COURTNEY LOVE IS A FUCKING EVIL MANIPULATIVE SELFISH CUNT WHORE BITCH! And… COURTNEY LOVE KILLED KURT COBAIN, EITHER DIRECTLY OR NON-DIRECTLY!” FACT!

Ok, now that we’ve got some of the Courtney bashing out of the way, let me begin this review by saying that this concert was a very special one to me. Wait, first you gotta check out this official trailer for this here Nirvana Live At The Paramount DVD:

Pretty sick eh? The reason it looks so good is because it was transferred from 16mm film and multi-track audio. It’s actually the only known Nirvana concert shot to film and is now available in a 1080p high-definition picture and uncompressed 5.1 surround sound and stereo on Blu-ray (or you can just get the DVD cuz let’s face it only rich dickheads own Blue-ray players and no one can really tell the difference anyways).

Seeing Nirvana’s homecoming show at the Paramount Theatre in Seattle again brought back a flood of memories. Why you ask? Well, because on Halloween 1991, I (Travis Keller, age 14) snuck out of my parents house, skipped school (cuz let’s get honest High School is a waste of fucking time, I was ready to become a student of the school of life), hopped in a car with three kids who went to the univercity of Idaho (in Moscow, Idaho where I grew up) and drove six hours to Seattle, Washington (the birthplace of GRUNGE and in those days what I considered to be the center of the cool universe) to see Bikini Kill, Nirvana and Mudhoney. And we were supposed to see em in that order, but considering Nevermind had come out a little over a month before this (September 23rd, 1991) and become more popular than wearing underwear. Plus this was to be Nirvana first show in North America (let alone in their adopted home town of Seattle) since there already famous record came out with the naked baby floating after a dollar bill, it was wisely decided that Mudhoney would swap time slots with Nirvana and go on before them.

Nirvana (Jesus Don’t Want Me For A Sunbeam) – YouTube

Now I know this sounds super cheesy (I don’t give a fuck cuz it’s honestly true) but my life was forever changed after I walked through the doors to the Paramount. For one I’d never been to a real big concert without parental supervision or an older dorky cousin making me look like a poser. In fact I’m gonna get honest and admit that the only other concert I’d been to at this point in my life was Amy Grant with my mom. We just didn’t get much live music in Idaho. Sure I’d been to local punk shows my parent put on but that seemed different than this because I usually knew everyone in the bands, everyone in the crowd too, there wasn’t usually very much of a stage, zero massive lights and our punk shows didn’t attract older kids in jean jackets smoking weird smelling cigarettes (I was later scolded that they were smoking “Marijuana DORK!” by one of the kids I rode with). Just being there under the giant lights and knowing that I was going to see three of my favorite bands play some of my favorite songs up there on that stage made everything I dreamed of doing so tangible. A feeling that I really could do whatever the fuck I wanted with my life washed over me. In a little under three years graduation day WOULD pass and I would be free of my parents controlling grip and on my directionless way to sunny Los Angeles, California. This show on this DVD changed me forever and gave me the kick in the ass it took to save my money from working at the local movie theatre and the campus golf course (I had the best job… parking golf carts and driving the cart that picks up all the driving range balls… it was the best job I’ve ever had), tell my parents that I was leaving for La La Land (to which they replied sternly that I’d be crawling back to them in 6 months and I didn’t talk to them for the first 6 years I lived in LA. The only reason I did was I had found out they were getting a divorce. Now I don’t wanna get too personal or too braggy but…. ahhh fuck it, I’m bragging my fucking ass off and if you don’t like it stop reading this review cuz let’s face it, you know Nirvana is awesome, there aren’t any bands that even come close to being as cool as they were and of course this footage is gonna look sick cuz it’s shot on 16mm. But yeah, sorry if you had my personal story review but being someone who attended this show IS something that you brag about, sorry I’m cooler than you deal with it jealous guy.

