Ok… another huge gap between updates here at Buddyhead dot net. Yeah, sorry we go off. Sure, we could pretend like we actually give a shit about what’s going on in “popular music”, and have constant updates, but we’re pretty sure you’d be able to tell we were faking it, right?

Speaking of going off, Travis and Aaron are both in Europe right now. Yeah, both of us. Shit’s gonna go HasslehOFF in Germany. Aaron’s supposed to be out here cuz he plays guitar for that nine inch males band, and Travis is pulling his old move of just freeloading his way around and barely making bus call cos he spent the whole night before pounding bottles of 12 year old Jameson and 12 year old boys. Anywhoo… speaking of Europe…

Dear Europe and surrounding areas,

So far we’re having a great time over here. It’s always good to get away from home and check out shit that we normally wouldn’t see. You guys have a few rad things going on that we don’t have back in America… Like all the old buildings, history, culture… Aaron thinks your chocolates are killer, the whole “wearing a bra is optional” system you got going on is bad ass, the spruced gooses and all the titties you show on tv is great. Travis is stoked about all the different kinds of beer, people are psyched on Oasis, being able to actually drive on the freeway is bomb, Sully is amped you can smoke cigarettes anywhere at anytime, and in the countries where English isn’t the primary language it’s pretty cool to be able to ask strangers if they’re into bukakke and have them reply with “Yes!”. But… we have a few reccomendations that you might wanna include when you come out with the upgraded Europe 7.3. First off, it’s cute and everything that you’ve become totally Americanized, and that there’s a Starbucks on every corner here too, but here’s the deal… If you wanna ape American culture so badly, and have every Burger King decorated inside with pictures of “Americana”, then ya gotta play by some of the more reasonable American rules. Here’s the deal… Ketchup is supposed to be FREE. Figure it out fuckers. It’s tomatoes and water. Don’t act like it’s fuckin gold. Also, when a Coke is ordered, throw some ice in that bad boy. At least where we come from, nobody likes warm soda. You wanna get hip and enjoy a little more of the American experience? Well, cold soda is where the fuckin’ party is at nucca! If you guys lost the recipe for ice somewhere along the way, let us know, and we’ll hook that shit up. Another thing you guys might wanna check out, is a small thing called OLD SPICE. Yeah, cut the shit and take care of the BO. We tried buying deoderant at the grocery store the other day, and it would’ve been easier getting a kidney transplant than finding that shit. Also, let’s get rid of all these fucking coins you savages have to lug around. It sucks dick having to haul all of these worthless pieces of metal in your pockets everywhere you go, and NOBODY with a clue wants to start sporting fanny packs (AKA fag bags). Next time you come out with the newest versions of Swedish pesos or whatever the fuck you have here, let’s press those puppies onto paper, deal? And finally, what’s up with you people and the fuckin’ “Euro barge”? Any time there’s supposed to be a wait for something… standing in line for food, waiting to get on an airplane, walking into a movie theater… these cave people start trampling over each other to get in first. It’s a small thing called a LINE. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Obviously not, but ya might wanna check it out. I don’t know about you guys, but every fucking time I wanna get a burger, or see some shitty flick, or ANYTHING, I don’t wanna all the sudden hafta be a contestant in some sort of urban decathalon, and edge out grandma with my elbow just so I can get my McFlurry before everybody else. It’s retarded. Let’s figure this out by the next time we come back, cool?

Love,

Buddyhead

Speaking of McFlurrys, what the fuck does “may contain peanuts” mean? Move the bucket of peanuts over, or figure out if they’re in there or not. If we can put men on the moon, we can figure this shit out too.

