Amanda Palmer is the most beautiful and original snowflake in the whole wide world!

Posted by Meathead on May 9, 2010 at 9:37 pm

Hi, I’m Meathead. In my semi-lucid essays here on the Buddyhead website, one of the most frequent subjects of my unmitigated annoyance is the ever-present, attention-starved pseudo-artist (wow, lots of hyphens today). You know, the Marilyn Mansons, the Lady Shitheads and the Ke$has of the world who crave constant pats on the back like the rest of us crave bacon. Delicious, greasy bacon. The ultimate life goal for these people is to be noticed, and while they may put on the pretense of being “all about the art,” in reality, the actual substance of what they do runs a distant second to that itchy, burning need to be famous at all costs. Their philosophy is that if they simply act famous, people will fall for it – and, sadly, it works more often than it should.

Considering how squarely Amanda “Amanda Fucking Palmer” Palmer fits into the “attention whore” category, it’s a little surprising to me that she hasn’t been mentioned on Buddyhead up to this point. Better late than never, I reckon.

Wait a second… what’s that noise I’m hearing all of a sudden? Sounds like a gaggle of Amanda Palmer fans furiously pounding their keyboards to tell me how wrong I am, how dare I disparage such an under-appreciated genius, I obviously just don’t “get” her, and other songs from the same album. She is an artist and therefore deserves our respect. Right?

Well, without digressing into a la-de-da bullshit dissertation on the true meaning of art, the basic, most literal definition of “artist” is someone who creates or manipulates material for aesthetic purposes. It doesn’t mean the results of his or her endeavors have to be good, or interesting, or useful in any way. So, if you want to split hairs, then sure, Amanda Palmer is an artist. Just like Chad Kroeger of Nickelback and the guy who draws Dilbert are artists. I guess you’ll have to pardon me if the mere status of “artist” doesn’t move me to awestruck deference.

“But Meathead, Amanda’s different from them! She has Artistic Integrity™! She opened for NINE INCH NAILS!”

I’m aware that there is a market for eccentric female singer-songwriters who have some sort of tenuous-at-best association with Trent Reznor, and now that Tori Amos has apparently gone feral and is currently wandering around the forests of northern Canada terrorizing small and mid-sized woodland creatures [citation needed], it was only a matter of time until someone else showed up to fill that giant, estrogen-soaked void she left behind. I guess they (whoever “they” are) put an ad for the position up on Craigslist, and Amanda Palmer was the first one to respond. One of the perks of the job is that it comes with a legion of clingy, emotional fans who do shit like make tacky gifts for you and bring them to meet-and-greets so you can pretend you give a crap and then have one of your roadies toss the macrame angel wings or whatever the fuck into the nearest dumpster after the show. (Just kidding, I’m sure Amanda doesn’t really do that.) According to her Wikipedia page, Amanda is (drum roll…) bisexual, into meditation and other Buddhist stuff, had an abortion as a teenager and even got date raped once! She’s also into pescetarianism, which I was disappointed to learn has nothing to do with Joe Pesci, but is basically just being a vegetarian who eats fish too. Congrats, Amanda! You’re hired!

Now, I’ll be fair, I’m not going to say that Amanda Palmer is entirely devoid of talent, à la Crystal Castles. The Dresden Dolls, although they weren’t really my thing, weren’t terrible either. But then, somewhere along the line, not content to share the spotlight with drummer/only other band member Brian Viglione, she went from Amanda Palmer of The Dresden Dolls to Amanda Palmer THE STAR. How does one make such a transition? By acting like a star! And how does one act like a star?

One of the quickest shortcuts to showing the world how free-spirited and bohemian you are is to take your clothes off at any available opportunity (note: applies to women and Marilyn Manson only). Sure, maybe it sets gender equality back a decade or three in the process, but it sure is easier than busting your ass and doing the work required to create something of actual substance. I would add that her penchant for disrobing in public isn’t particularly helped by her apparent boycott of the Gillette corporation, but that would obviously make me sexist. I mean, how dare I criticize her hairy pits while she sexually objectifies herself? It’s worth noting that the revolting photo on the right (minus my tasteful censorship) was actually posted on Twitter by Ms. Palmer herself. It’s not like it was a private picture that someone leaked maliciously. She actually wanted people to see it. Because there is no God, her nudity isn’t limited to Twitter, either. The revolting photo below was taken at one of her live shows, which I thank the nonexistent God every day that I was not attending.

