Bat For Lashes – Two Suns

June 25, 2009 • By Ted Jahng

bat for lashes - two suns

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that Natasha Khan gets boned by Smurfs. Hobbits, too. And I think that pervert Lancelot used to court her. Again, I could be wrong about all this. But I was listening to the lyrics on Two Suns, Bat For Lashes’ second album, and those are some of the conclusions I’m drawing.

I’m not exactly sure when New Age soft rock became indie-cool, but I guess it’s never too late to get your ears fucked-over by a music trend.

Guys! My aura is purple!

Nostalgia-inducing music like this is like watching The Karate Kid on mute and blasting Stevie Nicks and fucking (not sure if I mean the verb or the adjective here) Yanni at the same time. Now, it’s clear from the accolades thrown Bat For Lashes’ way that there is an audience eager for this experience. People who cry when it rains will dig this. So will people who twitter things like, “I just ate the most amazing organic peanut butter sandwich, which reminds me of the innocence of childhood–pure bliss!”

When I hear Tatts On Gashes, I get waking nightmares of Natasha Khan riding that flying dog from The Neverending Story. But if you want dubiously tasteful Gwyneth-Paltrow-dinner-party-music that you can nod your head to in the elevator at Nordstrom’s, or just a peace-offering for Echo, the loopy pot dealer whom you owe a lot of money, you have good reason to politely shit your pants and go ga-ga over this album. This is trendy music, and that’s not necessarily a crime; but it’s aggravatingly bland, and it’s corny as shit, too. And that deserves a beat-down from the Cobra Kai:

CobraKai

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34 Responses to “ Bat For Lashes – Two Suns ”


  • Kate -- Jun 25th, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    Man, this review is trying WAY too hard.

  • zaxxon galaxxon -- Jun 25th, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    is this chick lilly allens doppleganger? dumb name too i think a better name would be hippy scum

  • ev -- Jun 26th, 2009 at 12:24 am

    Bat for Lashes sounds like Tori Amos. Nuff said.

  • Ted Jahng -- Jun 26th, 2009 at 12:41 am

    how can a “review” try too hard? stop being lazy, kate.

  • Rachel -- Jun 27th, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    This sounds more like a “Yo Mama” fight than an actual review….

    Bat For Lashes is one of my favorite artists… and if you’re gonna bring her down at least do it eloquently, with substance and objective.

  • Ted Jahng -- Jun 27th, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    you’re not allowed to lecture me on eloquence anymore, rachel. it’s “objectivity”. and criticism is never objective.

    p.s. are you implying i wrote this like a black person? dangerous, rachel, dangerous… please refer to our michael jackson editorials for racial understanding and more “objective” criticism.

  • Frandy -- Jun 28th, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    This chick totally looks like Lilly Allen. Her name should be Bats for Allen. It is some kind of government human cloning experiment gone totally wrong.

  • ian brown -- Jun 29th, 2009 at 8:45 am

    i dont even know who this is but if she is into elves and magic and the universe and supernova’s and carl sagan and the silmarillion and laying naked in the woods and writing poetry i would hang out with her. doesnt mean i wanna listen to her music though. adult contemporary indie rock is the way to go guys if you wanna sleep your way to the top of the social ladder.

  • Leonard Nimoy -- Jun 29th, 2009 at 9:46 am

    Wow. Does Buddyhead ever get to review an album they like?

  • little joe -- Jun 29th, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    how can this band be taken seriously.? this review nails it. how confused do you have to be to consider this good music (though I suppose the incense and dragon books crowd will love it)? the sound of those first few tunes remind me of the lame white kid dream-catcher phase of the mid-90’s.

    of course, this crime is just another in a long line of “OMFG you have to check this band out they’re totally awesome, OMG, OMG!” perpetuated by some blogger who then drops the band 15 seconds later when the next “big thing” hits their desk. sorta renders the initial OMG reaction completely invalid.

    what needs to happen is Future Of The Left opens for this band, destroys the audience and the concert is then over. next town next show let’s go

  • jojo deluxe -- Jun 29th, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    heh. “Gwyneth-Paltrow-dinner-party-music”. thats pretty much how im going to describe this sortof shit to people, i usually can’t articulate it properly. thank you!

  • Ted Jahng -- Jun 30th, 2009 at 12:27 am

    little joe: future of the left’s new album is cool shit.

    jojo: my pleasure.

  • ian brown -- Jun 30th, 2009 at 6:31 am

    i listened to it yesterday and think it sounds like bjork and enya. it’s pretty safe music. there were two suns i believe in the original star wars movie on that planet luke skywalker was from. maybe they were moons. shit man i dont know. i cannot wait until enigma comes out with a new record…

  • rich lather -- Jun 30th, 2009 at 7:52 am

    yeah luke was from tatooine and they were suns ,this chick should be tossed into the sarlac pit or at least made to do battle with the rancor

  • ian brown -- Jun 30th, 2009 at 7:56 am

    i agree. boba fett should have been spared for her instead. or she could at least replace princess leia on the next barge they make for one of jabba’s offspring. the universe is bullshit meroki.

