Remember the days when every little bit of news from The Icarus Line was broadcasted from Buddyhead? Ahh… the good old days. Well today they announced their new record “Slave Vows” (which by the way is the best album they’ve made in a while – I’m very excited) via The Quietus. Well, at least those limeys called em Post-hardcore… ha. Read below and watch the video filmed in Annie’s room. Pretty awesome. Try making a set like that folks.

“Post-hardcore Los Angeles four-piece The Icarus Line have announced that they’ll be releasing their new album Slave Vows (artwork above) on July 1 via Agitated.

Have a look at the first of four teaser trailers below, with the tracklisting following:”

THE ICARUS LINE SLAVE VOWS Part 1

1. ‘Dark Circles’
2. ‘Dont Let Me Save Your Soul’
3. ‘Marathon Man’
4. ‘Dead Body’
5. ‘No Money Music’
6. ‘City Job’
7. ‘Laying Down For The Man’
8. ‘Rat’s Ass’

Although he left New Order back in 2007 apparently he’s still holding a grudge. Hook (aka Hooky. Man the Brits are lazy with nicknames. Just add a ‘y’ and you’re all set!) can’t get over the fact that they’re doing music without his ass! He lost it last week when they played on Jimmy Kimmel in-between their Coachella gigs. Petey tweeted:

“Just seen ‘New Order’ on Kimmel.. Beam me up Scotty… Power, Corruption & Enterprise”.

But dude’s got major balls on this ever since he decided he was gonna be a one-man Joy Division!  Yep, apparently it’s okay to play the music of his departed front-man as Peter Hook and The Light where he plays Joy Division album’s in full and now he’s doing New Order shit too!

Now Hook told Rolling Stone it’s all Bernard Sumner’s fault: “I suppose I should be complimented by the way Bernard is still having these massive personal attacks on me like in the way he had in Spinner, accusing me of refusing to work on the New Order record, Waiting for the Siren’s Call, because I was off DJing. Barney used to do everything on his own anyway. They wouldn’t wait for me. He’s completely mistaken. That isn’t true. They’ve never waited for me since [the 1986 single] “Bizarre Love Triangle.” But I suppose I should be flattered after having New Order back for a year, earning fucking millions, and getting everything that they wanted back –  that they still have to have a stinging personal attack on you every time he has an interview. Maybe he’s missing me, do you think?”

But New Order guitarist/frontman Bernard Sumner sees it differently: “Well, he did that because we weren’t doing anything with New Order at the time. And when he did that, we just thought, “Fuck it. Why are we holding back with New Order?” So we [announced some shows], and he went apeshit about it, but we’d had enough of him by that time. And this is where we’re at now. There’s more, detailed stuff, but we have an expression in England: don’t piss on your chips. And that’s what he’s done. Well, hopefully he’s happier, because he wasn’t happy within the band.”

Like every band that starts fighting, it’s all about the $, and these guys blew so much shit on their Hacienda club, and up their own noses that they all need to save up for the old folks home!

See, Hook wrote a book called  “Unknown Pleasures: Inside Joy Division” where he dishes the dirt about the old goth days. And like the shit-stirrer that he is, he went off on a bunch of people, including The Cure. While discussing a gig they played together he said: “I don’t think the Cure liked us”…”I think they resented us in some way, because we’d managed to stay cool, credible, and independent and they’d, well, sort of sold out a bit… I think they thought, Wish we were Joy Division.”

But old Lol Tolhurst, the dude that Robert Smith shit-canned from the Cure coz he drank so much that he couldn’t even play, has come out of the woodwork and called bullshit! Apparently he wasn’t too drunk to remember the old days!

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He vented on Spinner: “But I understand Peter Hook has a new book out wherein he speaks about a certain 1979 gig that Joy Division supported the Cure at? Well I remember that particular gig too and my memory is somewhat different from Pete’s. See we arranged a show at the Marquee club in London for every Sunday for a month (called it a month of Sundays I think) and picked every band that opened for us. Because we, LIKED them and wanted to help them out. Not for any reason other than that.”

So why does Hook gotta be such a turd? I know, I know, the dude is a post-punk legend. He played a rhythm instrument like a lead guitar and forged a sound that was really groundbreaking. But he’s one piece of the puzzle. It was his collaboration with the other folks in Joy Division and  New Order that made it what it was. Ian Curtis’s funereal monotone and dark poetry, Bernard Sumner’s sandpaper guitar, boyish warble and stream-of-consciousness lyrics,  Stephen Morris the human drum machine, and Gillian Morris’s glacial keyboards are all also crucial components to their sound.

And talking shit about The Cure is weak. They made just as many good albums (if not more so) than New Order.

Do you remember the big body of work Hook had in his side-projects ‘Revenge’ and ‘Monaco’? Exactly. C’mon dude!