Speaking of live performances, here’s a video of Amanda and her “posse” covering the hit Rihanna song “Umbrella.” Of course, by “covering” I mean “spazzing out on stage while the original recording plays over the P.A.” But just look at that stage presence! Watch her gyrate and pantomime with her pink toy guitar! Die a little inside!

If all that getting naked and “covering” Rihanna songs still isn’t doing the trick, or if the train to superstardom simply isn’t moving fast enough, there’s always Plan B: marry up. Find someone else who is already rich and famous, single (preferably), and has a large, loyal fanbase, then glom on to him and tell him all about how you’re soulmates, destined to be together for eternity, or whatever other crap you have to say to get that ring before anyone can say “pre-nup.” Then, once you’ve got him, milk that shit for all it’s worth while it lasts! Obviously I’m referring to Amanda’s new soulmate, author Neil Gaiman, who is practically deified amongst comic nerd circles. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure their love is real and special and transcends time itself. But it also got her into the Golden Globes! How convenient!

Wow, Neil, you lucky dog! Hang on to her, she’s a keeper!

Oh, I guess I should also mention at this juncture that Amanda Palmer is as crazy as the proverbial shithouse rat, just in case you hadn’t picked up on that already. Mind you, I don’t mean “crazy” in the “wearing funny hats on occasion” sense of the word. More like “picking up some homeless guy and then pretending to be his conjoined twin” crazy. Because that is what she is doing.

Evelyn Evelyn is her current bullshit “art” project, in which she and former (and future) busker Jason Webley call sloppy seconds on Tim Burton’s perpetual rape of Edward Gorey, dress up as Siamese twin girls named Evelyn and Evelyn Neville and sing ironically cute songs about how they were sexually abused. As if that isn’t mind-bogglingly stupid (see also: crass, tasteless, inappropriate) enough, Amanda has cranked up the schizo-meter to 11 by talking at length on her blog about the fictional girls as if they are real people, even going so far as to fabricate an entire back story about how she and Jason allegedly came in contact with them. Jesus Christ.

I was going to quote the entire story, but… screw that. If you’re actually curious enough to want to read all that dreck on Amanda’s blog, be my guest, but for the rest of us, here’s the Reader’s Digest condensed version:

jason webley, my awesome friend and endlessly touring minstrel-comrade, and i found the twins on myspace, about three years ago.
we were on tour together (jason was opening up for the dresden dolls) and working away on our laptops on an off day…i think we were in new zealand.

we were both emailed the link to their page at around the same time. mine came in through the dresden dolls’ fan address.

[Blah blah blah blah blah]

they have similar personalities, but if you hang out with them long enough, you’ll notice that they’re actually quite different. they were christened “eva” and “lynn” at one point in their lives – but they strangely like being referred to by the same name, in a sort of weird solidarity, i guess. so they both go by the name “evelyn” -

[Yada yada yada]

and over the course of our little recording, we finally got to know them.

well, WE didn’t. they had real problems warming up to jason. they were freaked out (seriously) by his beard and didn’t want to talk to him very much.

they could handle me a little better because i was a girl.

But wait, there’s more! Evelyn and Evelyn have their own MySpace, Facebook and Twitter pages, and a graphic novel (which I’m sure Neil Gaiman will have absolutely nothing to do with) about the fake Evelyns’ fake lives is even in the works. They have already released an EP, called Elephant Elephant, and are currently touring (EPICally, of course) with this shit. For real. According to Amanda’s blog, this is what one can expect while attending the live show:

-doors-
a short set by JASON WEBLEY
a short set by AMANDA PALMER
a short set by SXIP SHIREY
-intermission- (GO BUY MERCH!!)
an hour-long set by EVELYN EVELYN
-end-

So not only do we get a full hour of fake conjoined twins singing new wave jingles about birth defects and child abuse, but as a bonus we can enjoy the haunting accordion sea shanties of Jason Webley, Amanda Palmer probably taking her clothes off some more, and “Sxip” Shirey, whoever the fuck that is. What a deal! And don’t forget to buy a t-shirt so you can get your ass kicked later!

