news. The day it happened I heard it from a co-worker and the only thing I was able to blurt out at the moment was a confused “Is that for real?” I couldn’t figure out if it was some sort of rumour or publicity stunt or if it was an actual fact. When I did find out it was true I didn’t feel anything. Yes, back in the day (when I was like 5) I totally dug fooling around and jumping to his songs. Yes, I still consider Billy Jean to be a petty decent jam. But that’s it, that was a loooooooong time ago. Michael Jackson died long before his heart stoped beating, but that just wasn’t a convenient thing for the mass media to announce to their unbelieveably gullible audience around the world. Who’s this audience you might ask? Every single person that jumped on the bandwagon and went out to buy every Michael Jackson record they’re never going to listen to more than half a time. Every single person dressing up in red 80s jackets and shiny gloves while paying “tribute” in front of a webcam before uploading themselves to YouTube. Every single person that suddenly cares and doesn’t stop to ask: Why do I suddenly give a fuck? and answer themselves “Oh, I forgot, I actually never did.”

  • YVONNE: Aah, Europe! I’ve never been there; but at least from your telling of it, it appears that continent (or parts of it, anyway) seems to have a bit more perspective on this issue when it comes to it’s import. Here, it’s wall-to-wall Michael Jackson this/that on a constant basis that makes your head fucking spin. Anyway, not sure about the effects of hearing Falco all day long but you seem to have weathered it fine…

    Thanks for the kind words.

    chris checkman

  • Buddyhead continues to provide much needed counterbalance to mainstream journalism buffoonery.

    As for the media circus itself, and all these schmucks that can’t seem to stop talking about MJ in everyday conversation: I think people find themselves feeling guilty, knowing we all played a part in the creation of this fallen monster. Rather than work through it though, people find it easier to just put him on a pedestal and pretend the seedy stuff never happened.

    As annoying as all this tribute stuff is, we’re better off without Michael Jackson. I still like a good amount of the music he’s made, but his constant tainting of the collective consciousness hasn’t helped anybody.

  • Well done, Mr. Checkman. fine fine job with the piece. fine, fine job rebutting the dipshits that think it’s ok to serve children jesus juice and let them sleep in your bed.

    seriously people. check this out. i’m a good dancer. i’m a mediocre songwriter. i want you kid (or kid brother, or kid cousin, or whatever kid in your life might help me along in this analogy) to come to my house to play. i’m gonna serve him some jesus juice(wine), and then he/she will sleep in my bed. cool? yes? did you just say that’s fine?

    if that is your idea of logic, i am certain that i am not intelligent or articulate enough to convince you of the err of your ways. have fun with that. i suppose you also think that constantly reading articles / blogs written by people you think are a total backwards fuckwads make sense to you too. well look at that. here you are. i was right.

    again. well done, Mr. Checkman.

    Aa

  • p.s. the kat williams thing from a few years ago says it best.

  • shut up chris. god.

  • If you are passionately convinced that MJ wasn’t a kid-toucher, you are dumb enough to have deserved a night in his bed.

    Please review the below profile characteristics of a common child molestor before blindly pardoning Jacko:

    * Often the pedophile is male and over 30 years of age.
    * Single or with few friends in his age group.
    * If married, the relationship is more “companion” based with no sexual relations.
    * He is often vague about time gaps in employment which may indicate a loss in employment for questionable reasons or possible past incarceration.

    Pedophiles Like Child-like Activities:

    * He is often fascinated with children and child activities appearing to prefer those activities to adult oriented activities.
    * He will often refer to children in pure or angelic terms using descriptives like innocent, heavenly, divine, pure, and other words that describe children but seem inappropriate and exaggerated.
    * He has hobbies that are child-like such as collecting popular expensive toys, keeping reptiles or exotic pets, or building plane and car models.

    Pedophiles Often Prefer Children Close to Puberty:

    * Pedophiles often have a specific age of child they target. Some prefer younger children, some older.
    * Often his environment or a special room will be decorated in child-like decor and will appeal to the age and sex of the child he is trying to entice.
    * Many pedophiles often prefer children close to puberty who are sexually inexperienced, but curious about sex.