And hey, I saw New Order last year, and if I didn’t know any different, I wouldn’t have even known Hook wasn’t there. Sounded awesome and new guy played it just fine.

So Hooky stop with the tell all memoirs, it’s just pathetic and makes you look weak! Just suck it up and go back before it’s too late.

But hey, look at what I’m writing? Why do I even give a shit about this? Hmm. Because I loved these dudes in high school and apparently I can’t let it go either.  Well balls. Guess I’m gonna go play “Love Will Tear Us Apart” and try to move the fuck on!

Peter Hook (wearing his little brother’s t-shirt) & The Light – ‘Ceremony’ and ‘Digital’ live in Zagreb, Croatia – 21/3/13

Bam Margera has had a rough few years. In 2011, he very publicly lost it over his friend Ryan Dunn’s death, which was pretty tough to stomach. You’d think losing your best friend to drunk driving would be an eyeopener for him to get his shit together. But instead, he has doubled down on his shitheadery. Bam’s current hobbies include waking up to a nice breakfast of coke and oxycodone, doing donuts in his Lamborghini, and dressing like Joe Pesci at the end of Home Alone. When he has time in between getting treated for syphilis, he plays in Fuckface Unstoppable, a joke band(?) with his brother, girlfriend, and Brandon Novak. It’s gotten so bad that Chad Ginsburg, the CKY guitarist who looks like an extra on Pirates of the Caribbean, quit the band, saying he couldn’t watch Bam’s downward spiral any longer. That might be a wake up call, Bam. Another wake up call: Steve-O, the Jackass who once stapled his balls to his leg, has cleaned up his act, looks 10 years younger, and now does comedy tours. The comedy sucks but at least he’s less likely to die a horse semen-related death.

Bam Margera’s Reaction to Ryan Dunn’s death

First click play….

The musical genius known as R Kelly just keeps giving and giving to us and inspiring millions in the process. Dude is a healer. He’s given us “Real Talk”, “Trapped In The Closet”, “Girl I Wanna Get You Pregnant” and countless other hits…. now as he drops his second batch of Trapped In The Closet chapters, he also blesses us with this new Trapped In The Closet sound effect website – http://trapped.r-kelly.com/. I mean how else were you gonna burn through all the hours left in today? YOLO!

“Trapped In The Closet” Chapters 23-33

R. Kelly – “Real Talk” (Youtube Exclusive)

R. Kelly – “Pregnant”

“Knock you up!”

To which I say two things; congratulations, and good things come to those who wait!

The announcement came via their website:

“Being in this band for the past 12 years has been a true blessing. We’ve gotten to go places we never knew we would. We’ve been able to see and experience things we never imagined possible. We’ve shared the stage with people we admire, people we look up to, and best of all, our friends. And now, like all great things, it has come time for it to end. Thanks for all of your support, and for being part of the adventure.

My Chemical Romance”

Elegantly stated, but you can’t polish a 12 year turd. Looks like they’ve accepted this fact.

In those 12 years, MCR have put out 4 albums. None of which had a memorable song, or rocked, but all of which reeked of pretension. But they DID have a guitarist who’s hair looked like Larry Fine from The 3 Stooges!

Regardless, workers and shoppers at ‘Hot Topic’ are devastated. They’re flying their ‘Black Parade’ flags at half-mast.

But, hey man, if I want to hear a watered down imitation of Billy Corgan, I’ll go listen to ‘Zeitgiest.’ (Sorry I kinda like ‘Oceania’.)

Perhaps this is a sign that ‘Emo’ is on the decline and is moving out of fashion. And it’d be nice y’know, if at some point in future, dudes who sing, will start singing like dudes again!

Know what I mean? Like it’s okay to be sensitive and be a pussy on the inside, but have some pride and try to belt it out like you do have testicles okay? I’m sorry but sounding like an asthmatic geek who shut his dick in the door does not demonstrate a confident rock frontman. It makes me want to turn into your dad and say “straighten your posture and look me in the eye, what kind of pantywaist did I raise!”

Ok, that was weird, and I’ve wasted valuable time hating on a band who are so inconsequential to music history that when they reunite it’ll be the golf clap heard round the world!

Until then, enjoy the fact that we won’t have to see their stupid faces for a while. Alrighty??

But lately he’s gotten so clueless, it’s beyond sad and just getting infuriating. Yet hilarious.

For those who haven’t been keeping up, a few weeks back, Stone Temple Pilots fired old Weiland.

Why, you may ask? Well he’s still up to his flaky ways! Lately he had the genius idea to do a “Purple At The Core” tour, where he played STP’s most popular albums back to back.

But that crazy Weiland, he decided NOT to do it with STP, but with his new band the Wildabouts! That dude, always full of surprises!