Hey Amanda, a couple pointers: 1. We all know the “twins” are you and Jason in costume. We’re not retarded. Seriously. You can drop the act. 2. This is something crazy people do. Not the “cute” kind of crazy, but the “you should be in a fucking mental institution getting electroshock therapy because whatever medication you’re on just isn’t working” crazy.

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http://twitter.com/toweleeeie Towelie

First post. W00T!
http://twitter.com/toweleeeie Towelie

By the way, I’m sick of Meathead moaning on the Trannies and Tranny Music in general.

Some of us like to suck a dick bro. Sup? OK, it might be small and tastes like chicken but it does the job.

Jesus. Apologies for sounding agro.
not cool

this article is very disheartening,not because she’s such a crazy, pathetic bitch, but because neil gaiman actually is a superb writer, and jason webley, although he’s pretty much just a blatant tom waits rip-off/wannabe,does a pretty decent job at it and puts on a very unironic and entertaining live show (or it could be I just thought so because I was hammered when I saw him, but that’s the way I remember it at least),and it sucks anytime someone you have any level of respect for as an artist shows pretty strong signs of having shit-for-brains or being a real dickhead in their personal life.
http://defyauthority.net Lauren

I’ve been hoping meathead would go off on her like Nick Nolte on PCH (and PCP); thank you, dude.
still not cool, but

actually, revision to that last comment. gaiman still barely gets to slide on this one and narrowly avoid my celebrity dickhead list, for the sole reason that he’s a comic book dorkus, therefore possibly,even with some amount of fame/ wealth, barely ever gets laid and doesn’t know any better than to take whatever poon happens to pop up, even if it’s super-nasty, diseased freakshow poon, so I could totally see this bitch coming in and getting all dominant on his nerdoid ass. But still, I’m watching you neil, one more slip up like this and you go straight to the dickhead list,buddy…
anon

classy
http://www.sxipshirey.com sxip shirey

Oh come on now… “whoever the fuck he is” that’s the best you can do? If your going to be asshole you can do better than that! I just know you can! I believe in you!
Nick Taxidermy

much as I love Gaiman’s stuff, you can’t give him the “never gets pussy” slide, because the guy is, along with Alan Moore, one of the biggest rock stars in the comic field. dude must be knee-deep in tang.
blake

ha ha former and future busker…funny/true. such an attention whore, glad you wrote this.
XIAN

Yeah, I too think/thought Neil could have/has had just about anybody he wants/has wanted. So of course this bit of news is making me re-think how “clever” and “smart” I think/thought he is/was.

Anybody know where Amanda lives and where her trash can is located? Might be a telling excavation what empty persciption bottles you could aquire there.
http://jonathonmoxon.blogspot.com Jonathon

She also had a spot on the less than notable ‘True Colors’ tour a few years back, opening for Cyndi Lauper and singing to a crowd of disinterested fags, her music clearly too ‘dark’ for that audience.

Thanks for writing this!
Amber

Googling her As we speak
0_o

Remember when you wrote about nine inch nails for a “living”??
Yeah, that was back in the days before buddyhead became pitchfork with more swearing.

Seriously, dude, you can do better than this. This isn’t me defending Amanda Palmer (in all honesty, pretty much all your points….ESPECIALLY those on the evelyn evelyn project, are totally valid) but just saying…you’re getting kinda lazy.
http://twitter.com/toweleeeie Towelie

Fuck you 0_o. You piss me off more than that 19yo Bud idiot who went off on me.
:D:D

This was funny Although, all entertainment value aside, it’s really rather pointless as trolling. I mean some anonymous wannabe music elitist with the nick “meathead” slags off a musician with a strong touring and work ethic, who constantly engages in new projects and operates on a pretty much DIY basis. And you attack her personal life and relationship as well. Basically you’re an anonymous internet whiner, talking shit about a person you don’t know at all.

I’m not saying that everything Ms. Palmer has done is great, in my personal opinion the first Dolls-record was great, the second was good, No Virginia was pretty bad and her solo album was just bad. The Evelyn Evelyn-record was a fun listen but not something I’d go through again, and the backstory or concept or whatever ís pretty retarded. I can’t really say one thing or another of her fans though, the whole concept of fandom’s always been pretty weird for me, I mean if you like the music that’s fine, but being obsessively into a musician/whoever, it’s just odd.