Nirvana – “Endless Nameless” (aka “The Secret Song”) live
[bootleg version NOT ON THIS DVD]

Anyways, back to me… so there I was about to see Kathleen Hanna, whom I had a massive school boy crush on (and yes her hairy armpits did bum me out a little but I soon got over that once they started rocking and instantly fell back in love with her), and her band Bikini Kill plow through what I deemed as already classic hits. Isn’t it funny that Kathleen Hanna, the queen of Riot Grrlds, ended up with Ad Rock, (a Beastie Boy, a guy who wanted to call their first album “Don’t Be A Faggot” (Capitol wouldn’t let them). Read her blog here. Mudhoney fucking ripped too. That’s the only bummer is that their sets weren’t filmed and slapped on this DVD too. Now that would be a dream! Does anyone know of footage of the other two bands existing. I’m gonna guess it doesn’t just based on the fact that I’ve never seen it or even heard of it. But if I’m wrong, let the truth ring out in the comments section yo!

I remember being pissed on the ride home at my parents for a number of reasons, mainly that we didn’t live in Seattle where things that mattered to me were actually happening. A place that actually had… CULTURE! I mean, I was born Spokane, Washington, why did we have to move to culture-less wasteland known as Northern Idaho, where no bands ever play (except Built To Spill and Modest mouse, and back then I loathed both bands because they “weren’t punk”. I have however grown to like both bands ironically) and it doesn’t get any WHITER (it’s actually where all the cops in the Rodney King case moved). I was pissed a lot of the time as a kid, the world just didn’t seem fair to me. Well on Halloween 1991 everything seemed fair, everything seemed to go my way, everything seemed possible and no… my parents didn’t find out that I had hitched a ride six hours away to see a rock show. In fact I just recently told my Mum (she’s a Canuck) this story and made her laugh like a piglet, my Mum snorts when she laughs in the cutest way. It used to really bother me as a kid cuz I though it was weird but I’ve grown to really love my Mum now and it makes my day when I can get her to snort. I don’t talk to my Dad in case you were wondering cuz he’s a close minded dickhead jock track N’ field coach (ever seen the PE coach on Bevis and Butthead? Well see the video below and that’s exactly how my dad was/is still) who was bummed he didn’t have a son who was a clone of himself so he never listened to me, got to know me and is probably the reason I do what I do here with Buddyhead. Why else would I need all this attention and need everyone to listen to my opinions? So anyways, thanks again for being a shitty dad, Coach Mike.

Bevis and Butthead – Self Esteem Lesson By Buzzcut

Ok you either now you know way too much information about my childhood or that shit worked like a big fat bar of Xanax and you’re fast asleep (in that case your welcome). All you need to know is this is a complete set of Nirvana from their second record era when they still cared a little, were tight and kicked ass! Plus it’s shot on film so it looks amazing. And for kicks they threw on all four “Nevermind” era music videos which even though I’ve seen them way too many times were still fun to watch.

I don’t think I’ll ever love (and hate) a band as much as I loved (and hated – first when they got so popular the jocks who beat me up for being a weirdo got into them and then again when Kurt pussed out and blew his head off leaving us to suffer through two decades of Foo Fighter records – THANKS DICK!) Nirvana. And with all that said (sorry I had Diarrhea mouth tonight) go out and buy yourself a copy of this badboy, it’s worth owning!

Even Axl is down with this DVD by now… he stamps it a KILLER as he’s flown to africa to have his hair re-braided! Booyah!

Hey Axl, when are we gonna hang buddy? Let’s party on Acid and the stair-master like I hear you’re into! I’m ready! Also, how can I get myself a pair of Axl Rose Converse shoes?

Just like these:

And these:

Here’s the tracklisting, in case Axl Rose was wondering.

LIVE AT THE PARAMOUNT THEATRE previously unreleased concert

1. Jesus Doesn’t Want Me For A Sunbeam
2. Aneurysm
3. Drain You
4. School
5. Floyd The Barber
6. Smells Like Teen Spirit
7. About A Girl
8. Polly
9. Breed
10. Sliver
11. Love Buzz
12. Lithium
13. Been A Son
14. Negative Creep
15. On A Plain
16. Blew
17. Rape Me
18. Territorial Pissings
19. Endless, Nameless

DVD EXTRAS
1. Smells Like Teen Spirit (music video)
2. Come As You Are (music video)
3. Lithium (music video)
4. In Bloom (music video)

Also did you know Deer Tick had a Nirvana tribute band for a while? I guess it go more popular than their real band was so they ended it but I’m pretty sure they played Bonaroo first! I wish I could have seen them play! Get the Nirvana tribute band back together guys!!!

