THE ICARUS LINE IS ON TOUR… STILL…

Yeah The Icarus Line are still trekking across the states in the name of spreading lice with Dead Meadow (who smoke more weed that Cheech and Chong in Amersterdam) and 400 Blows (who, with The Icarus Line’s help, are trying to dwindle some of Columbia’s natural resources). The funny part is how goddam clueless and worthless their label (V2) is. Motherfuckers didn’t even send any posters to the venues! That’s some elementary shit! And even though they have the same press person The Strokes do, Shat gets more press than them now. Yeah V2 is doing what we call “DROPPING THE FUCKING BALL”, good work you fucking nimrods you’re doing nothing for a great record. One thing V2 has done, is given those motherfuckers a tour bus in The United States for the first time (and prolly the last time) in history. You know that some shit is gonna go down on that traveling mental ward, that’s for sure. The question is, whos going to jail first? If you come to one of the shows below, not only with you get rocked the fuck out, possibly get Aaron to suck you off, but you can also buy their new major label sell out debut, “Penance Soriee” for only FIVE BUCKS! Yep, they’re like giving back to the scene or some shit. They’ll also have some shirts with dickbrains on em. Buy stuff from them cuz these mother fuckers are dirt poor. Travis will be on the west coast dates starting with Vancouver, BC. Here are the dates .

07 07 04 – Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop (with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)

07 08 04 – London, ONT @ Call The Office(?!)(with Dead Meadow & 400 Blows)

07 09 04 – Detroit, MI @ Shelter (with Battles & Dead Meadow)

07 10 04 – Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave Bar (with Battles & Dead Meadow)

07 11 04 – Chicago, IL @ The Bottom Lounge (with Battles & Dead Meadow)

07 12 04 – Minneapolis, MN @ 7th Street Entry (with Battles & Dead Meadow)

07 13 04 – Des Moines, IA @ Hairy Mary’s (with Battles)

07 14 04 – Omaha, NE @ Ranch Bowl (with Battles)

07 15 04 – Lawrence, KS @ The Bottleneck (with Battles)

07 16 04 – Denver, CO @ Larimer Lounge (with Battles)

07 17 04 – Salt Lake City, UT @ Lo-Fi Cafe (with Battles)

07 19 04 – Vancouver, BC @ Richard’s on Richards (with Battles and The Evaporators)

07 20 04 – Victoria, BC @ Lucky Bar (with Battles)

07 21 04 – Seattle, WA @ Crocodile Café (with Battles and The Evaporators)

07 22 04 – Portland, OR @ Dante’s (with Battles)

07 23 04 – San Francisco, CA @ The Pound (with Battles and The Evaporators)

07 24 04 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Roxy (with Battles, Year Future, and The Evaporators)

07 25 04 – Anaheim, CA @ Chain Reaction (with Battles and The Evaporators)

07 27 04 – San Diego, CA @ The Casbah (with Battles, Year Future, and The Evaporators)

If The Icarus Line haven’t bummed you out yet, vote for em. They’re up for a few categories in the Kerrang Awards (see below), click here to vote.

Best International Newcomer

Best Single (Part The Baby Off)

Best Live Band

Best Album

Best Band on the Planet

Also go to www.fuse.tv and vote “KEEP IT” for The Icarus Line’s “Party the Baby Off” video. They’re up against six other videos chosen for OVEN FRESH. The 1/2 hour TV show plays all the videos and airs Monday -Thursday: 2am EST and 4pm EST (check local listings for times). Good thing we post all this shit for free cuz god knows a banner ad on our site would for sure bust V2’s bank.

WIRES ON FIRE STILL NEED YOUR HELP BOOKING THEIR SUMMER TOUR !!!!

Just back from their west coast tour, and already itching to hit the road again. Yeah these fuckers are doing it DIY style once more… but they still need some fucking help… so help out the fuckin’ scene or something, we’ll give you a cookie if you can help them set up a show, a place to stay, show them what boobs look like (they’re 18.. come on) or anything else, send em an email. Below is the itinerary for their summer of hell tour part 2. If you could help with booking a show, a place to stay, contact information of venues, where to pick up fifteen year old boys, or would like to promote this tour please contact [email protected]. Tour dates, still need help with “TBA”

July 30th, Friday- Austin – TBA

July 31st, Saturday- Houston – TBA

August 1st, Sunday- New Orleans – TBA

August 2nd, Monday- Gainesville, FL @ Common Grounds

August 3rd, Tuesday- Orlando, FL – TBA

August 4th, Wednesday- Atlanta @ Drunken Unicorn w/ The Letters Organize

August 5th, Thursday- Chapel Hill, NC – TBA

August 6th, Friday- Richmond, VA – TBA

August 7th, Saturday- DC – TBA

August 8th, Sunday- Baltimore/DC – TBA

August 9th, Monday- Philly – TBA

August 10th, Tuesday- Philly/off – TBA

August 11th, Wednesday- New Brunswick, NJ@ Basement Show w/ Listless Lovers

August 12th, Thursday- Brooklyn @ TBA

August 13th, Friday- Dayton @ Elbos w/ Wet Leather and The Vitamin

August 14th, Saturday- Louisville, KY @ Kewswick Democratic Club w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, and Read Yellow