As said this was a fun read, but with all the jokes aside(loved the former/future busker ) it’s just being a shithead towards a person who really doesn’t deserve it. I mean I guess Marilyn Manson had it coming but still, this one’s a bit lame.
tania cinque

what i love about this article is that it’s forcing amanda palmer freaks to say, “well, she’s stupid, but what you’re saying isn’t very nice!” in the most passive aggressive way because they know meathead is right.
j

hahah. i dig her but some of the shit she does is so goddamn cringeworthy. i totally did die inside while watching that youtube clip, i had to cut it off.

she played some club here awhile back and my friends working at the venue said that she spent half the show “twittering” to people in the crowd.
Steph

The first Dresdens Dolls album is great, Half Jack is a choon. She should probably shave her pits though.
sicksix6

Jesus christ. Why, Neil? Why? You can do soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better.
Bob Vila

Meathead,

Do you take requests? If so, please nuke the following materialistic douchetards:

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/109509/a-dating-site-for-apple-fans-only?mod=family-love_money
BVA

I heard this wretched bitch talking on the radio once about all the different ways she exploits her fans, like auctioning off shit from her apartment. But I had no idea how truly repulsive she was till now. Thank you Meat Face.

She also gets extra demerits for taking Panic at the Gay Bar (during their screamo phase) on tour with the D. Dolls.
jesperson

@ :D

you are a fucking turd. seriously. if meathead is an “anonymous internet whiner” than what the fuck are you? If Meathead is so insignificant than why the fuck are you COMPELLED to comment? Ever hear of turning the other cheek? Personally, i think all of meathead’s posts are pretty funny- this site is for entertainment after all- and clearly you are a turd.
Franky Burner

I’m so glad I haven’t heard of one person mentioned in this article.
:D:D

Fuck you jesperson :D:D
jesperson

nice comeback. I’ll keep laughin my ass off at meathead’s scathing commentary, and you just keep on crying that he’s making fun of your favorite bands. works for me. turd.
http://www.e6townhall.com Amanda Palmer

Ever heard of libel? My lawyer has. You’ll be hearing from her.
tyler

suing Buddyhead is a great career move, looney tunes.
tyler

I should have used a different term than “looney tunes” to say psycho because Looney Tunes makes people happy and plays a positive role in society
bunkbedpirate

ever heard of self-deluded theater dorks? you’re their mascot. god i hope that’s actually her so this can become exponentially funnier. this retarded bitch should be MANNING the counter at a fucking hot topic. it’s amazing that this kind of ridiculous, pretentious non-art is even allowed to escape the mall.
Amanda Fucking Palmer

thankfully i don’t let the attention whore stuff bother me. i know that the work i am doing to change the music industry is worth it. it is a heavy burden to bear while also trying to be a touring musician and auction my garbage online and be edgy and shocking and pretend to care about my fans and post drunken naked photos to twitter to promote my art.

one of the ways i am changing the music industry is by using something called electronic mail or “email” for short. those of you who aren’t as industrious and revolutionary as i am probably don’t know how much work “email” can be, so i have written a blog post that laboriously details each “email” i sent today.

i know that some of you are thinking, did this take up a lot of time that i could have used to create my ironic art? yes. but i ask you, is it not ironic art to waste so much time on a blog post that is about having no time? yes.

you can see how much hard work i have to put into being a musician who runs her own life and business (with a staff of managers, agents, business managers, assistants, sycophants, assistant sycophants, hangerson, and clueless fans who are willing to be exploited without pay) just by reading my long and exciting blog about how to use “email” and “file” things. maybe you can learn something.

be mindful. i am reinventing the music business. soon everyone will be using “email” to do their work and to run their own life and business. sharing this kind of information is the WORK that has NO NAME but it gives me an incredible sense of accomplishment as an artist.

i enjoy the smell of my own bullshit and want you to too. love me, look at me, love me, look at me.

xxx
AFP
Imnotsure

oh she’s an easy and i mean EAAASYY scapegout for everyone everywhere, things hav to be proper and she doesnt cut that shit. hysteria
:D:D

@jesperson

Fuck you :D:D
Evelyn Evelyn

My cat’s breath smells like catfood.