Check out this quote from a recent Rolling Stone interview:

“I’ve been touring with my solo band for a little while and we have a really tight chemistry, and a tight friendship. It became important for me to give them a name, so we went with Scott Weiland and the Wildabouts. It just feels right. We’re working on a rock & roll record. Over the last month we’ve recorded close to 30 songs. It’s really lean and raw, sort of like garage rock.

I though it would be cool to launch a record like that by going out and doing the early Stone Temple Pilots songs. STP were originally supposed to go out and play Core this year. I was really excited and I talked to the press about it, but the rest of the band didn’t want to do it. So I went and talked to agents and my entertainment lawyer and the managers, and we decided to do a selection of songs from Purple and Core, as well as a couple space jams and maybe some covers that will change from night to night.”

Yep, nothing speaks new record launch like playing 2 albums from the 90′s! Oh Scott, brother, you’re killing me! But I bet those space jams are where the magic really happens right? Sigh…

And then he adds this little gem:

“My personal feeling is that we just need some new blood in the band. It’ll give it new energy, so that we’re not just playing the same greatest hits set we’ve been playing ever since we got back together after I left Velvet Revolver. I’d like to make a new record so it breathes new life into it.”

Yep, playing all their old hits bores the shit out of him, but not when it’s for his tour with the Wildabouts. Wheeeeee!!

So you can understand why the rest of the band would be way pissed at him right? Playing their hits while they’re just sitting around scratching their balls?

Well he got what he asked for with the “new blood” comment, cause the band kicked his ass to the curb.

But Weiland apparently “didn’t get the memo”, and seems bewildered by the firing:

“No one has ever fired anybody in STP. We’re like a family. It’s also a partnership. I started the band. We’ve always kept things going. We’ve taken time off before. They’ve done their own projects and I fully support that. No one has been fired and I haven’t quit. That’s all hearsay.”

But if he just checked his (former band’s) home page their official press statement sounds pretty direct:

 ”Stone Temple Pilots have announced that they officially terminated Scott Weiland”

But he remains the eternal optimist, even making plans for their next album. He said this just a few days ago via The Cleveland Scene:

“If we’re going to do something, we need to get back in the studio with Brendan O’Brien, who has a track record with us, and get re-inspired artistically again,” he said.

“We need to do it that way and get out there on the road and get out there with some excitement and not just turn our legacy into what Journey or Foreigner is.

“That’s not what we’re about. That’s not why we got into this. That’s not at all what I’m about.”

The balls on this guy!

Why does Weiland remain his own worst enemy? Since he no longer looks like Skeletor we can hope he’s kicked the hard stuff, but he still likes to hit the sauce! Remember this from a few years back? He sure doesn’t!

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

According to Loudwire.com, he went on a rant at a recent DC concert, musing on the president “He’s just amazing” and Peter Jennings “Peter Jennings is awesome!” That would be was awesome, given the late newsman passed away back in 2005!

Then he commented on his sobriety: “You’re thinking Scott Weiland is on drugs again … no that was 11 years ago, but I still drink.”

Apparently he doesn’t realize that the same things that made him an annoying junkie, make him an obnoxious drunk.

But dude remains completely oblivious and lost in his own world.  But hey, maybe one day he’ll be back in STP, or maybe Velvet Revolver will reunite. Whoo hoo! But until then we can rock out with the Wildabouts!! Who’s excited? Anyone? Yep, no one fucking cares. Space jams!!

Aside from folk revival bands, reunions are the lamest trend in music right now. And really, they’re a lose-lose situation. Whether you’re a fan of the band or not, you’re bound to get fucked. And there has been a lot of fucking going on this year.

On one end, you’ve got bands like Fall Out Boy, a band which everyone with working sets of eyes and ears was glad to have disappear into the musical obscurity of Kidz Bop albums a few years ago. When they announced a reunion, it felt like Mike Tyson’s Punch Out when Piston Honda would wait until the count of 9 and then get up. Stay down, Fall Out Boy. Stay the fuck down for the count so Referee Mario can call a KO.

And on another end, you’ve got bands like Black Flag, a band which, if the number of bars logo tattoos at punk shows is to be believed, is universally admired and respected. Their reunion announcement felt more like when your dad starts wearing designer jeans and you have to smile and humor him about it. When what you really want to say is, “Cut that shit out, old man, you are making a goddamn fool of yourself!”

2013 is still young. Who will be the next band to throw their hat into the unnecessary reunion ring?

