Every once in a while we stumble across a band that just blows the doors off all of our preconceived notions of them with a simple chaotic swipe of a guitar and a harmonized shriek into a mic. Planes Mistaken for Stars happens to be on that inadvertently short list. The night that we spent with these lads was nothing short of an escapade. After their unexpectedly intense performance, we all found our way to an abandoned couch around back of the venue and shot the shit about everything from bands that sound like modern day versions of a-ha to just not letting life pass you by. All this while everyone took turns pissing on the wall. The conversation was soon concluded in a nearby diner where the tales relayed to us left us nothing less than completely open mouthed. When the inescapable and reoccurring topic of Danzig popped up, including the exact location of his house, a field trip immediately ensued. Upon arrival at the domain of the “Dark Lord” a spontaneous photo shoot took place to prove attendance. Afterwards, goodbyes and promises to hang out soon were made with our newest of friends, as they all piled into their touring machine and headed toward their next destination of destruction. The following interview was one of the most entertaining and insane story relaying experiences we’ve ever been a part of. Do yourself a favor and don’t stop reading until you’ve reached the end. If you are a smidge prude, you may not want to head that far though.
Interview by Aaron & Travis. Photos by Travis.
Buddyhead: What are your names and what instruments do you play in the band?
Mike: My name is Mike Ricketts and I play the drums.
Matt: My name is Matt Bellinger and I play guitar and scream.
Jamie: My name is Jamie Drier and I play bass.
Gared: Gared O’Donnell, I play guitar and sing.
Buddyhead: How old are all you guys?
Gared: All like 22, 23, 23, 24.
Buddyhead: You guys are from Colorado correct?
Jamie: We’re originally from Peoria, Illinois, but now we’re from Denver.
Buddyhead: Why did you guys move?
Jamie: Peoria is just a dead little town. It’s really rough living there, a lot of our friends were dying and stuff, getting into really heavy shit. It’s just really lethargic there. It sucks. I don’t really know how to explain it. There’s a lot of rad people there. It’s really hard to do what you want to do. We were all born and raised there and I never really felt welcome there, and that’s where I’m from. Also touring wise… we just want to tour as much as we can, so geographically we were looking for something more convenient and Denver is right in the middle of the U.S. We can get to the West Coast that much easier because the drives were so long to get to the West Coast before, and we can drive out to the East Coast because there are lots of places to play in between. It’s kind of isolated so we can call our own shots and do what we want to do.
Buddyhead: Do you guys like it there?
Gared: Yeah, it’s beautiful. There’s no predominant scene or anything like that.
Buddyhead: What kind of bands are from there?
Gared: Angelhair was from there, they rule. Acrobat Down, Ice Pool, No Place for a Hero. No Place for a Hero is like Fifteen mixed with Hotwater, they’re real good. Acrobat Down are like, imagine if The Get Up Kids were good. (laughs) If The Get Up Kids were good and they weren’t so sickening. If the Get Up Kids had balls. Guts and balls.
Buddyhead: What is your take on all the current contrived/pandering/emo/wuss rock parody stuff?
Gared: Wuss rock? Cute-boy rock? The thing is, if I wanted to listen to that, I have Ah-ha records at home. I have fucking all those records, The Cars, all that is great shit and some of those bands are pretty kick-ass. I’m not trying to de-validate their merit as musicians, they can all obviously write good pop songs, but it bores me. I’ve heard it a million times before. And it’s not like we’re so innovative because they can say the same thing about us like, “oh we’ve heard three-chord punk rock before” ya know? The image is just sort of bleah, it’s not really the band’s fault. It sort of nauseates me.
Buddyhead: How do you guys react to people saying, “oh that’s that band that was on that Emo Diaries comp, they must be like one of those bands”?
Gared: Well, we get that a lot. We do get that and it’s kind of good because a lot of people write us off, they expect us to be like, “oh, my soul is broken, I love life and I hate myself.” They think that’s what we’re going to be about, all the jingle-jangle and then we just blow the roof off the place. Not that we’re so great or anything, we’ll spit on each other and be like arghh! We’re just rockers, we’re rippers man. I think it’s worked to our advantage in a sense because if kids came to the show and they thought we were going to be like that, that’s just what they’d leave remembering, “oh, I was right.” But if they come to the show with these preconceptions and then we just fucking rock out and it’s the exact opposite of what they think, then they’ll remember that because they were surprised. Their preconceptions were blown.