  • julian -- Jun 30th, 2009 at 10:11 am

    i like to think the fett man’s rocket pack kicked back in and he made it outta there unharmed.

  • Kate -- Jun 30th, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Ted – trying way too hard to be funny. Not buying it.

  • doc aquatic -- Jun 30th, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    Kate – trying WAY too hard to be cunty i am buying it

  • Kate -- Jul 1st, 2009 at 11:50 pm

    Better figure out how to take criticism like an adult, hup hup hup.

  • Steve McQueen -- Jul 2nd, 2009 at 6:39 am

    Kate got date-raped while this album was playing in the background. Lay off, ok?

  • Ted Jahng -- Jul 2nd, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    papa smurf isn’t returning your calls, huh, kate?

  • R.Flores -- Jul 2nd, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    I have never in my life listened to this singer/songwriter girl, but I know some people that probably do and it’s a shame that they are the type of people that would post “OMG I just tried this delicious west-indian tea yesterday and had the most peaceful sleep I’ve had in years.” in their status update of whatever social networking site they frequent the most. This is probably Spiritual Hipster music that gets played in “cool” coffeshops in “alternative” districts around the world and so I’m pretty sure that anyone that remotely likes getting something new from the records they buy woud buy this one. Just a thought.

  • nope -- Jul 16th, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    your terrible at doing piutchforks job for them, not saying this album is great but it feels like you might should get on yer skinny bike and go ride thru the night with all your terrible skinny bike friends. I’m sure there is a god awful dinosauric rock band playing a dive bar in the valley that your missing right now.

  • M -- Jul 16th, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    This website, buddyhead, is obviously for morons who dont have the best taste in music. A site where these folks can come together in a circle jerk to shit on talented young and fresh music together simply because THEY DONT GET IT. Buddyhead. a website for fratboys to come to to find out what the opposite sex is listening too. For god sakes, you got fame in the 90’s cuz of limp bizkit. Why would you even consider talking about them? That would be like today, Pitcfork reviewing a Doughtry record for the sole reason of trashing it. Whats the point? Wasted energy.

  • MADStacks -- Jul 16th, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    Naw man, this record sucks. It bores much like the Anne Frank Diary. Yeah, if you rock this in your passat you think it’s the shit, “doing something different.” Fuck that, if anything has a “disco remix” attached to a single it deserves to eat jewish pigs. This shit should die, the alt Natty Merchant with beats shit justifies domestic violence.

  • Jason -- Jul 17th, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    Fuck yeah! Buddyhead is back and I couldn’t be anymore happier. I’m fucking tired of pitchfork.

  • Michael Jackson -- Jul 18th, 2009 at 8:58 am

    I’d give her hot milk and cookies.

  • Chloe -- Jul 22nd, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    dear buddyhead,
    as i’m reading this review, the little advertising banner is telling me to go see bat for lashes play live at the nokia theater. what should i do? i want to have your opinion, but i am also heavily influenced by outside advertising.

    sincerely,
    your confused and adoring public

  • sonia sotomayor -- Jul 22nd, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    What did your interview at Vice not go as planned?

    “tatts on gashes”? wow. how long did that one take?

    I agree, stop trying so hard, youre probably a nice person who is just trying really desperately to fit in with the other assholes.

    and get out of the music critic/comedy game. it dont suit you.

  • Ted Jahng -- Jul 31st, 2009 at 4:52 am

    how long did “tatts on gashes” take? obviously, you’re not a lesbian. just a didactic pussy.

    judge sonia, no one likes critics of critics, especially those like you who referee like soccer moms on comment boards; you’re like the internal affairs of the cultural world–everyone hates you!

  • G -- Aug 16th, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    i gotta say, saw her live at 930 this weekend. completely invalidated the whole new agey assessment.

    also, bjork begs to differ in opinion.

  • 89vision -- Dec 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm

    “It bores much like the Anne Frank Diary… if anything has a “disco remix” attached to a single it deserves to eat jewish pigs.”

    Get out of here with that anti-Semitic bullshit, you fucking Nazi. Quit waiting for Buddyhead to review your favorite skinhead band, lace up your combat boots and get back to trying to blow Hitler’s rotting dick.

    Anyway, I haven’t checked out Bat for Lashes yet. I figured if Buddyhead agreed with all the hype then maybe there was something to it… Alas, this is clearly not the case and you probably just saved me some valuable time.

  • Matthias Schneeeburgurrr -- Dec 30th, 2009 at 8:12 am

    So many great cusses and witty repartees here I don’t know whether I dare to contribute, but here’s one piece of info that escapes too many people too much of the time… you don’t HAVE to agree with the reviewer. It’s okay to make up your own mind and not feel obliged to go into full-blown defensive-aggressive mode. I liked Ted’s review but ain’t gonna stop listening to Two Suns. Well, I might. Sure, it gets a bit yawnsome after about track 5 but sometimes that cheesy sentimental crap is just what ya need… even if it is wrapped in a slightly gay Lord of the Rings-y package. I’m no dinner party dork but sometimes you need a break from listening to Converge.

  • Joseph Stalin -- May 14th, 2010 at 2:27 am

    Dude, Hitler’s dick was cremated!

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