Jay Reatard’s touring band quit on him today. He took a break from tweeting burrito updates to drop the news:
Band quit ! Fuck them ! They are boring rich kids who can’t play for ahit anyways .. Say hello to your ugly and boring wifes opps I mean lifes guys suck it
Now, I could listen to a fat person talk about food all day long, but there’s only so many times I can take Jay’s custom exclamation point usage. Hey, Jay ! It’s fucking annoying when you type like an illiterate 12-year-old girl !
At any rate, the reason for Jay’s band mate’s departure hasn’t been made clear yet, but maybe something similar to this caused it:
Bummer. Looks like the crowd caught some of that Reatarded stream.
For the sake of objectivity, we’re gonna make like a spokesman for the pigs and say “the video doesn’t tell the entire story.” I mean, there’s not even a dick in this video! How the hell did he pee? This is the first ever family-friendly golden shower video!
Even more bewildering is the guitarist’s reaction. If a methed-up gorilla peed on me, I don’t think I would retaliate by dancing around in fireworks like a fruitcake. I’d probably get vaccinated and take a shower. Maybe even fire a warning shot.
There are also rumors of a fight between the pee-target and Jay following the set. Reports say that Jay tried to break a bottle over the firework dancer’s head, and when that didn’t work, proceeded to poke him in the chest with it instead. A fight followed.
Fighting is the smartest thing anyone can do. Right up there with peeing on another human being. Or calling your band mate’s wife ugly…on the Internet !
Now, the video above wasn’t Jay’s touring band- that was the Reatard’s reuniting for Goner Fest. But with that kinda shit going on in a band he’s not even in anymore, who the fuck knows what kinda nasty shit he did to make his touring band quit. Other than that whole putting their cocks in his mouth while they’re sleeping and calling it “a joke” thing, of course. But everyone knows that already, and if his band mates didn’t like it, they wouldn’t have put up with him for as long as they did.
If you wanna huff on some midnight dong (it’s hilarious!), Jay’s looking:
So who wants to see just how terrible it is to play in my band . I mean its so so hard I promise its the worst [email protected]