13 QUESTIONS WITH MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN OF TOOL

that was most entertaining
next time you two should switch

man, he sure can talk a lot of bullshit and avoid questions

Did I just read something? What about the mohawk?

Typical MJ…wouldn’t expect anything less. Can’t wait to see Puscifer in Vancouver!!!!

As always Maynard reflects his comical intelligence for all of us to admire, I’m not so sure he’s avoiding anything although it’s apparent he’s annoyed with any nosey ass press junky and or questions that mean absolutely squat. For many years Maynard has been the master at getting you to ignore the person in control but enjoy the product that is distributed, ultimately because he’s this way, you fuckin love em.

I feel slightly less intelligent now

what a TOOL

poor fella can’t answer a question. I don’t know how your questions even reached the 8th dimension, but apparently they don’t have time machines there. hopefully that’s what he’s really been working on all this time.

The best time machine is > > > <<<<<<<<
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[2,5 Dimethoxy -4- Iodo phenethylamine]

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….lol, wut?

bwahaha that was fantastic.

that was boring, I regret reading it.

Wow really? He’s not finished giving half assed interviews? There’s 5 mins lost from my life.

Reading this made me smile inside. I love his wiseass approach,..and I agree with him,..DRESSED and SOBER do him great justice!

*smiles*

X

I prefer the Jeff Wood interview. Every other word was “cunt,” but at least that’s good subject matter.

and mint chicks too! next time i want a ronnie dobbs 13 questions

hahaha. he said butt-fuck

Wow, this sounds like a high school kid trying to be weird for weirdness’s sake. no wonder his music does nothing for me.

I love to butt-fuck

what a douche =/

Me: Hey Babe.
GF: Maynard came into work tonight. He wants us to carry his wine.
Me: Cool. Who was he with?
GF: Some dude at first. Then, two chicks came in. I got him drunk.
Me: Nice.
GF: By the way, why does he dress so bad?

What a dick!

You guys are telling me you downloaded “Ænema” and you weren’t into it? I find that hard to believe. Not saying Tool is the Beatles but they are one of the best heavy bands in the word…. see them live and then try and talk shit. They bring it. Lemmings.

Oh’ ok I guess he’s so witty I must be hanging on his every word. Hey Maynardo suck a dick!Every dork I ever met was a fan of your nerd metal go figure…

How many drop~D riffs does it take to make a Tool album….1 muthafucka!The Pink Floyd of our generation yeah sure. fill up your pipe with more baking powder boy.

Hahahahaha …NERD METAL! perfect

Wow, that was the exact opposite of funny/clever. I’m almost ashamed to be a fan of his.

Trying a little too hard to come off like he’s so beyond us.I feel sorry for him maybe he’s half retarded?

Heh, its obvious his objective was to NOT directly answer in regards of what was asked to him.. whether you want to call that “retarded” or be ashamed of being his fan, he accomplished his god damn plan!
Im not supporting him or hating him for this so called “interview”. This doesn’t change the music he did or will do. Being a fan of some artist in general or of their music are two different things. Just wanted to make that clear considering a lot of chicks like an artist based on his/her hair-do or outfit and have no idea of what music he/she does.
Ide like to see someone else in his position and bypass the questions without being degrading in an interview like using “cunt” every other word. Im not saying its impossible but it means im looking for entertainment, not a real interview, and I doubt thats what he was trying to do with this. He wasn’t intending to entertain you in any way as far as I see it.
In the end, who the hell really cares or take this to seriously, he got his results he wanted.
If you knew he wasn’t really going to answer the questions, then why did you bother to come and read this to give half assed comments? Why do those that don’t like this music or say that “it does nothing for them” bother to read this page and give a comment that does nothing for this page?
If you pay attention to it, he turned it into some endless & no real point chat. Made it less serious. Come on, don’t say your web chats or friend chats don’t reduce into meaningless discussions. ..and again, im not saying he’s a genius, and im not backing him up or wearing a “Im Your #1 Fan” glove like a freak.
Now you’ll say, “Why the fuck did you waste your time to even write all that crap?” ’cause I wanted to give my time-wasted share here just like you did. Why shouldn’t I?

Lacking. . .

Brilliant! I love MJK

what an awesome asshole.

also, what travis said about the live show is true. tool live is a fucking treat. drop the the faux intellectual shit and get down with it.

This is a comment.
I smell muffins.

I love the man. He’s brilliant, but my teenage daughter could have come up with equally as ‘witty’ answers. I doubt any of you would have raved as such. You would have marked it as simple teenage diatribe; which is exactly what this is.

Btw Aeon, I love muffins

tool is the loudest live band ive ever heard my ears were still ringing on sunday night from a friday concert.

Commodore, you obviously never saw Atari Teenage Riot or Alec Empire play live… Your ears would be ringing for a whole month!

^ I agree. Tool sucks. Fuck those assholes. The guys you mentioned rock. Even more, Attack Attack! blow my balls up. I go to that show I’m like, “Where’s the ear plugs? Sorry, I mean butt plugs.”

Sup?

I have A.D.D. too, Maynard.

Very interesting READING, thanks. I believe the sarcastic and cynical yet creative answers were hilarious! The questions were so cookie cutter…one must try and go beyond the norm when interviewing such a broken mold kind of man! Peace

Would have been nice if he would have answered something. I dig Tool and APC and all, but in all interviews, MJK comes across as an asshole that doesn’t give a shit about his fans. None of these answers are even funny, if that’s even what he was going for.