Buddyhead: Were you guys surprised when that record came out? Did you know it was going to be called that?
Gared: No, we knew it was going to be called that and I was familiar with, I think the first one. In fact I bought the first one a long time ago because there was a Samiam song on there that was unreleased and I’m really into Samiam’s older stuff. He wanted us to be on it and I was just kind of like, “ahhh,” and this was right at the same time he was re-releasing our self-titled, ep that we put out ourselves so I was like, “ok.” It was really cool because we got e-mails and letters from Japan and Australia, this and that. Not everybody’s born with Los Crudos patches on their ass. The thing is that it’s just fucking great that however cheesy it comes off, kids will pick it up and be like, “whoa.” I’ve said this before, I bought my first punk rock records at Sam Goody. Not everybody’s that cool when they’re starting out and that’s the thing· it was really good because it reached a wider audience. If that draws kids into our thing and they can hang with it, that’s fucking beautiful.
Buddyhead: I kind of got a weird vibe when I called your label. I was like, “yeah this band we’re interested in doing an interview with is coming out and they’re on your label, we were wondering if we could arrange some time?” And they were like, “Oh, ah, yeah, I think they’re on tour, we haven’t really talked to them… we don’t know. We don’t know how to get a hold of them, if you talk to them, tell them to call us cos we haven’t heard from them.”
Gared: (laughing) That label is just John, he has one guy that works for him, he’s an intern that just started working there. We’re not really irresponsible, but we’re all space-cases. We’re all over the place. I don’t even know half the time where we’re playing the next day. Usually whenever any of us talk to John, we just want to talk to him about whatever bullshit· I mean it’s definitely a label-band relationship, a working relationship, but when we call him up we’re not like, “How many units have you moved?” I call him up and will be crackin’ up and talking shit. Like, calling his answering machine at four in the morning and sing him songs. It’s just like how you deal with your friends. He fucks with us and we fuck with him. He’s a beautiful guy.
Buddyhead: Are you happy with your label situation? Like usual, it’s seems like people want to talk shit about a label like yours because there’s nothing better to do.
Gared: People are just chumps man. All the kids who talk shit, like real shit about bands. I mean, we’re bullshit, we just get up there and sing. But we’re just being facetious. All the kids who talk all this shit and start all these rumors, they’re usually fucking nerds. They don’t do anything but sit in front of the computer all day and say, “oh my God, can you believe that one of the guys from whatever band said boobie!” Who gives a fuck what label we’re on? You either like our music or don’t like our music. Who fucking cares? Our record should stand alone. If you hate it, you hate it, throw bottles at it. If you love it, then fucking dance, sing along and have a good time. The music we play and write is for us. We’d keep on doing it if every person on the fucking planet hated us. But at the same time it makes it that much better and the work much more to us if people can relate. If they can hang with it and it touches them, then that’s fucking great. As far as kids talking shit about us, fuck Îem. What label doesn’t get talked about? In the long run, what label is cool and what label isn’t cool? There really isn’t. There’s no difference. All the labels that are on this level are generally the same. All the labels that are on the next level are most generally the same. I’ve heard of people gettting ripped off by Bob’s Garage records, ya’ know, some kid who is just working out of his house and ripping people off. And I’ve heard of big labels ripping off people. John just puts out music that he likes, regardless of whether we like all the bands on the label or not, it’s honestly stuff that he likes and moves him. And he was fucking stoked on us enough to wanna put out our record and that just fucking makes us happy that he cares enough about what we were doing to help us out. He stands behind all of his releases and that’s great. I mean, I can’t say that I fucking love every record on the label, but there’s not one label on earth that I love every record on. It just doesn’t work that way. I love lots of the guys in the bands on the labels, they’re fucking some of the greatest people I’ve ever met. John’s a kick-ass guy and all I can say is for all those chumps who have nothing to say, go start a band.