Deervana – Serve the Servants

Zach Von Hoozer of Zulu Pearls is quite a character. Slightly oversized shirts, sunglasses, occasional tye-dye and a mellow manner like a manager of a tiki-bar in the 1960s on a sleepy Hawaiian beach. But upon first meeting you wouldn’t expect him to be the frontman of Washington, D.C. to Berlin, Germany’s rock n’ lounge(?!) band Zulu Pearls or perhaps it completely makes sense. Great vocals bringing to mind a bit of Gaz Coombes  from Supergrass but with an occasional swagger of Leonard Cohen whilst a surfy-rock/killer lounge band backing it all up. His diverse vocals go from a nasally Brit-pop to sultry 1950s crooner which makes a nice contrast. DIY but not Lo-Fi, nostalgic but not retro, Zulu Pearls grabs cynical romanticism by the throat with spirit and proclaims that well-crafted guitar music is here to stay you blasted scalawag!

Axl thought about it and decided it is a pretty rad debut but maybe it becomes killer the more he listens to it! Slow growth, man. He is excited about what Zulu Pearls will make next and hopes to pop a dubbed cassette of theirs in his walkman next time he jogs around the block with a promo Zulu Pearls band-tee and bike shorts. Axl looks at the California sunset while sitting on his deck and reflects Zulu Pearl’s relocation to Germany, it brings to mind fond memories of Guns playing “Civil War” in Berlin in 1992. Mmmmm…

Their album is available on 180gram vinyl along as digital only on their Bandcamp page. 3 tracks are also free downloads. Check it out >

…or if new interface experiences like Bandcamp scares you you can download mp3s here:

DOWNLOAD “Hard & Young” mp3

DOWNLOAD “Keep It Cool” mp3

DOWNLOAD “Magic Tricks” mp3

The video cannot be shown dickfore at the moment. Please try again later.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

“Take risks. Get high. Make Love. Write Songs. Live Forever.”

Great band motto, eh? You’re gonna like these guys, trust me.

Lilac is from San Francisco, CA and comprised of lovers Will Ivy & Kirsten Knick (a couple in love who according to their bio met as a result of fate, were drawn to each other in a love-at-first-sight fashion, became lovers, started living together & started Lilac) with the help of guitarist and close friend Chrys Nodal and drummer Jesse Short. “Yeah, yeah!” you say, “I’ve heard this story before…” well this time it’s different chappy cuz these guys don’t suck. In fact one of the only negative things I have to say about their debut EP is that these five songs just leave me wanting more! And these songs sound great thanks to accomplished Bay Area producer Patrick Brown of Different Fur Studios. Now, let’s hear a full length dudes!

Will has been a staple in the San Fran music scene for a while now having played in various bands such as Girls, BRIDEZ, Hunx and his Punx and Honey. When listening to Lilac I hear a ton of cool influences (yet they still manage to have their own unique sound and voice) and most of them are from the 90s. I love that bands are coming around full circle and sounding like the 90s again cuz let’s be honest the 90s were fucking awesome.  If this EP had actually come out in the 90s it would have gotten labeled “Grunge!” for sure (but now that I think about it pretty much EVERYTHING that came out in the 90s got that label). Fuzzy guitars, Will & Kristen trading off on vocal duties (with Kristen sounding like a dead ringer for Mazzy Star’s Hope Sandoval), memorable lyrics and nods that their record collection contains albums by Nirvana, Pixies, Breeders, Mudhoney, The Vaselines, Mazzy Star, Primal Scream, The Verve, The Stone Roses, Love and Rockets, Blur, Echo and the Bunnymen, Oasis, The Fall, My Bloody Valentine, and The Velvet Underground. Pretty fuckin’ good taste if you ask me… and if you’re on this site you’re pretty much asking me. My roomate Carleton thinks the girl in this band sounds like “Juliette Lewis on a shitload of prescription pills!”

