Out of rehab and back on your feet in no time, huh? We told you it wasn’t no big. But now you’re going to be under the magnifying glass for this tour. No worries, though. We’re gonna teach you how to fail up, cuz that’s the kinda shit Buddyhead actually KNOWS about yo. Although we don’t have time to chaperon you, we’re gonna givve you some fast advvice to live by:
1) Melt down on as many drugs as you can get from your dork friends all you want (DON’T call it “scoring”), but NEVVVER apologize for it! You let the nerds have their run of you last time! And what’s up with not evven (pretty obnoxious, huh?) firing a band member on stage last time? NO GOOD!
2) That reminds us, NO talking to internet nerds! Especially not to explain why you GO OFF! They could nevver know! So, why repent for being rad to a crowd that treats Rock & Roll like a bake sale for a book club? They’re making smarmy little “ha ha”s about you evven now, buddy. So, remember: If you get cornered by sweater-vvests, just chant, “crystal-deconstruction-deer-hermeneutics-wolf-bear-paradox(ical)-Lil’ Jon-French feminism” and the wieners will walk slowly away. But DO NOT say anything about guitars or sex. Trust us.
3) Write “Waves” on the blackboard twelvve times before leaving the apartment.
4) Grow the rest of your hair out to match the part that’s long. This is not a suggestion. This ain’t 86′ and you ain’t called Tony Hawk. We know you’re young… we ain’t mad just helpin’ yo.
5) Ditch the fucking shades, dude. We’vve seen you wear shit that might as well havve been a Segway glued to your face. Nerd-city.
6) First Skateboarding is for peopel not in beans. BUT… if you’re going to skateboard, try to not break bones. Not only does it fuck up the playing guitar thing but it also smells. Plus a cast makes you look more like you’re twelvve and you don’t need help in that department. And you want to get into the bars you’re playing.
Alright, check evverything off the list and you’re free to attend the following dates.
But first, you guys can download this new Wavves demo, “Mickey Mouse.” He probably won’t be doing anything with it.
See you in L.A., Chief! Get ready to party with Travis… no way you can keep up he’s got years on you.
Wavves – Fall 09
* w/Ganglians
# w/Soft Pack
8-28 San Diego, CA – Street Scene
9-05 Los Angeles, CA – FYF Fest
9-06 San Francisco, CA – Rickshaw Stop *
9-13 Salt Lake City, UT – Urban Lounge *
9-14 Denver, CO – Larimer Lounge *
9-15 Lawrence, KS – Jackpot Music Hall *
9-16 Minneapolis, MN – 7th Street Entry *
9-17 Grinnell, IA – Gardner Lounge (Grinnell College) *
9-18 Champaign, IL – Pygmalion Music Festival *
9-19 Madison, WI – Forward Music Festival *
9-20 Chicago, IL – Chopin Theater *
9-20 Chicago, IL – Empty Bottle *
9-21 Detroit, MI – Majestic Cafe *
9-22 Toronto, Ontario – El Mocambo *
9-23 Montreal, Quebec – Friendship Cove *
9-24 New York, NY – Santos Party House *
9-25 New York, NY – Todd P show *
9-27 Boston, MA – Great Scott *
9-29 Philadelphia, PA – First Unitarian Church *
9-30 Baltimore, MD – Ottobar *
10-01 Washington, D.C. – Rock and Roll Hotel *
10-02 Chapel Hill, NC – Local 506 *
10-03 Athens, GA – 40 Watt Club *
10-04 Atlanta, GA – The Earl *
10-06 Oxford, MS – Proud Larry’s *
10-09 Dallas, TX – Pastime Lounge *
10-10 Austin, TX – Emo’s *#
10-15 Phoenix, AZ – Rhythm Room *
10-16 San Diego, CA – Casbah *
10-17 Los Angeles, CA – Echoplex *
