Bieber, Bauhaus & Bottles Of Vince Neil Vodka!
So looks like the Bieb is making his dream of becoming Jacko more and more into a reality. Dude got busted at the German border for trying to bring a pet monkey!
Yep, German health officials are detaining the Kapuchin (named Mally) because the Bieb failed to obtain a health certificate.
So in addition to being a spoiled twerp who thinks the world revolves around him, he’s also a dick for trying to keep a monkey for a pet. Yeah, monkey may enjoy drinking some Cristal with his bananas, but what’s gonna happen to Mally if Bieber keeps having this meltdowns, loses all his $ and turns into MC Hammer? Mally’ll be in stuck in some lab or be miserable in some animal sanctuary. C’mon PETA, step up and spank this turds ass good!
Think I’m exaggerating? Last month he got booed for showing up late to a concert, had to go to the hospital for breathing difficulty, got in a brawl with a photographer and may be prosecuted by the LAPD for allegedly spitting on a neighbor! Yup, he’s on his way to Has-been land. I’m sure Dr. Conrad Murray is stoked about possibility of a future client!
Hey Las Vega$ peeps, vacationers, gambling addicts and future CSI victims! For those of you who don’t have a life, you’ll be jazzed that Motley Crue will have a residency at the Hard Rock Hotel from Sept 18th-Oct 6th.
It’ll be sweet to hear Vince Neil sound like a mosquito on helium, Tommy Lee to rotate his drum kit so you can see his junk, Nikki Sixx to pretend like he plays bass, and Mick Mars to carry the whole band on his shoulders. Cousin It is the only dude pulling his weight!
Oh yeah, did you know that Neil is all excited about his new line of Vodka? Yeah, pretty classy for a dick that killed his friend Razzle and injured others in a DUI to peddle booze. Well played douche! But he had another DUI in 2010 so it’s all good. At least nobody died that night!
And speaking of DUI’s; Goth-father Peter Murphy got busted a few weeks back in CA for alleged hit and run, DUI and possible meth possession. But dude looks to be in good shape, coz his bail went from $500,000 to $0 and he just gets a misdemeanor charge. Good for Petey, coz his ass would not last long in the slammer!
Last time I saw Pete in concert, he was acting a little goofy, so maybe its just early senility. Funniest part was Mr Undead Vampire was driving a Subaru Forester! Kind of a bummer I know. I always pictured him fluttering around like a bat or driving in a hearse. Which he may need if he does another hit and run!
So if you see a balding dude in a Subaru and he’s blasting Bauhaus, get the fuck out of the way, or you may be pulling a Bela Lugosi…