And I liked this part of their bio so much that I decided to just copy and paste it for you to read. Makes my job easy and it’s a pretty fucking cool manifesto of sorts man. Dig it.

“LILAC is pop religion for non-believers. A heavy driving acid grunge dream, LILAC’s music, similar to Nirvana in spirit and intent, aspires to represent a subculture – a subculture comprised of the passionate, unusual, angsty, romantic, poor, queer, long-haired, starry-eyed, depressed, downtrodden, dirty, loud, funny, ugly, beautiful, and bright. They want the true singers and dreamers of the dream to take back culture and make it shine again. Their songs are a reach for eternal acts of passion in the face of death. It is about love, but mostly sexual and even more, about heartbreak. It’s a flower and it is a drug.”

Download these two jams… one Will sings and one Kristen sings… You can buy these rock gems through Omega Records now via iTunes on (came out June 7th) and on a slab of Vinyl on July 19th. They sent me an LP and it’s fuckin nice, you’re gonna want one of your own.

Lilac – “So Young”

Lilac – “Moon”

Oh and Axl Rose digs Lilac. Promise.

Davila 666
Tan Bajo
In The Red Records

Introducing the world’ss best Puerto Rican party band! Back with their second full length, this time around I smell a little Jesus & Mary Chain mixed in with their Spanish fueled garage rock! This is one killer album! I could spin words all day about how great this is, but why don’t you stop reading and just head bang along to this mp3?

Davila 666 – “Esa Nena Nunca Regreso”

Tan Bajo:

1. Abuelo
2. Obsesionao
3. Yo Seria Otro
4. Los Cruces
5. Si Me Ves
6. Mala
7. Robacuna
8. Esa Nena Nunca Regreso
9. Esu Que Me Haces
10. Putitas
11. Diablo!!
12. Ratata
13. Noches De Terror
14. De Verdo

Radiohead
“The King Of Limbs”
TDB

So this is the new Radiohead record, eh? I love that it leaked early, you can’t stop this shit. The internet keeps fucking up every marketing plan no matter how forward thinking they think they are. They might wanna classify this record as a sleeping aide up there with powerhouses like Xanex and Ambien. Do not operate heavy machinery while listening to this new Radiohead record.

This review will prolly totally bum out all of you fan boys who seem to eat up whatever these dudes dish up. I feel like Radiohead could diarrhea (did I spell that right?) in a bag and sell it on the internet for $9.99 and people would buy em up. Blind sheep.

“The King Of Limbs” is the band’s eighth studio album and I think they’ve crossed over the halfway point and have let me down more times than they’ve sucked me in as a fan. “In Rainbows” was boring. “Hail To The Theif” was lop-sided and frankly just not good enough. “Kid A” was pretty cool but “Amnesiac” was a snoozer. And of course I loved “Ok Computer” and “The Bends” while I don’t think I’ve ever listened to more than two songs from “Pablo Honey”. I guess what I’m saying is I’m giving up on Radiohead ever wanting to be a rad progressive rock band again after hearing “The King Of Limbs”. More like the king of early nineties down-tempo early morning sun coming up rave music. Zero guitar on this album, it’s all weak sounding drum loops, low bass, sprinkled with keyboards and Thom Yorkes washed out voice. And even though I just listened to the entire record, I couldn’t tell you what one song was about.

Bummer! I really wanted a new album to listen to but this record makes bands like Beach House sound, well…. like “Ok Computer”.