Jamie: Do something constructive. If you don’t like a label then go start your own label. If you don’t like the bands on the label, then go start your own band. Quit talking shit because that doesn’t mean anything. That’s just words and words are totally inconsequential. Do something. Show us a sign that you’re alive, that you’ve got something to say and something to do. Even if it’s fucking anger. Get all that shit out. If you have something to say, then fucking start a band, say it into the fucking microphone. Or step up to people and say it to their face.
Buddyhead: Are there any bands right now that you guys like?
Matt: Oh, there’s a fucking shitload. Open Hand was good, they’re super good. No Place for a Hero, Sorry About the Fire, there’s a lot of bands. I could go on for an hour, This Machine Kills, whatever, there’s a fucking million bands.
Buddyhead: How would you guys describe what you’re about?
Gared: We’re just fucking rock dude, I don’t know. You can’t think too much about how you want your band to be perceived because then you’re bullshit. You become contrived. If you think about it too much, you’ll stretch yourself out and pop a gasket. I want to be perceived as “bullshit freak.” That’s why there are so many bands that I love, not even necessarily because of their music, but just their whole attitudes. Like Avail, I’ve always had a lot of respect for them because they’re seamless and they’re timeless, you can’t lock them into anything. Same thing with Jawbreaker, same thing with Hotwater.
Buddyhead: I think I saw a Jawbreaker tattoo on you didn’t I?
Jamie: Yeah. There are so many bands that are so fucking good right now, I forgot the question. What I want out of it the most is to be able to rock out with these three dudes and be able to travel as much as I can. And other people will get into it and like it and that stokes us out. It just makes us happy and blush. Just as long as I can keep playing music with these guys and hopefully other people will appreciate it.
Buddyhead: You said Avail and Jawbreaker were not associated with one specific scene, it seems like you guys are kind of similar to that.
Gared: Yeah, that’s one thing we almost try to do. When we moved to Denver, and it’s this way everywhere, we noticed there was a lot of segregation in the community, and so we were getting on bills with all kinds of different bands. Like the Messyhairs, they have a different following than other bands would in Denver, and are just trying to play a bunch of different shows. And we were noticing that the kids at all those different shows like us and they dig what we’re doing, so then hopefully that can just bring more people together, because that’s how it should be anyway. I don’t think that we are premeditated as far as us saying, “let’s sound this way, let’s do this and let’s not do that.” We just kind of took the natural route of what we were comfortable with as long as it was anything on our terms. A lot of people were really flipped out because of the fact that we moved out of the Midwest because that was like the “ultra hot-spot” or something for “emo” music, or whatever that crap is. I don’t know, we just didn’t like what was there. There was even people who wrote, I saw something in some guest book or something, who said that we moved to Denver so that we could be a part of that scene there. At the time, when we got there, we were like, “what scene?” It wasn’t anything like that. We don’t even concern ourselves with that bullshit. People just crack me up.
Jamie: We’re just all close friends who have been hanging out for a really long time. This is the only thing that we can do that feels valid and honest and it keeps each other alive. We don’t give a fuck about scenes or any of that crap. We just want to come meet as many people as we can, and anybody that wants to fucking join in and give us part of their life and we give them a part of ours, then that’s fucking beautiful. We just want to expand and network and bring as many people together as we can and make sure we don’t ever get a big head about anything. I think a lot of people do that, and they just become assholes and pricks and that’s not what fucking punk rock is about. Like we said, it’s about meeting people. I’ve talked to bands and it’s like what do they think, they’re Christ with a guitar? Fuck Îem. They’re the same as they ever were.
Gared: There are a few people who I’ve met who are more established or whatever, who I get a little bit nervous around… not because I think, “oh my God, this is the Messiah of rock,” it’s nothing like that, it’s because I’ve thought about them a bunch. I’ve learned about them through their records and their lyrics and their hotlinks, whatever, I’ve thought about them. And you go out there, and you have an idea of who they are and they have no idea who you are, so you’ve got this conversation piece stuck in your head so you’re spouting out shit. But, fuck people who think they’re the shit. As soon as you separate yourself from the audience, then you’re just a fucking turd. There’s not one person who holds any more weight than another in this whole fucking world. There’s people who are a little bit more enlightened, thank God, I mean it’s fucking great to meet people who you can fucking bro down with and not have to worry about whatever, but there’s people who are a little bit more enlightened and a little bit smarter in this world, but nobody’s worth any more than the next guy.