Fugazi

Suspect #1. Mainly because when you go out on a high note to take a decade-long hiatus, people start to look in your direction. Especially when your guitarist starts making songs for toddlers about vowels or whatever the fuck. A Fugazi tour at this point would be a clusterfuck to pull off. If the band thinks they can take 10 years off from playing shows and return to play for 300 people in VFW halls and the back of pizza places, they are seriously underestimating how many record-collecting nerds would get their straight leg Levi’s pregnant at the mere whisper of a Fugazi reunion. So unless they want a line around the block of crying middle aged shirtless guys who couldn’t get in to the show, Fugazi would have to play big festivals like Coachella and make fans pay a 7000% markup on their historically $5 tickets. Not to mention they’d have to share a stage with Vampire Weekend or whatever band white people who read Pitchfork are into that week. Fugazi, do yourselves a favor and stay on hiatus.

Minor Threat
While we’re on the subject of Sir Ian, what’s the likelihood of a Minor Threat reunion? Probably not that good. Can’t really blame Ian either. If you were a 50-year-old punk icon, would you want a venue full of straight edge mosh bros telling you about how they don’t have sex because of your songs? Or a bunch of old bald guys trying to swap stories about the 80s hardcore scene?

The Ramones
Fortunately, Marky Ramone has his head buried so deep in a vat of his homemade marinara sauce that he probably doesn’t realize they brought hologram Tupac back to life last year at Coachella. If he ever gets wind of that, we might be looking at Marky drumming “Blitzkrieg Bop” alongside a band full of hologram Ramones. Please no one tell Marky about hologram technology.

The Clash
Here’s another band with an iconic dead member. But since there’s supposedly a Clash biopic in the works, they’d probably forgo the hologram and just hire whatever actor plays Joe Strummer as a replacement. Just like they did with that shitty Germs biopic and the guy from A Walk To Remember who played Darby Crash. Yeah, they really played the Warped Tour with that doofus. That was a real thing that happened. So good luck to James Franco or whatever Hollywood dickbag with a collection of designer CBGB shirts ends up playing Joe!

Jawbreaker
When people bug Blake about a Jawbreaker reunion, he’s gotta be thinking, “Really? You people gave me so much shit about signing to a major label that it basically ended the band and now you want a reunion? Fuck you, I’m a bartending professor now! Get fucked, assholes!”

The White Stripes
Man, this would be tough to pull off. Coordinating TWO people’s schedules? Woah. Let’s be realistic here. Plus Jack is busy being a constant source of human Viagra to the writers at Rolling Stone and Meg is so busy with…um, you know…Meg stuff.

Operation Ivy
Tim probably has enough Garnier Fructis money to never have to do an Op Ivy reunion. But what is Jesse Michaels doing these days? That was a rhetorical question. Jesse Michaels is not doing anything these days. Though he did actually make a surprising amount of sense in an interview about Op Ivy reuniting last year: “We didn’t get big till after we broke up. It feels to me that it would be kind of a shame to take that very pure thing and subject it to booking agents, cuts at the door for merchandise and all that bullshit that goes along with being in a bigger band.“ That sounds incredibly reasonable and rational until the first of the month rolls around and your landlord is asking for rent money.

So that’s it. If you’re broken up, stay broken up. If you’re on “hiatus,” stay hiatusing. And if your band members are dead, for god’s sake do not bring them back to life with technology or celebrity fill ins. Remember: If you went out on the top, there’s nowhere for you to go but down.

The age is now and the time was yesterday. It is at this point in life and time where one can have a mild curiosity one minute and within a few clicks be knee-deep (and still sinking) into a full-on fixation. It’s fitting that this is being written tonight, the Eve of Saint Valentine’s Day, the designated day of all that is to be loved and not lost.

Like all of you readers out there, my first and undying love has been and will always be Music. Like women, music comes in all shapes, sizes, shades, movements, measures, grooves, tones, boogies and beats. You all have Those Songs. Those Songs you want played at your wedding. Those Songs you want played at your funeral. You have the playlist of your Life synced and ready to blast at Full Volume to the world at large.

My heart has been pierced with a downloaded arrow. The sniper’s name is Frank Ocean.

I’ll be the first to admit that when it has come to the massive technological advances of the past two decades, I’m perpetually late to the station when the bullet train of Progress takes off. This time, instead of writing some bullshit record review, TMK suggested that that I write an Ode To Frank. Be careful for what you ask for this is what is oscillating in my ears and my freshly lacerated cardiac cell.

He’s on the radio. He’s played Coachella. He won a Grammy (and a bunch of other awards). Don’t listen to, Never been to, Do not care for. He’s part of the Odd Future Wolfpack? I am a fresh convert, but I am already signed up. On their own, Tyler, Hodgy and Left Brain have not disappointed.

He has a solo album?

Me: Hey man, you think I should get Frank Ocean’s solo jam?

Friend: Yeah, I’m curious about it too.

Done.

