More music that in no way whatsoever rocks
Hi, I’m Meathead. Since I could count the number of times I’ve visited the Pitchfork website on one hand even after a hypothetical horrific, bloody woodshop mishap, I’m not really “up” on all the latest “rock and roll” bands that “kids” are “listening to” these days. Of course, this isn’t much of a problem, seeing as most new music that is created today “blows goats.” Unfortunately, every now and then I catch wind of one of these god-awful pseudo-bands, despite my best efforts not to. And more often than not, they end up opening for Nine Inch Nails soon after. But I guess my ever-growing distaste for contemporary music is just another sign that I’m getting old. I’ve also been watching a lot of Matlock lately. I can’t believe I’ve never noticed how much this show kicks ass.
Have you ever seen a band name that’s so mind-blowingly retarded that it makes you want to roundhouse kick a nun right in the face? Like, for example, “As I Lay Dying”, “Panic! At The Disco”, or “Darryl Hall and John Oates”? I recently had the opportunity to experience this tingly sensation, although in this particular case, the word “band” is used in lieu of “whiny putz with a keyboard.” It’s easier to just type “band.” Imagine my delight the very moment I became aware of the existence of yet another one of these atrocities. To my chagrin, there was a noticeable lack of nuns nearby to attack indiscriminately at the time, so I had to settle for local Cub Scout pack #418. I tell you, it just wasn’t as satisfying. You’d think it would be, but it wasn’t. So it goes. Nevertheless, I was still stuck with the cold, unchanging reality that someone is actually recording and performing music under the moniker Casiotone For The Painfully Alone. Holy Christ.
I wish I could say this was a joke, and that no one could honestly be that lame. I really, really do. In a perfect world, this would be the case (and my idea for a Matlock/Robocop crossover movie would finally get the green light). Alas, this is not a perfect world. In fact, just between you and me, it kinda sucks. We all have to wake up every morning (or in Travis’ case, every afternoon) and face ridiculous gas prices, traffic, high fructose corn syrup, Hillary Clinton, and this douchenozzle shown here to your left, who was born Owen Ashworth. As his idiotic stage name suggests, he likes to fire up his Casio keyboard and play sad, whiny little poor-me songs about how nobody wanted to ride bikes with him when he was eight years old, or some such horseshit. I mean, just look at him. He makes Conor Oberst look like Henry Rollins. And, wouldn’t you know it, there seem to be people out there who actually eat this shit up, because this butthead is actually playing at the Echo on Friday. Yeah, that’s what I want to do on a Friday night. To be quite honest, I’d rather save my $8 by staying at home and trying to figure out what they’re saying on the Korean channel. At least then I wouldn’t be subjected to tripe like “Toby Take A Bow.” Oh look here’s a music video for “Toby Take A Bow.” Great.
Wow, what a shitty video. I actually want to get Rickrolled right now just to get the taste out of my mouth. Or eyes. Or ears. Whatever, fuck you. If you actually enjoyed it, and you have eight bucks burning a hole in your pocket, then by all means go see this train wreck. I’ll be waiting for you out in the parking lot with a baseball bat after the show. In fact, I’m 100% certain that there are some Buddyhead readers who already listen to this jackass on a regular basis. The really fucked up thing is that this dude probably even has some groupies by now. Can you imagine that? “Oh, Owen, you’re so sensitive and misunderstood! And your Casio is so retro and ironic! You can scatter your pearls on me anytime!” You know he’s milking that shit for all it’s worth.
In case you’re still on the fence, here’s a video of him performing live, to give you a clearer idea of how incredible it is that he can get away with charging people to come to his shows. Check this out.
I think I need to go listen to some Motörhead for a few hours. Bye.
Posted in gay, What the fuck, Music, meathead |
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:54 am
“He makes Conor Oberst look like Henry Rollins.” Haha, too good.
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:45 am
pretty spot on with all these new bands names
fuck i hate people sometimes
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:35 am
Wow that was horrible.
It reminds me of this one time when I was seven years old and I had swallowed some peach pits. I spent the following day in agonizing, horrible pain shiting
peach pits.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:54 am
i have to say this post was underwhelming; i mean, you have prime material here
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:17 am
That Conor Oberst joke reminds me of a AMG review of an album by the awfulest band ever, “the calling”.
It was saying : “They make Rob Thomas sound like Rob Zombie”.
Anyway I’m sure that it’s a completely different.
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:57 am
Fuck…
Meathead, let’s elope or something.
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:21 am
I don’t think you should listen to Motorhead after that post. I think you need to inject the Motorhead directly into your heart!
SO does this guy have a backing band or is it just him and a keyboard? Thats fucking boring as shit. In fact doing a shit is a lot less boring than his music!