Buddyhead: Speaking of meeting people and stuff, how is this tour treating you guys?
Matt: There’s a lot of dumb stuff that has bummed us out, like van problems, money problems, this and that, but as far as people, I don’t know… maybe every band has this happen to them, but I feel like we’ve had an amazing stroke of luck in meeting people who genuinely care about us. They put us up, feed us and get bummed when we leave and vice versa. And that’s the best feeling. We’ve gotten extremely lucky, we’ve been meeting very cool people. We were just here a few months ago and it’s really nice to see familiar faces and go some places and see more kids come out than came out last time, and some it’s not as many. And it’s really cool too, the people who come out, it’s rad, they’re there to see us. That’s really insane to me, I think it’s like anyone else, I mean the fact that anyone would care about what we’re doing as much, well, not as much as we care about it, but the fact that they care at all. The fact that they’ll spend their time hanging out with us, pay to get into a show, or buy our cd or our record, that’s just cool. That’s just really cool. It’s really cool too because so far we’ve booked all of our own tours and you get to talk to people before you go there and you get a feeling of how it’s going to be. And there’s always a few spots that don’t really turn out the way you wanted them to, but you learn lessons from it. We just won’t go back there the next time.
Gared: It seems like for us the smaller towns, they’re just so much better. For us, we’ve dealt with a lot of assholes in bigger towns who don’t care as much because they’re spoiled on so many bands coming through. So when we go to a smaller city, they’re excited, they want to do it, they want to have a good time. And that’s the atmosphere we come from, coming from Peoria, so it just fits better. The kids who are in the bigger places seem a little bit more apathetic and more like, “oh, impress me” and have attitudes· and when we go to the small towns, people are like, “whoa” and they go ape-shit because they’re stoked that anyone would even bother to come to their town because it’s perceived as a shithole… and those are the places that we’ve been best. (laughs) At the shitholes.
Buddyhead: You guys seem really loyal to your “fans”.
Gared: We have this thing called the “Fucking Fight Club”. It’s just like this thing, they send us $20 and then we send everything we put out and all the limited vinyl we have, like our new record we have 50 of them on white vinyl with white covers that we hand screened and splattered red paint… it looks like blood all over them. And whatever, we send out newsletters and shit. And also our website headquarters, www.headqrtrs.com … it’s like, our band and all of our friend’s projects and lots of whatever…
Buddyhead: Do you guys have a full-length album out?
Gared: No.
Buddyhead: Are you going to do one of those soon?
Jamie: We’re going to try. We’re going to be touring until June 24th and then we’ll probably take a week or two away from each other, we’re all going to live with each other, so probably not too far away from each other, but we’ll keep our distance. Just calm down and then start writing.
Buddyhead: So, an album by the end of this year?
Gared: End of this year, early next year. Maybe even a 7″ or two before that. Who knows.
Buddyhead: Did I hear an Unbroken cover or something like that on your cd?
Jamie: Yeah, it’s a hidden track on our newest ep.
Buddyhead: What possessed you guys to do that?
Gared: Three of us really grew up listening to that band and they just meant a lot to us and that 7″ is fucking awesome and I got a tattoo from this little business card thing that they had inside of it. And then when Eric Allen died it just sucked. We didn’t know that guy but their band meant a lot to us. They were one main reason that we wanted to start a band. And around the same time one of our best friends had just overdosed and we just bummed out and it just seemed fitting for us to do that, do it as a hidden track.