Frank Ocean is the 21st Century Nexus of what Morrissey has (to some people’s immense frustration) always alluded to and what Luther Vandross tried to ostensibly suppress (Good reader, I may suspect an eyebrow has been raised as to who Mr. Vandross is and why he is relevant to this spiel. Go to any black household in America and I guarantee you will find several LV records in stock. Or if your intelligence reconnaissance doesn’t go as planned, go ask your one black friend to ask his parents who Luther Vandross is and have him or her report back to you.).

Ol’ Frank’s managed to pull off something that could only happen at this Age of Now: Come out as a gay, write songs about loving other gays and no one trips. With Morrissey, his smart and snarky wordplay has deftly skirted the nagging question of his sexuality for his entire career. Despite his arrogant veneer, Moz might crack one of these days and tell the world, “Fuck it, once in a while, Rob Halford and me like to get together for tea and cruise for dudes.” Or even better: ” Hey man, I’m just playing the part. I’ve been stacking chicks left and right for years.”

Unfortunately, Luther Vandross took his sexual identity to the grave. Even as a child, I remember taking one look at him and thinking ‘I don’t know about this dude’. I also remember he got ripped on fairly often not only for his queerisms but his fluctuating weight. I can’t imagine the emotional pain that guy (and to a lesser degree, Morrissey) had to deal with. It’s one thing to relate to someone’s pain through song(s), but it’s very easy to forget that that artist’s pain is something he or she has to deal with day in and day out.

Hello, Kurt Cobain anyone?

That’s not to say Frank’s floated his way into the mainstream consciousness on a Starburst carpet. By proxy of his Odd Future alliance, he’s part of the notoriously homophobic culture of hip-hop, which in the bigger picture, is borne of the hardly opened-armed homo-tolerant black community (In an interview in Playboy, 50 Cent made it Cristal clear when he said, “I ain’t into faggots, I don’t like gay people around me.”).

That, mixed with the usual figuring out of self that comes along in one’s early adulthood, must have been a hard (but not tough) cross to bear. Not to belittle the gay struggle, but lets be honest, 30 years ago, AIDS was blamed on faggots. Now, you can’t watch anything on television without some sort of gay something (not that there’s anything wrong with that) integrated into a storyline. Sorry gays, most of you can’t get married but your shit has been commercialized on Prime Time (hmm, just like punk rock) to be marketed and sold to just like everyone else. Can’t stay in the closet forever…

But here is where a few forks in road come into view and why Frank Ocean’s place in between those forks should merit your utmost respect.

First off, he’s gay. Then again, so what? Does he want a fuckin’ holiday to go along with the gay pride parade?

Unlike Elton John, Rob Halford, or Melissa Etheridge who didn’t announce their sexual identity until much later in life, Frank did so not only early in life but career-wise as well, which is only on its first (of hopefully many) laps. Even if he did come out without much fanfare, the fact that he did so, when he did so, takes Huge Balls.

Secondly, who is Frank Ocean coming out to?

A racial and pansexual pastiche of youth worldwide born after 1988 (cough, cough and those born before ’88 as well).

Still, no one gives a shit.

His voice, and the music behind it, is moving their collective asses Right Now Dateline 2013. The question of time will tell isn’t up for debate. The recognition and accolades have answered that question without dispute. And to be reminded, he’s just getting started.

Someday (I hope), they’ll discover that which musically inspired Frankie O: Stevie Wonder, Prince, then go deeper with Funkadelic, Curtis Mayfield and the catalogs of awesome that are Motown and Stax.

Channel Orange has been in daily rotation and will not leave so for quite a while. What more can my musical heart ask for? That voice, those songs. Gay or no gay, your marksmanship will be forever appreciated Mr. Frank Ocean.

Just How Retarded Are The Grammys?
Pretty fucking retarded considering the following artists have NEVER won a Grammy: Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry, The Beach Boys, The Byrds, Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Queen, The Who, The Doors, The Kinks, Bob Marley, Sly & The Family Stone, Cutis Mayfield, Parliment &/or Funkadelic, The Stooges, Talking Heads, The Ramones, The Sex Pistols, Guns N’ Roses, New Order, Depeche Mode, Oasis and a bunch more I don’t feel like typing out. Might I add that Bob Dylan didn’t win a grammy until 1973 for some shitty live album and yet Slipknot has won seven Grammys. Justice don’t live here.

Who was nominated the most this year?
Frank Ocean, fun., Mumford & Sons, Kanye West & Jay-Z are all tied with six nomination each.

Who’s hosting this garbage?
For some reason they’ve tapped LL Cool J (for the second year in a row no doubt) to host. Let’s hope Ladies Love Cool J has figured out to either keep his shirt on or to at least use clear deodreant (see LL Cool J’s MTV Unplugged).

What’s the time frame to qualify?
Any albums (that the dinosaurs who vote actually hear about) released between October 1, 2011 and September 30, 2012 are eligible for nominations.