If you wanna come out to a show, and give Travis bottles of booze, or let him father some illegitimate Euro-babies, here’s where him and those NIN cunts are gonna be. Travis needs lovin’ out here… He’s had a hard time dealing with our favorite prank we constantly pull on him, where everybody farts into his bunk while he’s asleep. He always wakes up with a confused look on his face saying, “Damn, I can’t figure out why I’m so HORNY”. Check Travis’ Flickr page (http://www.flickr.com/photos/traviskeller/) for some photos he’s been taking on the trip, he’ll be updating it as we truck along. Do it. So yeah, if yer not scared away by some of the kids at these festivals who look like this, come check it out:

aug 01 moscow, russia @ luzhniki arena

aug 03 st petersburg, russia @ jubeleyny arena

aug 05 helsinki, finland @ ankkarock festival

aug 07 stockholm, sweden @ hovet

aug 08 oslo, norway @ oya festival

aug 11 budapest, hungary @ sziget festival

aug 12 bratislava, slovakia @ incheba hall

aug 13 prague, czech republic @ slavia zimni sdion

aug 15 avenches, switzerland @ rock oz’arenes festival

aug 16 salzburg, austria @ frequency festival

aug 18 hasselt, belgium @ pukkelpop

aug 19 biddinghuizen, holland @ lowlands festival

aug 21 edinburgh, scotland @ t on the fringe

aug 22 dublin, ireland @ marley park

aug 24 leeds, uk @ leeds festival

aug 26 reading, uk @ reading festival

aug 28 birmingham, UK @ academy

aug 30 wolverhampton, UK @ civic hall

sep 01 kontanz, germany @ rock am see festival

sep 02 bologna, italy @ independent day festival

sep 03 munich, germany @ circus krone

sep 05 tel aviv, israel @ fair, trade & convention center

sep 09 beijing, china @ beijing pop festival

sep 11 seoul, korea @ olympic hall

sep 13 hong kong, china @ asia world expo hall

sep 15 sydney, australia @ big top luna park

sep 16 sydney, australia @ hordern pavilion

sep 18 honolulu, hawaii @ blaisedell arena

So anyways, back to us… The Verve took our advice and are getting back together. Yeah, yer all welcome. A small thing called US… willing The Verve back together with a little thing called “The Secret”! WOO! Richard Ashcroft, Nick McCabe, Simon Jones, and Pete Salisbury are finishing up a new album right now, and are doing their first shows in the UK in November. All of them are sold out, and we’ve got tickets to two of ‘em! Shit yeah! Hopefully Dicky and the boys know that we’re invited to the party of life, and that means we’ll be drinking some of their beer backstage. Hey Nick, we’ll see you in London and Blackpool… Let’s do this proper and open at least one of these shows with “The Rolling People”. Tell Dicky to come out puffin’ a J too.

So it’s been 20 years since “Appetite For Destruction” came out, and to celebrate, Adler’s Appetite performed at the Key Club in LA. The word on the street was that all the original members of Guns N’ Roses were gonna show up (minus Axl, even though he was “invited”) so we figured we’d better check that shit out even though it was taking place at the epicenter of jiveness, The Key Club. What really went down is Steven Adler’s GNR tribute band played, and then halfway through the set, Izzy & Duff came out and played a song, except the fake Izzy and fake Duff (Chip Znuff) didn’t leave the fuckin’ stage. Duff looked super bummed, and even brushed off fake Axl when homeboy tried to put his arm around him. Slash was there too (as was Gilby from Rock Star Super Poser) hanging out backstage wearing a Social Distortion t-shirt (Uncle Scott was super stoked on that) but homeboy wouldn’t come on stage to shred leads. If we were Slash, we wouldn’t have either based solely on how dorkus the fake Slash was. Later in the set Izzy came back out and played a solo song of his, and a few other GNR songs too which was kinda cool, but overall the experience was balls. Yo, Steven… Yeah you, Popcorn… Joe Burns wants to join Adler’s Appetite. Call that dude up! Here’s some video from the show… check it out.

