Buddyhead's Rules for Audiences of Rock

27 Responses

  1. jacqui says:

    guh, fat bitches in the front. agreed. they’re impossible to get around, it’s like taking on the great jelly wall of china. grrr tall fuckers… went to a show where a dude who was like 6’5 and his 6′ buddies were at the front and these short honeys asked to get in front and he said “hurrr nuh”. so not cool.

    i would add one more though. 25. just because you’ve taken your first e tab at your first rock show doesn’t mean you should scream like you’re being buttfucked by jesus because the ‘love of your life’ has come on stage or ‘slam dance’ cause you’re so hardcore and into the music. you RUIN shows – not make them.

  2. The Reverend Arthur Lange says:

    Mosh or be moshed. That is the only rule.

  3. Arg says:

    number twenty two is only cool if you’re at an early nirvana show and everyone else is doing it (at least slam dancing). except kurts dead, so i guess 22 is never cool.

  4. Rob says:

    I thought I was the only frequent show attendee who is always next to the idiot who has to sing every word to every song. If not then i’m next to the couple or group that chit chat at full volume throughout the show, except the last few songs cos they left to beat traffic. These people are inconsiderate dicks, we want to hear the band not you…

  5. Noely G says:

    Rule #1a: if you paid any amount of money to see Tool and were bummed you couldn’t hear more of Maynard’s voice you should never attend any concerts other than Tool’s. That way I will never have to meet you.

  6. Noely G says:

    Updated version

    Rule 25: Never, EVER, have your cell phone out while at a concert. If texting/twittering/taking shitty cell phone photos of the band is all you can do at a show, then stay at home and update your facebook instead. Going to a concert = you’re already out of the house being entertained by (hopefully) hard-working musicians (unless its Tool). Enjoy it!

    Rule 26: Never, EVER, have your stupid digital camera out while at a concert. If you were a good photographer, you’d be paid to take photos of the band.

    Rule 27: If you must attend a concert with assigned seating (not recommended) do not pound beers as much as you can before the show begins only to excuse yourself to use the bathroom every 5 minutes while the headliner is on! You’re getting in the fucking way of those who actually came to see the band!

    Rule 28: Never get drunk at a show! If you can’t enjoy the band unless you’re fucking blacked out, you’re an idiot.

    Rule 29: If you have rediculously BIG hair, never go to a concert.

  7. wiggy says:

    Erm rule 28 is absolute balls

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  19. Scott M. says:

    Wow. I'm glad to see that Buddyhead is as classless as ever.

  20. Eric says:

    sure, i get it. every blog wants to have some sort of content that stills comments – but this is all BS. most of the rules sound like things the editor probably does, but wants to sounds like a tough-guy and be like "any one who does this stuff is a loser" even though he secretly is guilty of all of them. just another reason I probably won't read this blog again. fun while it lasted though.

    • Sergio G. says:

      You don't really know shit. This was a classic post from 2002 or so. I still find it to be one of the funniest things ever. But then again, go ahead and be the fat ass fainting bitch at shows, who i am to judge…

  21. Guest says:

    These are shitty rules. Everyone sings at shows, the music is so fucking loud it doesn't matter, mosh pits are fun, and it is okay to be a superfan.

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