The last song, “Separator”, is the best on the album.
Radiohead – Separator

Proof that Thom Yorke is completely out of touch with his fan base and stone cold TRIPPING! See video below:

Radiohead – “Lotus Flower” Music Video

The King of Limbs:

01 Bloom
02 Morning Mr Magpie
03 Little by Little
04 Feral
05 Lotus Flower
06 Codex
07 Give Up the Ghost
08 Separator

Full album stream:

CHARLIE & THE MOONHEARTS / TEEN ANGER
12 Inch Split
Telephone Explosion

I’ve been meaning to review this “double-banger” slab O’ wax from Telephone Explosion (a really cool boutique label from Toronto) for a long time, sorry for the hold up everybody… here goes! First off, if you aren’t hip to this label (Telephone Explosion) do yourself a favor, hit their interweb site @ http://www.telephoneexplosion.com/ and get with it. They’re really doing it right. Case in point: this here split 12 inch vinyl from these two kick ass bands (hence the “double-banger” tag line I’ve given it).

Charlie & The Moonhearts – “I Hate You”

On side one we have Charlie & The Moonhearts (who now just go by The Moonhearts) who are from the same city as I am (Los Angeles) and have played a few of the Big Muff nights Buddyhead co-presented at Spaceland (RIP) in 2010. These boys bring the fuckin’ heat live! These six blistering songs were captured by another one of my favorite rock n’ rollers, San Francisco’s multi-talented Ty Segall on 8.10.2008 at “Wizard Mountain”, including a pretty killer version of “Tequila” on this bad-boy. So if you’re a fan of that guy yer gonna most likely wanna check these dudes out too.

Teen Anger – “Minimum Wage”

Side two has five killer tunes by Teen Anger from their (out of print) “Banned from the Beaver” tape. They’ve got the fire and the fury from the sound of these jams. I’ve never seen em live but I can’t wait to! Neither can Axl…

If you want your own copy hurry cuz they only pressed 500 of these bad boys! You can order it from Telephone Explosion for $16 US, which includes shipping in North America and Europe. If you’d like to order, paypal =Telephoneexplosion@gmail.com. Or hit http://www.telephoneexplosion.com/site/?page_id=13 for more info.

OR…

Click HERE to buy from Amazon.

Click HERE to buy from Itunes.

UNKLE
“The Answer EP”
Surrender All

UNKLE career is like a roller-coaster for me, lots of ups and lots of downs. My love/hate relationship is due to their inconsistent quality of their musical output, which is in turn due to James Lavelle’s lack of consistent band members. Record to record, James is the only steady member. Their first record, “Psyence Fiction”, which he made with the help of DJ Shadow is their most popular. Most likely you remember the car-wrecking bum video for “Rabbit In Your Headlight” featuring Thom Yorke of Radiohead fame. It’s kinda hard to forget. While I like moments on that first UNKLE record, there are also moments on it that make me cringe (aka the song with Mike D, Badly Drawn Boy & Kool G Rap) from second hand embarrassment.

UNKLE – “Rabbit In Your Headlights”

It wasn’t until the hip-hip oriented DJ Shadow was replaced with the rock n’ roller Richard File and UNKLE released their second album “Never, Never, Land” that I really started to pay attention and consider myself a fan. The guests on this record included Stone Roses -> Ian Brown and Mani (on my favorite song “Reign”), Queens Of The Stoneage’s Josh Homme, Brian Eno & always charming Jarvis Cocker. It’s a good record but it’s nowhere near as good as what came next with their third album (and second with Richard File on board). They were warming up and getting familiar with each other on this one, what would happen next would be light years ahead of this.

UNKLE – “Reign”

The Chris Goss produced “War Stories” is where UNKLE peaked, it’s a near perfect record that tastefully mixes rock with danceable beats. The all-star guests list reads like this: Ian Astbury (of The Cult), Josh Homme, The Duke Spirit (who soon after Goss produce their record), Autolux, 3D, Gavin Clark, Lee Gorton and even Goss himself. If you don’t own this record, I can’t recommend it enough. Buy it.