This also means that when September 17th, 2011 rolls around, it’ll be time to celebrate the 20th anniversary of both “Use Your Illusion” I & II. Hey Axl, here’s the deal bro… First, get the real band back together ASAP! No more dicking around with chicken bucket headed guys or weirdo Jethro Tull goth dudes. We’re talkin’ you, Izzy, Duff, Slash and whoever on drums. Got it? Second, we’ve got the solution to those shitty hairplug dreadlock thingies yer sporting too… just go back to rockin’ the bandana and backwards N.W.A. baseball cap brahski. Bring that guy back, people liked that guy. Nobody likes this new Ali G Axl. And last, but certainly not least, let’s do what you should have done the first time around and release “Illusions” as ONE DISC. No “My World”, no “Get In The Ring”, no covers, and no alternate lyrics because those are what the rest of the world call B-SIDES! Here’s the tracklisting cuz we’re pretty sure if you can’t figure out how to dress yourself these days, yer not gonna be able to wrap your brain around the sequencing of this baby either. Yeah, we’re just here to help… yer welcome Bill.“Use Your Illusion” Tracklisting

1) You Could Be Mine

2) Right Next Door To Hell

3) Don’t Cry

4) Pretty Tied Up

5) Perfect Crime

6) Civil War

7) Double Talkin’ Jive
Dead Horse

9) Locomotive

10) Dust N’ Bones

11) Garden Of Eden

12) Yesterdays

13) 14 Years

14) November Rain

15) Estranged

16) Coma

Yeah, it was about four months ago, but we figured we’d give you a report on our Coachella experience we had this year. We only went the first day cuz that was the day Travis DJ’ed in the dome with Troy Boy. The best part about Coachella this time was they gave Travis a trailer, and Danny Devito dropped a massive deuce in his bathroom, and then pounded beers with us. We told Danny he fucked ‘em up on “The View” and to call us the next time him and Clooney go trollin’. Jarvis Cocker put on a decent show, and was cool as shit when Travis cornered him toward the end of the night. But the real highlight for us was The Jesus & Mary Chain SLAYING and melting everyone’s faces off. We had high expectations and even some doubts as to whether those dudes could pull it off or not, and we’re happy to report that the JAMC brought their A-game. They sounded great, the guitars were loud as fuck, Jim looked like he couldn’t care any less (which is a good thing) and the new song (“All Things Must Pass”) was even pretty good. The only bummer was when they let that actor chick from Home Alone 3 on stage to mumble manly backups for “Just Like Honey”. All in all, we were stoked, and can’t wait for the record we hear they’re going to be putting out sometime in 2008. Should be fuckin’ cool if their live shows lately are any indication. On that note…

Dear William Reid,

Travis is still bummed out about you stealing his I-pod at that bachelor party, and we know you’re getting paid mad loot for all these festivals you’re playing… I-pod’s are like 300 bucks brother! Pony up and buy him a new one, and then maybe he’ll think about returning your calls asking where you can buy good weed.

Love,

Buddyhead

Amy Winehouse is a little high.

When we recently had the night off in Oslo, the fine folks from Serena Maneesh took us to see Sonic Boom play at a small club. Being big fans of Spaceman 3, we were pretty excited to see what homeboy was up to these days. To put things somewhat nicely, let’s just say he’s not up to a helluva whole lot. The first indication of the suckage was when we realized it was just gonna be him taping down keyboard keys and twisting knobs on a few delay pedals while he read gibberish from pieces of paper he had all over the place. Real exciting… NOT! Aaron figured the second song in was the perfect time to let homeboy know how rad the show was when he shouted point-blank at him, “SHIT YEAH, FUCK ‘EM UP SONIC BOOM! DELAY PEDAL SOLO! WOO!”

Devendra Banhart, guru of modern hippiedom, has a new album out called “Smokey Bowls Down Thunder Canyon” with more songs about elbows, moss, tree bark and bugs. The first line of the song we heard was, “I’m high, I’m happy and I’m free”. Yeah you are dude.