Mine too!(i’m the other Evelyn!!!)
sicksix6

@Amanda Palmer (who is most likely a fan trying/failing to put the fear into Meathead, but for the fuck of it I’ll address you as if you actually are Amanda Palmer):

Come ON! First off, did your lawyer advise you to advertise the fact that you are planning on bringing libel charges against Meathead? In a fucking public webpage comment section no less? If so, you have a shitty fuckin’ lawyer. Maybe a real lawyer should explain to you what constitutes libel. A false CLAIM has to be made. Observing the behavior of an individual and publishing an article commenting on how fucking retarded said behavior is does not constitute libel. If Meathead published an article that made a false claim like oh, I don’t know, maybe “I know for a fact that Amanda Palmer tortures, fucks, kills and then eats babies!”, then THAT would be libel.

Of course the fact that you are not Amanda Palmer totally negates all of that. Nice try cunt face, but you are fail.
reggie

This horrendous creature went to my high school about 6 or 7 classes ahead of me and still visits town on a regular basis. I have had the unpleasant experience of serving her coffee (I work in the town center), made so because she is so eager for attention being that she is so full of herself. I find it hard to believe that she has any fans, but then I recall the whiny over-emotional drama kids I went to high school with and realize who her base is.
bungbungmothafuckas

Frances Bean Records with Amanda Palmer

http://www.spin.com/articles/frances-bean-cobain-records-amanda-palmer
Barry

Amanda Palmer is an exceedingly huge hypocrite.
The Cellist

Luke Haines also wrote a song called Leeds United. His song is better.
plasmatron

back in 1999 i had sex with with jason webley’s roommate.
her vagina smelled like armpit. many beers were involved.

fuck man, i really hate hippies.
JimmyC.

Plasmatron, I hear ya. Sometimes they just can’t all be winners.
Amanda Palmer

I like the way my own balls smell.
Sean

Excellent article. In fact, if the names were changed, I would think it was the game plan Trent Reznor’s wife used.
Pingback: Tits or GTFO | BUDDYHEAD
Lindsey

The thing is, AFP isn’t that famous. She’s very rarely on the radio. If you don’t like her you can ignore her! If you don’t want to see her tits, don’t go on her twitter for them. She didn’t get air time at the Emmys, just a passing mention on some sites. If you don’t like her… don’t look stuff up about her! It’s actually pretty simple.

And, in her defense, that dress is gorgeous. It just… needs a slip under it.
Lindsey

Whoops, I meant “Golden Globes” when I said Emmys.

Also, in defense of her auctioning things, her entire solo album, the videos that went with it, and the tour were financed with her life savings. Her record company wouldn’t pay for her productions or promote her, but they wouldn’t drop her (thusly letting her get the money from her works). And because she was getting no money from the company she had to ask for money. She passed her hat at show and auctioned off some sundries.

From her blog: “TOTAL MADE THIS MONTH USING TWITTER = $19,000
TOTAL MADE FROM 30,000 RECORD SALES = ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.”
Lindsey

Whoops, I meant “Golden Globes” when I said Emmys.

Also, in defense of her auctioning things, her entire solo album, the videos that went with it, and the tour were financed with her life savings. Her record company wouldn’t pay for her productions or promote her, but they wouldn’t drop her (thusly letting her get the money from her works). And because she was getting no money from the company she had to ask for money. She passed her hat at show and auctioned off some sundries.

From her blog: “TOTAL MADE THIS MONTH USING TWITTER = TOTAL MADE THIS MONTH USING TWITTER = $19,000
TOTAL MADE FROM 30,000 RECORD SALES = ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.”
Laura

lindsey, get a fucking clue. her label paid for her album, according to their contract. she does not dispute that.

just because you fell for her latest twitter-squeeze of fans to (let me guess) pay her rent?? (as if!) don’t go around lying and implying her label defied contract or didn’t cover what they were obligated to cover. she never said that. go back and read what she said and then smell the bs. send her an email if you still doubt it. i hear she gets and replies to a lot of them?
Mest

Amanda Palmer has made a deal with the devil in order to get her precious “fame.”