Who the fuck picks the winners?
Members of the Recording Academy who include older professional musicians, songwriters, composers, producers, engineers, art directors, and etc. In other words a bunch of rich, out of touch, geriatric blue hairs. Sweet, eh?

Who’s presenting the awards this year?
Prince (which will be rad because he’s Prince, is prolly going to wear purple, is insane and thinks “the internet is over”), Dave Grohl (the mainstreams go-to rock guy) and a bunch of vanilla people I couldn’t care less about including Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, Nas, Carly Rae Jepsen, Katy Perry, John Mayer, Kelly Rowland, Ne-Yo, Pitbull, Ryan Seacrest, Hunter Hayes, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Keith Urban, Bonnie Raitt, Ellen DeGeneres, Johnny Depp, actress Kat Dennings, actor Neil Patrick Harris, and yada yada yada!

Who’s performing at this shitshow?
I’m somewhat interested to see Jack White, Rihanna and Frank Ocean perform. But as for the rest of the show, if you don’t like seeing people suck live then this show will not be your cup of tea. In the suck category we’ve got: fun., Mumford & Sons, The Black Keys with Dr. John, Taylor Swift, the Lumineers, Carrie Underwood, Miranda Lambert with Dierks Bentley, Ed Sheerhan with Elton John, Justin Timberlake, Juanes, Alicia Keys with Maroon 5 and Kelly Clarkson. T Bone Burnett is the musical director for a tribute to the late Levon Helm, which will include a joint performance from Mumford & Sons, Elton John, Mavis Staples, Zac Brown, and Alabama Shakes’ Brittany Howard… which makes me wonder, is there one or two r’s in diarrhea? Speaking of diarrhea, you can also expect an apperance from a “rock/rap/EDM supergroup” consisting of Tom Morello, Chuck D, Blink-182′s Travis Barker, DJ Z-Trip, and host LL Cool J. That sounds so bad I’m actually looking forward to it. Sometimes you gotta take the bad with the good. Maybe someone will “Soy Bomb” one of these posers!

Bob Dylan Gets Soy Bombed On The 1998 Grammys

When Exactly Is The Grammys?
The Grammys will air February 10, 2013 from the Staples Center in Los Angeles on CBS at 8 p.m. ET/PT. I would guess most of you aren’t dumb enough to still have cable, so you can stream it from their website @ http://www.grammy.com/live.

Which artists get our uneducated votes?
Here’s a break down of my picks for winners in most of the categories. Obviously, I skipped over Jazz, Classical, Chrisitan, New Age, World, Country and all the other weird categories because I’m not educated enough on these lame genres nor do I give a rat’s ass. Anyways, here are my picks! *Spoiler alert* I pretty much just went with Jack White or Frank Ocean as winners for most categories because 99% of the other selections were lame. Sorry but I can only work with what these monkeys give me.

Record of the Year
The Black Keys – “Lonely Boy”
Kelly Clarkson – “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)”
fun. ft. Janelle Monáe – “We Are Young”
Gotye ft. Kimbra – “Somebody That I Used to Know”
Frank Ocean – “Thinkin Bout You”
Taylor Swift – “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”

Buddyhead’s pick: Frank Ocean – “Thinkin Bout You”
This is the big guy award and every song in this category is complete garage except for Frank Ocean’s “Thinking Bout You”. If Goyte’s Police cover (“Somebody That I used To Know”) wins or even worse yet that song by fun., it’ll be nothing short of a vicious crime against humanity.

Album of the Year
The Black Keys – El Camino
fun. – Some Nights
Mumford & Sons – Babel
Frank Ocean – Channel Orange
Jack White – Blunderbuss

Buddyhead’s pick: Jack White – “Blunderbuss”
I’d be ok with Frank Ocean’s “Channel Orange” too but there’s really only like four solid songs on that record so I went with Jack Gillis on this one. For the record, fuck fun, fuck The Black Keys & yes… fuck Mumford & Sons.

Best New Artist
Alabama Shakes
fun.
Hunter Hayes
The Lumineers
Frank Ocean

Buddyhead’s pick: Frank Ocean.
Frank Ocean should have this one on lock cuz lets face it, he’s the best. Plus letting any of these other bands win would be about as fair as a bare knuckle fist fight with Mike Tyson.

Song of the Year
Ed Sheeran – “The A Team”
Miguel – “Adorn”
Carly Rae Jepsen – “Call Me Maybe”
Kelly Clarkson – “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)”
fun. ft. Janelle Monáe – “We Are Young”

Buddyhead’s pick: Fuck, let’s just hope ANYONE but fun. wins.