There’s really nothing quite like sucking mad dong and not even being aware of it. It seems to happen quite often in our hometown though. There’s an article in the new Vanity Fair titled “I’m with her!” that would have been more appropriately titled “I’m a massive DOUCHE!” The article discusses the shallow and clueless lives of Kevin Federline, Pete Wentz, Steve Aoki, Benji Madden, Cisco Adler, and Joel Madden. If you’re in the above photo, how could you not feel like a giant tard while posing next to Kevin Federline… or the rest of those posers for that matter? Wouldn’t some sort of Dorkus-alarm go off inside yer head when you rolled onto that set and that geek-squad was there? Apparently not. Check out these dweebs make total assholes of themselves here: http://www.vanityfair.com

We’ve got a new favorite band… Hell Yeah! Maybe you’ve heard of em? They’ve got members of Pantera, Damageplan, Mudvayne and Nothingface. We would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when these brainiacs came up with this shit. All the light blubs turning on at once must have been blinding. We highly recommend you watch this video of the band buying $1,000 worth of Jagermeister. It gets better with repeated viewings, we promise.

In related news Aaron, Travis, Sully, Josh, Uncle Scott and whoever else is cool enough are starting a new band called SHIT YEAH. We will be touring with HELL YEAH earlier next year. We will also be SHREDDING LEADS on axes that look like this:

No shit. Work has already begun on a double album that should be released sometime soon, most likely on Buddyhead. Here’s the tentative tracklist.1) Fuk ‘Em Up

2) Go Off

3) Big Titty Monster

4) I’m So Smoked

5) Motorboat Those Things!

6) You Motorboatin’ Son of a Bitch!

7) Deuce Condusive
Thrash Some Gash

9) Slobs

10) Slavs

11) Built for speed! (Fuck comfort!)

12) Stack ‘Em

13) Two 6’s Make a 12

14) Fucking Pelle

15) I’m a Little High

16) High As Shit

17) Spruced Goose and Caboose

18) Sorry I Go Off

19) “Double Talkin Jive” Is Possibly The Greatest Song Ever

20) Sick For Rocker Dick

21) Full Gulp Pull (that dark green bottle)

22) I’m A Motherfuckin’ Titty Suckin’ Two Ball Bitch, Yer Mama’s In The Kitchen Cookin’ Red Hot Shit!

23) Shiftin’ Like Garcia

24) Get Warmed Up (POSER!)

25) Drinkin’ Lesson 101

26) Plug It Out

27) Red Dragons

28) The Futbol Guy Had It

29) You’d Hafta Tazer Me Off That Thing

30) High As Shit (Reprise)Chris Pennie, formerly the drummer of The Dillinger Escape Plan, has recently joined the band Cokehead and Cheetohman. Good move slick. In related Dillinger news, they’ve recently wrapped up the recording of their newest album in LA, and Greg, the buff lil singer guy, is living at Aaron’s place while he’s in Europe. We know that Greg has been partying and getting weird with the crackhead trannys that live across the street in the park, and prolly even blowing loads on Aaron’s pillow but… Yo Greg, try not to bum out the neighbors by playing yer gay gonzo porn at deafening volumes like yer used to, cool? And don’t forget to water the plants.We interviewed a lil band called Goon Moon recently. It’ll be up in the next few days, hang tight. In related news, we’re in the process of finding out how to get rid of this guy…

…and bring back this guy.

Also, the rumors about Jeordie being “half black from the waist down” are true. Here’s some closure to that whole argument.

Even more Jeordie news, kinda… Dave Navarro has a cute little radio show on Indie 103, and a few weeks ago he had Jeordie “Crab Legs” White on as a guest. Dave talked about how him and Twiggy used to go off, how he still hates wearing shirts, and more importantly… us. Yep, it’s always back to us. At the beggining of 2006, Travis and Joe Burns thought it would be a great idea to call Dave Navarro every day. Nine times out of ten Dave would pick up the phone and be a good sport about it. The calls would usually start a little something like this… “YEAH DAVE WHATS UP? IT’S BUCKETHEAD, LET’S JAM ON “WHORES” RIGHT NOW BRO! ME, YOU, PERKINS AND THAT WEIRD SINGER DUDE FROM PANIC CHANNEL! YEAAAAH! GRAB ONE OF YOUR KILLER PARKER FLY AXES AND MEET US AT MATES, LEAVE THE SHIRT AT HOME!” Anyways, long-story-short we ran into homeboy on the fourth of July this year while party hopping, scoring free booze/cheeseburgers, and staring at Jenna Jameson’s weird new grill. To our surprise Dave’s actually a nice guy, and we’re pretty sure he was surprised we’re nice guys too. No, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Hey Dave, let’s party again brahma. Drinks on you. Anyways, check out the video clip of the show…