UNKLE – “Hold My Hand”

UNKLE – “Burn My Shadow”

UNKLE – “Restless #1″

UNKLE – “Restless #2″

Anyways, long story short Richard File was fired from the band (rumor is that it was over a girl) and soon after that it was announced James would release “More Stories” (B-Sides Compilation), “End Titles… Stories for Film” & “End Titles… Redux” (all of which seemed to take b-sides or scraps from File-”War Stories”-era Unkle and rehash them) under the name UNKLE. There was a lot of filler on these record but I liked a few tracks here and there. “Heaven” stuck out as a nice jam but overall it was crystal clear that the band was in a creative lull now that they were without Richard. I couldn’t wait for fresh, brand new full length.

UNKLE – “Heaven”

I got excited this year when UNKLE announced that James had a new partner in music-making named “Pablo Clements” and that they had recorded a new album “Where Did the Night Fall”.  But I was let down HARD when I heard it because aside from the song “Natural Selection” (featuring The Black Angels) the record sounded like even UNKLE couldn’t do UNKLE anymore. It was a completely confused and sad attempt at an UNKLE record and made obvious that Richard File (who just produced the new record from The Duke Spirit which will come out in 2011) was missed very much. I was sad that one of my favorite band was possibly over.

UNKLE- “Natural Selection”

Which is why when the band gave away The Answer EP to their fans a few months later, I really gave it a chance and listened with open ears. I even got the slickly designed limited gate-fold double LP in the mail (I just noticed they are selling it for a whooping $45 on their website!!! Anyone wanna buy mine?), which has zero text on it aside. What I’m trying to say is at least it looks cool!

Here’s by track by track blow by blow review of UNKLE’s The Answer EP:

01. The Answer (ft. Big In Japan – Baltimore)
Prolly the best song on the EP, this could have fit very nicely on “War Stories”. I have no idea who Big In Japan are but if they could continue to help James not suck donkey dicks I’d really appreciate that. You guys cool with that Big In Japan?

MP3: UNKLE – “The Answer”

02. Separate Half (ft. Lumerians with Rebecca Coseboom)
At first listen I was sure this was another UNKLE collaboration with LA’s industry darlings Autolux, I’d know Eugene’s voice anywhere I though! But once again I was wrong, this isn’t Autolux and that’s not Eugene singing! It’s some chick named Rebecca Coseboom with some band I’ve never heard of called Lumerians and it’s real mediocre. They’re losing me here.

03. Country Tune (ft. Gavin Clark)
I remember Gavin from “War Stories”. “Country Tune” doesn’t sound country at all. It sounds exactly like what it prolly is, an unfinished scrap from some other UNKLE record. At first I thought my record player was on the wrong speed, but NOPE that’s how James wanted this one to sound. Bummer. Yawn!

04. The Runaway: Lupe’s Revenge (Lupe Fiasco vs UNKLE Reconstruction)
By the time this track rolled around and “Lupe” started rapping, I knew things were NOT going the way I wanted them to. Hey James, it’s 2010 and not only are you white but you’re BRITISH! You have as much business being in the hip hop world as I do in the professional football league. Fuck it, next year I’m trying out for running back for the Los Angeles Raiders!

05. Follow Me Down (ft. Sleepy Sun) (Tim Goldsworthy Remix)
Oh now the dude who ruined The Rapture & brought us LCD Soundsystem (which I’m pretty sure stands for Lowest Common Denominator Soundsystem) is back? Yeah this dude had something to do with the first UNKLE record. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess it was the part that sucked cuz this song should get the Lars’ Dad treatment with DELETE!

06. Heavy Drug (Reprise)
Only six tracks long yet seeing as how I only liked the first one it felt like sixty tracks long. This last one blows too. Dear James Lavelle, call up Richard File and put all that bullshit behind you. You guys need to make some good music together cuz this current UNKLE isn’t working for me. Come on man, drop th ego and pick up the phone. Love,
your fan,
Travis Michael Keller

Axl feels the same way I do James. He’s skullfuckin’ you bro.

MP3: Yuck – “Georgia”

Got this Yuck 45 in the mail from Fat Possum (home to RL Burnside, AA Bondy, Dax Riggs, Digital Leather, The Crocodiles, Wavves and now T. Rex – every record cept “Electric Warrior”) a couple days ago. It’s pretty cool shit, I love getting free cool shit in the mail. KEEP IT COMING LABELS!