Best Rock Album
The Black Keys – El Camino
Coldplay – Mylo Xyloto
Muse – The 2nd Law
Bruce Springsteen – Wrecking Ball
Jack White – Blunderbuss

Buddyhead’s pick: Jack White – Blunderbuss

Best Rock Song
Jack White – “Freedom at 21″
Mumford & Sons – “I Will Wait”
The Black Keys – “Lonely Boy”
Muse – “Madness”
Bruce Springsteen – “We Take Care of Our Own”

Buddyhead’s pick: Jack White – “Freedom at 21″

Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance
Anthrax – “I’m Alive”
Halestorm – “Love Bites (So Do I)”
Iron Maiden – “Blood Brothers” (live)
Lamb of God – “Ghost Walking”
Marilyn Manson – “No Reflection”
Megadeth – “Whose Life (Is It Anyways?)”

Buddyhead’s pick: Who else was surprised to learn that these bands make records in 2012?

Best Urban Contemporary Album
Chris Brown – “Fortune”
Frank Ocean – “Channel Orange”
Miguel – “Kaleidoscope Dream”

Buddyhead’s pick: Frank Ocean – “Channel Orange”
Let’s hope Frank Ocean beats out world class douche-bag Chris Brown here. Nothing like calling a someone a faggot, punching them in the face, threatening to shoot em and then having them mop the floor with you the next week at The Grammys.

Best Rap Album
Drake – Take Care
Lupe Fiasco – Food & Liquor II: The Great American Rap Album. Pt. 1
Nas – Life Is Good
The Roots – Undun
Rick Ross – God Forgives, I Don’t
2 Chainz – Based on a T.R.U. Story

Buddyhead’s pick: 2 Chainz will work but honestly I couldn’t care less.

Best Rap Song
Nas – “Daughters”
Wale ft. Miguel – “Lotus Flower Bomb”
Kanye West ft. Big Sean, Pusha T & 2 Chainz – “Mercy”
Drake ft. Lil Wayne – “The Motto”
Jay-Z & Kanye West – “Niggas In Paris”
Wiz Khalifa & Snoop Dogg ft. Bruno Mars – “Young, Wild & Free”

Buddyhead’s Pick: Either way Kanye’s gonna win this shit but I’m really rooting for “Niggas In Paris” just so I can see how the presenter says the title.

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
Florence and the Machine – “Shake It Out”
fun. ft. Janelle Monáe – “We Are Young”
Gotye ft. Kimbra – “Somebody That I Used to Know”
LMFAO – “Sexy and I Know It”
Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa – “Payphone”

Buddyhead’s Pick: Picking a winner here is kinda like selecting which knife someone is going to stab you with… either way it’s really gonna suck.

Best Alternative Music Album
Fiona Apple – The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do
Björk – Biophilia
Gotye – Making Mirrors
M83 – Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming
Tom Waits – Bad as Me

Buddyhead’s pick: Soundgarden.

Best R&B Album
Robert Glasper Experiment – “Black Radio”
Anthony Hamilton – “Back to Love”
R. Kelly – “Write Me Back”
Tamia – “Beautiful Surprise”
Tyrese – “Open Invitation”

Buddyhead’s pick: R Kelly better win this one! I’m gonna come clean, I haven’t even heard this R Kelly album but you know it’s fucking killer cuz this is the dude that created “Trapped In The Closet” and who talked his brother into going to jail for him after he got caught on video peeing on underage girls. Dude is always winning.

Ok, that’s all I’ve got… post your pick in the comments if you feel so inclined. But keep in mind, if they don’t match up to my pick exactly they’re wrong.

Love you,
Travis Keller

By John Guerra

Started December in the right way in the wrong place: Orange County. Not particularly fond of that section of Southern California, but if that’s where the gig (and slightly more important, a band worthy enough to drive out of my way for) is, then that’s where it is.

A band that has been on my radar for a while is Icon Of Phobos. Although they are local to here in Los Angeles, they were opening up for a band called Kommandant down in Fullerton. This will be my first time seeing them perform live as their self-titled first record did not leave my rotation for several months. While most black metal bands tend to stay stylistically and musically linear in their approach, Icon Of Phobos paint shades of gray to their sonic palate which not only sets them apart from their peers, it also adds a feeling of claustrophobia that intensifies the density in their already dense songs.

Visually, a good chunk of focus goes to their vocalist. For what he lacks in stature, he more than makes up for in presence and a voice that can rattle even the most damaged of eardrums. Cloaked in a crimson robe, he could remind you of the singer of Ghost, but as the set progressed, the only mask he wore was one of blood. What they project with sound, he is projects in vibe; a coalescence that makes for an experience not to be taken lightly or easily forgotten.