Palmer is marrying into one of the biggest Scientology families in the world. Neil Gaiman is a Scientologist and is underwriting Scientology. The Scientologists listed Gaiman in the Cornerstone Newsletter along with his current business partner and ex-wife Mary Gaiman, as contributing $35,000.00 in 2009.

Being listed in the Cornerstone Newsletter means you are in good-standing with the cult.

In 2010, Mary Gaiman was awarded the “Gold Humanitarian Award” for her contribution of $500,000.00 to Scientology (Minnesota Ideal Org). This is significant because Mary Gaiman is Neil Gaiman’s business partner in The Blank Corporation, which is now Neil Gaiman’s Scientology front and how he pays the cult.

Gaiman is also the “Vitamin Heir” of Scientology. The Gaiman family owns G&G Vitamins which reaps 6 million a year from selling The Purification Rundown Vitamins.

Gaiman’s two sisters, Claire Edwards and Lizzie Calciole are not just high-ranking Scientologists, they are the head of RECRUITING and the head of Wealden House, the Scientology stronghold in East Grinstead. These two cannot associate with Neil unless he is in good standing.

Amanda Palmer would not be allowed anywhere near this royal family of Scientology unless she was also a Scientologist or has enetered into some kind of Scientology contract (they have 5 or 10 year contracts for cross promotion and “marriage”).

So, to add to Amanda Palmer’s hypocrisy, she is a “bisexual” who is marrying in a family that underwries a dangerous cult that supported Prop 8 in CA, the law that persecutes gay people.
Mest

Ps. You are about to be trolled by craploads of Scientologists. And as far as libel goes… the burden of proof is on the celebrity, so lets say you call Amanda Palmer a skanky whore and there are shit loads of pictures of her all over the web being a skanky whore…. she has to prove she’s not a skanky whore, basically. There’s also a statute of limitations in libel. So it has to be a never before voiced slur and I’m afraid it’s a well documented fact that Amanda Palmer is a skank and an attention whore, untalented and a hypocrite, so don’t let the clams get to you!
http://none Lola

Actually Neil was always a geek & dork. Married a fat, ugly woman. Got divorced. Never got many girls before his marraige (why he married the fat & ugly one. Still can’t. Comic book guys, sucessful or not usually can’t relate to the oppisite sex well. If you ever had a conservation with him (and were an attractive woman) you’d know. He is still that guy in high school with tons of zits, fat, in band etc. Being a comic book writer is not something women give a shit about too much. Mainly guys are into graphic novels. His fans are mostly guys and a few unattractive girls, but no hot babes. He doesn’t appeal to them. He doesn’t get the twilight chicks. Amanda Plamer IS the type he attracts. He has gone to some Hollywood parties I have been at. Sat alone and no one spoke to him. It was kinda sad & pathetic. But graphic novels have kinda seen their day and his novels haven’t been comercially sucessful. That is what brings in the hot chick, being commercially sucessful, of sexy, self-confident. Not afraid to speak to you. He;s quire boring personally. I can see him with her. Think she is exactly his type. Never read his stuff, just seen him around town here & there and think they fit together.
Yatri

No, Neil can NOT do any better than Amanda Palmer. He is only allowed to socialize and coexist with another Scientologist. They control his life, his mind, his relationships and probably his bowels.
Cindy

Amanda, you are so dull and boring. The only way you are changing the music industry is by adding your malignant tumor of cancerous growth which eventually will be cut out, burned and radiated…..
No one will remember you, but they may…. recognize your putrid smell when near the trash or dump sight.
http://4rightchords.wordpress.com Amber Waving

Oh, how I love a good Amanda rant!