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:12 am
I was talked by some random guy into seeing this guy live… BORING! This is what I got for trusting the musical tastes of a random guy who had apparently found a guide on “how to dress like an indie musician” and was a fan of Bright Eyes. Ok, maybe I’m to blame.
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:59 am
As much as I hate Pitchfork I check it everyday… Amongst the shit heap they call interviews and record reviews they do have some content that is well worth reading. The interview the other day with Paul Westerberg was pretty entertaining… but for the most part they are hipster dick pigs.. Oh yeah Health sucks giants art cocks…
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:41 am
Hey, M. which Golden Girl would you pick for Matlock!?
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:52 am
spot on with the band names…
Oh, dig the Slaughter House Five line…I don’t think most people caught it…but I don’t think most people read those old and obsolete things called books…cheers
Love the posts and keep bumming the kids and their crappy tunes at bay…thank you
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:12 am
how about posting some GOOD music we haven’t heard of? what happened to that? It’s pretty easy to rip on shitty bands but I remember when Buddyhead was actually a source of good new music.
It’s a lot harder to go out on a limb and say “this band is rad” than to rip on shit like the Crystal Castles and Casio-Douche. I read somewhere that Buddyhead is a “tastemaker” mp3 blog. WTF? Where’s the new rock?
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:16 am
by the way, thanks for the 2 AA Bondy tracks.
any one ever seen him with a backing band? i’ve seen him 3 times and every time it’s just him and his guitar… kind of depressing really. With a fuller sound I think it would be 10x better.
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:34 am
I think Meathead has a crush on the Casio guy….
…is anyone gonna check out the Black Angels show with Darker My Duders in 2 weeks?
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:49 am
What does it mean to be “rickrolled”??? Thanks for ’splaining in advance.
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:34 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSsJ19sy3JI
Clicky and you have been Rickrolled bitch!
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
There oughta be a law!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o-SuRXwK5o
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I accidentally and unfortunately ended up seeing this guy in Atlanta when I was visiting family, and well…I had to inform all my D.C. hipster friends that their super-sensitive hero was coming to town (this kind of music is sort of what plagues D.C. these days, except with full bands).
Anyway, instead of listening to this barf…for a much credible band of this “genre”, check out the new Beach House record. Or at least whip out the old Rainbow albums where Dio was singing about killing kings and climbing silver mountains and shit.
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Never trust a band whose name is a sentence, has punctuation or repeats the same word twice.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Just how big is this venue called the Echo?
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Good clip there Jim Morrison :)
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I’m not a fan of this either, but I think you’re totally full of shit. You have nothing creative or “rockin” to write about, so you find something you and the readers will think is “lame” and “gay” and write some subjective “gay is bad, rock is good” sensationalist rant. I mean, just don’t go to the show. Some hipster-types like this kind of stuff, and because you’re obviously insecure around those people, you’ve gotta’ put on this “my music is better than yours” attitude.
If you asked this guy, he would probably never want to be associated with this website or any of the bands you like. Just cause it’s not his thing. So why do you have to drag it down.
you sound like the idiotic jock of the music world.
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:57 pm
But he is the idiotic jock of the music world!
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:03 pm
I agree about todays music, most of it does suck……
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:06 pm
keep it comin’, MH
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:44 pm
That was physically painful and the music is even worse than the name…
The state of music these days is so depressing, I think I might have to listen to Casiotone For The Painfully Alone’s new album and slaughter myself in the bathroom with a blunt object.
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Meathead, I just have to ask where and WHY did you find such mindless horseshit?
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:03 pm
meathead is a god among men.
May 24th, 2008 at 4:38 am
plebs like that are the reason guns were invented. Fucking hell
May 24th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Neophilia…wiki that word. You might find your picture nearby.
Or is it a dendrophiliac…necrophiliac….panic attack….hmmmm
immediate post again meat-buddy-head…I need that perfect Rx
oh, and with the state of music it would be quite repetitive to talk about good rock bands because you’d be talking about the same hanful each post…at least with shitty tunes there is a sense of not onlyIrony but also sarcasm….good shit
lastly, meat head, never stop shitting on pitchfork…even if that is why people start coming to this site because they want to voice hatred upon you, you still win…they loose
why the fuck am I awake or at work…..shit
May 24th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
see, I’ve seen and not enjoyed this guy before but here’s the problem with talking shit on an artist like Casiotone. . . — bands like Crystal Castles NEED the piss taken out of them every now and again because they’re into everyone thinking that they’re cool.
Casiotone. . . comes from the brand of indie rock where someone making fun of them for being too sensitive/emotional or whatever is actually VALIDATING, because they’ve always felt like heart-on-their-sleeve-outsiders.
So in a fucked up way, you’re actually helping this act by drawing ridicule to them.
May 25th, 2008 at 2:19 am
Maybe the other kid in the video was trying to bring the mosh by bustin out some “Damaged Case” on the piano which made the other kid cry and run away like a little bitch.