    As should be evident from the above: MJ. WAS. A. CHILD. MOLESTOR. During his trial, several of the jurors voted not guilty on grounds of weak evidence in that specific case, but did say that Michael Jackson had likely molested young boys. Get over it. You don’t need a hero. Not one like that.

    And for anyone suggesting that denials of molestation from Jackson’s pre-teen boyfriends hold weight, please see STOCKHOLME SYNDROME.

    Chris is absolutely right; if this was a Floridian trailer denizen who looked and acted like a redneck analog to MJ and had other people’s kids in his bed – just like Jacko did – the pedo-defenders in this discussion wouldn’t be so quick dismiss all allegations. It just shows the sick pervasiveness of pop culture in our value-assessment. Matters of justice are being decided based upon whether or not the suspect is/was a “King of Pop.”

    And dude, write about what you want. Don’t let the idiots who feign having not read your article, only to reference several points in your article, rile you up. And putting your personal perspective into your writing will always make things more interesting, so long as you’re not doing so self-indulgently, which I don’t believe that you are. But please don’t knock my boy Sly Stone. If he is as far gone as you imply, I do NOT want knowledge of it. “There’s A Riot Going On” is one of the best records ever made.

    And in kind, “I Want You Back” is on the short-list of best songs ever. Though mainly on account of the great James Jamerson, who deserved a funeral exponentially bigger than Jacko’s. I have never cared about any music made under the name Michael Jackson. It’s all disposable disco; no soul, whatever.

  • a black kid lights his hair on fire, turns in to an asian woman, tears up mcaully culkin’s ass, dangles a baby off a balcony, buys a monkey and names it bubbles, builds a child rape gulag/amusement park, shoots pfizer smack all day for a decade and croaks.. the aristocrats. fuck it

  • Wow! The latest comments…Where to begin?

    Here, of course….

    To SHUT UP CHRIS: What a great, well stated, well rounded argument for me to, er, shut up. Well said. My considered reply?

    Fuck you, you monosyllabic drone.

    STEGODON: Brilliant….

    AA, TODD S. and CHIP NORMAN: Thanks for the words about the piece. The Sly Stone thing was an impulse reference; but, while he is way off his rocker, I hope no one thought I was implying he’s a perv like Jackson, as I was not.

    I agree completely with the thoughts on James Jamerson, as he was one of the best bassists EVER!, and died way too damn soon. Now THAT was a true loss for the world of music.

    No one tried to dress like Jamerson, or dance like him; but, how many novice musicians picked up their first bass, at least in part, because of his grooves?

    That number would easily fill the Staples Center– and for better reasons than a pack of blind lemmings looking for a little camera time….

    chris checkman

  • You´re speaking out exactly what I was thinking the past few Days, Brother. Really. Thank you for that. I cant really tell how much this “Messias” Bullshit is pissin me off. I´ve seen an Documentary on (european) ARTE the other Day that reflected his perversion. It´s like you and ARTE are the only “Mediums” that finally have the Balls to speak up ! It feels so good to know I´m not alone in my thinking. (“You are not alone…”)
    YOU SAID IT, BRUVVVAAAA !!! God bless you, mate !

  • AND PEOPLE…. DONT FORGET ABOUT JORDAN CHANDLER EVERYONE !!!
    He stated that Michael Jackson called Sperm “Duck-Butter” (no 12-year old could make that shit up) and could describe Michaels Dick perfectly to the Police (there were Body tests). There was simply no one to stop him or at least trying to tell him to stop. And that 2005 Trial endorsed him for his behaviour. This man had even the insensitivity to still present himself in the Media with Children and creating giant “Stalin”-like Statues of himself. He was simply the most famous Pedophile ever to walk on Planet motherfucking Earth. Now swallow it !