When Josh Freese isn’t busy watching old episodes of “24”, he’s freaking everybody out with these videos he makes. Check out the first three here: “The Cabin”, “Tijuana Boob Job” and our personal favorite “The Tommy Lee Waltz”. Shit gets all weird Euro style on the bus in the wee hours… dude’s are “a little high” and start lookin’ like this:

“The Tommy Lee Waltz”

“The Cabin”

“Tijuana Boob Job”

Speaking of T Lee… Yep, Tommy Lee is still the greatest man alive. For further proof, check out this video of him ruling the school. Tommy, let’s fuckin’ party you fuckin’ fucker! Call up Morello, Danny Lohner, and some chicks, and let’s NOT STOP THE PARTY! IT CAN’T BE STOPPED!

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Rick Embry got a new tattoo.

You just don’t fuck with DEVO man! And you really don’t fuck with Jihad Jerry. By the way, check out Jerry’s record “Mine Is Not A Holy War” and his website http://www.mineisnotaholywar.com/. Nu-Metal band Korn recently learned this lesson the hard way when they got blasted by Jihad Jerry for completely ripping off Devo, and their whole concept of de-evolution with their new single and video “Evolution”. Jerry responded with “Korn Runs Rampant w/ Devolution — No Nod to DEVO, we denounce this as imposters playing with fire. Gee, I’m sorry we thought up De-Evolution thirty years ago and have been putting it out there and preaching it ever since.’” NUKED!

Dean Ween goes off! You can not stop the Dean Ween party!

Jerry Cantrell love big jugs. We’re backing you on that one pal!

Dick Patrick quit that fake Stone Temple Pilots band Army Of Anyone, and has a new Filter record in the bag. He keeps telling Joe Burns that people care about Filter. Negatory on that one captain. Might wanna start up Non Inch Nails like we told you brother.

If you haven’t seen the Van Halen press conference yet, you are blowing it. Diamond Dave is back, and he’s on fire! The only bummer is we’re stuck with Wolfy instead of Michael “The Secret Weapon” Anthony. Oh well, you can’t have it all…

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Aaron wants it all! He can’t get enough! Maynard says The Lobster Tank is dead. Let’s bow our heads and have a moment of silence please…

The Lobster Tank

2003 – 2007

R.I.P.The new Unkle record is rad. They’re on tour and we get to see em in a few days. Yeah bitches, we win again!

08-11 Osaka, Japan – Summer Sonic Festival

08-12 Tokyo, Japan – Summer Sonic Festival

08-17 Hasselt, Belgium – Pukkelpop Festival

08-19 Biddinghuizen, Netherlands – Lowlands Festival

08-24 Paris, France – Rock en Seine

08-25 Reading, England – Reading Festival

08-26 Leeds, England – Leeds Festival

08-31 Delta Danube, Romania – Delta Festival

09-02 Stradbally, Ireland – Electric Picnic Festival

09-05 Tel Aviv, Israel – Fair Trade Convention (with Nine Inch Nails)

09-07 Isle of Wight, England – Bestival (James Lavelle DJ set)

09-29 Osijek, Croatia – Runway Festival (James Lavelle DJ set)

10-18 New York, NY – Webster Hall

10-19 Toronto, Ontario – Lee’s Palace

10-20 Chicago, IL – Metro

10-26 Los Angeles, CA – Echoplex

10-27 San Francisco, CA – Mezzanine

10-28 Las Vegas, NV – Vegoose Festival