TURBONEGRO BRING ON “THE DUKE OF NOTHING” AS NEW SINGER !!!

we’ll see. as I said to someone else, it couldn’t possibly be worse than this new band Hank Von Helvete’s in.

[...] After former lead singer Hans Erik Dyvik Husby split with Turbonegro in 2009 (to pursue acting and Scientology), we were pretty sure we’d heard the last from the so-called “despots of deathpunk” (we’re not sure we’d describe their sound as “deathpunk”, it’s more of a cross between Stanley Kubrick’s film A Clockwork Orange and Guns N Roses album Appetite for Destruction). But we were wrong. The band has recruited former Dukes of Nothing frontman (and part time plus-size Burbury model)Tony Sylvester and they’re hard at work on a new album. (Buddyhead) [...]

Tony, welcome to Turbonegro.  You are going to be the best addition to this band in years.  Filling the shoes of Hank will be easy and having some class is awesome.  Being honored and humbled is a sign of a man who has his affairs in order and the right mindset to join the awesome group of guys Turbo is composed of.

Below is a long time awaited rip on Hank who has deserved being formally and publically “spanked” in front of all to reveal who he really is.  A big turd.  Translated to other languages, A big shit, a load of crap and full of crap.

Hank Von Helvete is a big turd.  He is a cry baby and should be sucking his thumb.  His new band forgot that you have to actually have some talent to make it.  Being some stuck up wanna be tough guy who shoots dope in front of his girlfriends kids is not “cool man” and all the years the band had to put up with his cry baby bullshit is pretty taxing for all parties involved.   But like with all hogs, hogs get slayed and Hank is one of those kind of people that fit this description to a tee.  ” put lipstick on a pig and you still have a pig” and this poseur mentality he has carried for years has hindered Turbonegro more than it has helped them.  I hear his new band sold a total of 15 records.  Way to go Hank.  Give it up, grow up , get a hair cut and a job and for gods sake get off the dope as it makes you a doper, not some eccentric tough guy wanna be superman.  One can only take so much of Hank’s bullshit.  Being on methadone and shooting dope in between is not being clean.  Do figure this out before you croak and keel over as being obese, arrogant, a “has been” is not appealing to the music world nor to the authorities in Norway who have to always rescue your dumb ass and make sure that the kids of your women are not watching super star Hank shooting dope and passing out with a donut in your mouth.   Truth be told, many people carried this lump of crap for years as he did not carry the band like he thinks.  The band carried him.  However Hank is now at the point of no return.  He can live in his “has been” state and live off of this for years.  People both in high places and high people in low places are tired of his bullshit.   He comes from a nice family and portrays them as evil and as losers in his  mind.   That is truly disgusting.  Hank has a theory like most losers.  that his tough life has been everyone elses fault, spoken like a real loser.  He is not for real and not someone I want to have in my presence.    He got into the limelight in Norway with the play “jesus christ superstar” and this alone was an insult to playwrights and entertainment people all over the country of Norway.   Hank has used people, taken advantage of people, abused his friends to the point of no return and then has the audacity to turn around and blame them for not helping him enough.  So this sounds a bit angry?  perhaps it does, but it is high time someone tells it how it really is.   Hank is sitting in his state paid apartment, after having shot up all of his fortune up his arm and cried to everyone how tough he has it.  How he was abused as a child, which is all nonsense and a load of crap.   Hank is a cry baby and so selfish he cannot see past his own obese body he is not some super star.  If it were not for the band, his many friends in both high and low places he would have been found on the side of the road in a dumpster with a needle in his arm.  This whole facade of his being a newly found scientolgist is also nonsense as he does not practice their way of life.  Why would he have a scientologist “babysitter” travel all over the world with him at the bands expense?    Being on methadone is NOT being clean.  Truth be told, chances of you ever getting clean are slim.  How dare you shoot up dope in front a small child?  You were not raised like this.  You grew up in a nice home and your parents did the best they could.  Shame on you.  Many people, from the great motorcycle people in Oslo to your friends and family have bent over backwards to save your ass so many times it is disgusting.  
However the truth is that Hank never grew up and is still some poor child who sits and feels sorry for himself and cries and whines like he was a two year old.  Yes you can go on like this, but the pool of friends you had is getting smaller by the day.  You are needing to grow up soon and behave like most decent people and take some responsibility for your own dumb ass.  You see Hank the dope makes you think you are some messiah of punk rock and these delusions can be treated with rigorous honesty and actually getting clean as well as admitting you are going no where and you are truly powerless over your own self.  It is time to get clean and wake up.  Somewhere in you lies the real truth, but we are all tired of the lies, the bullshit and the idea you are some great contribution to society and to music and the arts, which is in fact an insult to most and the few who idolize you are apparently as sick and full of it as you are. 

Finally if you think you are going to go out as a Jimi Hendrix, Brad Nowell or Kurt Cobain then know that a month after you pass no one will have remembered who you were.   That is the truth.   Time to grow up and get a job and work for a living and pay start by paying back all the people you have F-cked over.   I know you can do it, but methadone is not the answer to your issues.   Some therapy and some real honest to god hard work will free you from the dope.  You wanna be a tough guy?  Ok then lets see you get clean and learn some basic manners and how to exist in the world as a regular guy.  Then I will agree you are getting tougher.    You can start by making apologies, when you are clean of course otherwise it is just the whining of some loser who takes no accountability for yourself.   You have become the typical leach on society and “milking” every ounce of fame you could extract from the great band of Turbonegro, which you were a part of.  However your notion that you are Turbonegro is funny and insulting to the other band members.   Also taking credit for their hard work and reaping the benefits of this, it a shame and an insult to all of us.

Hank ….you need to be spanked and sent to your room for a month or two and not be allowed into any place except a treatment center, where you chances are slim as it is up to you, not the world.  And stop blaming everyone for your pathetic excuse of a life.    I have been a Turbo fan for years and I know deep down that you are a parasite and nothing but a loser.   What have  you contributed to society other than listening to yourself talk and spew garbage?   

um, he’s contributed a couple of the raddest records ever?

Perhaps so.  I deleted some of my angry email and I thank you for pointing out that he did in fact contribute to the albums over the years.   However there is a lot to be desired.  

I’ve heard a bit from his new band. I am, suffice it to say, less than impressed.

I’m looking forward to hearing new stuff from them. Usually I’m not really into bands who change singers but in that case, it might work…

we shall see. the guy’s a legit Turbonegro enthusiast, so maybe he’ll fit.
and I mean, Hank wasn’t their first singer, he was just the most important one.

[...] for 2nd place. Hostess Laura Leigh will be there as well as guest contest selector London’s Tony Sylvester (in town to play Santo’s tomorrow as the new vocalist of Turbo Negro! yes, Turbo [...]

[...] for 2nd place. Hostess Laura Leigh will be there as well as guest contest selector London’s Tony Sylvester (in town to play Santo’s tomorrow as the new vocalist of Turbo Negro! yes, Turbo [...]

[...] com o Tony Sylvester (Dukes of Nothing), mas eu queria pra caralho que eles tivessem me chamado pra [...]