Better hide the bacon and the cake frosting cause Black Francis and the Pixies are gonna be rolling through the US soon. Kim doesn’t fuck around when it comes to food either, what The Pixies call deli-trays look more like buffets to us. Frank and co. are just playing the album Doolittle + some choice non- album cuts from that era, collecting the cash and DESTROYING every donut shop on this tour’s route. We’re stoked these dudes and dudette have the presence of mind to know that they peaked 20 years ago and aren’t trying to Trojan Horse us with new material (aka “bathroom breaks”). Take notes! We’re looking at you Pavement. Don’t blow it.
Ok, so we reported on the new craze among gothic-dorks who wack-it to those retarded Twilight movies: Werewolves. Yeah, as if attending public school wasn’t hard enough to start with, these nerds are just cranking the “PUNCH-ME” knob to 11 by wearing animal contact-lenses, black lipstick, tails, and ONLY goth costumes sold at Hot Topic. We’re not sure who this Josh character is, and we’re suspicious this video is a joke, but, if it is real, he sounds pretty fuckin’ cool! High five for the Van Helsing nuke you dropped on this spoiled little brat. Our heart goes out to this selfish little perma-virgin brat’s mom who prolly worked her ass off to buy him that video game, only to watch it get thrown into the woods for Sasquatch by her only freaky offspring.
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What’s up with rich white kids always needing a reason to cry about how hard their lives are? Your life isn’t hard, in fact we can’t
believe it’s only Josh that’s fucking with you… if you attended the schools we did growing up, people would be forming lines to punch the wolf outta you. Also, way to rebel by emulating the most crass and shallow movie franchise in popular culture! Kids these days are digging really deep for their subcultures it seems.
Attack Attack! reportedly have a new record coming out soon and they were kind enough to let it stream online at their myspace page. In an unrelated story, the CIA reportedly has recently discovered a new interrogation method and expects to learn the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden by Father’s Day.
The new Attack Attack! record is self -titled. Slick move dudes, that’s the same as telling people twice not to buy your record! Fair warning! The cover of this packaged audio-rrhea features a dead body floating face-up in a lake. Surprisingly, we took a poll of music fans and 100% of the people who weren’t retarded that we asked said that they would rather actually be that dead body than have to listen to this new Attack Attack! album. We just can’t wait to see if they can make a music video worse than that last one they did (here).
Speaking of sucking, why are the Stone Temple Pilots back? Not being a band seemed like such a better move for those guys. Can someone show the guys in “STP” the place where the needle snapped off on the irrelevancy meter the day that their comeback album was released? Seriously Weiland, fuck this sober shit! Get high to deal with how lame you are. Rock n’ roll rule #234: no frat guys allowed in bands. If you were EVER in a fraternity then you’re not allowed to rock. Sorry man, that includes you Scott.
People in England love Adidas jump suits so much every single person is issued one once they are old enough to walk (and kick a soccer ball). Those Brits have no idea how ridiculous they look in these jumpers for some reason, it’s fuckin’ weird. The year Gang Of Four and New Order played Coachella, every member of both bands was decked out head to toe in Adidas We’re gonna blame it on all those soccer balls to the heads growing up. So point is, Adidas makes crazy loot off these rotten teeth having Gremlins over in England. So much loot in fact that they remade Star Wars with Snoop Dogg, Noel Gallagher, Ian Brown, Ciara, Jay Baruchel, Franz Beckenbauer, David Beckham, Daft Punk and a few other people that are only famous on that gloomy little
island.
The original GILF, Blanche from the Golden Girls is dead. RIP Old Girl, you gave elastic-stretch pants a good name.
So this is still happening somehow. Yep, new Korn video. Sick bass tone as always Fieldy, good thing to know those first 8 albums weren’t a fluke, you really know how to make that baby fart. In case that drummer in the back looked familiar to you, you might be recognizing him as the former drummer for none other than “Diamond” David Lee Roth. Tell you what dudes, fire that dork and hire this drummer and we’ll talk:
Yes, we found the best drummer in the worst band, world meet Steve Moore. This dude has to be a complete fucking psychopath cuz otherwise why would he be in this lame ass cover band? Check out his website http://maddrummerinc.com/ & his drumming DVD titled “Over The Barrel”, Travis has a birthday coming up on July 6th… I think you know what to do!
So everyone is shitting themselves over some boy/girl duo called Sleigh Bells, which features a dude who used to be in Poison the Well and a chick that sang in a girl band that was around for less time than the average menstrual cycle. if you haven’t heard Sleigh Bells consider yourself blessed cuz these dorks make Crystal Castles sound like Portishead circa 1994. Just try and imagine the whitest hip hop beats coming out of a shitty boom box sold at Radio Shack, recorded by the cross-eyed bass player of Korn with a Fisher Price toy microphone dropped in the center of the room with one of the Spice Girls singing in the background. Yes, the entire album sounds like that. We are about as amused with this shit as The Dude is with The Eagles.