August 15th, Sunday- Clevelend @ Strhess Fest w/ Thursday, Finch, Converge, etc.. www.strhessfest.com for more info

August 16th, Monday- Pittsburg – TBA

August 17th Tuesday- New York, New York @ Knitting Factory w/ Dillinger Escape Plan, Drowningman, and An Albatross

August 18th Wednesday- Indianapolis – TBA

August 19th Thursday- Ohama – TBA

August 20th Friday- Kansas City – TBA

August 21st Saturday- Denver @ Laramir Lounge w/ The Starvations *DAYTIME SHOW

August 22nd Sunday- Salt Lake City – TBA

YOUR ENEMIES FRIENDS ARE LEAVING TOWN FINALLY

Your Enemies Friends are all jumping in the van and hitting the road again. They’re headed out to Siren Fest and Hell Fest. Check em out if they come through your shitty town. Plus they’re headed to Norway soon and in the fall will be doing a tour with The Division Of Laura Lee.

July 8 Salt Lake City, UT – SHOW CANCELLED

July 9 Denver, CO Larimer Lounge 21+

July 10 Omaha, NE Ranch Bowl Ent’ment Center

July 11 Iowa City, IA Gabe’s Oasis

July 12 Chicago, IL Subterranean 21+

July 13 Detroit, MI Shelter at St. Andrew’s

July 14 Toledo, OH Headliners Toledo

July 15 Covington, KY Radio Down

July 16 Pittsburgh, PA Club Cafe 21+

July 17 Brooklyn, NY Stillwell Stage at SIREN FEST

(w/Blonde Redhead, The Thermals, …Trail of dead) YEF @ 1:30pm

July 18 Philadelphia. PA North Star Bar 21+

July 19 Cleveland, OH Grog Shop

July 20 Buffalo, NY Nietzsche’s 18+

July 22 Poughkeepsie, NY The Loft (w/The Bronx)

July 23 Elizabeth, NJ Hell Fest – Rex Plex Sports Complex YEF @ 5:40pm

July 24 New York, NY  The Knitting Factory (w/The Bronx, Hurry Up Offense, Read Yellow)

July 26 Columbia, SC Headliners Music Hall (w/Thursday, Stretch ArmStrong, Head Automatica)

July 27 Memphis, TN  The Caravan

July 28 Lawrence, KS The Bottleneck

July 30 Raleigh, NC Lincoln Theatre (w/ Thursday)

Aug 12 Oslo, Norway Oya Festival (w/ Spiritualized, Air, Deerhoof)

Aug 22 Los Angeles, Sunset Junction (Blonde Redhead, The Donna’s)

Speaking of… subscribe to AP this month and get a free Your Enemies Friends cd. Yeah they love us for hating them. Click here to do that shit.

Anyways, back to us… we’re in the LA Weekly again this week (well now it’s last week cuz Tom took two weeks to spell check and add to this), click here to read CURSE OF BUDDYHEAD!!!… it’s spine tingling kids!

In other news about us… Some brits are saying that Travis is now the 37th most powerful man in rock n’ roll. We’re not gonna argue…. That’s pretty good for not being able to pay your rent eh? Eminem is right under him at number 38. Read it and weep by clicking here or picking up the new Kerrang..

Speaking of Eminem… Do you remember when MTV reported that story of how Suge Knight showed up at the new 50 Cent video shoot with a bunch of dudes? Well, they made it out to look like he showed up, and promptly took the fuck off, like we do every time we go to some geek record release party where the open bar gets pulled after half an hour and we’d rather be dipping our balls in a broken glass/krazy glue mixture then hanging out with dudes who haven’t realized that singing about your “crush” makes you sound like a 13 year old boy who hasn’t hit puberty yet. Anyway, back to the story… well, the part that MTV forgot to mention is that when Suge showed up everyone ran the fuck out of there. MTV didn’t mention this, cause Eminem’s camp wanted the story squashed and you know, white rappers sell TV spots and aren’t as intimidating to Loder and Gideon.

Jeff Wood wanted to remind all of you how funny the name Loder is. Say it…. Loder.

What’s with Gideon taking off the glasses lately? And more importantly what’s up with that new beard he’s got, it’s giving us the creeps. Dude looks like he’s got a ticket booked to Taiwan for some little boy suckee suckee.

Oh and before we forget… since we’re talking about our boy Gideon… Ian Robinson kinda fucked him up in this little interview thing. Check it out here or instead of sifting through a bunch of words about metal and shit here’s the diss:

“20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name, and you give us your thoughts:

Gideon Yago = Gideon, who’s 25, always referred to himself as an “old school punk kid”, think about that statement and you’ll get a good idea of who he is.”

OK, now Gideon next time you get interviewed mention that Ian has more toys in his house then a 13 year old pimple faced nerd kid whose parents are worried that he doesn’t have any friends, and might grow up gay. Yeah dude, we saw his place on that bullshit show “Cribs” and our geek alarm went off. You can fuck with him on how he hangs out with the that dude who was in Lord of the Rings…cause we all know that shits about as cool as Cher live in concert. Ian keep fucking with Gideon about how he’s a poser, nothing pisses poser punkers off then being called on it. You two should mud wrestle.