Yuck is American shoe-gaze rock that sounds a lot like records that came out in the 90s by bands from Britian plus one of the dudes has a MASSIVE afro (see above and below) so they get bonus points for being weirdos.

Dueling Male and Female vocals, fuzzed out guitars and mad props to My Bloody Valentine, Ride & all those other bands. No new ground charted here, but it’s still pretty cool.

Axl sez:

Check out the video for “Georgia” (Side A) below, check out the video for “The Base Of A Dream Is Empty” (Side B) here and check out the video for some other song called “Rubber” that’s not on this 45.

Yuck – “Georgia”

Yuck – “Rubber”

Yuck’s full length suprisingly titled, “Yuck”, will be out via Fat Possum Records on February 15, 2011. I’m looking forward to it.
Tracklist:
01 Get Away
02 The Wall
03 Shook Down
04 Holing Out
05 Suicide Policeman
06 Georgia
07 Suck
08 Stutter
09 Operation
10 Sunday
11 Rose Gives A lily
12 Rubber

Francis and the Lights
It’ll Be Better
Cantora Records

Hi, I’m Meathead. Travis (of Buddyhead) gave me a stack of CDs the other night so I could write shitty reviews of them here, I guess so I wouldn’t bum everybody out with another stupid cartoon instead. I probably won’t end up reviewing all of them, because I’m not what you’d call “good at following through on things,” but I’ll at least half-ass a few paragraphs about this one so it looks like I’m making an effort and I don’t end up getting fired from this lucrative Buddyhead gig.

I really didn’t know what to make of this album at first. My initial impression was that the dork on the cover, who I can only assume is Francis and I don’t care enough to Google it, looks like some unfortunate hybrid of Beavis and Birthday Party-era Nick Cave. And why is there a clock badly Photoshopped into the picture? Whatever, who cares. Besides, who am I to judge a CD by its cover? I mean, there’s still a chance this could end up being a pretty good album, right?

I think it was probably about twenty seconds into the third song, “For Days,” that I decided that this album sucks. To be fair, that’s better than my experiences with some other bands, I guess. This is one of those stealthier ones that draws you in just enough to hope that there might be at least one or two decent tracks somewhere along the line, but it just gets worse and worse the more you listen until, next thing you know, you’re somewhere in the middle of “Darling It’s Alright” and it suddenly occurs to you (or in this case, me) that what you’re listening to is fucking yacht rock. I can sincerely state that there were a couple of instances in which I spaced out momentarily and then suddenly thought “Why the hell am I listening to the Doobie Brothers?” Most of the songs on It’ll Be Better would be right at home in a Weekend at Bernie’s movie. The synths (yes, there are synths) in the third song, “For Days,” are so straight out of “Sussudio” that Phil Collins could probably sue this guy if it were actually worth his time to do so.

As for the subject matter, all the songs seem to be about this guy admitting to some girl that he fucked up but that if she just gives him another chance he totally won’t be a dickhead anymore. Unfortunately, he’ll still probably be making music like this. A word of advice to whoever is the target of Beavis Cave’s incessant pleas for forgiveness: Get a new phone number (and maybe a restraining order as well).

Honestly, it’s kind of hard for me to knock this album, because for what it is — music for middle-aged white guys who wear Dockers, drive Audis and ask their doctors about once a day Cialis — I guess it fills that niche effectively. If Kenny Loggins is just a little too heavy for your tastes, then I’ll wholeheartedly recommend killing yourself checking out Francis and the Lights. I just can’t help but wonder what would possess anyone saddled with the unfortunate responsibility of promoting this insipid crap to send a promo copy to a website that uses an Axl Rose rating system in its reviews.

Simply put, if you read Buddyhead with any regularity, avoid this record at all costs, despite the incredible allure of its cover. On the other hand, if you read the Wall Street Journal, have been to Aruba within the last year, and think the E*TRADE baby commercials are hilarious, why the fuck are you reading this?

Edit: It’s been brought to my attention that there’s actually a video for “Darling It’s Alright.” Christ.