So apparently that river-pig Robyn is still out there murdering the Swedish tourism industry by opening her mouth -
This shit sucks worse than having to do math. This chick has been reinventing pop lameness every other year for the last 15, this year she’s doing a potpourri of Lady Gaga and MIA. If there was a place called Hell, Robyn’s tunes would be playing in the elevator down there. Someone needs to grab this chick and slap the yodeling out of her. Slapping girls is ok, right?
We’re not entirely sure this isn’t a hoax but supposedly a bunch of “famous women” are doing a Steel Train cover record:
. A Steel Train COVER record? That must because Steel Train has sooooo many fucking CLASSICS? Oh, wait, no. Dudes, you’re letting Tegan and Sara cover you on a record? That’s like asking O.J. Sipmson to portray you in a movie. Also, who keeps turning on microphones in front of Scarlett Johansson? Probably the same people who let her husband be in movies.
Someone got Kanye West to stop crying “You’re Still Number 1, Man” into the mirror by reminding him he hasn’t pussified hip hop with a new cut in like a year. His new song “Power” supposedly “leaked” last week and for some reason people seem to think it’s good. How do we know? Cuz people keep sending the track to us to listen to, people are funny sometimes. Look here are Buddyhead’s rules with rap music… unless the message of the song is along the lines of “Fuck The Police”, “Cop Killer” or any of
the topics Ice Cube covered on his first three records we don’t give a fuck about some millionaire rhyming over toy keyboards, an auto-tune chimpmunk chick singing a chorus and a three second loop of music!
Lowest Common Denominator Soundsystem have a new record coming out this week, which means it’s Christmas if you work (for free) at Pitchfork. It’s just another Tuesday if you’re anyone else. If you consider yourself an LSD Soundsystem fan, pat yourself on the back for keeping medicore music alive! It’s like bad techno without the good drugs, what the fuck is the point in that?
Hawthorne Heights also have a new record coming out, which means it’s Christmas if your mom is also your sister. Bada-bing!
Danzig took a break from lifting weights in his front yard (while listening to Danzig 1 & 2) long enough to record a seventh Danzig record that he’s calling “Deth Red Sabaoth”. Apparenty Glen is about as good at spelling as he is at catching punches, check out the new music video from the album’s first single “I’m A Short Comic-Book Nerd, Watch Me Get Decked!”
So apparently lots of people are convinced Michael Jackson is still alive and he faked his own death to clear his name from the child molestation charges and he’s now making a movie that will show what a joke the media is, who’s really in control of the government and how easy it is to score a shitload of pills. We’re mainly concerned with that last part.
Unless your name is Michael Jackson, you will never be this high!
Speaking of drugs, it looks like we know what Scott Ian’s drug of choice is: the shaking heads and disappointed looks of disgust Anthrax fans give to him as he repeatedly and incessantly attempts to destroy that band’s legacy. First it was was Vh1′s I’d Fuck the 80′s, then it was teaming up with Jurassic poops like Sebastian Bach in the supergoup “Savage Animal”… I mean, “Damnocracy”. Now it’s teaming up with fucking FALL OUT BOY for “The Damned Things”. Yep, another supergoup with “damn” in the title! Can’t wait to see if lightening sucks in the same place twice!
We’re hitting the road for a little rock n’ roll up north in Toronto next week for the North By North East music festival. There will also be an official Buddyhead NXNE Showcase featuring some of our favorite rock bands around, Travis will be DJing a few parties and also stalking Mudhoney as well as Iggy and The Stooges!!!! By the way, who looks like who? Does Mark Arm looks like Iggy Pop or does Iggy Pop look like Mark Arm? If you’re gonna be in Toronto that week make sure you come to our show, bring us some Canadian greens and check out our sizzling HOT line-up below! We’re doing Canada right, finally!
BUDDYHEAD NXNE SHOWCASE!
Friday June 18th, 2010 @ The Great Hall
(1087 Queen st. w)
8p Simone Felice
9p Avi Buffalo
10 AA Bondy
11p John Doe & Exene Cervenka
12a Mini Mansions
1a The Icarus Line
How about that? We gave you two Gossips in a week! Looks like all you Negative-Nancys in the last week’s comments are dead wrong. Either lightning does strike twice sometimes or we just happened to give our crack pipes a rest this week. Now you an0nymously angry bears in the comments can tell us exactly how a fat-dick-sandwhich tastes!
Like Buddyhead? Wanna keep us alive? Wanna support the cause? Well the best way to do that is to buy merch from our store @ http://www.buddyhead.com/store or Pre-order the Buddyhead / DVS shoe for $55!