So the guy that looks like an aging midget mixed with some sort of demon gnome you’d see on one of the Dio records in the 80’s, Lars Ulrich, missed playing at Donnington’s Download Festival in the UK. Now the official reason was stated as a health condition brought on by stress. Blah Blah, what those pussy rags out in that side of the world wouldn’t mention is this.; we hear that Lars didn’t have just a health condition, instead the dude did way too much blow on their private plane over to the UK and had to make an emergency stop cause dude thought he was going to die. Lars, stay away from the yellow blow, that shit’ll kick your ass!

If the fucking clown from Glassjaw says that his new band Head Automatica sounds like Primal Scream again, we’re going to have to remind everyone about his pooping problem one more time. Cut it out fruitcake.

Speaking of Primal Scream, Mani (also from The Stone Roses) is in a new side band with Peter Hook (New Order) and Andy Rouke (Smiths) which is going to be called either “Freebass” or “Stalingrad”. We say go with Freebase!

Ian Brown (Stone Roses) and Noel Gallagher (Oasis) have written and recorded a new song together that’s slated to be on Ian’s new record. Hopefully it’s not some gay Chemical Brothers bullshit like most of the Ian Brown solo shit is.

Joe Escalante (owner of Kung Fu Records) actually wears New Found Glory hoodies in public and isn’t embarrassed. But then again the dude also is somewhere around 40 and puts out pop punk records.

Hey Indie 103 FM… Yeah we’re talking to you… You guys are fucking pussies. Yeah we know everyone is licking your ass for some reason right now, but we’re blowing the whistle on you corporate rock posers. Here’s a NEWSFLASH: You guys wave the “Indie” flag so hard it’s fucking gross. Because being owned by Clear Channel is pretty fucking “Independent” man. And playing the fuck out of shitty major label bands like The Vines, The Thrills, The Stills, Snow Patrol, Foo Fighters, Auf Der Maur, Muse, Beastie Boys, and The Strokes is pretty fucking “Indie” as well. And in case you didn’t get the memo, putting on shows at The Key Club and The Viper Room is completely fucking lame, you’d be hard pressed to find a lamer venue in Hollywood than either. For those not in the know, The Key Club is a mix of MTV’s “the Grind”, and the Nookie video. No one wants to go to that piece of shit club, who wants to go where Methods Of Mayhem play every weekend? And The Viper room now looks like Dublins plus it ain’t even owned by Johnny Depp anymore so no ones cares at all now. Pull your fucking heads outta your pussies cuz you guys used to play some cool shit before you gave all those geriatrics their little shows. Don’t give us a show though, cuz we’re like young, run an INDIE label in Los Angeles and are in bands that tour. That’d be like lame dude. Plus our playlists (click here to see those) have bands on em that are good and that you’ve never heard… fuck that man! Who wants to hear new music that’s rad? Not you that’s for sure. Play that Beastie Boys song one more time geeks.

Speaking of whhhhhhack, Winner of the “LA Weekly’s Best Radio Show” and self proclaimed “inventor of punk rock”, Steve Jones, pays $250 for facials from the same person who does Jennifer Aniston. Yeah dude, that’s fucking punk. And your shows playlist blows for you being in Sex Pistols. Come to think of it quit announcing you were in the Sex Pistols every fifteen minutes, everyone knows man. And you guys didn’t invent punk rock, The Stooges did. You covered No Fun …so sit down old man. Plus, what have you done for the past 30 years besides trying to cash in on the past and creep out young chicks in Hollywood who have no idea who you’re alzheimers ass is anyway? Did we mention that you’re old? Dork.

And speaking of old dudes on INDIE 103, they gave Henry Rollins a show too. Great, now we get to hear that jock talk about how he used to be in a cool band (Black Flag) but since then all he’s done is make lame jock metal records, lame movies, and lift weighs. Thanks for that INDEPENDENT 103. You guys are rad!

BUDDYHEAD ON LITTLE RADIO EVERY MONDAY NIGHT

Buddyhead Radio is back on the airwaves folks! We shit you not! Every Monday night from 9pm til whenever he feels like it (or until we run out of beer), Travis Keller will be playing records and whatever else happens. Usually he’ll have a “special guest” with him, which means whoever gives him a ride to the station gets to be on the air too!!! You can listen to the show online @ Little Radio (http://www.littleradio.com) or on your FM radio @ 87.9FM if you are in Los Angeles (mainly the east side and Hollywood). Check out this temp radio page http://buddyhead.com/radio/ for updates. While the show is on air, you can instant message them at BUDDYHEADRADIO….

NEXT monday – 07/12/04:Jimmy Hey from All Night Radio (R.I.P.) will be in the studio to play some records.

Oh Boy, Have you seen the new Hives video? It’s so fucked. The creepy guy and the fat guy totally dominate the video… it’s like slightly worse then watching an amputee porno. And their new song is about as exciting as it is watching their bass player try and breath with all his body fat trying to silence him.