Are you kidding me? I hate him. Maybe if he spent more time not being so witty, Took could put on a different show at some point. Maynard you are an asshole.

crap, i meant tool not took. hahaha

^ Dude, I will hunt you down and kill you. As the chicken hawk in Road Warrior said, “Just walk away and I’ll spare your penis.”

omg dipshits, your insults arent original either..

Maynard can be very up front and articulate when he chooses to be. I thought he was quite well behaved not to mention clothed and sober in his artist on artist with Patton Oswalt.

If you guys had as many needy, obsessive fans hounding you for existential insight and as many boring, redundant interviews as he has had over the years, you wouldn’t want to be bothered either.

MJK is an profoundly talented and intelligent person and if you’re offended by him being oblique at times you can fuck right off.

I liked Tool when I was 16, but grew out of them after I bought my first Fugazi record.

So… now, you are 17 and like Fagazi?

Why did he agree to an interview if he wasn’t going to produce an effort to answer the questions?

I could maybe see the quality (or lack of) of his answers as a direct result to the quality of the questions… but if neither makes an effort; that kind of defeats the purpose of an interview… doesn’t it?

Curious to see what kind of responses I would get if I were to do a mini-interview.

I tend to respect peoples opinions but if you dont like tool you suck and probably should die

He probably went for this mayhem/chaotic responses..
His answers=pretty much pointless
Comments on this page=even less worthy of any concrete point

Haters!
Shut up!
He’s more successful than any of you ever will be. He’s getting his. And you’re the dumb asses getting pissed cuz you can’t get a glimpse of him.
Quit crying!

“All you know about me is what I’ve sold ya”

Look i’m not trying to overtly defend someone who i pay money to see live.. Or listen to in my car. But hes a fucking comedian for Christ sake..

You cant expect someone who has a scene of humor to take every interview seriously. So Lighten Up Francis

Absolutely fabulous! Reading ignorant response comments is my morning cup of tea. I don’t see why people who don’t take to Mjk’s artistic outputs are reading an interview of the man. I don’t read Brittany Spears interviews because I have no interest in it. Really it all boils down to we live we eat we shit hopefully have fun make a difference or impression in the world then we get buried six feet under. So who really cares either way???? Put a smile on your ignorant face and find something better to do then criticize someone for being successful enough to give bullshit answers if he pleases to.

Art is art is art is art is art. Any questions?

tool lost all relevance after aenema, they are not as smart as you think, just regular people. that lateralus thing was just pretentious, 100000000000 days is boring. trite and overwrought. he doesn’t write very well, and is short. that puscifer band? what the fuck is that?

Relevance? Are you relevant? Who’s determining the intelligence of people they don’t know? Geez this is why the world is full of shit……… because there are so many people full of shit that nothing else can surpass the overload. It is what is is and nothing else. Maybe we should try harder to appreciate something rather then give meaningless insulting opinions??? Hey lets get a hobby!

hahaha, it’s true. People who take that band seriously are the dum-dums.

whoever said they have a.d.d… yeah… isn’t it freaking great?

@maynardsadouchebagmotherfcker: shut the fuck up, you moron!!!

Wow, this is awesome! Maynard is the best

@maynardsadouchebagmotherfcker, YOU are the fuckin asshole here!!!

There’s a fine line between wit and sounding like a dick that has never translated well for Maynard. He’s the comic equivalent of Henry Rollins with Asperger’s.

it’s the same route most of us would decide to answer to a myspace bulletin. sarcasm with hopes of causing laughs. kudos in that regard.

Just a quick question, drinkallsolution: What the hell does MJK being short have to do with anything? Does that somehow make him less of a singer, or a person? Maybe people should check their own high expectations at the door and let the man be human. Just the fact that so many of you expect so much more from him shows that you’re putting him on a pedestal, even subconsciously. I’ve seen several interviews where he shows he’s well-spoken and intelligent, and if he doesn’t answer the question directly, then so what? He doesn’t want to do our thinking for us, so give him some credit, yeah?

“#
pepper — Aug 18th, 2009 at 12:54 am

omg dipshits, your insults arent original either..” did anyone else appreciate the irony in this statement as much as i did????

“For many years Maynard has been the master at getting you to ignore the person in control but enjoy the product that is distributed, ultimately because he’s this way, you fuckin love em.”

lol wut

what is really funny here is the fact that all of you who are upset by this interview and his responses are actually taking the time to write a response about how upset you are. if you really didn’t like the guy or his music or whatever, why take the time to write something about it? that seems a little back asswards to me… if you feel that you waisted your time by reading the interview, why waist even more time by writing a response…

move along now sheep, move along… baaaaah…

[...] the divided response in the comments when we posted 13 Questions With Maynard James Keenan and “Maynard Turns Blood Into Vine With His New Movie”, I figured I’d stir it up [...]

I meet Maynard. What dick. For 250 I got a hand shake and a pre-signed poster with his squiggle. Hope I can sell it to some stalker to re-coupe my cost. So it’s not just interviewers he’s a dick to, also his fans. Fuck him and his retirement plan. Hope this stops another honest person from getting disappointed.Maynard has no soul Major Douche fits more than he lead on….

I love Tool,but I really fucking hate Tool fans sometimes.

[...] And in case you missed the previous posts about his cross-dressing vocal-champion, check out our 13 Questions With Maynard James Keenan, New Puscifer Video Plus Tour Dates (that are over already) From Our Creepy Uncle Maynard and [...]

i love that i wanna be an arrogant assholoe and know im justified in every aspect

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Haha perfect answers let me know if you ever need to barrow my time machine its just collecting dust

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