Gimme Shelter! Godfather of the music documentary, Albert Maysles – the dude behind the aforementioned Rolling Stones doc, not to mention Monterey Pop and What’s Happening! The Beatles in the U.S.A. has dropped his walking stick to declare his next epic project. So what band is he going to bestow with never-ending fame and glory? Think for a minute. Who has really changed the face of modern music over the last decade?

Still scratching? Let Buddyhead make it easier for you. Fall Out Boy! Did I stutter? Yes, Maysles has chosen Pete Wentz and the boys as his last testament and death rattle to the silver screen. I don’t know about you, but I’m stoked! Is there any better way to go out than watching dudes with lame piercings and tribal tats shop at Hot Topic and molest 14-year-old fan girls? Sounds like a plan to me.

Hey Maysles, I know being an old geezer sucks and all, but c’mon bro. There are waaaay better ways to spend your time. Just take a look at what this dude does with all the extra hours on his hands!

While on the topic, Fall Out Boy’s new record sounds steller! Wentz said the band is going all out on an effort to recreate the sound of Definitely Maybe.

“I think the one aspect we’re bringing to the record is something Oasis did a lot, where they play these really distorted, awesome riffs, and they’d have an acoustic guitar over the entire song,”

If Alan McGee is reading this, contact these dudes ASAP. No better way to re-jump Poptones than redo the magic of Creation. They may be a bit pricey, but how much did Shields put you in for on Loveless? Exactly!

On another note, Panic! At The Disco have officially changed their name to Panic At The Disco. It seems that the added exclamation mark made them feel a little too marketable as they unleashed their Honda Civic tour. Not to throw fans off, but they are now tying to marquee the “fact” that they are named after a Smiths’ song. That’s okay with me, as long as it keeps Honda far away from the Scion infiltration of all just about every rock dive in the country. And I hear Morrissey likes to slob young boys on the DL.

Speaking of mindless namedropping to scheme credibility, have you seen Juno? It’s okay to mention a couple bands in a flick, but goddamn. First it’s the Melvins, then The Stooges, Sonic Youth and The Runaways? Why not drop some Black Randy dialogue while you’re at it? And somehow, industry heads are parading the screenwriter as the next Tarantino. Stooops!

Val Kilmer. You are a strange dude. But I’m digging you 1000% on the Nirvana lettering, and check it, I’ve already got the blueprint for your Neil Young cover video!

I hope Travis has his boner shorts on, cause Kevin Ayers (otherwise known as the dude from The Soft Machine) is releasing his new record stateside in March. And, it’s being backed as one of the best of the year by Mojo! I can’t really call it, seeing how it features members of Teenage Fanclub and Neutral Milk Hotel alongside blokes from Architecture in Helsinki. Uhh, okay… Way to start off strong and then shit on the parade, man! Anyhoo, The Bad Seeds drop at about the same time, so guess what I’m marching to the record store to pick up?

Meanwhile…Did you know the that Vice’s cash cumbox, VBS, is now owned by MTV? And it seems they also fired the last great thing about the mag, Gavin McInnes, as an owner. Cheerio mates! I guess Mykel Board was right when he said that most punks trade in their Dead Kennedy patches once they see a little greenery. Have fun getting fat and drinking pin coladas.

Maybe the most important news of the hour, Dead Meadow’s new album hits shops in a couple weeks. I’ve heard it, and if you’re in mind-jamming solos and getting stoned – this one’s for you!

Lastly, I don’t know if you’ve seen all this Brittany Spears coverage on basically every channel on the dial, but I’ve got a seven-word solution to remedy the situation. “SEND THAT BITCH TO PHIL SPECTOR”S HOUSE!”