Bear In Heaven
“Beast Rest Forth Mouth”
This CD is terrible. I have talked to a few people who really like it and some of the shit they say makes eugenics look pretty appealing.
“Dude, you can actually SEE the choruses getting BIGGER…”
“Have you ever been in like, one of those theaters where like, the screen is like a dome?!?!… Thats what it sounds like!”
I shit you not. Cornholes in v-necks have actually said this to me and made it out with their abilities to procreate. For some reason they seem to compare it to ambient music which is something that I just can’t wrap my head around.
When I listen to this I fail to visualize anything aside from other stuff that I could be doing. One is getting in a good tug session. Another is making one of my world famous turkey clubs with a crystal Pepsi to wash it down. The third is mercilessly beating whoever wrote this album within an inch of his life. Fortunately, anyone with brain matter can figure out that what these guys are doing can easily be achieved by picking a random delay knob and slowly turning it up in the mix… SnoreFest 2009 and these dip shits are invited:
Luckily I can find a little bit of solace in the fact that Bear In Heaven along with people who listen to them will inevitably die before I do. Yes, douchebaggery and stupidity play a very real role in natural selection. Attach a Member’s only jacket to the back of a moving vehicle and one of these retards will more than likely scamper after it.
Whatever…I don’t know why I’m getting so worked up. This band will be gone in a year and nobody will even remember that they existed. Kill all hipsters. American Apparel won’t like this at all.
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