The retarded bass player from Korn with the pochahontis braids changed his rap bands name from Fieldy’s Dreams to Fieldy’s Nightmares… whatever dude… just put out another record soon please, that last shit was gold! Easily the funniest shit we’ve ever fucking heard. It’s like “you’re in Korn……..and you rap.” HAHAH. That rules, pure comedy.

Ashlee Simpson has to be the bitch with the least talent to ever grace a tv screen. The best part about the show is watching Jordan Shur (one of the main shitheads at Interscope) tell her she can’t fucking sing. Shit is priceless. The word on the street is one of those creepy twin teens from Good Charlotte is porking her now, they are officially the number one couple begging for a suicide bomber to jump in their SUV.

Glenn Danzig got knocked the fuck out. http://www.azpunk.com We had to laugh, it did kinda rule. Even though the level of retardation in that room was at an all time high, that shit was rad. Looking at that room of people in the video made us wonder: Is Danzig playing nuclear waste disposal centers on this tour or what?

Revolver must’ve realized that filling your magazine cover with 60-year-old hessians who need a B-12 injection just to stay awake during a photo shoot ain’t the way to win over the kids, because it’s launching an all mall-punk magazine called “Threat” this October. Looks like AP won’t be the only place 13-year-old future Republicans get to read about My Chemical Romance and Avenged Sevenfold anymore, but don’t worry dudes — someone forgot to tell both your magazines that mall punk is over.

Speaking of the before mentioned shitty bands, if we see anymore ads or articles or whatever it is that we’re seeing (cause usually we’re skimming as the bands covered in the magazine world are uber shitty these days), with those Avenged Sevenfold or My Chemical Romance dorks in it making gloomy evil faces, we’re going to run and dive headfirst into a pit of lions. HAVE YOU SEEN THESE MONGOLOIDS. It’s like if Hot Topic did a “MAKING THE BAND”, and that lame slut from Fuse TV was Puff Daddy.

Gene Simmons covering Prodigy’s “Firestarter” is quite possibly the worst song in the history of music. Dude totally lost the song. If you’re a KISS fan stop reading our site, we don’t want your kind round here! Stick to tractor pulls and corn dog eating contests. Fucking farmers.

Hey Matt Sorum, we saw you standing in the middle of Sunset stopping traffic so you could take pictures of your band’s lame band’s billboard that’s hanging on the side of the Whisky and that makes you a bigger dork than we originally thought you were. NEWSFLASH: You didn’t play on Appetite.

Speaking of idiots… Word on the street is one of the dudes in that band Plexi (who are also Mark Lanegen’s band and the dudes who were hired by Fred Durst to help him write new limpBIZkit songs) wanna kick the shit outta Travis cuz we posted that LimpbIZkit was practicing at Cole Rehershal and a bunch of people showed up. We only got one thing to say about that and it’s play like a pussy, get fucked like a pussy! The blood is on your hands man, NOT OURS!

Juliette & the Licks signed to Fiddler Records. Wow.. uh.. good work Fiddler. Word on the street is that Juilette likes to get FREAKY! We’re talking crazy shit like getting double teamed by two dudes at once and fist fucked as well. It sounds like she needs to tour with Shat…hey Julette, email Jeff, he’s down for the party [email protected] , he’ll stick a Cristal bottle in your ass, open it, and tell you about the time he got crabs, you guys will bro down on the crabs dude. Hopefully the dude who plays guitar for her and was in H2O doesn’t wanna rip our arms off now. That would totally suck. Having arms is rad.

Dead Meadow has some “exclusive” mp3s on the Matador site, oh hey look one of em is their song from “Buddyhead Presents: Gimme Skelter”, sweet! Click here

Wrangler Brutes (members of Born Against, Monorchid) signed to Kill Rock Stars, are gonna record their full length with Steve Albini, and plan tour in fall.

Now that Maynard is done with A Perfect Circle (‘cuz Tool’s getting ready to make a new record), everyone else is doing their own thing. Twiggy is gonna play second guitar for the Burning Brides (that means a few more goth kids at every Brides show), Josh Freeze is gonna play on like 80 different bands records, and James Iha is busy hanging out with models in New York City.

Also thanks to Chris Diaz who had Travis on his show two Wednesdays ago to play some records. Tune into hear Chris’s show every Wednesday from 2pm-6pm on KXLU 88.9FM or listening online via HERE (http://www.kxlu.com/). Also thanks to everyone who listened, called in, and Big Muscle for punching each other and playing two killer songs live on the show.

The Swami finally got his shit together and built a website that’ll brainwash you into liking good music. Click here.

Metal update, Isis has polished the fuck outta their hockey stick guitars so that when they entered the studio a few days ago, they were nice and shiney. They are working on their next album which will come out through Ipecac sometime around October 19th. They also have some new live cds, a cool remix 12 inch (that is sick), and prolly a whole lot more we don’t know about. Check their website for more info: www.sgnl05.com

More metal that we like.. which is rare. The Dillinger Escape Plan put out their new record on July 20th, it’s called Miss Machine. Buy it so that Tom doesn’t have to go back to slangin steaks and Ben doesn’t have to go back to putting his balls on Aaron Icarus. We’re not even gonna mention the monkey costume stories… Oh, and they’re on tour too.