Jamie: I didn’t know the guy, but you hear that story a lot and it just sucks when it happens to anybody, especially in this community. It sucks, it’s kind of like a tribute to our friends and a tribute to anybody that’s still fucking kicking. Because the thing is, that guy had so much fucking talent and he was such a fucking brilliant musician. Everything he did was fucking extra good. For me, these guys (in the pmfs) were always way more into Unbroken than anything. I was so into doing it because it meant a lot at the time. It was kind of like a testament to staying alive and a reminder to people, ya’ know? Everybody’s got a fucking gift, regardless of what it is, that’s just humanity. Everybody can fucking do something, whether it’s fucking brighten somebody’s day, or put out a fucking kick ass record, or whether it’s fucking whatever, painting a pretty picture. Everybody’s got something and you shouldn’t squander that, you shouldn’t throw it away because we’re only on this rock for so long. And that song just fucking hits it right on the head, lyrically it’s just fucking amazing.
Buddyhead: Is there anything that you want to tell people who might not know what you’re about?
Gared: Send us your Leatherface records.
Jamie: Yeah, like… people should remember that if they’re going to stay involved in all of this, they should always stay involved. Do more than wear a fucking backpack and go to a show. Do more than just stand there, don’t let your life pass you by. I just remember when I was a kid going to shows, it was like, that was what you do, you meet up with all these like-minded people and you converse and exchange ideas and you just fucking dance, move to the music and support your friends. It seems like lately, in the last few years, things have gotten really lethargic as far as shows, like there’s a real separation between band and audience and that makes me kind of sad. I remember going to shows and people surrounded bands and everybody danced and didn’t give a fuck. Now everybody’s all worried about what kind of shoes you have on and if their friends are going to make fun of you for looking silly. We’re all fucking stupid. We’re all human and there’s nothing you can do about it and everyone’s a dork and everyone’s whatever, just fucking be yourselves. When you go see bands, try to be emotionally involved, if you don’t like them, then fucking tell them. People just need to remember to put forth some energy and step to people. Remember that it doesn’t have to be lethargic. In any other scene, like the Hip-Hop scene or anything, everybody goes to shows and that’s where family comes together. It’s all people wanting to be together and they dance and have a good time and they get out all their frustrations; and that’s how you build. That’s how you feel better about yourself, meeting other people who let you know you’re okay and it’s okay to be how you are. Punk rock shows, it’s supposed to be punk rock! It’s supposed to be fucking challenging things and scaring people, not in a bad way, but it’s supposed to be a positive eye-opening experience. A change from the rest of mediocre society and the shit that you’re forced to do. And it seems like people forgot about that because it’s turned into this weird fashion thing and everybody talks shit about each other. If they would just cut loose and let down some of those barriers and dance and have a good time, complacency is completely fucking unnatural. We’re human beings, we’re always in constant motion and the minute you just fucking stand still, I don’t mean you have to go ape-shit every time a band plays, but the minute you fucking stand still and only think about your fucking self, is the minute you fucking die.
Gared: Like the lyric on “Fucking Fight”, the last line is, “where’s the life in living if only to breathe?” Basically the whole premise of that song, so many people tell you how life is supposed to be, so many people have these answers that they think are fucking concrete, like the other line goes, “and everyone knows how to smooth through their days.” But that’s fucking bullshit, the minute you stop learning is the minute you fucking die. The minute you stop moving is the minute you die. And nobody can tell you, not me, not you, not the fucking, President of the U.S., not your fucking favorite punk rock hero, nobody can tell you how to live your life. What you’ve got to do is keep on moving and keep on fucking learning and figure it out for yourself. As soon as you stop thinking, as soon as you stop trying to fucking grow, then you’re fucking dead. You might as well dig your own grave, ooohh I got all heavy. And always remember big brother is watching.