I used to be a fan. I think her solo album was her best work, and one of the best albums of the year of its release. But her behaviour is just so disgusting, I stopped being a fan.
You missed out on mocking her comparison of Gaga’s videos and the KKK. Thankfully, I too have ripped her a new one recently.

http://4rightchords.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/how-amanda-palmer-killed-amanda-palmer/
Pingback: How Amanda Palmer Killed Amanda Palmer « Open 'Til Midnight: Musings of a Music-Obsessed Mind
http://n/a Caligula

@Amber Waving
No one gives a fuck about your menstrual blog, try selling that shit elsewhere, a twlight forum maybe…
Lil Kay Kay

I HATE HATE HATE when people yell at the critic , “WELL WHERE IS YOUR MASTERPIECE?” Guess what, I don’t have to be a cartoonist to know that family guy is complete shit, and MEATHEAD doesn’t have to be a musician to know that Amanda Palmer’s need for attention outweighs her talents.
g-raffe

My only disappointment with this article is that Meathead missed the fact that Tori Amos & Neil Gaiman once had a connection, which is further proof AP is trying to fill Tori’s shoes. Pretty sure her hooking up with Neil was a condition of the aforementioned Craigslist ad. Heh.
Lilith

Amanda Palmer is terrible, ears-bleedingly terrible. Her technical lack of ability is obvious and she’s apparently too arrogant or narcissistic to bother learning her craft.

Even as a performance artist, Amanda Palmer is irrelevant. What statement is Amanda Palmer trying to make? She looks like a refugee from an 80′s goth club with her dopey corset and goofy eyebrows. Why is a bisexual feminist blatantly selling sex? (A weird choice given her hulking physical appearance…) What’s the difference between what she’s doing and porn?

So far, Palmer has participated in the same self referential navel gazing that any manufactured pop product tries to pass off as art. Although she attempts to market herself as alternative she is devoid of anything other than raw ambition.

Amanda Palmer is hands down, the absolute worst performer I have ever seen. Her lyrics are thoughtless, her voice is off key and she appears to be technically tone deaf. I find it amazing that someone with as little talent for music as Palmer, would continually seek to fail at her craft.

Fools like Palmer can intrude themselves on the Internet as they desperately try to claw their way to stardom, but spin is not the same thing as talent. Palmer is talentless, gold-digging trash.
DeclineToState

THANK YOU! I have been a good friend of Neil Gaiman for many years, and just can’t believe he is with this twat! When I met Amanda I expected to really like her. I thought she’d be nice, quirky and loveable, but HELLZ NO! I could tell immediately that she is a manipulative, back stabbing throat stepper. PLEEZ Neil, don’t get Heather Mills-ed by this woman!!!!!
reeblite

meathead, never read you before, but i love you for calling this talenetless cling on out.
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Anonymous

Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman are so “in love,” they make sure there’s a verbal description or a photographer snapping a picture of every “intimate” moment.

Break-up with innocent drummer boyfriend selfishly exploited on AFP’s blog? Check!

Publicity campaign of Neil and Amanda posed together cooking in a fake kitchen, as farmer and wife, in a bathtub, on a roof, making a tossed together film, on stage together, in a poster, in doll form, etc, ad nauseum (all within 6 months) released while their ex’s try to figure out WTF’s happening? Check!!!!

Naked sharpie pics of Palmer sexted to Gaiman released on the internet? Check!

Engagement with a sharpie? Check! (Yeah! There’s a photographer there, strangely!)

Engagement breakfast? Check! (I think the photographer sleeps with them).

Hairy, naked strip show on the ONLY red carpet these morons will ever see? Check!

Pictures of bathroom at the awards show? Check! (classy)

Boring description of upper level seating at Oscars (where the tag-along writer of optioned material Gaiman was seated so he wouldn’t bother anyone) while twittering? Check!

Mock Marriage ceremony on the street? Check!

Scientology mock wedding ceremony at Chabon’s house! Check

Sex life of your fiancee detailed in Spin article? Check!

Fiancee having private break down moment about doomed career detailed in Spin article?

Check and publish!

The only aspect of their relationship they’ve edited was the disgusting Cabaret artwork of Gaiman giving Palmer head. Maybe at their annual Scientology board meeting, er, I mean intimate talk they decided to keep that one all to themselves.
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- Laura
  
  What a revolting, addle-headed skank Amanda Palmer has become.
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RaeWyGen

Just because your tits are shithouse. No really. It's awesome you have ideas, and thanks to de netz you have a way of sharing them with the world. As a fan, I disagree with everything you've said. I also think you can turn anyone's life into a stereotype.

But hey, you write well, and have a great argument. Anyway. I only came to this after typing "tits or gtfo" into my search. So thanks! Procrastination works! Now I'll get back to banging my keyboard in an attempt to shit off the neighbours.