Check them out:
www.facebook.com/iconofphobos
www.banefulgenesis.com

Switching gears (sort of), I checked out the MellowHype/Trash Talk/Antoine/Rotting Out show at the Echoplex. An interesting mix of people for an interesting show. Mostly kids, but what was cool was the punk kids were digging on the hip-hop as much as the hip-hop kids were digging on the punk. (To add another twist, the heavily tattooed DJ was wearing a Morrissey shirt as he was bumping everything from BDP to Biohazard). The singer of Rotting Out summed it up perfectly. “When we were kids, all we knew was punk rock and hip hop.” Like I said, the majority of the crowd were as equally well-versed with N.W.A as they are with D.R.I. Blond girls with beanies on their heads, Latino kids in slim jeans waving their hands in the air like they just didn’t give a fuck and slightly older types laying low in the back wearing shirts ranging from Bathory to Devo. To further illustrate this cultural/musical hodgepodge, after Rotting Out’s righteous set of metallic skate punk, a lone rapper named Antoine comes out wearing a vintage King Diamond shirt! I was really excited to see Trash Talk. Their latest, 119, has been on steady rotation and they did not disappoint. Even yours truly got whipped up in the frenzy (hence the not so focused picture). 36 and still in the pit! Fuck what ya heard!

I’ve always been leery of seeing hip-hop shows live for the simple reason they NEVER PLAY THE WHOLE SONG!! But I was pleasantly surprised with MellowHype. To be honest, I only know of them through their part of the Odd Future thing. Since that Odd Future Vol. 2 (along with Death Grips) promptly blew me away and got me listening to hip-hop again, I had to check it out. Again, times done changed when rappers are stagediving more than the punks and seriously threaten to fuck up the security (which was weird considering the amount of weed those guys were smoking onstage). They got they crowd hype and the girlies shaking their booties. Sweaty and stinking of blunts, isn’t that what a punk-hop/hip-rock show is all about?

www.trashtalkhc.com
www.oddfuture.com

Saw Goatwhore and Lo-Pan instead of the Power of the Riff Festival going on a mere 2 miles east on Sunset Blvd. Cool show, odd scene. The venue has two floors with two different shows going on. Downstairs was the black-clad, possibly stoned, eventually drunk metal types and upstairs was a dance club catering to fresh out of high school kids who couldn’t dance all that well who eventually stumbled and stuttered out the club coked out of their heads. To see one crowd eye the other was amusing. I didn’t remember much of the first band that I saw aside the fact they had a guitar tech. Touring bands at a certain level, I totally understand. A local opener? That is a No Bro. The fact that he had to walk around the crowd to bring the freshly tuned guitar to stand there and wait for the song to be over just added the absurdity of it all. A bit of advice: Save what little money you have and tune your own gear. Lo-Pan. Big dudes, Big sound. Straight up (albeit tuned low) Midwestern rock n’ roll that has groove. Many a beer were raised in approval. Which brings us to Goatwhore. I’ve really enjoyed their last two records, Carving Out The Eyes Of God and Blood For The Master. They were tight as tight can be and left no doubt to their slaying capabilities. It’s worth noting that Goatwhore’s guitarist, Sammy Duet, started out in Acid Bath (a great band also featuring Dax Riggs, whose music if you’re not already familiar with, you should get into sooner than later) and is underrated as a guitarist. Like his work in Acid Bath, his playing can go from heavy to haunting within a flick of his pick. Goatwhore are the Real Deal Evil Shit.

www.goatwhore.net
www.facebook/page/Lo-Pan

Back to Orange County? If I must, then off we go.
High On Fire, Corrosion Of Conformity and Goatwhore (again)? Oh Yeah!

Caught the last few Goatwhore songs but was fully set for COC. Their self-titled latest album has yet to fully sink into my ears, but hearing those new songs live hastened that process very quickly. What sucked was how unresponsive the audience was. There was C.O.C kicking it hard and aside from a few bobbing heads, they were met with blank stares and mild applause. This might be expected for a weekday show at a small club but this was a Friday night in a good sized hall with no shortage of metal enthusiasts. Hmm… The latest High Of Fire record, De Vermis Mysteriis, has not disappointed longtime fans and along the way converted more than a few new ones. Again, most of the crowd was simply not engaged. Even Matt Pike couldn’t help but notice the lack of energy from the audience. What a bummer. Strike 2 Orange County.

Last show of the month and the year was Peter Murphy doing an entire set of Bauhaus. Unfortunately, it was at the same place where I saw High On Fire two weeks earlier. Again, the crowd sucked! (scoping out the aging goth types did provide a tinge of amusement. Ladies, velvet is a more forgiving fabric that leather.) Despite Peter Murphy’s apologies for his choppy speaking voice, he was nailing it for She’s In Parties, Bela Lugosi’s Dead, Dark Entries, Stigmata Martyr etc, etc. With a solid set of musicians backing up Mr. Murphy, they performed a great set of classic tunes from a classic band. Now, if the audiences of Orange County can come to life when a band comes to town…
I would rather stay home.

Until next month.