Buddyhead: So we hear that you guys have the most insane tour stories ever. Tell us about that one incident…
Matt: We were in Nashville, and we were getting ready to play in Murphy’s burrow which is right near there. Our friends live there in a really nice apartment complex, it was me, Jamie and my cousin Josh. Everybody else was out shopping and eating and stuff and we were out on the public balcony where you can smoke. This dude comes out there, he looks twenty I guess and he is pretty heavy set, bigger than all of us, normal looking guy but sort of Fred Flintstone-ish. He was asking us what we were doing there and we were telling him we were on tour blah, blah, blah and that we had nothing to do for the day. So this guy is like “why don’t you come up to my room on the 17th floor and we’ll make some drinks” and we’re like “alright, whatever”. In the elevator he was telling us how he just won close to a million dollars on this settlement from Lucid technologies because they fired him for age discrimination, so he just sued them and won. We’re like “yeah whatever” taking it for whatever it’s worth… we get up there and there is this total white trash chick from like, a trailer in Alabama and this other tall dude and he is just flaming, just flaming out the ass, it was so obvious. They were all being pretty nice and he made us these drinks that were like blue and they glow in the daylight, we had no idea what was in them. So we’re sipping it pretty slowly and they are talking about how they are going to go to all these crazy places like “tonight we are going to go to Brazil” and all this traveling they were going to do. So the main dude is talking to the girl and he is like “why don’t you go get my money out of the room” so she comes back and she has $1000 dollars in her hand and he is like “who is the most open minded here out of all you guys?” and I’m like “well, that would probably be Jamie” just being retarded or whatever and he is like “come with me” so they go in this guy’s bedroom and it is in the back on the 17th floor, they were only gone for five minutes and they come back… the guy looks at me and is like “hey Jamie, you think Matt would be down with that too? You think Matt is as open minded as you are?” and Jamie is like “probably, but you’d have to ask him” so the guy says “come with me”, we go out on his balcony, it is like 17 floors up and I am pretty tripped out and he says “what wouldn’t you do for a lot of money?” and I was like “well, I wouldn’t kill anybody and I wouldn’t let anybody stick it in my ass” and he’s all “would you let me suck your dick?” and I’m thinking “if you’re going to pay me to suck my dick, FUCK YEAH! I’m poor, I am hungry, I’m on tour” so I’m all “okay lets get it on” he was all “okay but your friends have to leave”. I’m like, that’s kind of scary, but whatever. We go out to the other room and they leave and we go back in his room and he goes “take your clothes off and get on the bed”. So I’m taking my clothes off and I am just like “oh my god! This is really fucking happening!!” It was just too unreal… I lay on his bed and he is all “man, you’re hot… you got a big dick… don’t be nervous” and I’m like “as long as you’re nothing like Jeffery Dahmer, this will be alright”. So he starts fondling me and he is like “are you okay?” and I said “I just feel like I am in “My own Private Idaho” right now, but it’s cool, do what you gotta do and get it over with”. So he starts sucking me off and stuff and jerking me off… he was doing that for a while, I was getting hard and I had my eyes shut trying to think about anything else I possibly can, and there was a point where I might have been able to cum, but he was like “don’t cum, don’t cum dude!” and I was like (with his index finger pointing up then suddenly falling forward) “bloop” just totally limp. Then he starts eating my asshole out and all this other shit… but he like, flipped me over and I was all “oh no man, this guy’s bigger than me”… he kept rubbing his dick on me and rubbing it in my crack and stuff and I’m like “no dude!, I don’t want it in there” and he’s like “I won’t, I won’t, just relax·count to ten” and I’m all “no dude!, I’m not counting to anything! Just quit it!” So finally he is like “okay” so he wanted me to sit on his chest and jerk off in his mouth, so I’m like totally limp trying to jerk off in his mouth·he was like “can I cum on you?” I was like “hell no!” so he gets off me and he said he was going to give Jamie $200 but he was all “but you’re really fucking hot, so here’s $300… would you be interested in moving in with me? I’d pay you $1000 bucks a week to live with me, I’d pay all your band mates rent in Denver and you can drive my Lexus anywhere you want, we could go to any country you want… tour, travel, whatever you want”. I’m all “no thanks dude, I have got plenty of other plans with my life than to be your personal whore”. So I said thanks for the money… I went downstairs and got Jamie and told him it was his turn to go up there… (Jamie walks in from outside)
Jamie: So all our friends were gone, but right after he left to go up there, they came back and I didn’t want to tell them what he was doing because they would have tried to stop it just because they would have thought something bad was going to happen and I was like “no it isn’t, just fucking do it”. So I go up there and Matt told you about the two tweakers that were there right? Well they figured out what was going on with him so they got all sketched out by it… so the three of them all go into the bedroom to talk about it and I have no idea what’s going on. I’m just sitting in their living room by myself just like “I’m totally fucked” I thought they were going to come out and kill me or whatever, I thought something bad was going to happen. They came out and we had to talk about the situation and basically what it boiled down to was, I didn’t give a fuck. I think it’s hilarious, I need the money, I don’t know you, I don’t give a fuck. So we headed to the bedroom.