  • ROYCE: I had never heard the “duck butter” quote before. Christ, the dude was even skeevier than I’d thought, which I’d not believed possible until now….

    chris

  • i really like the article, i was almost sick of reading all this jacko shitty circus of how he was an excellent human being…

  • Was relatively young when all this allegedly went down.
    Thought maybe I needed to take another look at my stance, so read over http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1993_child_sexual_abuse_accusations_against_Michael_Jackson & http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_v._Jackson
    Hmmm… unless Wikipedia’s being unreliable (which it can very well be), then I think I’m still “team MJ”.
    & ss I said before, I really do find it pretty hard to believe that some of the (famous, rich, not after his $) people closest to him would not only turn a blind eye if he were guilty, but also vehemently support him. & still leave their kids with him.
    Anyway, whatever. Not trying to convince anyone. Maybe one day we’ll know for sure.
    P.S Can you get a foreskin glued back on? Serious question. Don’t really want to google it lol.

  • ooh, I’m skerrred. Checkman’s gonna kick my arse.

  • GET OVER YOURSELF: God, you are a clueless little internet shut-in idiot. Feel free to change screen names and write back anytime, as I’m sure you will.

    Just as I am sure it won’t make a whit of sense….

    chris checkman

  • It’s nice to not read another ballwashing article stating how misunderstood this man was. Ignore the fact that he was a Paedophile, a Drug addict, and he DANGLED HIS FUCKING BABY OUTSIDE OF A HOTEL WINDOW…he was such a swell guy! It’s a shame a relatively talented songwriter is dead, but don’t pretend he was anything other than a sick human being.

  • I’d say it’s a 50/ 50 split on wether he actually touched litte boys or whether little boys parents wanted to touch MJ’s mountains of loot. They gave up immediately after being paid off, give me a fucking break. That 20 mil was all it took to get the child’s loving parents to drop the charges? Well, sounds like it was about money, not justice, or even a crime to me. Follow the money.

  • Nice job of writing man.

    Michael Jackson was a walk talking freak show of a Mr. Potato Head. I want new lips, boink here they are, I want a new nose, schlip there you go buddy.

    This guy belonged in jail just for his weirdness factor alone, throw in the jacking around with children and he should have been serving a life term for being a douche bag.

    Enjoy being dead Michael, you deserve it.

  • oh, chris. I have missed you… :)

  • Your dad really DID mess you up in the head, didn’t he? I can’t be bothered wasting my time on an angry rant, but I’d just like to say writing can be good without every second word being ‘fuck’.

  • Great article Chris. But if I may also add, Fuck Antonio Villaraigosa while we’re add it. Do we really have to pay for the clown’s funeral? No one asked me.

  • i can’t believe i wasted my time reading this shit.
    terrible article, terrible responses and chris checkman takes the internet way too seriously.
    why would anyone take any reviews or whatever on this site seriously when the writers are so eager to argue their opinion and not take into account anybody else’s?
    disappointing. i used to love this site.

  • I just want to mention that I am liked his music and not his antic but to the statement “no one cuts a 20m check who is innocent” required serious scrutiny.

    To Jacko, 20m was petty cash in his Neverland eyes.

    The payoff to go away was do-able and would make it all go away instead of him being dragged through the mud (even if he is innocent).

    He lived in another category of money than most. . . he did not see 20m as something he could not generate somehow with his background, if needed.

    So to make such an assumption or presumption is not fair in my opinion. . . He was weird and did weird shit but maybe, just maybe, he did not cross the lines as charged civilly – remember, as w/ OJ the standard of one grain of sand over the 50% preponderance as required is much more easily attainable than the criminal jury instructions of beyond a reasonable doubt.

    Innocent people and companies in proportion to what they can afford settle matters all the time. Jacko was not sitting at the 2 or 20 or 200 or 2000 or 20000 blackjack or baccarat table – his limits were much higher so the 20m view is true for what most of us experience. . . but he was hardly in our category personally or financially. This is not to say he was innocent, it is only to say that the settlement is not proof of guilt, by any means, it his case and perhaps most cases. That is why, generally, settlements are not admissible of proof of guilt in courtrooms in America.

  • wow.

    this article was great… and comments were just as good/important.

    buddyhead is back.

  • This cluess internet shut-in pwned the crap out of you.

  • Love the Flame Wars.