Yours truly,
another knob with Internet and a computer.
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Randall

Right on. Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman belong to a cult that opposes free speech and free movement. Scientology runs prison camps for its members, litigates enemies into silence and is responsible for suicides and suspicious deaths worldwide. Gaiman grew up being audited and intimidated himself and is used to lying. He may not even realize he’s a hypocrite. Scientology persecutes gay men and woman, by supporting Prop 8 in CA along with so many crazy scams and crimes I can’t list here.
- Vaehl
  
  I… I can't tell if this is sarcasm or you're just batshit crazy? You're good.
Mest

Gaiman and Palmer are Scientologists and, like Moonies, they make weird contracts with each other, which they can later "re-up" or dissolve as Nicole Kidman and Cruise did.

Neil Gaiman is underwriting Scientology. The Scientologist’s list Neil Gaiman in the Cornerstone Newsletter along with Mary Gaiman, as contributing $35,000.00 in 2009. Being listed in the Cornerstone Newsletter means you are in good-standing with the cult.

In 2010, Mary Gaiman was awarded the "Gold Humanitarian Award" for her contribution of $500,000.00 to Scientology. This is significant because Mary Gaiman continues to be Neil Gaiman’s business partner in The Blank Corporation, which is now Neil Gaiman's Scientology front and how he pays the cult.

Gaiman is also the "Vitamin Heir" of Scientology. The Gaiman family owns G&G Vitamins which reaps 6 million a year from selling The Purification Rundown Vitamins.

Gaiman's two sisters, Claire Edwards and Lizzie Calciole are not just high-ranking Scientologists, they are the head of RECRUITING and the head of Wealden House, the Scientology stronghold in East Grinstead. These two cannot associate with Neil unless he is in good standing.
Half Jack

Sounds like Amanda Palmer trolling, as usual. You are pathetic, Palmer.
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Terry

Amanda Palmer is a vulgar psycho!
nicole

wow this is just about the worst article ever, and I already went into it not liking amanda very much…unfortunately for your point, your writing and awful combination of slurs/bigotry totally turned me off to your point, and now I feel more inclined to side with HER than you.
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Vaehl

Lol she doesn't care if you respect her as an "artist" or not. She makes her music, and if you don't like it, then you can go fuck yourself. You don't like that she posts pictures of herself nude for the hell of it? Too bad. You think her not shaving is worth commenting on? Take your head out of your own ass and realize she just doesn't shave because she doesn't feel like it. Is she making a super feminist statement? Nope. Is she pointing out social stigmas every time she raises an arm? Give her attention, or don't. She isn't going anywhere, no matter how sarcastically you point out that she isn't conforming to whatever your standards are. She couldn't give a flying fuck.
Victor

Ha, ha. Wow. Keep going, Palmer, you giant douche bag. This article defines you. It is exactly how you come off. The amazing thing is you are you are your own worst enemy you classless Scientology whore.

Palmer's whole family is Sea Org, which explains why she doesn't seem to understand how deeply untalented she is and puts out utter crap again and again. https://whyweprotest.net/community/threads/amanda…
Meredith

Only this I'll say: She's not a scientologist, she's an atheist. Now you can keep talking bullshit and feeling superior because you know, she doesn't shave and her art is different.
Jennifer Fielding

I hate Amanda Palmer because she's an ugly idiot who has no talent whatsoever. She can't sing or play the piano properly. She is always so out of tune. Even Taylor Swift is better than her. The music industry doesn't need Amanda. It already has Tori Amos and Regina Spektor, who have loads more talent. I especially hate how Amanda murdered the songs of my favorite band, Radiohead. Oh yeah, her armpits are uglier than the girl who sings for Dragonette.
http://twitter.com/Jennfield21 @Jennfield21

I hate Amanda Palmer because she's an ugly idiot who has no talent whatsoever. She can't sing or play the piano properly. She is always so out of tune. Even Taylor Swift is better than her. The music industry doesn't need Amanda. It already has Tori Amos and Regina Spektor, who have loads more talent. I especially hate how Amanda murdered the songs of my favorite band, Radiohead. Oh yeah, her armpits are uglier than the girl who sings for Dragonette.