07/07/04 Pinerella Di Cervia, Italy Rock Plant

07/08/04 Lecce, Italy Open Air Festival

07/09/04 Padova, Italy Radio Sherwood Festival

07/10/04 Moutier, Switzerland Knockout Festival

All Dates Below as part of the “F$#cking With The Lights On Tour” 2004

7/18/04 Baltimore, MD United States Otto Bar (w./The Bronx,

Drowningman, An Albatross, Decahedron,

7/19/04 Baltimore, MD United States Otto Bar w./The Bronx, Darkest Hour, Decahedron, The Violence Sequence

7/21/04 Boston, MA United States Middle East w./The Bronx, Read Yellow, Decahedron)

7/25/04 Elizabeth, NJ United States Rex Plex for Hellfest

7/26/04 Toronto, ON Canada Club Rockit w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Dechaderon, The Violence Sequence

7/27/04 Toronto, ON Canada Club Rockit w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Dechaderon, The Violence Sequence

7/29/04 Detroit, MI United States Shelter w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Dechaderon, The Violence Sequence

7/30/04 Cleveland, OH United States Grog Shop w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Dechaderon, The Violence Sequence

7/31/04 Chicago, IL United States Fireside Bowl w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Dechaderon

8/01/04 Chicago, IL United States Fireside Bowl w./The Bronx, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Read Yellow

8/03/04 Boulder, CO United States Fox Theater w./ Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow

8/06/04 San Francisco, CA United States Bottom of the Hill w./ Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow

8/07/04 Los Angeles, CA United States Troubadour w./ Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow

8/08/04 Los Angeles, CA United States Troubadour w./ Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow

8/09/04 Phoenix, AZ United States Mason Jar w./ Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow

8/11/04 Austin, TX United States Emo’s w./ Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow

8/12/04 New Orleans, LA United States Parish @ House of Blues w./ Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow

8/13/04 Spartanburg, SC United States Ground Zero w./ Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow

8/14/04 Louisville, KY United States Keswick Democratic Club w./ Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow, Wires on Fire

8/16/04 New York, NY United States Knitting Factory w./ Planes Mistaken For Stars, Daughters, Read Yellow

8/17/04 New York, NY United States Knitting Factory w./Drowningman, An Albatross & Wires on Fire,

8/20/04 Hasslet, Belgium Pukklepopp

8/21/04 Biddinghuzen, Holland Lowlands Festival

8/28/04 Reading, United Kingdom Reading Festival

8/29/04 Leeds, United Kingdom Leeds Festival

Oh and we heard Aaron Icarus is dating a new little lady by the name of “ MARY JANE”… you know “The Bombastic”, “The Chronic”, “The Sticky Icky”, “Ganja”, “El Reefer”, “Pot”, “Grass”, “Weed”, “MARAJUANA!” Welcome to the other side Aaron. Aaron is falling the fuck apart, it’s awesome. 50 bucks says in 6 months he’s blowing old fat dudes for his hourly dope fix, while dressed in pumps and garters. We’re on our way.

Calling all metal art fags with no money, this is your favorite show… Isis are playing a FREE show on July 29th Los Angeles, CA – Museum Of Contemporary Art July 30. SAN PEDRO, CA / HOUSE SHOW@ pun house on 4th Street.

Also check out the label Aaron (from Isis) runs with his bearded buddy Mark, called Hydrahead if you’re not already up on their shit. Dudes make the best looking metal records around. Make sure to check out that new Harkonen / These Arms Are Snakes split EP, shit is fucking sweeeeeeet! http://hydrahead.com/

Oh yeah and Mark from Hydrahead thinks it’s ok to wear his hair in a ponytail. Dude is tripping on the pony tail business. Shits for hippies and yuppies. Dio never rocked a pony tail Mark.

The Fruitbats over at 50-50.com (Hawaiian skate brahs) have posted the first photos of Christian Hosoi skating since the dude got outta jail. Skate or die kids!

http://www.50-50.com/absorb/articles/2004/hosoi_is_back.shtml

Our friend Narduwar, the greatest living music journalist, has posted some new interviews on his site. Including one with Franz Ferdinand and one with Ice Cube. If you haven’t explored his site yet, you’re blowing it. Also make sure to catch Nardwuar’s band “The Evaporators” on the west coast leg of The Icarus Line’s tour. Keep rockin’ in the free world! http://www.nardwuar.com/

A new Stone Roses double disc DVD is out (at least it is in the UK, not so sure about America) and it looks fucking rad! Shit comes with dolby digital 5.1 surround sound, features the Blackpool live concert, six promo videos, a bunch of TV performances, and interviews as well. Someone send us this now. Go….Do it….we’ll be nice to you. Probably not though.

Rilo Kiley have jumped the uber indie label of Saddle Creek Records and ended up over at EMI Records. Now they’re gonna bring the suck to non white people too!