Matt: Meanwhile, I am in the bathroom wiping saliva and pre cum out of my ass.
Jamie: So as soon as I get in there, as soon as the door shuts he turns into instant flame. So I take off my clothes and he starts talking about how Matt has the biggest cock and just totally going off talking about how he is so in love with Matt. Basically, he does the same things to me in the same exact order that he did to Matt, he totally starts sucking my cock, fuckin’ eating out my asshole, rubbing his dick on me trying to put it in my ass. I’m sitting there getting nudged from behind gagging you know? He freaked out on both of us and was like “don’t cum! don’t cum!” so I basically went totally limp… there was nothing. So finally after all of this he was like “sit on my chest and jerk off in my mouth”. So I’m going at it and over on his nightstand is this big, huge marble ashtray. It was totally two separate situations but me and Matt both thought the same thing, like we could totally brain this guy and steal the whole $1000 dollars. But he was being cool, he did what he said he was going to do and he didn’t get forceful or anything so I was cool about it. He wanted to cum on me and I was like “no way, cum on your sock or whatever”. I didn’t understand… he must have been so into it because he came like twice in a row and I don’t know how the fuck he did it. Matt: He liked me a lot as it is, but if he couldn’t get in my ass, he was going to get in Jamie’s ass. Jamie: I think if either one of us let him get us in the ass he would have given us the whole $1000 or at least $500 or something. But what it boiled down to was that he told me that he gave Matt a tip, but he didn’t really tell me how much… so the original deal was $200 and he gave me $220, he really liked Matt but whatever. We made $520 dollars for about a half hours worth of work.
Matt: Before we even left they were all like “where’s Jamie?” so I was like “he’s having a drink with this dude, I’ll go get him”. I went up there and I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to knock on the door, finally I knocked and his friends let me in and they were all upset and the flaming guy was like “I wish we met under different circumstances, I would have hit on you and it would have been great.” I was like “thanks dude” so I grab Jamie and we get out of there.
Jamie: So we were cruising and we were keeping it to ourselves and nobody was saying shit. We pull out all this money, $500 and were like “hey guys, we made all this extra money for tour”. They look back and we had all this fat cash and they were like “what the fuck, where the hell is that from?!” So we unloaded the whole story on them and they were just rolling dude…
Gared: Before that we were in the parking lot loading up the van, skating around and I see this dude all Barney Rubble/Fred Flinstone like, just real stocky but young looking… he was like, yelling Matt’s name. Matt: I was on a skateboard and I just got the fuck out of there because I didn’t want anything to do with him. Jamie: I think what he was trying to do, since he was with his friends and they were all upset he was trying to make it look like he was going to get in touch with us again, so he asked for our number, and I totally could of given him a fake one, but I thought it was kinda funny so I gave him my real number. He never got in touch with us or anything like that.
Matt: So if anyone wants to give us money for anything, we’re total whores… we got a van.
Buddyhead: Were you guys like gagging the whole time?
Matt: No man, we were cracking up! We were freaking out because it was actually happening.
Jamie: I mean that is the kind of situation where you sit around with your friends and you’re like “dude, would you let someone suck your dick for $500?” and I was the kid who was always like, no way! But it actually came up and we were like “fuck yeah!”
Matt: Now we just fuck with our friends and Jamie will like, suck my dick in a room full of people… it’s fucking great! Especially around people you don’t know.
Jamie: We just don’t give a fuck dude.
Matt: He’ll totally suck my dick, hold my balls and rub all up on my shit… we don’t care.
Jamie: One time I was sitting in my room totally jamming out with headphones on, and he just comes in and sticks his dick in my mouth and I’m totally playing guitar sucking his cock and all these people are like “what the fuck?!” We just don’t care ya know? We’re friends, we gotta get past that shit… I mean, who better to be sucking your dick than your friends?