  • ALL:
    Have’nt been here in awhile; but, having checked in to see any recent replies, well, I can’t let ‘em go without comment…

    DOUBLEVISIONQUEST– Before I address, briefly, your lame-assed attack on me personally, let’s tackle your attempt to belittle the writers on the site, shall we?

    I think your argument against us here, instead, made something of an argument FOR us, in the sense that we here actually will comment back to you guys (the readers, for whom we are ever grateful, even when they are misinformed kneejerk Thalidomide holdovers, like yourself…), as we are actually interested in your feedback, and are happy, more or less, to respond.

    But, what do you expect from that response, DOUBLEVISIONQUEST? Complete capitulation? A Charles Barkley-esque “I was misquoted” in my own article thing?

    Or perhaps we should just grab our ankles and let you fuck us all up the ass(es), you absurd dumshit?

    If you look back on the very small amount of articles I’ve written here (so far), I’ve, yes, rescinded a few certain things I’ve said in article, based solely upon the responses of readers like you.

    Well, DOUBLEVISIONQUEST, not entirely like you, as they had functioning brains….

    So, don’t give us this shit about not listening, merely because once we write a piece, we care enough about it to check the comments/replies and write back to to who’ve taken the time to read/write us.

    What did you expect? Us to be so flimsily attached to the opinions served up in our articles, that we’d just fold and acquiesce once someone like you came along to tell us how shit we were?

    It’s called “debate”, DOUBLEVISIONQUEST; so go fucking look it up, you goddamn prolapsed asshole of a close-minded idiot…

    “Terrible article”, “terrible responses”, “Chris Checkman takes the internet way too seriously”….

    The “terrible article” thing I can let go; as, no matter what you say, your perv kid-fucker hero did what he did– and you and all the rest of the blind-eyed apologists can just run into the streets, dressed in the red Thriller jackets, and dance and karaoke away the truth in a fruit dance of celebrity cocksucking worship and denial.

    In short, fan of Short Eyes, you just prove my point, don’t you?

    But, pull the kiddy-tang out of your mouth long enough to get this, DOUBLEVISIONQUEST:

    Knock me all you want, you shrieky little dumbfuck uninformed starfucker follower shit; as I’ve had all manner of stalkers and other goofy little bitches like you clutter up my life for well over 20 years, so you’re nothing special…

    But, don’t tar the other folks on this site with just the one brush, as I know the other writers here can easily piss the likes of you off in any number of ways…

    No, GET OVER, not really. Just mentioning you to be polite…

    Thanks to JOE and TS (yeah, fuck Villaraigosa, too; but, as an aside, well done to the mayor on the whole Lu Parker thing, I say….)

    WITH APOLOGIES TO THE HIERARCHY HERE AT BUDDYHEAD.COM, LEMME SPEAK POSSIBLY A BIT OUT OF TURN:

    We appreciate your patronage, that you read us; and that you tell your friends.

    We do not discourage debate, nor shy away from possibly being swayed by well-stated/informed opposing views…

    We welcome and accept all replies and comments as valid responses (solicited or otherwise) to whatever it is we write, as this whole intereaction thing is what it’s supposed to be all about, right?

    But, boys and girls; just like you can aggressively disagree with us, without fear of being labelled close-minded, just allow us the same pass, okay?, to not sound as fucking uninformed as do you, okay?

    You want us to listen to your shit as much as we want you to read ours– so just grant us the same pass, okay…?

    Oh, hell, you won’t! You, the guy that criticizes us, will be some weedy 5′9″, 130lb. guy hooked up with some crazy fat chick with huge brown nipples but a decent meth connection; so, this might be enough for you– and if I know the meth people as well as I do, well, meth people tend to have SHIT taste in music….

    So, DOUBLEVISIONQUEST, it turns out you’ve got bigger problems that can be solved here….

    hah!

    fuck off,
    chris

  • Typical, predictable and overwhelmingly uninteresting. A really long article about someone you don’t like. Why waste your time?

  • TREVOR– High praise, man. The reason I wasted my time was because I find wasting my time a fun and relaxing way to waste my time.

    Hope that helps…

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