Aaron Icarus likes Bright Eyes. He also likes sucking off big dicked black men, writing haikus about dolphin love and planting eucalyptis trees in the Los Angles area.

Saddle Creek Records have a new label sampler coming out next month called “PUSSY SONGS ABOUT PUSSY SHIT”.

Lollapalooza cancelled itself. At least one of our prayers were answered this month. Now if only Ozzfest and The Warped Tour would do the same.

Canuck disco spocks, Hot Hot Heat, are really stoked right now cuz they get to live in sunny and warm Los Angeles, California for a month or two while they make their next record with Dave Sardy. Yeah, the label thought they’d write better smash singles they can play on the radio if they came outta their igloos for a bit. Where you live sucks doesn’t it?

Aspera broke up.

Mall emo hippies, Coheed and Cambria, got picked up by some tone deaf A&R dude who works at Columbia Records. Sure can’t wait for their next record about comic books and being dorks or whatever it is they sing about. HEY HAS ANYONE NOTICED HOW BAD THIS BAND SUCKS, AND HOW ANNOYING EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT THEM IS???? Anyone? Anyone? This shit could easily be the house band at a Star Trek convention. IF YOU LISTEN TO THIS YOU’RE GUARANTEED NOT TO GET LAID. These dudes make Thursday look like Sabbath. Dork shit. Maybe the worst band on earth.

Simon Keeler likes to suck dudes off.

Mary-Kate (one of those Olsen Twins from Full House) is in the hospital cuz she thinks she’s fat yet she’s weighing in at about 50 lbs. Bitch is tripping. Word on the street is that the Church of Scientology and The Church of Satan have been pursuing the freak show twins.

People keep saying she has a coke problem, so Jeff Wood will be pursuing her now as well.

Sugarcult needs to learn the meaning of the word… music.

Ronald Reagan died. He was an actor that played the President in this movie. The movie sucked.

Amen still think they’re a “punk” band. No dudes, your band is what they call WHACK MALL PUNK! Break up, or give us your drugs so we’re nice to you, cause that’s the only reason anyone is nice to you. There’s nothing worse than trust funded 30 plus retards running around in Hot Topic gear claiming they’re punk. GIVE IT UP POSER!

Failed “singer” Bijou Phillips got dump by another “failed singer” Sean Lennon last week, so she jump on over and landed on Stephen Dorff’s cock this week.

Nick Cave’s DVD is set to drop May 4. The 20-track Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – The Videos features “Into My Arms,” “Red Right Hand,” “Deanna” and “Where the Wild Roses Grow,” Cave’s collaboration with Kylie Minogue

LA Label, Bomp Records (home to killer records by the likes of Dead Meadow, Beachwood Sparks, Iggy & The Stooges, and tons of others) made a weird (but exciting) choice and signed Swedish transplanted, LA glam band, “S’cool Gurls”!!! Yeah they are on a fucking label now! No shit! Let us tell you, we’ve partied at their house a few times and these guys are living the fucking dream. These dudes are insane, they have a whole wall of Kiss posters, which as lame as Kiss is, it’s almost so lame it’s kinda rad. These dudes also have some crazy weird “glitter rock” style, wear stick on glitter stars on their faces, jumpsuits, and go through hairspray like it’s going out of style… check this shit out for sure. Click here.

Courtney Love is losing touch with her mind, she’s claiming people are stealing her money. Lay off the coke babe, it makes you nuts. Well, more nuts. Courtney didn’t pay her website server bills, so the members of it’s “community messageboard” have started donating money to keep it alive. So far they’ve raised $3,000 and have $2,000 more to go. If you’re one of those dweebs that’s bummed we don’t have a message board anymore, help these people out and post your little thoughts there. http://www.kittyradio.com/

Omar’s solo record is coming out on GSL, it’s called “A Manual Dexterity – Soundtrack Volume 1”.

GSL is also putting out another EP by Sonny’s band, Year Future real soon called “The Hidden Hand”. Make sure to catch this band live if they come through your town.

The Makers are going in the studio June 21-27 to make a new record for Sub Pop records, lets hope they go back to kicking ass cuz those last two records FUCKING BLEW! Gimme some danger, gimme some rock n roll, gimme some Psychopathia Sexualis! Come on Mike Maker, give us the middle finger again, we tried of you blowing us kisses man! Get with it! Get fresh again!

Some dude actually proved that all Linkin Park songs are the same, like you didn’t already know, by putting two of their singles (one in the left speaker and one in the right speaker) into one mp3. Click here for the suck.

Speaking of beating a dead horse, Braid are back together for one more money making emorific tour. If you’re bald, lame, and sensitive, you’re not gonna wanna miss this homoerotic show of male bonding. Sweater-vests and dick sucking will be in full effect at this thing.

A little band from Texas released an album called “Men Are the New Women” which in English translates into “WE LIKE TO BLOW DUDES”. They’ve also released an accompanying guide and log with the album showing how to record an entire acoustic album for free and how to record yourself (just as they did), in hopes anyone else out there who cares enough to want to know can learn how to do it. They want little… except for you to visit their site http://www.laslow.org.