May 25th, 2008 at 10:42 am
I’ve been reading this gossip assbox since 01, and you guys are fucking spot on about every band you talk shit on. This guy sucks dick on a fuckin sub atomic level. I gotta say though for the amount of shit you talk on bands you guys like some shitty music. Enough already with the fuckin corduroy ass smoke rock, you west coast assriders should grow a sac and quit it with this indie cunt squeals. Yo meathead word around the roost is that your ass was made for dick and my dick was made for ass.. lets get something goin on.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:28 am
this is what would happen if Reggie and The Full Effect sucked and took themselves seriously. goddamn.
kill all hipster music scum.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
You guys (you’re all guys) realize that you’re on what was once the ultimate hipster website (now boring old drunks website) posting comments about music you dislike, right? Kill all hipster music scum.
May 25th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
i saw and met this guy when he opened for the rapture way way back in the day, at a lil’ place called pch club. he was touring with the rapture actually…this was before they made their dance record. anyway, he was a sweetie pie….shy, awkward, normal musician. while i haven’t had a listen since then, i’m sure a lot of people do in fact eat it up because he’s toured with xiu xiu, which has a similar crying sound, and this kind of thing is spun on kxlu quite a bit. at least he has been doing the same thing for years and not jumping on some shitty bandwagon. he’s just doing his thing…if he wants to write a song about how a girl or boy made him a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, and people dig it… cool. while it is not my cut o’ tea, at least the songs are honest and heartfelt. i always say, don’t hate, just make…. and make it better. plus it’s the regurgitated crap floating the waves these days that spring the other mindblowing bands and cause them to shine through in the sifting sands. yeah, so what.
May 25th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
no, but Kathleen! you miss the point!
it’s totallly GAY HIPSTER SHIT that totally SUCKS DICK and is for GAY FAGGOTS and probably JEWS LIKE IT TOO.
I’m with you.
May 25th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
alright, so this music sucks, meathead wrote a post about it, I was entertained by that post.
you two, graham and kathleen, do too much college. there are so many hypocritical, ignorant, annoying, dickless things about both of your posts that you must be all hopped up on college.
or yr just egocentric asses, same difference, snap.
May 26th, 2008 at 7:42 am
wow, the videos have been taken down.
May 26th, 2008 at 7:43 am
eh.. not. sorry ^^;;
May 26th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Personally, I think he should pay people to see him, not the other way around.
May 27th, 2008 at 12:30 am
Owen Ashworth, is that you?
“’m not a fan of this either, but I think you’re totally full of shit. You have nothing creative or “rockin” to write about, so you find something you and the readers will think is “lame” and “gay” and write some subjective “gay is bad, rock is good” sensationalist rant. I mean, just don’t go to the show. Some hipster-types like this kind of stuff, and because you’re obviously insecure around those people, you’ve gotta’ put on this “my music is better than yours” attitude.”
hahaha. you’re offended. go make some one a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
June 1st, 2008 at 12:11 pm
this project is the epitome of wack, overhyped bullshit. all i hear is pretentious facial hair, flannel and whining.
it’s like dave bazan without any balls or hint of purpose
June 11th, 2008 at 3:00 am
[…] read what Buddyhead says about Casiotone for the Painfully Alone These icons link to social bookmarking sites where […]
June 11th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
A bunch of fucking meatheads. Try extending your horizons a little bit and put the Motorhead down for a bit. Dumbasses…
June 11th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Haha. Didn’t even realize your name was Meathead. Well, at least you can admit it.
June 19th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Fuck’n hell mate! This is what I always loved about this website. Never once in earth you could ever recognize the true specimens of what is cool and what sucks. Damn I used to think I knew what sucks but this guy with his little thing performing live in the front of those people who are actually watching that, man it’s unbelievable, it really affected my idea of how much mankind could stink. Unreal!
August 15th, 2008 at 9:16 am
oh boy here we go again…. hipster music.Geeze there were so many of those douchebags at virgin mobile fest… ya know the type that think they can just waltz into Urban Outfitters,lay down 200 dollars for a pair of skinny jeans using mom’s credit card, pick up a pair of Oakley frogskin glasses, then top it off with 1980’s Nike’s (usually multi neon colored) and then find that perfect t-shirt that has some lame 80’s tv show printed on it that no one ever liked in the first place but the t-shirt company decided they were gonna make it cool somehow (golden girls cough cough). I mean wtf? Golden Girls? ok i can understand maybe Urkle but Golden Fucking Girls? GAYYYY!!! This music sucks since when does using a kasio and singing like a whiny titty baby qualify as talent? ugh don’t even get me started on bright eyes i hate that band. my friend got the pleasure of meeting that little fag last Sunday. can you believe she missed vfest to go to that? wtf?