It’s time to blow the lid off of the conspiracy: JACK WHITE IS MICHAEL JACKSON!

The evidence:

* Michael is commonly known in tabloids as "Jacko"; John Gillis is commonly known as Jack White.

* Jack sings in a high-pitched emotive tenor; Jacko sings in a high-pitched emotive tenor.

* Michael has been slowly bleaching his skin white; Jack White is white…and has long attempted to sing like an old black man.

* The new White Stripes album is called Get Behind Me Satan, Jacko would probably tell Satan the same thing, if he were a naked young boy.

* Michael attempted to buy the bones of the Elephant Man for millions of dollars; the previous White Stripes album was called Elephant and the duo signed to V2 for millions of dollars.

* Jacko’s trademark clothing colors are a red shirt and black pants; Jack’s trademark clothing colors are a red shirt and black pants.

* On the cover of Elephant, Jack — looking ghostly pale and heavily made-up — is wearing an ornate red cowboy shirt and black pants…strangely reminiscent of one of Elvis Presley’s outfits, whose daughter Lisa Marie Presley married and divorced Jacko. Michael Jackson is also known to wear ornate red and black outfits as well as too much makeup and once married Lisa Marie Presley, whom he probably thought was his younger sister. Jack still pretends that his ex-wife Meg White is his younger sister.

* Jacko got his start singing in the Jackson 5 a Motown (Detroit) act; Jack got his start playing in the Go, a Detroit band who wanted to be the MC5.

* Jacko is fascinated with little boys and childhood innocence; Jack is fascinated with childhood innocence.

* Jacko dangled his baby over the balcony of a hotel; Jack sang "The Big Three Killed My Baby"…Jack’s own record label is called Third Man. Did he, then, kill his baby?