If you’re not into The Jesus And Mary Chain, you should be. Start with “Psychocandy” and work you way up, they don’t have a bad record (besides that weak live bbc record that came out this year). Just to fill up some space on this page we figured we’d post some amazing quotes from Jim and William Reid. This is rock n’ roll folks.

Jim Reid:

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On stage, we’re one of the sexiest groups you can imagine. Three of four reasonably young guys in leather rolling around showing their backsides to the audience. All I know is that we get tons of screaming young girls. If a gig doesn’t have sex, there’s something wrong.

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When it comes to a boy meets girl situation, I’m not in the least bit romantic. Romantic to me means that you build up an idea of something and nothing touches it. I tend to get romantic about things like Hell’s Angels, you know, motorbikers that wear dirty black leather. People are too complex to get romantic about. I’m romantic about Rock N Roll music; to me Rock N Roll is a very romantic idea.

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I know it sounds like a complete cliche, but I’ve always been a big Velvet Underground fan, and the effect I want to have on people is the effect it has on me looking at pictures of Lou Reed, John Cale and Sterling Morrison in 1966. The photographs of them in Andy Warhol’s Factory contain just about everything that made their music so awesome. That’s what we’re trying to do — our words, our music, our photographs. It should all be that one thing.

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I think the whole surf thing had a lot of potential… I mean, think of the Beach Boys brilliant songs, but look at the way they dressed, look at the way they produced their records. It should have been a gang of Hell’s Angels that made surf music.

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The best thing that could have happened to the Rolling Stones was if they’d have met Charles Manson in ’69 and he could have hacked their heads off with a chainsaw.

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I’m embarassed to tell people what I do with my life, to think that what I do is the same as what Eric Clapton does. He’s raping it, he’s puking on it, he’s pissing on it. For that reason I don’t want to be a part of it.

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They write encyclopedias on the Eighties and we’re not even mentioned. We WERE the fucking eighties.

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Guitars look good. That’s all we really care about. They look good, they make good sounds. You don’t really need to sit down and learn to play the fuckin’ thing. That would be three or four years of your life wasted. You should be doing a gig the day you get your first guitar.

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WORST PLACE?

“I stayed in a lot of shit holes, but the worst was this place in Fulham. It was a big house and would have been comfortable for a family of four, but there were just all these little bedsits. It was horribly grimy and dirty. Really unclean.”

WORST FEATURE?

“The other people. There was this psychotic Scottish drug dealer who used to come in with blood all over his face. Then there was this woman down the hall who used to have arguments with herself. You’d hear her shouting “BAAAASTARD!” and throwing things around in her room, but she lived on her own. Must have been schizophrenic.”

CHANCES OF STUDENT SURVIVAL?

“Well, you’d have to be pretty tough. I remember one time when William came round to have a bath, and he was getting out of the bath just as the door got kicked in by the mad Scottish drug dealer. He’d got blood all over his face and needed to wash it off. He just said “WAGHYOUSEDOINMAAAGHBATHROOM?”. You’d get out of there quick. Having said that I lived there for years.”

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“…but it’s easy to be exciting onstage. You could walk onstage with a gun and shoot a dog. That’s exciting, but so what?… Excitement is easy, you just walk on with a road drill and destroy the stage. But anybody can do it. And if that’s what you’re into buy a road drill and a stage and do it yourself!” – NME / Sporran Co-Despondents / September 24, 1994

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William Reid:

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I’ve never felt comfortable on stage — never. Playing live is the biggest contradiction. Everything we do in the studio may sound spontaneous, but it’s not. It takes time. I’ve always hated other people’s songs played live too. I just hate gigs.

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After us, the perfect record is ‘I Wanne Be Your Dog’ by the Stooges, but the horrible guitar solo fucks it up.

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Bo Diddley wrote ‘Who Do You Love’ in 1955 and I don’t know if you can make out the words on our version, but they’re like pure evil. These days they would be considered grossly offensive, too evil for mass consumption. And this was released in the day of Doris Day and Perry Como…

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Whenever my girlfriend wears tights, I refuse to see her, I put her on the first train back to Hornchurch and tell her to come back wearing suspenders.

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There has never been a riot at any of our gigs. You get the odd clown who thinks he’s Rambo, doing tap dances on the mixing desk. I hate it, I despise it. We’re trying to present ourselves as serious, not a Cockney Rejects Oi Oi type of group.

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Sacrifice myself for rock’n'roll? Fuck off – Vox, February 1992

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There’s nothing worse than waking up next to someone you don’t even know or like.

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I think success isn’t necessarily a good thing. Look at U2. What will they ever do to top Zoo TV? And look what happened to Kurt Cobain. That guy should’ve been a bus driver. He would’ve been alive until he was 87. – CMJ: New Music Monthly, January 1995

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A lot of times we’re just awkward, fucked-up little idiots – RAYGUN magazine, September 1994

Devendra Banhart is on tour with Joanna Newsom, Vetiver. Get your hippy on!

Thu 7/8/04 Hollywood, CA – in-store at Ameoba Music at 7PM

Fri 7/9/04 Los Angeles CA – NEW VENUE! Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions [6522 Hollywood Blvd., 323-957-1777]

Sat 7/10/04 Sacramento CA – Old Ironsides [1901 10th St, p 916-442-3504]

Sun 7/11/04 San Francisco, CA – Great American Music Hall [859 O' Farrell St, p 415-202-9815/415-202-9816]

These Arms Are Snakes are hitting the road. Tell em we sent you.

7/9 – 7/24 w/ Murder By Death, Paris Texas, and Communique (except 9/5)

July

9: Portland, OR @ Solid State Cafe (624 E Burnside)

10: Seattle, WA @ Graceland (109 Eastlake Ave E)

11: Los Gatos, CA @ Los Gatos Outhouse (4 New York Ave)

12: San Francisco, CA @ 12 Galixies (2565 Mission St)

13: Goleta, CA @ Hard to Find Showspace (7190 Hollister Ave)

14: Pomona, CA @ Glass House (200 W 2nd St)

15: Los Angeles, CA @ Echo #B (1822 Sunset Blvd)

16: San Diego, CA @ Epicentre (8450 Mira Mesa Blvd)

17: Tucson, AZ @ Skrappy’s (201 E Broadway)

18: Phoenix, AZ @ Modified (407 E Roosevelt)

19: Albuquerque, NM @ Launchpad (618 Central Ave SW)

21: Houston, TX @ Mary Janes Fat Cat (4216 Washington)

22: San Antonio, TX @ Sanctuary (1818 N Main St)

23: Austin, TX @ Emo’s Alternative Lounging (603 Red River Rd)

24: Dallas, TX @ Gypsy Tea Room (2548 Elm St)

7/26 – 8/3 w/ Since By Man, Paris Texas, and Communique (except 7/29, 8/3 & 8/5)

July

26: Des Moines, IA @ House of Bricks (3839 Merle Hay Rd)

27: Rock Island, IL @ UAW Hall (4511 4th Ave)

28: Chicago, IL @ Fireside Bowl (2646 W Fullerton Ave)

29: Milwaukee, WI @ The Cactus Club (2496 S Wentworth)

30: Madison, WI @ Terrace (800 Langdon St)

August

1: St Louis, MO @ Creepy Crawl (412 N Tucker St)

3: Denver, CO @ Rock Island (1614 15th St)

September

5: Seattle, WA @ Seattle Center Exhibition Hall “Bumbershoot Festival” (305 Harrison St)

Starlite Desperation on tour.

JULY 9      San Diego, CA-Casbah-w/Red Onions

JULY 12     Denver, CO-Larimer Lounge

JULY 13     Lawrence, KS-Jackpot Saloon

JULY 14     Omaha, NE-ranch Bowl

JULY 15     Minneapolis, MN-Triple Rock

JULY 16     Milwaukee, WI-Cactus Club

JULY 17     Chicago, IL-Subterranean

JULY 18     Detroit, MI-Lager House

JULY 19     Cleveland, OH-Beachland Tavern

JULY 20     Hoboken, NJ-Maxwell’s-w/Psychedelic Furs

JULY 21     Brooklyn, NY-Southpaw-w/The Fresh Kills

JULY 22     Asbury Park, NJ-Astbury Lanes

JULY 23     Philadelphia, PA-North Star-w/Greenhornes

JULY 24     New York, NY-Bowery Ballroom-w/Dirt Bombs

JULY 25     Boston, MA-Middle East-w/Weirdos

JULY 26     Baltimore, MD-Ottobar

JULY 27     Wash. DC-Black Cat-w/The Cougars

JULY 29     Carboro, NC-Go Studios

JULY 30     Jonesboro, GA-Breakers Music Hall-w/The Hiss

JULY 31     Atlanta, GA-Echo Lounge-w/The Hiss

AUG. 1      Nashville, TN-The End

AUG. 3      Birmingham, AL-The Nick

AUG. 4      New Orleans, LA-One Eyed Jacks

AUG. 5      Houston, TX-The Axium-w/Bring Back The Guns

AUG. 6      Austin, TX-Emo’s

AUG. 8      Dallas, TX-Gypsy Tea Room         

AUG. 9      San Antonio, TX-Sin 13

AUG. 10     EL Paso, TX-Moontime Pizza

AUG. 11     Tucson, AZ-Hotel Congress

Wives will be playing shows all over California this summer til their debut LP/CD “Erect The Youth Problem” is released on Sept. 21, 2004 on Coldsweat Records, and then they’ll be touring like for reals.

JULY 27-Los Angeles, CA @ The Smell          w/Mae Shi

JULY 29-Santa Barbara, CA @TBA               w/Moving Units

JULY 30-San Diego, CA @ TBA                    w/Moving Units

AUG. 12-San Francisco, CA@TBA               w/Moving Units

AUG. 13-Sacramento, CA @TBA                    w/Moving Units

AUG. 14-Santa Cruz, CA @TBA                    w/Moving Units

If you need a kick ass website built and have some cash money, we think you should hire DREW, he designed the all night radio interview for us (click here). Check out his website dudes… www.oakandelm.org

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